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NeverEasy

Male. Probably a bit on the high side for most of you; I express my age now using scientific notation. Let's be clear: unless/until you're mine, you owe me nothing. Once you are mine, though: you owe me everything.

Journal and profile writers:

Life is going to work a lot better for you if you get over the notion that someone - anyone - "owes" it to you to read a message, a journal entry, anything.

It'd be nice, that's true.

But, think about all the things that would be "nice", and then think about how many of those nice things you feel are "owed" to you.

Me, I don't figure you owe me a fucking thing. What I do - and what I think is sensible - is: if I send a message, and it gets no response, that's a response. The response is lack of interest, bad timing, didn't notice, whateverthefuck. 

Now, if you were to belong to me - different story. Completely, drastically, radically different.

I read through a good number of profiles and journals of submissives and slaves today, and I have a confession to make:

Given how common their truly horrific experiences with Masters and Dominants are, I'm embarrassed to admit I must not be a real one, since in my long history of thinking that I was, I've never threatened or actually tried to off anyone.

Oh, well.

"Saydates" now?

Well, I suppose now that everything that needs fixing or improvement on Collarspace has been completed, it's clearly the right time to add something new...

Some of you fuckers are certifiable; like Plato's Allegory of the Cave, except above the fire is a Disco Ball, and the cave walls are Fun House mirrors.

In case it's not clear: I really like that.

So much negativity, and so many "do not contact me if"...

I bet I could make some serious money if I started a site called "JustCollarSomeoneElseOK.Com"

 

Many here post journals about how much they hate Collarspace (which, really, it's too bad they're being forced to stay here), but I think I tend to post things I like.

Whether that's true or not (maybe I have a more cheerful assessment of my nature than is evident to others), I'll tell you what may be my favorite thing here.

And by "favorite", I mean, I laugh, for real, every day about this.

It's the "Tolerates" category in Profiles.

It's sooooo fucking a priori negative, pissy, and sour, and I can't help it - no matter what I see in that list, it truly, honestly, sincerely cracks me up.

"Hey, wanna see if we click? Welllll, how about if I tell you what I tolerate? Hawt, amirite?!"

Most of the time, when I send a message to someone here, the person responds.

Sometimes, they don't.

And you know what I do about that?

Not a damned thing, because, unless you're a complete fucking dope, "no response" IS a response; a pretty clear one.

Were I to appeal to everyone, THAT would be a problem for me.

Appealing to only a few is far more desirable.

If there do exist gods, goddesses, spirits, demons, etc., they must find the pedestrian, quotidian activities with which we occupy ourselves most of the time to be so infuriatingly tedious that that, alone, could explain their incursions into our realm: to inflict anomalous, inexplicable twists, turns, and vexations upon us - as punishment for being so fucking boring.

You're never going to hear me complain about Collarspace as a waste of time, or full of terrible people, or useless, or anything like that.

I may gripe about features, or neglect of the site from a technical point of view. 

But: if it gets to the point where I deem Collarspace to be a waste of time, or full of fakes, or whateverfuck complaints of that nature that I read some others make - if/when that happens, I won't be whining about it like a child. I'll just leave. You know - like an adult would.

There was a police procedural on TV in the late 50s (hey, even I'm not old enough to have watched it, except in old old reruns), and it would end with a voice-over: "There are eight million stories in the Naked City. This has been one of them."

CS really reminds me of that line.

Back when yahoo chatrooms were a thing, there was some doofus whose handle was something like "IAMTHEBESTMASTER", and whenever he came into a room, I would change my screen name to "IAMTHE3RDBESTMASTER".

Fun times.

Some of you are truly out of your fucking minds.

tbh, I like that.

You didn't ask for any, but here comes some advice:

Do journals.

Absolutely the best thing you can do here, if you actually want to connect with someone.

Profiles are fucked up anyhow - you already know that; you change something, and by the time your change is approved, you'll want to change it again.

Your journaling will allow people to get to know you a little, without wasting their time or yours with "Hi", "How are you/" or, even worse: "What do you seek little one?" (Good fuckng GOD, there really are people do that, you know.)

Don't worry about being profound, deep, funny, sexy, or compelling.

Just write what you're thinking, and everything will work out for the best.

 

Some of you submissives/slaves are quite clever: passive-aggressively publishing your journals in a foreground/background color combination that is fucking impossible to read.

(Yes, this is just me being a fucking crab)

Many people give you advice on what your profile should look like, what you should say, how you should say, what you shouldn't say, etc.

And you should ignore all of that (except, of course, what I'm about to say. Of course).

Just say whateverthefuck you feel like saying.

Look howeverthefuck you feel like looking.

Express whateverthefuck you feel like expressing.

Because that's you. 

You are what you do; you are NOT your intentions.

Whether you mean to or not, you are being who you are.

If it turns out you're lying, then, you're a liar.

Because you are what you do.

From time to time, I'll read a profile wherein the woman will say something like "very open-minded".

It could very well be me projecting my own perversity, but: the way I interpret this is: "You would not BELIEVE the kind of crazy, vile, clearly-disgusting-to-everyone stuff I want to do, but, I'd feel a LOT better about things if YOU would be the one to bring it up, OK?"

Am I wrong about this?

I hope I'm right, because it cracks me up.

I sincerely just noticed the lower age limit in my search criterion was 18, which, let's be serious: what am I going to do with and 18 year old? Take her to the "Hello, Kitty" store?

(And yes, of course there are mature 18 year olds, and of course I don't mean you, Mature 18 Year Old. Not you. The other 18 year olds are the ones I'm talking about.)

I don't claim to be free of the typically outsized-ego that regularly accompanies dominant types.

I do claim to be good-humored, realistic, and occasionally self-deprecating about it, though.

Because I'm not play-acting, and I'm not self-narrating, and I didn't see this stuff in a movie, and I'm not clothing psychotic or sociopathic traits in the convenient garb of "dominance".

I will mention this, in case it's of interesting: I don't want what anyone can have. That's not me being judgmential; that's just something useful to know if you want to know something about me. 

Now, if you do NOT want to know something about me, why on Earth did you read this far?

From time to time, I'll read a profile I like, and I'll put in considerable effort to send a message to the woman to whom it belongs, and I'll get absolutely no response, even though I can see that it was read.

And you know what I do about that?

Absolutely nothing, because I'm not some whining, pouty, butt-hurt, self-important asshole who believes that because I'm a dominant male, the entire fucking world is about me.

I'm not transactional: if I appreciate something, I say so for its own sake, not because I'm eliciting a response. 

 

Journalists' Lament: "I'm sorry - we're different".

 

No, no, no - you've got it wrong. It's good we're different.

What you want is the right sort of different; the synergistic, ever-recreating, ever-permuting, ever-evolving different.

Some things do need to click, it's true. I like what Waits said: "You're the same kind of bad as me."

"Please be under 60"

Believe me, baby; I've tried.

I read journals here.

Lately, that's about all I do here.

From time to time, I'll have messaging conversations; and when I do, they more often focus on nouns (people, places, things) than on verbs (who does what with what, to whom, where and how).

 

Are you one of those people who create a profile which consists of some disclaimer ("I hate these things...") followed by "I'll fill in more later" ?

I'm going to help you: no, chances are extremely high that you will not, in fact, fill in more later.

It's fine - not a big deal. Be who you are, and see who bites; you'll find there are plenty of people who are perfectly OK with getting to know you incrementally, starting from zero.


Man, it's always something with this site, from a technical fuck-up pov.

(You'd think for all the money we pay every month, they'd... oh, wait a minute.  Never mind.)

If you're a dominant or master, and you're so dank, dour, and brooding that you don't get your girl something for Valentine's Day, then... seriously, you're just being a dick.

Wise up.

So, when the demonstrably easily outraged post journals in which they bemoan the "fakes" and the "time-wasters", what do you think their objective is by doing so?

Do you figure they think if they do that, then some desperate soul will contact them and promise, with their virtual hand on a virtual Gor paperback that "No, honest, I'm different - please, please, please choose me!"?

I understand a lot of things, but unless it's to elicit some variation on what I just described above, I can't understand why a serious person who values their time would waste their time complaining about people here wasting their time.

 

The Verification String on login was SEXAAP, and that's a stronger argument for the existence of a God than anyone else has ever given me.

I read a journal in which the author noted that, in a way, she felt lucky when ghosted, disrespected, etc., because it really meant she could eliminate someone as a "possible", and, had, in fact, dodged a bullet.

I think she's 100% correct in this.

I don't do the "angry pouting Dominant" horseshit; it's unseemly, unfitting, and it should be embarrassing to those who do respond that way.

I've expressed the same sentitment that she did in several ways over the years, but one I may not have mentioned here is a concept from new product development: "Fail Early".  There is real value in determining if something isn't going to work; I think everyone agrees with that. Chasing something doomed to fail costs time, money, emotional expenditure, etc.

If that's self-evident to you, then it should also be clear that finding out sooner is better than finding out later. I'm not saying you shouldn't give sincere people a chance; what I'm saying is: if it's crystal clear that something isn't going to work out, it's a favor to yourself and the other person to relegate it to the rear-view mirror, and keep facing forward.

Since actual communication seems to be rare here (although, let's be honest: it could just have something to do with me, personally), I'm going to suggest to the Collarspace PTB: Add social media style "Likes" and "Repost" buttons to the Journals that we read.

(I am girding my loins for the invevitable inundation of opprobrium sure to follow this suggestion)

Since actual communication seems to be rare here (although, let's be honest: it could just have something to do with me, personally), I'm going to suggest to the Collarspace PTB: Add social media style "Likes" and "Repost" buttons to the Journals that we read.

(I am girding my loins for the invevitable inundation of opprobrium sure to follow this suggestion)

Though I occasionally (by which I mean "nearly always") express some sort of sarcasm or snark, and though I certainly don't tend to present as a beacon of joy, forgiveness, and gratitude, I'm going to suggest that just for the next couple of weeks, we try hard to be decent to each other.

Just a suggestion to submissives:

You should be interesed in your prospective dominant's limits, too; you should want to know that.

Unless/until you belong to someone, you can (and should) ask whatever fucking questions you feel like asking.

 

Let's make at least a tiny bit of sense here, OK?

It is absolutely, utterly futile to proclaim you are "real" and not a "fake".

This is equivalent to saying "I'm not lying; and the proof is: I'm not lying, because if I were, that would mean I was lying, and I'm not. Q.E.D."

People will think what they want to think, and defending yourself from accusation in a message is pointless.

Corollary: Since there is no logical written defense against being accused of being fake, there is no point in making such accusations, other than to exercise and display your dickishness.

I just found myself laughing at remembering something someone said - "I really do respect and love the rituals, the protocols, the obedience, the apparatus, all of it... but, once in a while, can't we just fuck?"


Sincerely, I just laughed again, rereading that.

 

Some people here are crazy as fuck, and were that not to be the case, I think I'd let this account shrivel and die.

Bring it!

 

 

 

Most people have fantasies. I don't fault them for that.

I have desired outcomes; it's an entirely different way of thinking.

Saw a perfectly fine profile which asked any potential correspondants to "be nice", and my first thought was "I'm nice as Hell."

Interpret that as you wish.

Many (all?) of us don't dare modify our profiles, because bitter experience has taught us that the slightest change results in a re-approval process, the duration of which is unknown, and during which our ability to do much on cs is quite limited.

That's why I was surprised to see this in the "Resources" section of cs - I have highlighted the part that may be most useful in yellow. I do want to point out that I have NOT confirmed changing age or weight doesn't result in a re-approval timeout. 

Just passing this along to those who are using journals to update age.

 

If I make changes to my approved profile will I need to wait for my profile to be approved again?

 
 
Yes. You can adjust profile information such as your age or your weight without the need for re-approval however if you make changes to your profile text your profile will be re-submitted for approval. To avoid the inconvenience of your profile being offline for a period of time we recommend that you only change an approved profile if you feel that significant changes are necessary.

Well, I'm seeing a new symbol in the list of users, and, I don't know what it's meant to denote.

So far I've seen it only when the person is a female dominant. 

It's a yellow-ish circle with a red crown inside it.

Am I missing something obvious here?

Should I cut back on huffing volatile hydrocarbons?

I've mentioned this before: Read PrettyJellyBean's journals - great stuff!

It may be that the most important thing in this life is enthusiasm.

And, it may be that the hardest thing a person can do is to resist becoming jaded, cynical, and filled with ennui.

Is it possible for ennui to progress to the point such that the degree of it becomes interesting enough to belie its characterization as ennui?

Evidently, I am involved in such an experiment, though not by design.

FWIW Dept:

Language - the words we choose to describe things - are denotative, of course; but they are also connotative, and to my mind, the connotations convey the more information.

An example: I see people use the term "sex toys". Of course I know what they mean. But, I glean more about their attitude and perspective from the words they choose. Me, I never use that phrase. For me, the better term is "sex tools"; they're a means by which some particular outcome in which I'm interested is made more likely. And what you can infer, connotatively, is that I don't infantilize terminology, nor do I fetishize it.*

That doesn't mean I'm some kind of grim, dank, glowering Dungeon Master buffoon who describes what he's doing in italics in chat rooms.

What I'm really saying here is that we're in engaging in a mostly text-based exchange here on CS, and I promise, I pay very close attention to the words you use, and the way you use them. As you should, mine.

 

* Fucking HELL I sound stodgy!

As is the case, I'm sure, with everyone else on this site, I read profiles, and especially journals, and I do admit that I frequently find myself saying "well, now... THAT is some fucked up shit, right there, innit?"

But I'm also struck by two things:

1. I'm pretty fucked up, myself; no question about that.

2. I'm a little surprised at my own sappy take on this - but, it's kind of sweet that here's a place where no matter how fucked up you are, there's probably someone who reads your fucked-upped description of the fucked-up thing(s) you're into and thinks: "Hot damn! EXACTLY what I was looking for!"

Fucking wonderful, right?

You might be surprised...

At the number of times "likes Oldies" or "loves Oldies" appears in someone's profile, but, it turns out they meant music, and not men over 60.

Or, perhaps you wouldn't be surprised, after all.

People are unique. 

We categorize out of laziness usually, but, sometimes out of necessity; we're all just too complex, too rich in variation to do otherwise.

So it doesn't surprise me that we all have different ideas as to how "This Thing We Do" should be.

I'm not a particularly popular person here, which, I suppose is completely understandable, and, perhaps because I don't have much to lose, I don't have any qualms regarding expressing a view which is atypical or perhaps offensive to some. If I do, the easiest thing in the world is to just do what most do anyhow: pay no attention.

All of that is prologue to me saying that there is no way in this world that I consider submission to be a "gift". If it's not a compelling inevitability, then there's no match.

I'm sure there are plenty of decent men who want a such a cool presen, though.

Gotta tell ya - I'm *this* close.

Youngest I'll ever be, and older than I've ever been.

I sent a message to someone and that person didn't reply, so now I hate Collarspace forever and ever and ever.

(How'm I doin', Butthurt Dominants?  Can I join the Brotherhood now?)

 

I think there's only one person on this site who can properly understand "Mrs. Davis."

Oh hey -- you know what?

I sent someone a message, and she didn't respond to it, and you know what I'm NOT going to do? 

I'm not going to whine, and complain, and make a big deal out of it.

She owes me nothing; I have no idea why she didn't respond, but, I'm good with it. 

I just thought it might be useful to see that there needn't be histrionics about this sort of thing.

Not that it matters, but:

Jesus Fucking CHRIST my attitude is absolutely sucking lately.

Let me be clear:

1. I don't give one solitary shit that "fakes" bother you. It's like complaining that the free food at some restaurant isn't very tasty. Fine. Go somewhere else.

2. I don't give one solitary shit how good you are, how bad you are, how smart you are, how stupid you are, how dominant or submissive you are in GENERAL. I care ONLY about how you are with ME.

3. I don't give one solitary shit about your "instructions" as to how I am supposed to read your profile. And that's fine, because if you think I'll pay attention to that sort of thing, you're not the right person for me, and I'm most definitely not the right person for you.

5. I don't give one solitary shit about the order of digits.

4. See what I mean?

 

Alfred Korzybski is famous for quite a few things, but what I'm quoting here is the phrase: "The map is not the territory". 

Similarly, Alan Watts said: "The menu is not the meal."

And René Magritte painted "The Treachery of Images", which is a picture of a pipe, with the caption "This is not a pipe".

There are many other examples of the central point: The model or representation of a thing isn't the thing. It is, necessarily, a kind of short-hand for the thing. A symbol of it, meant to communicate an internal representation from one person to another.

When we talk to each other, part of rapport that develops (if it develops at all) has to do with cohering or tuning our mutual, but separate, understandings of what means what to each of us.

All of this is to say: part of our responsibilities when we're talking to each other is to continue to calibrate what we mean.

 

People give advice all the time here on Collarspace.

I'm about to do the same, and it's pretty blunt, but I really do hope it's useful and, in a way, freeing.

Don't be nice, if you're not a nice person.

Don't be deferential if you're not a deferential person.

Don't be polite if you're not a polite person.

Don't be effusive if you're not an effusive person.

Just be who and what you are; everything else is just too fucking exhausting to keep up; you can pretend to be what you're not, trick someone into connecting with you, but -- you'll get tired, you'll drop the act, and you'll fuck it up.

Incredibly, no matter how wonderful you are, or how much of a horror you are, someone, somewhere, wants exactly that. 

My rule is, and always has been: be who you are when I wake you from a sound sleep at 3am. If I like that one, we're good. 

 

This should be obvious:

You don't need to proclaim that which should be self-evident.

It's probably useful to keep that in mind when someone chestbeats their "dominance".

Hey, Collarspace: you know what we need here?

"Likes", for Journals. 

Maybe even re-Journaling, or something like that.

And, while we're at it: Replies.

 

Something else I like about Collarspace:

 

You know the expression "An exhaustive list"?

 

Sometimes. when reading various profile "Interests", I think "Man... that really IS an exhaustive list."

Do you ever look at someone's profile interests and wonder if, really, you just don't know the meaning of some term, or that it's being used euphemistically?

e.g. Is there a hot, sexy way to do "Soap Making"?

It is unnecessary to proclaim that which is self-evident.

n.b. chest-thumpers ;)

I walk into a bookstore. I see shelf after shelf; thousands and thousands of books. I'm not interested in most of them. Of the ones that do catch my interest, I'll pick a small percentage. Of the ones I pick up, I'll read the jacket. Of the ones where I read the jacket, I may feel intrigued enough to read a few paragraphs. And of the ones where I read a few paragraphs, I may choose a book.

I walk along the beach. I see hundreds of thousands of shells; pieces of shells. Different colors, shapes, sizes. I see them, but I don't really pay attention to 99.999% of them. Sometimes, the light is just right, and a shell my glint just right, and it'll catch my eye. I'll enjoy that moment, but most of the time, I won't go to it and pick it up. Sometimes the best part of it is the noticing, and the glint, and the recognition that's special, at that moment to me. And sometimes I will walk over to it, and sometimes, I'll pick up a shell that I've walked over to. And sometimes, I'll feel compelled to take it with me.

Folks... people, human beings, are MUCH more complicated, much richer, MUCH more interesting and diverse than any book, any shell. Finding the right person can take time. That's how it's supposed to work. 

 

I don't know that I've ever recommeneded a read of someone's journal, but, I'm doing so now.

If you're a submissive person, I don't think you're ever going to get better advice on how to comport yourself here on Collarspace than that which is contained in the 1/8 journal of "prettyjellybean".

Yes, it's directed at submissive men (she makes that clear in the first paragraph), but, but conceptually, I think it applies to all.

I'd really like to get in on the whole "whine about the people on Collarspace" movement, but unfortunately, I have no complaints about anyone.

People either respond politely and forthrightly, or they don't respond at all; and, let's face it: if someone doesn't respond at all, that's really a response. It means the person is:

1. Not interested. Good to know!

2. Rude. Also good to know!

3. Not taken with my charm. Still, good to know!

All of that saves me a lot of time and heartache; what's to complain about?

Don't despair, though: I'm sure I'll come up with something about which to complain regarding this absolutely free site which no one is forcing me to use.

 

I do get quite a few messages from gay guys, and let me be clear: I'm not angry about it, and I'm supportive, but I have absolutely zero interest. I wish you guys the best, and I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for, but, seriously, it's not going to happen.

Has there always been a "follow" button on the listing of journals, and I've just missed it?

 

One of the things I love about Collarspace is the truly delightful clash between the quotidian and the outré in profiles.

I don't know anywhere else you can read about a person's likes and dislikes and see something like:

"I enjoy Impressionism, frozen yogurt, long walks, and also being double-fisted by yodeling men dressed in lederhosen."

Some people have elegance and grace - perhaps it's not that they have it but that elegance and graces flows through them, and its presence becomes visible, that way that ultraviolet light itself itsn't quite visible, but some pigments, upon irradiation by it, glow.

Some people recognize that "holidays", themselves, are just notches on a temporal stick - and that it's not the holiday itself that matters; it's that the days we set aside as holidays are focusig talismans, by which we experience something beyond our material selves, and that we all do so at the same time, thereby magnifying the experience, the way a choir is fundamentally different from a single voice.

If that makes sense to you, I hope that at this time of year, that experience is a beautiful and powerful one.

There are some men, who, upon reading in a woman's profile that she "tolerates" this or that, issue a sort of delighted snort, insasmich as the usefulness of staking out that position is orthogonal the man's notions as to How This Works.

*Yes; here I'm speaking of myself.

 

Well, the log on Verification String was PUGFUK, so, I'm thinking that I've already gotten more from CS than I do on a typical day.

 

If you're here on CS, I assume you're an adult, legally able to make decisions.

And, being an adult, you have the right to (as the expression goes) "go to Hell in your own way."

But, holy fuck - when I read profiles which offer you the chance to meet someone from Deliverance out in the country 200 miles from the nearest non-homicidal maniac, so that you can be "trained"... ffs, don't do that.

I just read a well-written, engaging profile, wherein the writer ended by saying "I want it all!", and, as I mentioned to her, it made be realize that I've yet to read a profile in which the person says something like "To be honest, I'm probably just fine with having about 90% of it."

I can be wordy and long-winded; I cop to that.

But, holy fuck: some people are truly wordy and long-winded.

Some people write journals which take longer to read than the amount of time many relationships last.

OK - so the "test" Journal DID get approved.

And now I get to somehow infer why the others did not.

But, hey - we all love a mystery, right?

Hmmm.

This one is just a test; I don't seem to be able to get journal entries approved.

Of course if this one IS approved, I'll have to draw some inference as to what prevented the others.

Yes, I do "check in" here, nearly every day; who knows: the world can change.

I am capable of being surprised.

It's gotten to the point that I'm here for only two reasons:

1. I really love seeing the screen names; the more atrocious, the better. I'm not kidding.

2. To read the Journals.

 

 

Odd things happening with pop-up ads on this site now; just me, or are others experiencing something "new"?

What is the greatest last monologue of any character in a sci-fi film, and why, if you don't agree that it's what I'm about to quote, are you so mistaken?

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time to die."

I saw a porn title that was "Nuns Luve Cum", and I'm pretty sure I'm going to Hell simply for having read the title.

I guess now you are, too.

I understand that I don't speak from a defensible position when I say "profiles matter" (inasmuch as mine is pretty much useless), however, I will point out that I've taken up the habit of not even looking at profiles much anymore; my focus is on reading interesting journals.

That's the direction - the sequence - that works for me. If I see journal entry that interests me, then, and only then, am I interested in viewing a profile.

There was a time in which that order was reversed; but now (evidently), I'm more interested in what a person said yesterday or today than I am in what was on their mind when they created their profile.

 

This is really quite funny to me.

I had created a journal entry about typos, and in it I was using a word that means something like "complain", but which you would use in a courtroom setting. 

And, CS being what it is, they excised the portion of the word which could be used to executable commands into regular text.  They do this for your protection, by the way.

I'll reproduce it below, but with slight alteration to (maybe) not get santized:

------

 

Yes, I'm aware that from time to time there are typos in my journals.

But, let's be realistic. The impetus to make the effort to correct these has to do with:

1. The probability that these get read, in the first place. Let's say that's something like 1 of 1,000.

2. The probability that IF they are read, the typos will be noticed. For simplicity, call it 1 of 1,000, too.

 

The compound probability would be 1 of 1,000,000.

Now, the most clever of you could make an οbjecτion: you might say that while it may be true that reading this in the first place might be 1 of 1,000, anyone who would make that decision to read might be predisposed to pay closer attention to the content, and the compound probability would be quite different.

It would probably be fun to talk to someone who would raise that οbecτioη ;)

Yes, I'm aware that from time to time there are typos in my journals.

But, let's be realistic. The impetus to make the effort to correct these has to do with:

1. The probability that these get read, in the first place. Let's say that's something like 1 of 1,000.

2. The probability that IF they are read, the typos will be noticed. For simplicity, call it 1 of 1,000, too.

 

The compound probability would be 1 of 1,000,000.

Now, the most clever of you could make an ion: you might say that while it may be true that reading this in the first place might be 1 of 1,000, anyone who would make that decision to read might be predisposed to pay closer attention to the content, and the compound probability would be quite different.

It would probably be fun to talk to someone who would raise that ion ;)

CS is like the local bar.

You go in pretty fequently; you don't expect much, and you're seldom disappointed.

You recognize everyone, and they recognize you, and there's an unspoken understanding about what you do and don't do in this bar; at some bars, you might go wild. Here, though, there's an understand; maybe it's because you'll be back tomorrow night,and once you get tagged as being an asshole, it'll take quite a while for that to fade.

And, like the local bar, there are maybe one or two people about whom you know that some night, maybe only once, everything will line up, and for reasons not entirely clear or reasonable, she'll go home with you. And it won't be meaningless, but it also probably won't be durable; and attempts to make it so won't be undertaken. Because of that understanding.

It's almost certainly not tonight; every night it's almost certainly not that night. But, rare things happen. It's just that they happen rarely.

Unpopular (perhaps) opinion:

If you say you're dominant, and you complain about Collarspace, and yet you keep showing up, mostly to just complain even more, it really does just seem like whining.

I don't think of dominance and whining as overlapping much.

But, hey, that's just me.

Rounded buttons and the start of a site facelift may not seem like much, but it does indicate that someone is working on the CS site, and, I most definitely support that!

 

 

I do tend to log on every day; and I check out this and that, and I have to admit: I'm experiencing some ennui about the site.

It's not that I'm expect "someone".

It's that there seems to be little that interests me. There's little delight, and little outrage. (I particularly enjoy the latter, btw.)

I'm not entirely clear on whether this is a Good Thing or a Bad Thing.

Changed my profile, and, sure enough, it was approved with gratifying rapidity!

 

Going to change my profile.

Quite some time, this might mean days, weeks, or even longer , of a profile not being "approved" and visible.

However, I've seen several journals wherein a person has claimed the turnaround time has been lately much shorter.

And so, worth the risk.

And, of course, I should also note that the visibility of my profile seems not to be too much of an urgent concern for most of ya ;)

I expect absolutely nothing from CS.

And I'm happy to report that I'm seldom disappointed.

Also:  I want to acknowledge that, in a previous Journal Entry, I mispelled "been" as "benn", and, as it is my experience that getting an edited Journal Entry "approved" takes a geological epoch, whereas getting a new Journal Entry approved takes Not Very Long At All, it'll just have to stand as is.

OK, Eagle-Eyes: you thought I was going to leave "mispell", huh?  Nah, it was a cheap trick. "misspelled".

I send messages to people from time to time. About half the time, maybe a little more, the recipient doesn't respond.

You know what I do about that?  Not one single fucking thing, other than to infer that the person has no interest in a conversation.

You know how bad that makes me feel? Not one single bit bad.

You know how I retaliate? I don't.

You know how I complain to others about it? I don't.

You know my advice to you if you have a similar experience? Calm the fuck down. That's my advice.

CS: I've benn here a LONG time, and I want to suggest a feature, but... I have the feeling maybe it used to exist; just can't recall.

Anyhow: To my mind, someone's Journals tell me more about a person than does a profile.  A "Search Journals" feature would be pretty great.

I've mentioned before: I read many Profiles, and read lots and lots of Journals.

And, at this point, I'm thinking seriously of becoming a fucking CS Matchmaker: there are SO many "perfect couples" who could be, but aren't. 

That strange pink type that CS uses by default is pretty difficult for me to read.

One consequence is: the number of times I've misread "feral" as "fecal" and mistakenly thought "Aw, man... I don't think so..."

I don't know that anyone currently is interested in "understanding" me, but I'll share this:

I don't have "fantasies"; I have plans.

Hey, CS:

 

You've done a pretty great job with bringing Journals back, and, we seem to be able effectively use expressive, conventially punctuated text; there seems to be no over-zealous cleaning or santizing of potentially dangerous tags, etc.

Good work!

Now, since you're able to do that, what is it about messages which prevents you from using the same text editing subsystem for user-to-user communication?  And, the same question for profile text?

 

 

After reading thousands of profiles, I note that certain phrases appear so frequently that they become hackneyed and clichéd.

As such, I have the idea that the time may be right for me to describe myself as "Infirm and Unfair", just to cut through the noise.

I swear, sometimes it's so frustrating here, I think very seriousy about asking for my money back.

What?

It's free?

Exactly.

I wrote a journal, and it was approved very quickly. 

Then, I noticed a typo, so I edited that journal. It now appears to be languishing in Journal Limbo.

Why mention this? Well, the edit I made was to delete one letter; I'd accidentally used the past tense of a verb. My edit consisted of removing the terminal 'd'.

So, from here on out, you get me AND my uncorrected errors.

You know how when you sign in there's the "Verification String" you need to type in?

I don't know if the Universe is sending me signs, but man, some of these 6-letter combinations have, lately, seemed to be more commentary than security.

Yesterday (and I'm not kidding), the string was : "U C HOES".  (I added the spacing)

A little harsh, but, who am I to argue with the Universe?

You have no obligation to be polite when someone asks you stupid things in messages.

You also have no obligation to be an asshole about it.

The point is that you have no obligation to do anything at all.

So, what that means is: whatever you actually do is a choice; and no one is responsible for that choice, except for you.

I know it may shock some, but, here's the truth:

If you look at my profile, I don't assume you want to fuck me.

And it's the same if I look at yours.

Astonishing, I know.

Welcome to the world of Inevitable Consequences, USA.

So, sometimes you look at a profile, and you see a person you find visually attractive, and then, you read what they have to say, and you find that she's articulate, and THEN you read something about what she's really quite into, something that's really important to her - something that's so much a part of her that she asks, "please, if this isn't something you're in to, don't contact me", but you're not into it at all. Not even a little.

Then what do you do?

NOTHING, you fuck. You do NOTHING.

You don't try to point out she's wrong; you don't try to convert her, or to argue with her.

You do NOTHING, because everone has the right to go to Hell in his or her own way.

You leave her the fuck alone.

Inasmuch as you don't belong to me, you have every right to tell me how you want your profile to be read - "completely", or "thoroughly", or "in its entirety", etc..

However, it's highly unlikely that I'll take instruction on such matters.

There are any number of men who will, and I commend them to you with best wishes and a cheerful heart.

I read profiles.

Many, many profiles.

And, sometimes, people don't tick boxes for interests. I'm good with that; do what you want, how you want. (Unless you belong to me, in which case it's "do what I want, how I want". But that's a topic for a different journal.)

Anyhow, I notice that CS has this on a profile without interests:

"This user has failed to specify their interests"

Seems like an awfully damned judgmental way to put it, if ask me.

FFS.

If someone wants to talk to you, or respond to you, they will.

I don't tell other dominant people how to act, but, I'll just observe: to most people "whiner" doesn't connote "dominant."

Man oh man.

I am the first to admit that I am mightly fucked up, in a hundred different ways. Anyone who knows me will readily attest to that.

But you know, when I read some of these profiles, and I read some of these journals, I have to say, the strangest feeling of....  "Normality by Comparison" comes over me.

For that reason, alone, I love this place.

Y'know... 

I'm all in favor of rough stuff, but, when I see a profile wherein the woman "loves clubbing"...

Even I think "clubbing" is a little harsh.

Even after all this time, evidently, I'm still naïve about some things.

For example: I read that someone was "into First Time Anal".

OK.

Nothing that journals don't seem to be getting approved and published IN a journal entry is a kind of madness, right?

Don't answer that.

Well, this is kind of odd:

 

When you're not logged in to Collarspace, you see, of course, a different menu down the left hand side.

I played with a few of the buttons, and with "what can you do if you're not logged in".

Turns out, you do almost everything except send/read mail, and of course, you can't modify your profile (but, seriously, who does that, since the "approval" process can sometimes take what seems like decades).

But, the weird thing I'm talking about in this journal is: when you're not logged in, some of the buttons on the left side menu are, naturally, missing. Journal is still there; you can read people's journals. I'm not sure if that's a security issue or not.

But, what I'm talking about is a button that IS there when you're logged out, but ISN'T there when you're logged in: "Directory".  It appears to be an alphabetic list of every CS name - AND - if you click on one, you see their profile. But get this: The picture is wrong! I know, because I looked at mine.

Very, very strange.

My favorate profle genre: The inexperienced, innocent waif:

"Hello, Sirs. I just turned 18 about 15 minutes ago, and although I've never been touched by a man, and I've got a hymen sweet as cotton candy, I think I'm ready to get to know some Doms who are in their, I don't know, 50s, I guess, who are willing, despite my purity and overly-trusting nature, to show me what this lifestyle is all about. Most of what I know comes from watching Buffy and Scooby-Doo. I just know that I'm ready. So, if it wouldn't be too much of a hardship for you to do everything you've always wanted to do to a girl, I would be so grateful."

 

Etc.

I've played guitar for longer than most of you have been alive.

And the fact is, I can play any guitar; I can coax sweet tone from just about any of them.

But "just about any of them" isn't the same thing as "the guitar I love"; the one I've put time into. The one I understand. The one that gives something back to me. The one that I know just how hard I can push. The one that has my dna worked into the fretboard. The one that I'm not too keen about anyone else playing. That one is different. 

Now, I'm pretty old school about a lot of things, and if you take a longer view of what you're reading, you'll know that I'm talking about more than guitars.

I see so many complaints about Collarspace.

And, you know, I think I agree with most of them.

In fact, I'm so riled about it, I think I'm going ask for my money back...

So many say "I'm not a doormat".

OK, but, have you tried being a doormat?

Some people say things in their profiles such as "I'm just me."

Which, really, is a helpful clarification, insasmuch as my first impression was that you were more than you, less than you, other than you, or not you.

A bit of a screed, perhaps.

 

Here we are on CS, and there's absolutely no way in the world to instantly ascertain if someone is "real" or not.

And I see a lot of complaining, and accusations about this topic, so it's probably worth noting my position, with respect to this.

I couldn't care less if you're real, fake, or a dog who has learned to type. (OK, that last part... I'd care about that.)

And here's why. It's part of a larger picture, so let me frame it.

I know absolutely nothing about you, and you know absoutely nothing about me. You could be lying, I could be lying, whatever.

For example: you say you're submissive. Who cares? I say I'm dominant. Who cares?

Because the ONLY thing that matters, and it matters ONLY if a relationship of any kind develops is this:

What are you to ME? And what am I to YOU?

 

Until there IS a relationship, you don't owe me a fucking thing, nor I, you.

Of course, I expect courtesy, but that's just true in general; it has nothing specific to do with CS. I don't expect honorifics, and I won't be calling you "young one". (Well, actually I'll NEVER call you "young one" no matter what. I'm not Gandolf, ffs.)

And how does that bit of magic - the "ONLY if a relationship of any kind develops" part - come about?

The only reliable way is through a gradual (VERY gradual) deepening of levels of trust. And that only happens over time.

If you want someone to fuck, it's the easist thing in the world, and I'm not knocking that one bit.

If you want someone who matters in your life, it takes time. It's not hard, but it's not fast, either.

Finally: Submissive women, I'll aim this part particularly at you: no one enjoys loneliness.

But, That Thing We Do frequently involves putting you in circumstances where an unstable, inexperienced, or possibly maniacal person holds your safety in his hands.

Go slow.

I have new red link on the left side the the screen which says "Saydates", and tbh, I've said "Dates" plenty of times, and it just wont go away.

I'll say it a few dozen more times, but - that's it.

When a woman's profile says "I'm into older men", and then you communicate and she says "holy FUCK - not THAT old!" -- seriously, that's the best ;)


I just can't understand why an 19 year old can't see the enormous benefit of hanging with a man who...

Well, wait a minute. Yeah, she's right.

 

Y'ever get that way?

Sometimes, I get that way.

I stg, sometimes I'll look at an 18 year old's profile, and even I say "ffs man - what is WRONG with you?"

Is this a necessary thing to say? Evidently so:

If I send you a message, I can guarantee it's not going to be "Hi." Or any single word, ffs.

And, if I do send you a message, it doesn't mean that I think we're a match or that I even wish we were a match.

99% of the time, it'll be because there was something I found interesting or noteworthy in your profile or journal, and it presented an opportunity for humor or comment.

If I have an interest beyond that - and that is extremely unlikely (not because of you; because of me) - I'll make that clear before too long.

“Poetry is what happens when nothing else can.” - Bukowski

Still here, but just not feelin' it.

No one's fault but my own, of course; but that's how it is.

Now... I'm not saying anyone is fibbing, but I really do think that the more someone claims to be "new", and "inexperienced", the more likely it is they have a dozen tattoos, each with a different name.

Do you know what "ennui" is? 

I'll bet you do, even if you don't think you do.

I am very much about relationship roles, recognition of who is dominant, who is submissive, etc.

That said, with all the trappings and at times ritualualistic behaviors invovled in What It Is That We Do, I can really understand why submissive women do think, and from time to time dare to say: "Jesus Christ, every once in a while can we just fuck?!"

My favorite:  "Please be under 50"

OK. 

I'm concentrating on being under 50 REALLY hard right now.

Did it work?

I sent a message to someone whithin whose profile was the disclaimer that, among other things, she wasn't "into" "broken bones, vomit, poo", etc.

That isn't why I sent the message; it was just something I noticed.

But, when I went to send it, the "Verification String" that you have to type in, in order to send, was "POO".

I'm not making that up.

There was, clearly, something cosmic going on; I'm sure of it.

I always appreciate directness and honesty in journals and profiles, and seriously, I'm cracking up from one that says "...over 40 don't bother - not interested in fucking grandpas". I'm not being condescending, sarcastic, or anything like that; it's just that for some reason, were someone to say that to me at a bar or party, I be just as delighted.

I've got to admit: I'm pretty partial to horrifying names.

"Good morning, whoreface", etc. 

Of course, you don't need to actually BE called "whoreface".

I'll take care of that part.

I see profiles wherein the person says she's new, and asks "please be kind".

I think I'm missing a psychological angle on this, because:

If a person is the sort of person who isn't going to be kind, you should trust me on this: that person isn't going to be kind because you asked.

If a person is the sort of person who is going to be kind, then you don't need to ask.

Now, most people would already know this, so, what I'm wondering is: when someone asks "Please be kind", is it actually just a "clever" way to invite cruelty?

 

When people talk about "fantasies", I tune out.

I'm not saying this to be some sort of dime-store, faux badass, but the fact is, I don't have fantasies: I have plans.

The absolute best thing about people who claim to be "bored" is that they self-select into the category of "People in Whom I Have No Interest."

If you're bored, trust me on this: it's not "life", it's not "the World"; it's you.

Now, what we've got here on CS is essentially a text-based system, and the inconvenient truth is that most people don't really express themselves all that well in written form. That doesn't mean they're stupid; it's simply the way that it is.

And, you might reasonably say "Well, that's not a real problem, because, in a way, that inability serves as a kind of filter or sieve, effortlessly weeding out people for whom I wouldn't be a good match."

For some of you, that's true. If you plan never to meet, never to communicate by voice, you're right. 

But, for the rest of you - those whose ive it is to have an IRL connection - you're not likely to meet for coffee and pass scraps of paper back and forth in order to get to know each other. You'll talk. And while you might guess that interesting, compelling conversationalists are also adept at written communication, it ain't necesserily so...

I've no solution to offer; it's a conundrum, no question about it.

I see a really surprising number of scenarios wherein someone says they "lost a bet" and then have to do something as a result.

Who are these people?

They say things like "Oh, I lost a bet, and now I have to fuck a car full of nuns, in an IHOP." 

Or, "Oh, I lost a bet, and now I have to order a latte at Starbucks, and tell them my name is Cunt-Faced-Whore."

Who are these people?

It's probably just me being a cantankerous old fuck (a pretty good bet, most of the time), but: the default pink text on grey background used to display the list of people who are consistent with my search ctrieria is just about unreadable.

 

I don't see a way to change that.

Unpopular (probably) Opinion:

To the degree that someone else can "train" your sub or slave, she's his.

I have heard (well, read) rumors that Profile Editing is "fixed".

Due to the tremendous volume of messages I get (this is big fat lie, of course), I'm not going to risk going back into the "profile approval process" just to test it, tough.

CollarSpace Feature Suggestion:

The ability to search Journals would be fun! A few criterion specifiers (at first) would be sufficient.

In fact, even if you just added "Search Journals for: ____________" to the main form, that'd be plenty.

 

I've mentioned that I really enjoy reading Journals.

Even - no, especially - the wildly insane, certifiable ones.

However, I see many of them (perhaps only on my screen?) as what appears to be black text on a black background. Which is to say: unreadable.

Now, at first thought, this would appear to be a pretty poor strategy on the part of the Journalist. However, because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt (yeah, sure I do), I prefer to think that it's a clever way to establish compliance on the part of any respondents; the theory being: "If someone went through the effort to highlight the text in order to make it visible, they've self-selected as my prey - mwah ha ha", etc.

 

 

The Journals are great - it's possible to fully express a thought, subject only to the limits of your proficiency with prose, phrasing, and nuance.

Messaging, however, makes all of us appear to be barely-literate throwbacks to the uneducated folk of the 1700s; punctuation stripped from what might otherwise be minor masterpieces of communication.

The result is that our writing which is addressed to the nameless void may be as polished as we please, whereas that aimed at a particular person is pretty much limited to phonetic grunts separated by spaces.

 

Well I now see that the anti-vax lunatics are positing that drinking uirine is curative or protective against covid, and, it seems to me that Collarspace is the nearly-ideal place in which that hypothesis could be tested.

Have any piss-drinkers contracted the disease?

Unfortunately, I'm a bit busy today, but I don't want to lose momentum, so do me the personal favor of thinking of this journal entry as a complaint, even though non-specific at this time.

I love reading journals and profiles.

I see people looking for love, looking for sex, looking for masters, looking for slaves, looking for tops, looking for bottoms; looking for just about anything and everything.

And, the fact is, I don't know for sure that you'll find any of that.

But I am 100% sure about this: If you are looking for full-on decompensated fucking certifiable lunatics, you should have NO trouble find that here.

I see a still-surprising number of profiles which, in summary, go something like this:

"Fuck you in advance for wasting my time, because you are all fakes and losers, and also, I'm lonely and looking for someone, so please respond, but respond pretty fucking carefully."

Communiqué from the Front Lines of the War on Christmas:

Kinda quiet, to tell the truth. 

Almost like there's no "War on Christmas".

Almost like that's just 100% horseshit.

 

Do you do this: block someone, and yet continue to view their profile?

Seems odd to me.

I suppose if you absolutely hate someone, and you block them, there is a sort of weird satisfaction you might get from viewing their profile and hating them all over again ;) ?

Of course, I don't say this out of the blue; that is what I'm experiencing right now, and I don't quite get it.

I'm not sure if automatic mail filters would account for this - I suppose that could be the case.

Anyhow, I'm not going to mention the CS user name; that would seem petulant.

Suggestion for CS Tech people:

You have routines which scan profile text and message text for "dangerous" strings of characters which might be interpreted as executable code.  This is, of course, why words such as "description" end up looking like "description" in profiles and messages. The string "" is stripped out.

Obviously, there are ways to render these strings benign, but, perhaps it's a resource thing; not enough hours or people in the day to get everything done that you want to get done.

But: a stopgap measure that I (and, I suspect, others) would appreciate would be for you to replace the risky strings with, say, underscores- at least then it would be clear what was happening, and we wouldn't all look quite so illiterate in our profiles and messages.

"De______ion" is quite a bit more understandable than "description"; still clunky, but better.


PSA:

For many, the Holidays can be a very difficult time, emotionally.

So, if you're an asshole, try being a little bit less of an asshole during this time; it's only for a few weeks, and you can get right back to being a full-on asshole in January.

After all this time, I still don't know how CS works.

Someone viewed me, and I liked what I read in her profile. I tried to send a short message, and CS said she'd blocked me.

Which, of course, is her prerogative; I don't have any issue with that. I don't understand why, but God knows I'm not universally-adored.

What I don't understand is why CS lets me see her profile, why CS lets me click to compose a message, and then waits to tell me I'm blocked at the very last moment.

 

Impact of the Passage of Time:


You'll see many women's profiles in which they assert that they "like older men".


And, what they really mean is they "like older men, but ffs not THAT old!" ;)

This "I'm not a doormat" thing is proliferating at a rate such that soon, everyone looking for a doormat is going to be pretty damned disappointed.

Proposal:

In order for a profile to remain active, you must compose and post a Journal Entry once a week. Topics to be provided. 


To what purpose, you ask? To what end?


I could answer that it would be a useful way to identify active users, and it would result in a lively exchange of thoughts and ideas in a framework which (unlike 'chat') would permit a more thoughtful and structured give and take.


But really, the main reason is much less lofty:  I just enjoy reading them, and there aren't enough to satisfy me.

Helpful pedantry:


No one "craves for" something.


You either crave something, or you can have a craving for something; but in that case, "craving" is a noun.

 

 

Maybe "you" (no one in particular) are "fake"; maybe not.

Why on Earth would I, at this point, care?

Until we've communicated, you're a collection of pixels on a screen, and so am I.

All of which is to say, for fuck's sake, everyone, stop complaining about "fakes".  It just makes you look desperate.

You *could* ask for your money back.

What? The site is free?

Hmmm... how about that.

So - people write Journal Entries, and then mark their profiles hidden.

I guess that's a thing.

Maybe they don't want any commentary; maybe they're just writing something out as a kind of purgative, cathartic process.

If that's what you do: Hey, it's your Journal; you can, and should, do whateverthefuck you want with it.

If your profile says something like "Will fill in later", it's probably a good idea to just admit that "nah, that's not going happen." *

 

 

* And, by the way, I'm totally good with that. General self-disclosure is nowhere near as useful as that which can be ascertained via actual conversation. The manner (pace, spontaneity, depth, word choice, context, etc.) in which that which is disclosed is expressed matters, too.

 

 

There sure is a lot of complaining about how "terrible" CS is, and how "everyone" is fake, and how "no one" is sincere and how generally horrible things are here.

If that's how you feel, I definitely think you should ask for refund.

I mentioned a few days ago that Dominants seemed to be, in general, a pretty crabby group.

And, when it comes to male Dominants, I think I know at least part of the reason. 

And, by this I mean, I think I know one of the reasons I'm feeling so fucking crabby.

Surprisingly, it has to do with the fact that, on the whole, men don't see colors as well as do women.

And the CS color scheme displays the list of people who match my search settings in pink over gray, and I just can't read the fucking list very well.

It looks like a lot like this:

subWithCleverName

GirlWhoAlreadyHatesMe

NoThatIsntMyPictureSoFuckYou

Which is pretty much unreadable to me.

I'm really glad CS has resumed Journals.

I do want to point out that there are at least 50 well-known, well-documented, and widely-used libraries which can safely and efficiently remove whatever j. a. v. a. s. c. r. i. p. t. or h. t. m. l. user-generated content that CS may be worried about.

In 2021, it really isn't necessary to remove punctuation.

It turns out I'm really enjoying reading journals.

I hardly look at profiles at all anymore.

Given that, when it comes to quantity and frequency of journals, I'd appreciate it if you guys could step it up a little. 

Man... as a group, Dominants are pretty grim, no?

Dour, crabby, seeming to always be angry about this or that.

On the other hand, the majority of these delightful people seem to be hooked up with someone, so, perhaps what they're evincing is actually a combination of natural disposition and screening mechanism: that is, anyone who isn't put off by display has already self-selected as the kind of person who digs that kind of thing.

As my dear, profoundly profane mom used to say "as long as they're happy."

Least favorite, dopiest word on CS: "True".

People use it as an adjective to doll-up and add weight to whatever opinion they have about the way the noun which follows it should be.

A "true" slave.

A "true" submissive

A "true" dominant.

Absolute horsesht.

Frankly, I blame Nietzsche for this crap.

 

Back when yahoo chat rooms existed, I remember seeing people dropping in and saying "I want to get fucked", and, I'd always reply, "You should try Sears Auto Repair."

So, from time to time, I'll opine on this or that, and let's be clear: opinions have all the weight and power of... well, opinions. Which is to say: almost none whatsoever.

That said, here's one: do what you want, but I have never, ever understood someone "training" a submissive or slave for someone else. Or, for that matter, a slave or submissve touting the she "is trained."

I'm not an organ grinder, looking for a trained m* to collect quarters from the crowd.

I'm unique. You're unique. What I see in you will, if we're very lucky, be different from what anyone else in the world sees in you, and what I want to elicit from you will depend on that combination of uniqueness.

More bluntly: having someone else "train" you for me, is a little like someone else chewing my food for me: nope, I'll pass on that.

 

*turns out, the word m o n k e y is not permitted.

I really enjoy profiles in which a woman says "Please be under 50 years of age".

 

I'm trying, baby - believe me; I'm trying.

Of course I appreciate that Journals are back.

 

Obligatory gripe: naturally, they're back when I'm so fucking old it's irrelevant.

 

Still, my pleasant disposition, and imperturbable equanimity remains.

Obviously.

Wait.

WHAT?!

This changes EVERYTHING.

These Video Chat "invitations", or whateverthefuck they are, are pretty batty.
I'm the first (if I'm quick enough) to admit that there is something seriously wrong with me. A case in point: if you want to appeal to me, have a truly awful, degrading nick. 

Not sure why that is, but, it's seriously funny to me to imagine waking up next to you, and saying "Oh, good morning, whoreface", etc. I leave it to psychologists to infer the degree of brain-rot which accounts for that particular predilection. 

Now, in contradistinction to that, I don't much care for profiles in which a woman refers to herself in a derogatory third-person manner, e.g,  "this cunt is looking to be used..." etc.  If there's any name-calling to be done, I want to do it. Why?  Who knows. It is what it is.


Not that I'm being inundating (I'm not), but, just to be clear: I have zero, none, no, not any interest in your nude pictures.

I'm aware that that's very important to a lot (maybe most - I don't know) men; that's not the case for me.

There are many reasons for which I hold this view, but foremost is that if you are mine, I'm extraordinarily possessive; and extremely circumspect about "sharing" you; the idea that some unknown number of men have seen what belongs to me, and have managed to do so without the slightest bit of effort or connection would bother a great deal.

(Yes, that's pretty old-school, and yes, now that you mention it, I was born sometime during the Dawn of the Age of Man.)
Without intending excessive pedantry, look: there's a difference between ignorance and stupidity. The point I'm making is that ignorance is that state in which you don't know something about something, whereas stupidity has to do with how likely you are to be able to apprehend a thought, idea, datum, etc. You can learn your way out of ignorance; stupidity, on the other hand, is unlikely to change.

(Now, the funny part of all this is - to me, anyhow - is that this entire screed was triggered by seeing the 18 millionth instance of a completely unnecessary - and incorrect - apostrophe used to indicate plurality. Nothing like overkill, right?)

I think it's pretty clear I'm feeling misanthropic tonight.


There are plenty (some say too many) "Financial Dommes" on Collarspace, and let me be clear: I have zero issue with that. Not my thing, not my interest, but, clearly, it does appeal to many, and to my mind, I'm totally good with that.

But it makes me wonder: Am I missing a money-making opportunity here? More specifically, I'm thinking maybe I could figure out a way of just making wry, sarcastic comments, and to get paid for that 
Also, a word of encouragement for un-hooked-up dominants and masters: yes, I know it's difficult, and disappointing, what with having to get your own coffee, and being reduced to using your hand to masturbate instead of a fembot, but, look at the bright side: from the rate at which it is claimed by slaves and submissives that their master just died, figure you've dodged a bullet.
I completely understand when I read a profile wherein the person says she is "using" someone else's profile.

I totally don't think that that's 100% bullshit, because, after all, it does take close 30 seconds to create her own profile, and, really, who has time for that?

I like when profiles say "Please be under 40".

Dammit, I'm trying, but, no matter what I do, I keep aging.

I'm open to suggestions. 
Christ - some of these bloviating, long-winded diatribes are so fucking absurd.

They usually come from comically self-aggrandizing dominants, and, they are so fucking tedious they make me wonder if, literally, they are a form of sadism; that perhaps these gasbags are forcing their submissives or slaves to read them as a particularly cruel form of punishment.

Look - I'm a grown man, and I'm not bragging, but I've been with a lot of women, OK?

I say that to set the context for my experience here on Collarspace: that more often than I'd like to admit, I see an extreme close-up picture on a woman's profile of... God knows what. Most of the time, it turns out to be her genitalia, but, Christ, sometimes, with camera angles and no clue as to orientation, it's just hard to be sure.
The central problem on this, and all other "dating" sites, is as follows:

You must find a way to describe yourself such that someone would want to be with you, while, at the same time, not making them suspicious as to why you are NOT with someone now.  That is: if you're such a "find", why haven't you, as yet, been "found"?

This is a non-trivial challenge.
One other tip:

I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but one thing that dominant men REALLY enjoy is being told how to read your profile; it's especially appealing when you use caps to explain how stupid the people who contact you are, and why it is they should do exactly what you tell them to do. Nothing connotes "dominance" more than a man who's appreciative of being given orders... right?
By all means, please keep posting things in black type on a purple background; opacity is such an appealing trait.
I just saw a profile which mentioned that the person was "Barley Legal". 

There's something wrong with us, as a Nation, when marijuana has been decriminalized, but you still have to worry about being arrested in some states (apparently) for simple possession of unjustifiably illegal barley.
There is an awful lot of "subtweeting" going on in journals.  You know who you are.

(See what I did there?)
Sometimes, a slave/submissive woman will state in her profile that she is trained/amenable to/enjoys watersports, golden showers, etc.; some go beyond that to include other body excreta. Which, perhaps surprisingly, isn't directly what I'm speaking to in this note. 

Instead, what catches my eye, is that some of these women say that they've had special instruction in this sort of thing, and they express it as being "fully toilet trained."

Which, of course, always causes me to first think that they no longer pee on the rug, and can, therefore, stay in the house without me having to put newspapers down on the floor.
I see profiles, new ones, where the submissive woman says something like: "I'm really new at this, so, please don't be mean."

And, when I'm feeling dickish, I think that's kind of funny, but - most of the time (believe it or not) I'm NOT feeling dickish, and to the degree that I believe the woman is sincere, I find it pretty heartbreaking to know she'll learn very quickly and abruptly that asking for kindness, compassion, and understanding here is the equivalent of dragging a chum line and asking sharks for smooches instead of bites.
One of the things I really enjoy about Collarspace (and no, I'm not making this up) is spotting profile trends. I don't go so far as to imagine vast, highly organized and synchronized Collarspace Profile Cabal, out accomplish to who-knows-what nefarious end. (Well, maybe I do, a little.)

Anyhow, the point is, trends happen. I look at submissive women's profiles, so that's what I'm familiar with.  They go through cycles: Hucows (sheesh), "secretly underage", "I'm, not a slave, I'm selling High Quality Asian Slaves", "recently lost Master to terrible disease" (and, understand, I know that tragedies and sadness are all-too-often real). Etc.  I suppose you could say that the progenitor of all such profile trends is the "I'm an American, living in (choose an African or South American nation), and I'm looking for someone to own me".

So, what I'm seeing right now, is subtle, clever, and funny.  I'm seeing a lot of "Hey, it turns out I'm not a very smart girl. In fact, I'm stupid. I barely made it through grade school. I don't know how to spell VW. I've forgotten what number to call for 911", etc. 

What's fiendishly clever about this is that it acts as a kind of selection sieve, appealing primarily to men who figure they need only to be average to look a genius to this girl. And, of course, you have to BE an idiot to even think that, so: Boom! A perfect snare!

So, kudos to whomever came up with this model.
This is basic stuff; the sort of thing that anyone who has ever experienced life should understand:

You can't demand respect; the most you can do is to deserve and accept it. If you have to ask for it, it's too late. If you have to demand it, then, unfortunately, you're probably an idiot.

You can't demand devotion; the most you can do is to deserve it and accept it. If you have to ask for it, it's too late. Etc.

You can't demand "worship".  You know the rest.

You can't proclaim your strength. If you have to do that, you're not strong.

You can't shout about your power. If you have to do that, you don't have power.

A big fucking scary lion doesn't need a sign that says "Watch out: I'm a big fucking scary lion."

Similarly, a tiny little kitten wearing a sign that says "Watch out: I'm a big fucking scary lion" is moronic.

Christ, these things are so obvious, it seems absurd that they bear repeating.
I don't judge.

Except that profile I just read where the woman is looking for a man with long toes; I kinda judge that one.
Please don't tell me your Astrological Sign; I don't believe in that.

(Besides, Geminis never shut up about it.)
The continuum of denizens here on Collarspace range from sober, thoughtful, and sincere to absolute fucking wacky goofballs. From the most authentic and yearing, to those who are clearly certifiable, or who have learned all they know from watching ludicrous films.

I have nothing but sympathy for those who are actually looking for someone here.
This should be obvious, but, perhaps it isn't:

If you have "rules" about contacting you, having to do with Treasure Hunt style searching through your profile or journals for magic words, phrases, etc., I won't be messaging you.

If you have "instructions" regarding what I must read, the depth to which I must read, and the degree of comprehension, retention, etc., I won't be messaging you.

And thus, we both win. 
I just saw a journal entry from a fellow who's looking for a woman "with big breast."

Evidently, the size of the other one doesn't matter; which, to be fair, makes his search that much easier.
I see many profiles of women looking for "smart, good-looking" Masters. 

I'm one of those. 

I'll let you figure out which.


Also - though I suspect it's just Collarspace-weirdness, I'm getting notifications indicating that someone's "viewing me", and that I have "new messages" (which is to say, those buttons on the side light up), but, no new messages when I try to read mail. 

So, either I'm suddenly popular, but with demons, spectres, ghosts, and vampires who leave no trace of their interest, or, per usual, the $20/yr that Collarspace apparently allots to site QA hasn't paid off.

All of this is to say: in the unlikely event that you tried to send me something, my lack of response, while well-within my range of misanthropy, is, in this case, unintentional.
Why on Earth a man would want a woman who's be "trained" by someone else is beyond me.  

First of all, what's mine is mine - the idea that some other jackass would have "taught" her this or that is idiotic. Perhaps I'm a jackass, too - but, whatever I am, I'm unique. The notion that some doofus would or could know what I want in woman, how I want her to behave, etc., is... foolish, in the extreme.

Second - women, believe it or not, are actually unique. Individuals. Rich, complex, and interesting, with depths and breadths which, for one belonging to me, are mine, and mine alone, to traverse.

Third, given that women are unique, and given that (surprise) men are, too, it is axiomatic that the combination of two unique individuals is, itself, also unique; and, in being so, any set of "standard" behaviors, commands, responses, protocols, etc., is just... well, fellows, if that's what you're looking for, have at it. Definitely not for  me.
The degree to which someone claims he or she is "intelligent" is inversely proportional to the probability of that being the case.

Really, claiming to be "smart", "intelligent", "brilliant", etc., is something akin to claiming to be "tall"- why bother? If you're tall, that fact will verify itself, upon meeting. If you're not... well, that'll be clear, too.

On the other hand, I suppose if you can get someone stupider than you believe you're smart, well, perhaps that is worth something. 

Never mind - I take it all back. Someone, somewhere, thinks you're a genius, just the same as you think you're a genius.

Yes, please, by all means, keep posting 100-page numbingly banal, typo-ridden, comically faux-legal "Contracts".  There is literally nothing more pleasing to the eye and intellectual palate than to have these take up page after page after page after... 

If you are bamboozling or showboating to dazzle some poor dunce, why not send it privately to that sap lucky recipient?
I've been gone for about 2 weeks, and, having returned, all I can say is "WOW! Things have REALLY changed!"

jk.  
I'm "of an age."  Which is to say "I've been around."   Which is to say, I've had a fair amount of sexuality in my life. And, given the site we're on, such a statement also implies that, frankly, I've done a lot of weird shit. 

Now, all that said, I have this to declare: after having given it a very fair, very sincere, and very lengthy amount of thought, I'm not interested in receiving any "foot-jobs." The idea of having my cock stroked by... feet... well, no.  

I understand that a lot of people really go ape-shit for this. And, I'm not judging them. (Well, I am, but, really, in this "lifestyle", we make a big deal out of not being critical of other people's kinks, so, whatever.)

But the main thing is: while it's a sad-but-true fact that nubiles aren't beating down my virtual door, IF there should come a time that the wimminz decide that I'm All That, if you have your heart and (seriously...) sole... set on stroking my you-know-what with your feet - it's just not going to happen.
"I may be an exhibitionist, but I don't really know" - text seen adjacent to fully-nude profile picture.

Yep. Possibly.
Here's something kind of fun, and, it has the happy side-effect of (mostly) getting around the CS "safety filter" regarding certain words in messages and journals.

You've probably seen people posting text that describes themselve, and they've obviously tried to use the word "descriρtion", but what you end up seeing is "deion". 

What's happened is that CS scans message text and removes any instances of the letters " "s / c / r / i / p / t".  The reason is that there are those letters (when they appear right next to each other) indicate that executable code follows. Which, in principle, could allow people to do Bad Things to you, just by you reading their messages.

That's the upside. But, the downside is you get really weird-looking "words". Like "deion".

So, how was I able, in the second paragraph (and in this one) to write "descriρtion" and not have it change into "deion"?  I cheated.  The character after the "i" and before the "t" isn't a "p". It's a "special character" that looks enough like a "p" to work. You can select it in the CS editor by clicking on the "omega" symbol: Ω.

Have fun.
Seen in Submissive Women's profiles:
"If you ask me a question I've already answered in my profile, you'll be blocked".

I can't begin to tell you how helpful this to a man like me.

You see, I'm dominant, but nothing is more appealing to me than that metallic taste of abject fear which all men feel when we navigate the treacherous path of That-Is-Already-Answered-In-My-Profile-DAMMIT probing.

There is something so satisfying, knowing that I haven't offended, ired, irked, irritated, annoyed, or miffed the darlings who so authoritatively man the gates of responses, and, with eagle eyes and dedication of purpose, verify that a would-be suitor hasn't committed a fatal blunder of that sort. It makes me feel... you know.. like I've been... well... a Good Boy. And what dominant man doesn't crave that. Right, fellas?

I guess I speak for all  dominant men when I say "Look, threatening to block us for that sort of thing, while, gratifying, and, let's face, adorable, well, it isn't enough. Do you think you could also, maybe, please, gosh, require us to beg a little to communicate with you? It'd make us feel ever so much more dominant. Thanks."
You know what's great about reaching a "certain age"?

Pretty much nothing, that's what.

Except, I suppose, that when someone says they're looking for someone "older", you can be pretty fucking sure you qualify, no matter who's doing the looking.
I see many, many women's profiles in which they make the point that they're not interested in having a first contact include a Dick Pic.

Perhaps surprisingly, I totally get this. If my first exposure (see what I did there?) to a woman is her, naked, I'm not such an angel that I'm not titillated by the prurience, but, it also is off-putting. She doesn't know me, yet she shares what I, as her potential owner, would later come to consider mine. Therefore, it's reasonable for me to assume that despite my incredible magnetism (blah blah blah) it isn't just me that she's sending this stuff to. And, to me, that's just... not what I want.

(There used to be an old joke about Joan Collins: "Q: What does Joan Collins put behind her ears to attract men? A: Her ankles."  It's kind of like that.)
Please. I'm asking you nicely: Don't tell me your astrological sign. 

(you know Scorpios don't believe in that crap, right?)
A Terrible Confession

I don't know... I guess I'm feeling that I must not be a REAL Dominant, because... well, I'm a little ashamed to admit it, but, here goes:

I don't want to chop women up, kill them, or roast them on a spit and eat them.

Additionally, I don't want to feed them only dog food, and make them live outside.

There, I've said it. 

Well, I just got an email from someone who asked if I wanted "anal", and called me "handsome".  

Sounded pretty legit, so, yeah, I guess I'm pretty much off the market.
Not a Complaint

More... well, actually, categorizing this observation isn't so easy. I'll leave at "Kind of Funny".

Many times, I'll see a submissive woman's profile, and it's just breasts. Or, what I like better, is, just a bent-over, from behind shot. So, what you see is, an anus. And, pudendum.

And the thing is, the text of the profile usually starts out with "Hi!"  

And, whenever I see that I always think that I should say "Oh, hello! Don't I know you? You look familiar..."
People here do complain about the strangest things.

"Nobody reads my profile" is a pretty popular lament.

There are several reasons that people don't read profiles. The first, and most obvious, is that in the Gaussian distribution of Assholism, let's face it, there are a lot of assholes. These people not only don't read your profile, but you don't want them to read your profile, because you don't want to be hooked up with them. So, by ignoring your profile, you can spot them right away, and, they've self-deselected from your consideration. That's a plus, not a minus.

The second reason people don't read your profile is that it isn't interesting. This is, perhaps, shocking, but research has confirmed that people tend to read that which is interesting, and, conversely, to stop reading that which is not interesting. The remedy is not colors, fonts, and decoration. The strategy is: write a profile that is likely to attract the sort of person in whom you're interested; write to your desired audience. If you're looking for high-brow intellectuals, write that way. If you're looking for salt-of-the-Earth people, write that way. If you're looking for idiots, write that way. 
Favorite New Profile/Journal Trend:

I see many submissive's profiles which now state that I may (seriously, I'm nearly too giddy with excitement to type) ask "One question - no matter how personal, sick, twisted." 

Etc.

Gosh, really?!  I have permission to ask a question?!

Well, that changes everything. Prior to this, I limited myself to messaging simple, declarative statements, and completely eschewed any form of interrogatory. 

It's hard to adequately convey the degree of gratitude I'm feeling regarding this.
NOTICE:  To Journal Writers Who Choose Pretty Colors

I am, unfortunately, still able (barely) to read some of them.  

In your quest to completely obscure your journal entries, many - perhaps most - of you are doing very well; your choices of, say, Blue on dark blue,  or whatever this is on whatever the background is  are effective. But, sometimes, I see this or this,  and if I look at it long enough, I can still read it.
Many people have difficulty with the words "lie" and "lay".  You'll frequently see someone write "I went to lay down."   And, if they're not talking about Canasta , they actually meant they went to "lie" down.  

But, when it comes to sex and relationships, it's really richly complex, because, just about any meaning, when you allow for vernacular, can work. What I mean is, strictly speaking, when you say "I was laying in bed when my spouse walked in" - 99% of the time, you mean "I was lying in bed when my spouse walking in." Except, every so often, a person does get caught during infidelity, and, sure enough, they were laying. In bed.  

Furthermore, before the spouse walked it, there's a good chance that although they were, indeed, lying in bed, they may have be... you know... lying, too.
Latest Favorite Profile Strangeness:

"The pictures aren't of me, but I look exactly like her."

But... but... if you look "exactly like her", then what, exactly, is the point of not posting a picture of yourself?
Another mea culpa:

First, let me acknowledge that I rather like that many women post pictures of themselves in their profiles.

Furthermore, I understand that you can't, for various reasons, post pictures of your face. I get that. (For example, in my case, I can't post a picture of my face, since women everywhere would likely swoon, but that's a topic for another post.)

Finally, I'm not bragging when I say I've seen a lot of women naked. I'm a bit older, and I'm not a monk, so, that's pretty reasonable. Which is to say, I know where everything is, and what it looks like.

So, here's the thing. Some of the close-ups and camera angles have utterly flummoxed me as to what the actual fuck I'm seeing. I'm not even kidding here. I'm willing to admit that it's probably my own low level of gestalt image completion, but for fuck's sake: much of the time, what I'm looking at could easily be confused with close-ups of ambiguous raw chicken parts at the market.

Now, the real problem is that I know these are frequently genitalia. My real concern here is that because I know these pictures are actually parts of women, I'll generalize the stimuli, and eventually get thrown out of Kroger's for "inappropriate" handling of poultry products. 



 
Before you complain that Collarspace "is boring" - consider the following: it is probably the case that you are boring. If you're not getting the attention you feel you "deserve", it's pretty likely that people just aren't finding you interesting. 

To be clear: there isn't some objective measure of how boring something or someone is - the venue and the inhabitants determine that. It may not be fair, given how fascinating you surely must be, but, "fairness" wasn't a designed-in feature of Reality, so - that's the way it goes, unfortunately.

And, before you jump to any conclusions about me being mean, etc. - I say these things as a man who few people (in fact, fewer and fewer) here at Collarspace find interesting, at all. Tough break for me, but, that's the way it is, and you won't see me whining about it.  

TL;DR version: It's not them. It's you. And me.
Seen in many profiles:

"All I want is someone who won't lie to me, is sincere, who will accept me as I am, and who will love me."

Really? Is that all? Christ, how hard can that be? I mean, after all, that's only the rarest thing in the world...
Very few people, male or female, are great writers. And, in fact, most people aren't even "good" writers; I'd say I expect (and really have no complaint with) "passable" writers.

But, here on Collarspace - perhaps due to the influence of surging hormones - there is a preponderance of people who seem to not fully apprehend the notion that there is such a thing as capitalization (here, I'm not speaking of the Y/you, H/he conventions - I mean the thing you do to words that begin a sentence) and punctuation. I know this is likely to come across as flagrant assholism on my part, but, seriously, some profiles and journals are nearly incomprehensible. 

And, just to fully cop to my own issues: In addition "flagrant assholism", I observe overt sexism on my part. To wit: when a woman exhibits any of this style of written expression, I tend to be pretty forgiving. Worse, in some cases, I actually think it's "cute". (wtf, right?).  But, when I see a "Dom" or "Master" write this way, my first reaction goes to wondering how a woman could possibly place her trust (and, frequently, her life) in the hands of someone who evidently can't write a meaningful paragraph. 

I suppose it just proves the adage that "there's someone for everyone".  

To be fair, I do get blocked, summarily, from time to time, and, really, it's my own fault. I'll see something in a profile, or journal, and, it's really a perfect straight line or set up for some kind of remark that I think is clever or funny, and which, from time to time, is either misinterpreted, resented, or hated. 

Whether or not I get blocked is something of a crap-shoot (andddddd... all the scat folks suddenly started paying attention...)
So, here's a thing I do; I don't imagine it matters to anyone, but, just in case:

When I contact someone, and my message is "Deleted Unread", I use the "Hide Profile" option here. Not because my "widdle feeeewings" are hurt - if anything, I actually am glad for the shortcut; if someone has no interest in communicating, I totally get that and it's perfectly fine with me. Furthermore, that way of showing "no interest" conveys to me that that's the sort of person with whom I'm unlikely to connect, anyhow - so, it's all good. 

But, the reason I hide the profile isn't some silly, passive-aggressive imaginary "punishment", but because, frequently, after a couple of months, I'll have forgotten that I once contacted the person in the first place, and I'm likely, otherwise, to do it again!
I'm the first to cop to the fact that I say a lot of snarky things about other people's profiles and journals. I think I'm just sort of a dick about it, frankly. Oh, well.

But, my new favorite thing is actually not directed at a particular person. Instead, it's that I am really praising Auto-correct, and the terrible job that it does when people are posting via their phones, and how satisfying some of the commonly-seen failures are. 

Right now, I'm particularly enjoy people who are complaining that most of the messages that they get are "obvious examples of copy pasta". 

I, too, hate when people mimic other people's pasta. 
There are few absolutes in this world, but one thing I'm 100% certain of: NO ONE from California calls it "Cali". No one.
I've been doing "this thing that we do" for a long, long time. And, I'm seeing profile pictures of women from 2003 or so. So, since I know they aren't fake, I just have to say I'm pretty impressed with how we'll these women are holding up.
A bot just asked me (in the pathognomonic argot of their species) "How do you feel about sex once?"

I answered:"Insufficiently sated."
Conjecture:

If Collarspace deleted all profiles and journals which included "True", "Fake", or "No Men", there'd be maybe 10 people left here.
I've mentioned before that I don't get the Hucow thing. That's OK, of course; I don't have to get it. Different people like different things. The way I see it, I have limits about what I'll put my dick into, and so, a consequence of that, is that there are certain criteria (a "cow" - no, I won't be fucking a cow, for example.) Again, no disrespect intended to anyone. Just talking about my way of looking at things. 

That said, I started thinking about things that might diminish my objections, and, so, naturally, I started thinking about theme music. You know, "Music to HuCow By"

"Cow Deep Is Your Love"
"Take An Udder Little Piece of My Heart"
"Dirty Teats and They're Done Dirt Cheap"
"The First Time, Heifer, I Saw Your Face"

Those would help a little, I think.
"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious." - Oscar Wilde
I see a LOT of "submissive" or "slave" profiles, from women who start out by apologizing that they don't know very much, are untrained, but are eager to learn, and that they hope people will just give them a chance, and forgive their youth, beauty, and inexperience.

Seriously.

This would be like me saying "Look, I'm really, really sorry that I'm very wealthy, own a plane that I pilot regularly, have written a couple of best-selling books, and that my dick is really quite large. I hope you won't hold any of that against me, and that you'll just give me a chance to show you what a good Master I can be."
There has been a sharp decrease in lunacy, in both profiles and journals. 

I find this disappointing, inasmuch as the primary reason I read them is for the frequently crazy-as-hell content.  And, though I don't believe in the Moon affecting sanity, I will point out that the current phase is Waning Crescent, on its way, of course, to New Moon. So, it could be that just as ER staff and cops claim that the Full Moon causes an increase in overall nuttiness, perhaps a New Moon is the sign of a minimum.
Whenever I see someone with a nick like "DisgustingFuckFaceWhore" etc., the first thought that pops into my head is "Oh! Are you by any chance related to the DisgustingFuckFaceWhores of Brentwood? My family used to spend summers with them, in Monterey, when I was a child."
So my question is: Does being named "Amanda" predispose you for a life of submission, or, do men/women who make up names/personae think that "Amanda" just sounds really submissive? Because, really, the frequency of encountering an "Amanda" here on Collarspace is about 100x the frequency of encountering an "Amanda" anywhere other than Collarspace.
I think it's great that women post naked, intimate pictures. I mean, anyone who belonging to me wouldn't do that, but, people have differing opinions on that sort of thing, and the only opinions that matter are those of whoever is in control.

That said: I think I'm pretty bad at figuring out what the hell I'm looking at, unless the camera is pulled back a bit. I can't tell you the number of times I've looked at what I thought was a colorful brooch of some kind, and then suddenly the image becomes clear and it turns out I'm looking at an extreme closeup of someone's anus with a plug in it. It's actually startling.


I've mentioned before: I read journals - a lot. 

And let me just say... these Slave Contracts. Just omfg. Some slaves must die of old age before they read the whole goddamned thing.

"The party of the first part, hereinafter referred to as the Party of the First Part, freely enters into this totally official and completely binding Slave Contract with the party of the second part, hereinafter referred to as the Party of the Second Part. This document is totally not made up, and it absolutely honored in Montana, the United States, North America, the Western Hemisphere, the Earth, the Solar System, the Milky Way Galaxy, and the Known Universe, and probably the Unknown Universe, but, being as how it's Unknown, we (the Party of the First Part, and the Party of the Second Part) can't be 100% sure. Now, where were we?..."
Observation: I don't know who's actually a lesbian and who isn't. I mean, clearly, many of the "lesbian" profiles are actually horrifyingly socially inept men who couldn't get a prom date with their cousin.

However, with that caveat, lesbians sure do doll themselves up nicely for their profile pics. 
Also:  When I see "ddlg" in a profile, I read it, but the voice in my head pronounces it "diddling".
"Please be under 50"

Believe me, if saying "please" worked, I'd be under 50.
A guide as to whether or not I want to fuck you:

  • Q: If I look at your profile, does that mean I want to fuck you?
    • A: No. That doesn't mean I want to fuck you. It means your profile was interesting.
  • Q: If I send you a message, does that mean I want to fuck you?
    • A: No. That doesn't mean I want to fuck you. It means that something about you or your profile led me to think a thing that I wanted to say.
  • Q: If we exchange a few messages, does that mean I want to fuck you?
    • A: No. That doesn't mean I want to fuck you. Some people are just interesting, and, perhaps surprisingly, I don't want or need to fuck every interesting person I talk to.
  • Q: Well then, what DOES mean I want to fuck you?
    • A: I'll tell you so. 

Hope this helps.
Things go in cycles. "Things" includes journal postings.

Right now, what seems to be pretty popular is the "Everyone here is a fake, I've had it with all the fakers, scammers, and con artists. I'm done. I'm LEAVING Collarspace" declaration.

Now, let's be honest: if you'd really had it, you wouldn't post that. You'd just stop logging on. So, really, what that post is, is a desperate and sad cry for someone to beg you to stay. 

And, really, I'm just... the nicest of men. So, on behalf of ALL of Collarspace, let me say this

"If you are fed up, and thinking of leaving Collarspace.. please, please, PLEASE don't go. I am actually sniffling and tearing up as I type this. PLEASE stay. I know things suck right now, and, really SO many people don't realize how lucky we all are that you are here on Collarspace, but, please, please, PLEASE give us all another chance. We really, really want you here. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with us lately, but, I promise, we'll do better, if only you'd stay. Please - we're begging you - don't go. Please?"


I read a lot of journal entries here. I find it relaxing, funny, macabre sometimes, interesting, etc.

Something occurred to me tonight.  Obviously, people can fetishize just about anything. I used thing that "Fin Dommes" and their "customers" were flat out crazy, but gradually, I came around to the idea that some men really do find it arousing to be bled dry and humiliated in the process. Perfectly fine with me, and, more importantly, it doesn't matter whether it's perfectly fine with me or not. Everyone gets to go to Hell in their own way, and so long as they don't get in the way of me going to Hell in my way, have at it.

So, tonight, per usual, I was marveling at the nearly-illiterate "Masters" and "Doms", who post things that look as though they were written by imbeciles, and I realized: some women must fetishize that, too. Either all these barely-literate men are lying about their "slavs" and "hores", or, there are women who find that hot, hot, hot. 

Go figure.
I'm not sure, but, I'm starting to think that a few of the absolutely gorgeous, physically fit, happy, bright, achingly lonely, highly sexual, no-limit, slaves who seek only to be loved by a strong, stern but fair Master, and who don't care how old, young, rich or poor their new Master is, and who will do anything, really anything, their new Master requires, and for the rest of their lives... may not be totally legit. It's just a feeling.
There really are a lot of nutty people here, with varying degrees of lunacy.

All of which, I actually kind of like. "Crazy" can be big or small. For example, in may case, I just can't stand the word "naughty", when used by anyone over the age of 10.

My position on this matter is irrational; I'm aware of this, but I don't care:  fuck "naughty".
Here's something I like:

English slang is in a constant state of flux, with new words, phrases, expressions arising, being tested in the "marketplace" of social media, and then either surviving or disappearing. One example is the word "deets", which, of course, is what people sometimes say as short-hand for "details"; e.g. "movie's at 630, I'll text you the deets."

Now, Collarspace, which evidently spends about $25 a year on site maintenance, is properly concerned that unscrupulous people might try to insert executable html tags in their profiles or journal entries. And, they use a kind of sledgehammer approach - crude, and effective. The main thing is, they filter out a certain sequence of characters - a word - which, when used in an html tag, indicates executable instructions follow. I can't type the word, obviously. It'll get removed. So, I have to do it with dots in the middle: s..c..r..i..p..t

So, that makes sense; it's clumsy but, it works. The reason I mention it is, that there's a funny, slangy side effect. That sequence of letters is removed everywhere. Even when they occur inside of a longer word. Which, of course, I can't type, because the letters would be removed. See, you can "describe" something. The word "describe" is a verb, and it's fine, because that sequence doesn't appear. But, when you use the noun form of the word... (hint: it rhymes with "depiction"), then, those letters get removed, and you're left with "deion".

And you've seen THAT "word" a hundred times, in profiles. So often that now, it's pretty much Collarspace slang. The cool thing is: if you ever see anyone type that in any other venue, you can be pretty sure... "yep, he/she is on Collarspace."
An uncharacteristically sarcasm-free entry:

Despite my near-constant stream of observations, typically filled with subtle or direct ridicule, I think I should point out that, from time to time (and with a frequency that is in accordance with what is usually [and ironically, in this case] called the Normal distribution) I talk to some thoughtful and truly delightful people here.
I am now noticing many more submissive profiles that lead with something like "I'm actually really wealthy. I don't need your money. I'm looking for someone to control me and humiliate me."

Well, you've come to the right place.

1) I command you to give me your money. (Check off "Control")  
2) I'll make fun of you for doing (1).   (Check off "Humiliate")

I'm ready for your bank account info.
Confession:

You know how some people like quality films, but there is a genre that they probably should feel chagrined for liking, but they watch them anyhow? 

With me, it's like this: I really enjoy reading well-written, positive, informative, witty, and useful profiles. There's no doubt about that.

But my secret delights are the profiles of submissive women who are pre-emptively angry, outraged, fed-up, and full of detailed instructions to which their would-be suitors must adhere, in order to be granted their attention.  That's like candy to me. I'm not even kidding. They're hysterical, and I love reading them.


Here's something fun - call it the "implicit" message. It's the message in the message.

For example, if I were to say "I'm looking for 300 boxes of original formulation Sudafed", the message is "I want Sudafed". But, because Sudafed is pseudoephedrine, and because pseudoephedrine can be used to cook up methamphetamine, the message in the message is; "I want to cook up some meth."

In a similar way, when you say "I'm looking for a Dominate" man, the message is that you are looking for a "dominant" man. The message in the message is: "And, either (just like me) he doesn't know the difference between a verb (dominate) and an adjective (dominant), or he thinks it's attractive that I don't know the difference."


I don't mean to brag, but, I'm pretty popular with the ladies from Ghana, who call me "dear", and also totally don't want my money. 
Here's something either funny or sad, depending on how you see it.

Sometimes, I'll see a profile, the contents of which lead me to send a comment. Typically, it's positive, though I may express the positive message in a jocular or snarky tone.

And, perhaps 25% of the time, messages such as these will be "deleted unread". Occasionally, the intended recipient will go even further, and block me.

That's not the sad or funny part.

The sad or funny part is that sometimes I get blocked without even knowing it. I mean, sometimes, my assholery is, apparently, so clear and stark that a person feels she has all she needs to know to take that step.

So, is it a Good thing or a Bad thing that my writing, journals, whatever, so correctly convey my nature, to a degree sufficient for a woman to say "Nope; not having ANY of that"?
Admission of my own shortcoming:

I realized today that I am sexist in at least this way:

If a woman tells me her astrological sign, I either ignore that she has done so, or I find a way to think it's "kind of cute" that she did so.

If a man tells me his astrological sign, I assume he's an idiot.
I love the profiles that say "Please be under 40."

I'm trying, baby -- believe me, I'm trying.
I'll just say this:

There are so many damned weird things people are into, or want to be, or want to have happen. 

AND

There are so many damned typos in what people post.

Those two facts, combined, make it so that, much of the time, I have no fucking idea whether someone really wants to be whatever the fuck a gsks3fscotzer is, or it's just that they can't type.
Disclaimer: I've got nothing, not a single thing, against whores. 

That said: there sure are a lot of whores on Collarspace, these days. 

(And by this, I don't mean the affectionate term; I talking here about the fucking-for-money term. Which, again - your body, your life, your choice.)
And, another thing:

Look, I understand (believe me...) the psychological power and impact of debasement, degradation, and so forth. I know what it is, how and when to use it.

But, women, if you describe yourself in degrading terms - if you "self-abase" - then when I, or anyone else,  uses this same kind of phrasing, I'm no longer degrading you - I'm just describing you in terms with which you already agree.  It lessens the impact. 

Of course, that's just me. I'm sure there are great geniuses who profoundly disagree...
Is there really someone who thinks "udders" is sexy?  I mean - are there men who, when they think about fucking, in general, think: well, I could arrested if I made a trip to the farm to find what I *really* want, so, next best thing is to rename women's parts as "udders"?  

I suppose there are. Me, I tend to confine my aspirations, wants, and desires to my own species. 
Why do men view profiles clearly marked as "Lesbian"?

Well, the truth is, I don't know why "men, in general" do so, but, I admit that I, occasionally do. And, I'll totally cop to the fact that it's probably irritating.

(Though, I don't really have much experience there - I think once or twice a year, some gay fellow will introduce himself to me, or otherwise show interest. It's not a big deal, but I suppose it would be, if it happened 100 times a day.)

Anyhow, for me, it's like this: I don't want, need, intend, or even entertain the idea of sleeping with everyone I talk to in this life. Sometimes a women just seems interesting, erudite, funny, intelligent, clever, etc., and I want to read both her profile and any journals she may written.  

That's pretty high-brow and lofty, so, let me also say that sometimes, a woman is just so damned pretty or otherwise visually compelling that I appreciate her for that.

Now, I know that although people can block messages from men (using Mail Controls), I don't think there's a way to block "Who's Viewing Me" notifications selectively. Collarspace, I think that's a feature people would really like. (Particularly interesting, erudite, funny, intelligent, clever, damned pretty or otherwise visually compelling lesbians.)
I'm not a particularly mean person. (Most of the time. Honest.)

But when I see a profile which proclaims "I want to be an anal slut", my first reaction is: "OK. What, exactly, is stopping you? If it helps, I'll so proclaim: Be it known to All, you are, henceforth, and for so long as you have an anus, an Anal Slut. Go forth and slut. Anally."

I see FAR more profile pictures of people with lighted candles inserted into their anuses than I would ever have anticipated. 

I can only assume that many people must find this pretty sexy. As for me, it just makes me think of singing "Happy Birthday".  But that's just me.
Occasionally, I'm asked why I'm on Collarspace. I seem to disparage people so often.  

There are several reasons, but, really, I derive so much pleasure and fun from reading the deathly-serious profiles, the outraged journals, the wailing and gnashing of teeth from the terribly-abused folks here... man, I just don't think I could give that up. 

I think the only thing I don't like are the interminably long narrative journals wherein someone describes, with a soporific level of detail, every single scintilla of either their fantasy, or what actually transpired (which, probably, is a fantasy, too).  

But, other than that, this place is filled with rich veins from which to mine delight.
Please, please, please, by all means, keep posting breathless journals about who is FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! and who isn't. Because, all the rest of your high 80s IQ brethren need this vital information. 

Good GOD, have you no self-respect whatsoever? Can you not see how humiliated you should be to admit how gullible you are in the first place? You might as well be bitterly complaining that the magic goose you bought didn't lay gold eggs after all.

I have a suggestion: how about moving a little more slowly, getting to know someone at a normal pace, and gradually developing rapport? You know, like a normal human being.

And how about taking a good look at yourself for once, and answering honestly whether the 18-year old, breathtakingly beautiful virgin, who is begging to come and live with you "forever", wash your disgusting underwear which you probably change at least once a week, cook for you, clean for you, fuck whoever and whatever you choose -- asking whether that is really very likely.

If you won't do that, then, lucky for you, I do have a goose for sale. It lays golden eggs. All it needs is money for transportation. It wants to live with you forever. And, best of all, it's a virgin.
My own special asshole-ism: If a profile makes a threat about blocking ("mention blah-blah, and I'll block you"), I feel strongly included to mention blah-blah. 

Here's my reasoning: First, I'm just contrary that way. Second, it's highly unlikely that I'd ever want to have much to do with someone so dogmatic and mentally ossified. 
Tip for the people who list all the acts, practices, gadgets, and devices they "live for":

"Things" fall in the "What" category. They are ridiculously, idiotically simple to get, simple to understand, and easy to manage.

"People" fall in the "Who" category. They are richly complex, gratifyingly rare to acquire, and require constant, but satisfying effort to maintain.

If you focus on "What", the "Who" is random, and never lasts.
If you focus on "Who", the "What" always works itself out.

Your choice.
Guys. Oh, excuse me, I mean... MASTERS and DOMINANTS... 

Look, stop complaining when a woman doesn't respond to your email. Yes, I'm sure it was superb, and she should really count herself lucky that you deigned to grace her with your attention, but - when you complain and whine and sulk about not getting a response, it really makes you look weak. 

So, to be clear: no one, not anyone, no woman here, owes you ANYTHING. Unless and until she belongs to you, you're just bits in the ether. You wrote some terribly clever note, and she ignored it? Aw... poor baby.  

If she ignored you, she did you a favor, OK? It is her prerogative to display courtesy and manners. That she chose not to saves you a LOT of time - she eliminated herself from your consideration, and you didn't have to lift an additional finger in order to find out that she's rude, disrespectful, or not interested. Great time-saver. When you complain about that, you just sound needy and stupid. Some women can deal with stupid, but, I've yet to know a woman who's looking for needy.


If you're 18, and you "prefer older men" - well... seriously: we're all older than you. 
I notice quite a bit of complaining about the Collarspace site - here, I'm speaking not of the members (who are, I'm told, all "fakes", because they won't show you their genitalia when you command them to do so; nor will they nail their pudenda to planks of wood for your amusement, even after you've told them that you are a "for real Master").

Instead, I mean problems with the site, itself: it's slow, it's frequently unavailable, pictures don't post properly, searching is tedious and inconvenient, and so on.  

And that's really hard to understand, since it's perfectly clear that Collarspace spends, easily, upwards of $20 to $30 per month on keeping this site well-maintained, with bugs corrected, new features added on a regular basis, and a user interface which eclipses anything CompuServe, or any number of private BBSs had to offer in the early 1980s.
Sometimes, I feel like I might be a little too critical of people on Collarspace. Only sometimes. And, for better or worse, I don't feel that way, today. So...

"Masters" here... what the actual fuck is going on in your turgid, breathless, little delusional minds?  Dude... you're not a "God". You're not a real-life Gorean. You're not a Ninja Warrior. You're not the Marquis de Sade. 

I'm not saying you're not dominant. Lots of us are dominant. I'm not saying you haven't tricked some girl into thinking you're all those things I mentioned above. 

What I'm saying is that you're comically delusional. Those grim faces in your profiles; that dark, brooding nonsense you've got going on. Puh-leeze. To seasonally-appropriately quote Bill Murray's character from "Scrooged": "Hey, back off, big man - that may work with the chicks, but not me."

The truth is (and, be honest, you know I'm right), the degree to which you are self-aggrandizing, the degree to which you abuse and degrade women a priori, the degree to which you strut about and proclaim your strength, is the degree to which you are self-loathing, scared, and insecure about women and femininity, and, really, about your own dominance.

But, take heart: it's not all bad news. The silver lining is that there are tons and tons of women who are willing to not mention how silly all that is, and pretend to believe you, because, really, they want to be with someone, too. Still, it's probably a good idea to, at least some day, face up to the fact that you're kidding yourself.

After all, you can still dress up like the dime-store novel inspired "Master" you think you are on Halloween.
Many (maybe most) people here on Collarspace are "fake" - and - so what? So many people wailing and gnashing teeth about it. Big deal. Maybe you should ask for your money back from Collarspace? Oh? It's free? I see.


At what point in your life did you formulate the notion, and subsequently come to believe, that Collarspace, and perhaps the world in general, owes you authenticity? In what view of the world does the burden of discernment, logic, reason, and perspicacity fall on to others, instead of yourself?  

How on Earth, then, do you tell the fake from the real? Oh, gee. I don't know. Here's a crazy idea: take time to get to know someone. Have conversations. Interact. Stop being so anxious to have orgasms in the first 2 seconds. What a terrible hardship it is, but that's how it's done.

Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
I'm not sure what the objective is when someone posts a journal complaining about how unhappy he or she is here at Collarspace, and how he or she is "about to leave."

If you are doing this, is it your expectation that someone, perhaps several other people here, will drop what they're doing, and send you a breathless message, pleading with you to stay? What thoughts inhabit your mind such that you "threaten" to leave? Why not just leave? 

Mystifying. 
So many profiles say something like "I'm just looking for some intelligent conversation".

They say this as though that's the most common thing in the world; easy to find, and encountered frequently enough such that it's surprising when it's absent.

Right.
How to impress a dominant man - make sure your profile tells me exactly how to read it, and what I'm probably doing wrong with respect to reading your profile. There is nothing more compelling and interesting than that. 
I voted.

Whether your choice carries the day or not, people died for you to exercise the right to vote. 

If you didn't vote, and then you later complain, then, frankly, you're an asshole.
There are men here who - seriously, honestly, literally - complain bitterly that they were deceived when they tried to buy a slave, and it actually turned out to be - spoiler alert - a scam. 

I'm not sure what amazes me most. That anyone would fall for the scam (and still be the sort of person able to have acquired enough money to piss away in this manner) or that having been idiotic, imbecilic and moronic enough to have been taken, and they then admit it in public.

I want to feel sorry for them. Sort of. But, what I really feel bad about is that they probably don't have any money left to give me in exchange for the three magic beans I have, which have the hard-to-believe, but totally not made-up property that if you plant them, along with a tampon, and water them with Mountain Dew (only Code Red works), they will each grow into a slave. How sad for them that they wasted their money on a stupid scam, before they talked to me.
Being a Master, if you listen to completely authentic and totally not fake slaves here, is either dangerous (a lot of them seem to die) or something like a hobby ("my Master decided to retire from the lifestyle").  

I promise, I'm never going to "retire from the lifestyle". That would be tantamount to saying I'm going to "retire from the species."  I guess that makes me awfully darn special. 
A nick which identifies as a "Domme" who is 5'7" and weighs 54 pounds just sent a message instructing me to "add" her on email. Whatever the hell that means. 

In any case, no... the probability of that happening is low enough to be indistinguishable from the probability of "never". Seriously - what kind of idiot does this?
I talk to women here on Collarspace, from time to time, and one of the experiences that they tend to share is that a first contact with a man here frequently centers on the man criticizing a woman's choice - whether it be who/what she's attracted to (height, weight, race, appearance, etc.), or some other preference. To be clear, these are women who aren't owned, who are not currently in a relationship. And, even better, these criticisms are typically harsh, profane, and demeaning.

You'd think a reasonably intelligent man would be able to put it together: that until someone belongs to someone else, then her choices, are hers. Not yours. Which is to say: men - stop being assholes about it, and deal with your pitiable insecurities in some other way. Masturbate, for example. (No, I mean even more than you already do.)
I read so many profiles of (primarily) women asking people to be nice - "I'm new; please be nice".

Here. On Collarspace. That's a like a mouse saying to a cat: "I have one broken leg, and I just walked through a bowl of gravy. Please don't eat me, OK?"
So many profiles proclaim: "I want to be a slut."  "I want to be a bimbo".  And, what is it, exactly, that's preventing you from doing so?
Many people complain bitterly when someone is rude; "deleted unread", or some other kind of blow-off. Not me. The way I see it, rude people do you a great favor: they disqualify themselves from further consideration. They save you time, and they keep you from investing effort or thought into a person not worth either. I'm good with it.
This is a period:   .   (It's on the row of keys above the space bar)
This is a comma: ,   (It's just to the left of the period)

Try using these, every so often. When you're just starting out, put them anywhere. After you've gotten into the habit, we can move on to where they actually belong.
Pro-tip: If you're a submissive woman, or, better yet, a slave, it's always a good idea to give detailed, stern commands to dominant men and masters as to how they should read your profile, and what magic words they should use. Dominant men love following orders.
There really are quite a few full-on lunatics here.
Lest there be a misunderstanding: I consider that a major plus.
I don't know if this is an achievement or not, but I had an email "deleted unread" that I'd sent to a woman literally "looking for an asshole".  Was I over-qualified?
I may have to stop being a Master - fuckers die every 15 minutes, if you read "slave" profiles. Too fucking risky. 
You say you don't "ever wear underwear."  Tip: Don't ride public transportation. And never, ever, ride a bike that isn't yours.
Few things are absolute, but I think a useful rule of thumb is: the people who say they don't want responses from "time-wasters and fakes" are time-wasters, and fakes.
Masters seem to be dying at a pretty alarming rate on this site.
What I don't understand: If you don't want to see messages from a subset which you're able to identify well enough to shout at in your profile (i.e. "NO MEN!!!", "NO PEOPLE OVER X!!!"), then why not send those to bulk, instead of shrieking about it in your profile? I rarely contact anyone, so this isn't in response to anyone or any event. But, I do read dozens of profiles every day (Why? Who knows), and it seems as though some people get quite a bit of delight from proclaiming who they don't wish to hear from. Other than you, who cares?
It's not fair - I know that - but, when I see the phrase "I'm seeking for", I'm done reading.
Some people don't "finish" their profiles. I don't complain about that; after all,  mine is quite spare. Still, when a person finds a way to have a single sentence as her entire profile, and then, manages to not finish that sentence - well, I have to admit: I'm impressed.