natasha0316

god, i have to go back to school soon.  where did my summer go?

People have been asking for summaries of how much experience I?ve had.  Only a couple years- it started freshman year of college, I guess as an experiment that just never stopped.  And it began so gradually I barely noticed how much it attracted me until I was enveloped in it. 

My roommate was a sub, and she was trying to get this guy on campus to be her dom.  I guess.  Sometimes I?d hang out with her in his room, and they?d always talk about it, the idea behind it, how the relationship develops? I remember being very interested, but too self-conscious to actually try it. 

But pretty soon, I started spending the night in his bed, (she?d sleep there too, on the other side.) I started walking around his apartment naked, when he told me to take off my clothes, even when there was company around.  I would feel ashamed, but excited.  Sometimes he?d hit me, or choke me, or pull my hair.  Sometimes he?d make her go down on me while he held my arms in place.  It was all consensual- I was never forced into it.  I wanted to do it.

Also, he refused to have sex with me for a very long time, even though I wanted him to, so badly.  I could feel that he wanted to, at night, lying next to me. We never even ended up having sex.

But as it got more intense I got really freaked out, and stopped going over there.

I tried to date guys who were ?normal,? but always ended up goading them into acting dominant, or alienating myself.  It hasn?t made me happy so far.

So that?s where I?m at right now, three years later, after the most exciting six months of my life.

Addittionally, I'm looking for someone roughly my own age, roughly in shape (I'm a smoker, but I excercise regularly.)  I'm not really interested in online or long distance relationships.  I'm in the mood for some real sensation.