NeedToBeDenied

madness  

Well we all have a face that we hide away forever
And we take them out and show ourselves when everyone has gone
Some are satin some are steel some are silk and some are leather
They're the faces of the stranger but we love to try them all
We all fall in love but we disregard the danger
Though we share so many secrets there are some we never tell
Why were you so surprised that you never saw the stranger?
Did you ever let your lover see the stranger in yourself?
You may never understand how the stranger is inspired
But he isn't always evil and he is not always wrong
Though you drown in good intentions you will never quench the fire
You'll give in to your desire when the stranger comes along...
~ Billy Joel

Some love is just a lie of the heart
The core remains of what began with a passionate start
And they may not want it to end
But it will, it's just a question of when
I've lived long enough to have learned
The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned
But that won't happen to us
No, it's always been a matter of trust
I know you're an emotional girl
It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world
I can't offer you proof
But you're gonna face a moment of truth
It's hard when you're always afraid
You just recover when another belief is betrayed
So break my heart if you must
It's a matter of trust
You can't go the distance
With too much resistance
I know you have doubts
But for God's sake don't shut me out
This time you've got nothing to lose
You can take it, you can leave it, whatever you choose
I won't hold back anything
And I'll walk away a fool or a king
Some love is just a lie of the mind
It's make believe until it's only a matter of time
And some might have learned to adjust
But then it never was a matter of trust
I'm sure you're aware, love
We've both had our share of believing too long
When the whole situation was wrong
Some love is just a lie of the soul
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control
After you've heard lie upon lie
There can hardly be a question of why
Some love is just a lie of the heart
The core remains of what began with a passionate start
But that can't happen to us
It's always been a matter of trust
~Billy Joel

A heavy heart is hard to carry
My soul is tethered to the ground
This past of mine I cannot bury
It's time to pack and leave again
and run away; from town to town
Only just a moment before emptiness creeps back in
I wish my best friend was still around
Taken for granted; my heart and mind and all that's in between
I stare at my reflection and she stares right back at me
The person I see standing there I wish you could have really seen
I guess I see me differently
Could this be what is meant to be?
Cover me, save me, deliver me... just put a stop to this insanity
I try to find a reason to believe you ever wanted me
But all you ever wanted was who you wanted me to be
I know it's just my fault, and I know it's far too late
I let this monster inside of me become a living tragedy
and navigate my fate
I try to not act hastily
I can imagine the places you'd rather be
And even though I can let it go and part ways peacefully
Still, there is no peace for me
I'll live with this calamity
Such is the life of a wandering gypsy
Alone
A neverending path I roam

?Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your
strength.?

The principle behind orgasm denial is simple: the victim wants to cum, but is prevented from doing so. The more desperately she needs to cum, the more effective it is - and this becomes a torture when the Top sets about intentionally increasing the victim's need to cum, while also making very sure that she can't obtain the relief she so urgently needs. There are as many ways to do this as there are victims, as each individual has her own turn-ons and fetishes - all of which can be used to excellent effect on her to make her progressively more and more desperate for the relief of orgasm.
These may include physical things - being restrained, nipple stimulation, rubbing, kissing, licking, etc...  It may also include psychological things such as not knowing when she's eventually going to be allowed to cum - or even if. But apart from these, there is one other thing that is the most effective of all: genital teasing. No matter what else a victim is into, having her inner thighs and outer labia worked on for a long period will almost inevitably make her want to cum. And then, of course, there's her clit...
When you know what kind of action she's most susceptible to, you can use it to torture her - by repeatedly bringing her to the very edge of orgasm - and then stopping short, so that she can't. A couple of the useful side-effects of cum control are that it greatly prolongs sexual pleasure, and also it usually makes the victim's eventual orgasm (when it is finally permitted) shatteringly intense.
There is nothing I crave more than to be a torture victim like this ... encouraged to want to cum, getting hornier and hornier and building up the need for orgasm to the point where I am out of my mind with the urgent, desperate need to cum - so that it is the only thing I can think about - and then, all stimulus is removed so that it's impossible for me to get any satisfaction at all. And to have it done again, and again, and again, and again...
I hope to find someone who is unbelievably sadistic in this. who would use every single one of my turn-on's as weapons against me - and who's favourite sight is a helpless victim struggling and writhing as she desperately tries to find some way of bringing herself off, as she is left on the very brink of orgasm for the fiftieth time...

"I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be. But before you point your finger make sure your hands are clean."  ---Bob Marley