MystressPrynces

Profiles erased from my "Who's viewing me?" List. The number after the equals sign indicates the number of profiles deleted from that area.

Massachusetts =2 (and in a row nonetheless)

California=4

New York=3

Illinois=6

North Carolina=1

Sweden=2

Ohio=2

Kansas=1

Arizona=1

Italy=1

Finland=1

Tennessee=1

Indiana (110 miles away-not local)=1

Texas=4 (two in a row)

Michigan=1

22 miles away= 1

Austria=1

Arkansas=1

Georgia=2

New Hampshire=1

Lexington=1

Washington=1

Canada=1

Pennsylvania=1

Oregon=1

Mississippi=1

Illinois wins today. But of course it is just after lunch. If you would have asked me I would have guessed California or New York view my profile the most. I've been trying to think of a game with which I could play a game based on the places/states from which my profile is viewed. If someone can think of an interesting game based on this premise, do let me know.

So am I the only one that spends more time deleting profiles from the "Who's viewing me?" list than actually talking with anyone local on here?

Am I the only one that finds it mildly amusing that "eneman" and "yourtoilet" showed up next to each other in my "Who's Viewing Me?" list?

I have a cut. I do not know how I got the cut, only that I have a cut. I know the proper procedure here: wash, dry, a little bit of antibiotic ointment, bandage, keep dry, keep clean.

I have excuses. I do not know why I have excuses, only that I have excuses. I’m in the middle of something and can’t be bothered to care for this now. Later I am in the middle of something else and can’t be bothered then either. I need to peel off the bandage and let it breathe. I need to check the progress of it healing. The cut is in an odd place, like my hand, and I am always using it like washing dishes so it doesn’t do any good to bandage the cut when the bandage will only come off in the water anyway.

I have a scab. The scab is dry and irritated. The scab is wet and irritated. The scab is in an awkward place like a knuckle and I keep bending the joint which “breaks” the scab. I pick at the scab because it is irritated. I pick at the scab because I am bored. I pick at the scab because I want to see what is under the scab.

I have an infection. I didn’t care for the cut properly or wouldn’t leave the scab alone and now it is more irritated and it is infected. I know the procedure here also: Same as for dealing with a cut (see above). I continue with the previous behaviors other than dealing with the cut.

I have an unsightly irritated sore that I won’t stop aggravating but I won’t put antibiotic ointment and a bandage on it either.

I have a heart problem. My problem is that my heart always goes out to the underdog. I have a “thing” for the ignorant, the misinformed, the weak, the unfortunate, the unlucky, the misunderstood, the damaged.

I think the underdog is like a cut. I know what to do. Move on. Run. Do not get drawn into their misfortunate or drama. Turn the cheek. Look the other way. Disregard my heart for the moment. Seeing them in their most unfortunate situation does bother me. My heart does go out to them. I do want to fix them and make things better.

In my forty plus years of life, I am just now beginning to realize there is a reason the underdog is the underdog and not the top dog. I can’t educate you. I can’t inform you. I can’t strengthen you. I am not Lady Luck or Miss Fortune. I will never understand you. I can’t fix you.

New Year’s resolution: I will take better care of myself.

When I get a cut or other wound, I will stop what I am doing and I will follow the proper procedure for healing a cut. I will stick to it for three days and allow the cut time to heal.  

When I come across the underdog, I will stop what I am doing and I will pity them for a moment. This “moment” will be all they will ever get from me. I will disregard my heart’s urges to “help” them or “fix” them and I will turn the other cheek, run like hell as fast as I can go.

I officially turned forty at the end of October! I think that officially puts me in Cougar status! Rawwwrrrr! :D

I don?t dislike humanity. I just have a distaste for what people have done to it. Please forgive me if I appear misanthropic.

GREY

My favorite color is purple. Purple has long been noted as the color of royalty and it appeals to my ?Pryncessness?. I also like pink, black, and teal or turquoise. Red is a nice color, the color of blood. Green is nice as it often represents growth and new beginnings. Autumn is in full bloom here in my old Kentucky home and I love autumn with her shades or yellow and orange. This is my favorite time of year, sweater weather. I rather enjoy the cold crisp mornings where wearing fuzzy socks is mandatory and the colder nights by a sparkling, popping fire with someone you love and trust. I even like picking out the colors in a fire, the hues of blue, orange and yellow against the brown logs proves to free my mind and calm my spirit. I suppose upon contemplating the issue, there really isn?t a color I don?t particularly like, except for grey.

I have never heard anyone ever say their favorite color is grey but I am convinced that it is most people?s favorite color. For the most part, I think people tend to live their lives in shades of grey. I find I am more of a black and white type of person. I find grey annoying at best and destructive at worst.

I think something either IS or it ISN?T. Something is either black OR white. There is no in between with me. Grey disguises the problem and is never part of the solution. Grey is the justification for one?s actions and never gets at the root of the problem or the actions themselves. People paint their entire lives in shades of grey and never realize the more brilliant or beautiful colors. One can?t escape from grey and I think that is what bothers me the most; People are or become perfectly happy living in grey.

If you are asked a question that requires a yes or no answer and you avoid using either of those two words, this is an indication that you are living in grey. If you manage to actually form and use a ?Yes? or ?No? but then it is immediately followed by a ?but? is another indication you are living in grey. Perhaps if people spent more time thinking about their actions rather than justifying them, there would be less grey in the world.

I have heard the saying ?It is easier to ask forgiveness that to ask permission.? Although I think this was derived from a business model, I think many people live their lives by this statement. However, when their decisions go badly for them, they want to diffuse the responsibility of their decisions and actions. People prefer to return to grey and blame others or environmental circumstances rather than taking responsibility for what they have (or have not) done. Most problems are created because someone didn?t ask permission First, in my opinion. Permission is often not asked first because the person already knows the answer before asking the question and most likely doesn?t like the answer so omits to ask. If permission isn?t asked, the person CAN surround themselves with grey when it is time to take responsibility for their decision. ?I didn?t know,? seldom works as an excuse with me because I am usually available to ask if there is any doubt.

We all played this game as a kid. It is a simple and ineffective ?twist the words? game. Unfortunately, for some, they never grow out of this game. For example, a mother tells a child they can?t have a cookie because it is almost dinner time. The child finds some chips in the pantry and begins munching on them. When caught with the chips the child states, ?You said I couldn?t have a cookie but you didn?t say I couldn?t have chips.?  The child knew the true intention of the parent for the child to wait for dinner and not to consume anything. The child already knew the answer to the question, ?Well then can I have some chips instead of a cookie?? Therefore, the child neglected to ask permission. The child returns to the grey area by justifying their actions with an ?I didn?t know? attitude as a way to dodge responsibility for their actions.

So while I am not an advocate of ?It is easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission?, I am a big fan of the saying ?Every time you point a finger at someone else, there are four more fingers pointing back at yourself.? Something about living in grey keeps you from seeing these other four fingers pointing back.

Another saying is ?No man is an island,? and this is unfortunately so. I try to keep my life and myself as an island. I am Scorpio and let few, a very select few, a part of my life. I have few friends but the friends I have are always out for MY best interests as I am for theirs. I don?t take friendship lightly and keep acquaintances at a distance as I prefer to spend my time with true friends. Because no man is an island, however, there are times and periods in life that other?s decisions have an effect on me. I despise being in this situation as few are able to prove dependable and usually fall short, very short, of expectations and their word.  Those that have proven dependable and trustworthy do earn the title of ?friend? but friendship is not an easy destination with me and the road is not a grey one. However, those who have made it to destination friendship with me tell me it is worth the journey. I like to think I make my friends better people; likewise, they make me a better person.

None of my friends are grey. I won?t surround myself with grey. I think better of me than to live with grey where there is no right or wrong and so much time is spent encircling the same issues while never getting to the core problem, solving, or accomplishing anything. Only when you begin to see in black and white can you acknowledge, accept, and progress from a situation to find other colors such as purple, yellow, blue, red and green. So this autumn, while I will be enjoying all the reds, oranges, greens, and yellows of the falling leaves, enjoy your insecure, unsure, shadowy world of grey.

I think one of the problems among the general population is that few people introspect. We, as a society, are bombarded with images from the media that tell us what it means to be happy and that if we don?t have certain things, we need to get those things in order to be happy. American?s spend way too much time chasing things that they THINK will make them happy, and spend little time actually thinkING about what would make them happy. 

Perhaps another area where few people put much thought is the submissive, bottom, slave issue. These three terms appear all over this website but mean different things to different people. I had someone tell me before that he labeled himself a slave simply because he had experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I had a dominant tell me that he listed he wanted a slave because he didn?t want someone to feel like they could compete with his already submissive wife in terms of his affections. So while these terms mean different things to different people, allow me to define these terms as they are relevant to ME.

Allow me to start at the bottom (pun intended). A bottom is someone that enjoys fetishes of the BDSM lifestyle and is willing to participate in the receiving end of these fetishes in order to have their interest satisfied. There isn?t a D/s commitment between the giver, doer, top, dominant (pick your term of choice here) and the receiver or Bottom. A prime example of this is a masochist that bottoms for the sadist. The two meet, do their thing, then part ways. I have friends that commonly call this type of behavior ?vanilla kink?. In my opinion, this isn?t D/s in any way because the Bottom has all the power. A bottom can set the scene, say what they will and will not do and ultimately, if there is no compromise reached in the negotiations, the bottom can simply walk away because of the lack of commitment. To me, the bottom isn?t genuinely SUBMITTING anything other than consent to have their desires fulfilled in the way they dictate. Also, in my opinion, the majority of ?submissives? are actually bottoms and only want to give up control of their lives in as so far as they are seeking to fulfill their fetish. I receive dozens of messages a day stating how someone wants to lick my boots or wants me to perform CBT on them or some other fetish of THEIRS simply because I have it listed as an interest on my profile. Personally, I get nothing out of topping or ?Dominating? anyone in this manner. I don?t discriminate against those who do ?get off? on beating someone for the pleasure of simply beating someone but I simply do not feel this way. The tragedy is that to the best of my knowledge, there is no ?Vanilla Kink? or top/bottom website so all those interested in a particular fetish come to a BDSM website because there is no where else to search for a top or bottom in which to fill that fetish.

A slave is someone that has or wants very little to no influence in the relationship. A slave thrives on giving up all control in a relationship and performs simply at their dominant?s command. A slave enjoys being treated as property and simply having expectations set before them and meeting those expectations. They primarily thrive on routine, knowing what is expected and meeting those expectations to the best of their ability. When a dominant makes a decision, the decision will be made in regards to what is best for the dominant with little or no regard as to the slave?s desires. For example, if a dominant stands to receive an employment promotion and the job involves moving to another part of the country, the dominant will not give regard to how this decision affects the slave. The dominant may decide that he/she doesn?t want the job because he/she doesn?t want to move that far away from his family or that he/she doesn?t like cold/hot weather or his/her money received for the promotion will not compensate for increased the cost of living in that part of the country. The dominant will not, however, make his/her determination based on how far away the slave will be from their family or how this will affect the slave?s career. The exception to this is that the dominant may consider the health aspects of the slave in regards to the decision to move. If the slave has arthritis, for example, the dominant will probably not move to Michigan or Chicago because cold weather would be a detriment to the slave?s wellbeing.  Other than the expectation that a slave?s safety and wellbeing are of a concern to the dominant, the dominant has the ultimate power in the relationship and the dominant?s word is the only word and final word. In my opinion, a slave is the most extreme form of D/s; a total power exchange.  

In the gray area between the slave and the bottom lies the definition of a submissive. Usually because there is some form of relationship or commitment between the dominant and submissive, a submissive relinquishes more control over to the dominant than simply being a bottom. However, a submissive has more clout in the relationship than does the slave. In the above given example, the dominant may very well make his decision to accept a promotion that would involve a move based not on the submissive, but on how the move will affect the relationship overall. While the move might be what is best for the dominant, the move might not be the best for the submissive. The dominant must weigh the pros and cons and then make the decision based on what is best for everyone involved. In this situation, the dominant might make more money but if the submissive has a close relationship with its family, the possibility of depression from having to move away from them could take a toll on the overall relationship. The amount of control given over to the dominant is not an all or nothing amount. The amount of control is determined by the dominant and the submissive that are in the relationship. Some dominants prefer to choose the clothing that their submissives wear or the company that their submissives keep. Some submissives prefer to choose their own clothing and friends. In a D/s relationship, being a submissive is doesn?t have a clear definition such as in the terms bottom and slave. A submissive and their dominant have to negotiate which aspects of the submissives? life in which the dominant will control.

The Prodigal Son.

I went to the local munch last night. A submissive approached me and asked me some questions in an attempt, in my opinion, to become my submissive. I get approached like this all the time on Collar Me but to have it happen in person is somewhat of a different experience face to face. At one point he said he would fetch my coffee but didn?t want to be thanked, he wanted to be humiliated instead. I told him that would be difficult for me as I like to think of myself as a genuinely nice person and usually try to say ?Please? and ?Thank you.? I could see some disappointment in his face but he was good in saying, ?Well I won?t try to change you.? I guess growing up on the Mason Dixon line, I learned a few southern manners and I think I would like to try to keep them.

He also asked me if I was strict and stern. That is a difficult question for me to answer. I told him that I like to laugh and play and have fun but there is a time and place for everything. I think it is a common perception for submissives to think that Mistresses are some cold heartless unfeeling bitches but that just isn?t my personality. Or is it?

I had a submissive with me last weekend. We haven?t known each other very long but we have this connection to one another and so many common interests. He plays the guitar. All chicks like a guy that rides a motorcycle and plays the guitar. He doesn?t claim to have toured with Def Leppard or anything (that one is for you Shaide) but just seeing a guy pecking away behind the strings makes him seem so vulnerable. The big bad ass biker with the soft sensitive side, what?s not to like?

Like so many submissives, it seems he loves being submissive as long as his will is concurrent with own. However, the difficult part of being a submissive is when their will is not of the same opinion with that of their Master or Mistress. He was given instructions but made choices that were not congruent with my instructions. Thus, due to his choices, he was unable to come back to see me this weekend. I have pretty much dismissed him altogether telling him that he isn?t very submissive if he isn?t going to do what I tell him to when the relationship is in this stage. This is always my favorite stage of any relationship where you don?t know each other and you feel like the other person ?gets? you. You have so much to talk about because you don?t know each other and everything seems so perfect. If he can?t do what I ask when I am the perfect Mistress in his eyes, before he discovers my faults, then how can he be submissive to me when my human qualities start to show through?

I have received message after message from him with apologies and begging (who doesn?t like begging?) for forgiveness and how he misses me and he feels so alone without me. It is in this moment that I realize he IS experiencing one of my faults, the lack of forgiveness and mercy.

I know I set high expectations. To his defense, he had no trouble with making my bed the way I like it and even complimented me on how I choose to have my bed made calling it ?practical?. He said that he wants to start making his bed the same way (as if he ever makes his bed-maybe when he changes his sheets assuming he changes them.) I love it when they soak up everything you say and already start changing things in their daily lives to fit your lifestyle, another favorite part of this stage in a relationship.

Lord Shaide says you can only expect 80% from a submissive as compared to anyone else. ?Eighty percent is the new 100% when it comes to a submissive. If you get 80% of what you want from a submissive, then you are doing pretty good as a dominant.?I guess perhaps the reason I set such high expectations for a submissive is because I know Lord Shaide is right (do you know how hard it is living with someone that is right ALL the time???It isn?t easy I tell you.). If I set my standards and expectations so high, and I get 80% of that, then I have a pretty damn good submissive. All I ask from a submissive is his/her 100% but if that is the equivalent of 80% of what I expect from my dominant friends, I would have to say that I probably got that from my experience with this submissive which is more that I usually get from a sub.

So my predicament is because he disobeyed me this one time, do I dismiss him and move on? How strict and stern am I? Do I end this relationship with someone just because he isn?t perfect? I told this sub that this isn?t the story of the prodigal son. I always sympathized with the other brother anyway. Why should the stupid son that just HAD to go out on his own way and squander his portion of his dad?s hard earned money get this huge party just because he came to his senses? No one ever threw a party for the good son that stayed home and tended to his dad?s needs. I understand that the good son enjoyed the feast and bounty of living with his father all along and I guess in a sense that is in and of itself appreciation for sticking around and not being stupid.

Do I have the ability to forgive? More importantly, do I have the ability to forget? ?No forgiveness without retribution,? means that once punishment has been served everything goes back to ground zero. I have been burned and hurt so many times in these 29ish years of life, I am always waiting for the wrecking ball to drop AGAIN after one indiscretion. I go on as before, and say that I forgive but I wait for it like one waits anxiously for Christmas or the three day weekend of Labor Day. I never truly forget. So do I really forgive if I don?t forget it and am just waiting for ?the next time??

I think that retribution isn?t just for the submissive to learn their lesson and correct their behavior. Retribution is also a form of justice for the dominant. It is a way for the dominant to find forgiveness AND forget that the indiscretion has occurred. I personally have much trouble with the forgetting part. I truly lack mercy. I realize there isn?t any forgiveness without letting go of the occurrence. I am just not sure I have the ability to not hold on to the incident after a punishment. I want to try. I want to try true forgiveness and let go of this. It isn?t right for me to expect perfection and try to correct behaviors and thinking then dwell on the fact that you aren?t perfect and offer you no mercy.

You WERE a GOOD boy! One problem doesn?t make you a bad boy and I will work on not holding your imperfections against you. I still sympathize with the good brother over the prodigal son. Don?t expect some big party, a feast, and a colorful warm coat. You WILL have to pay retribution, not just for your behaviors, but also for me to find a place of justice and forgiveness. However, you do have a warm safe place to go and you don?t have to wish for pig food to fill your stomach. (You know we always eat well around here even if you are the one having to cook it.) I can?t promise I won?t always hold this against you but I CAN promise to give MY 100% effort at forgiveness and mercy. Come home, boy. Mommy misses you.

 As we all moved into adulthood, there is very likely some role model with whom we have identified, admired, and looked to for inspiration in difficult times. This person might be a parent, a former teacher, a sports coach, a religious leader, a political leader (whom of us doesn?t admire that crap that Bill Clinton ?got away with?), or perhaps even an actor or actress whom we have always admired and have looked to for inspiration over the years. Today is the day that I have discovered my idol and role model as the supreme dominant. At the risk of dating myself here, My ultimate role model for dominance is none other than Homey D Clown.

For those of later generation than myself, and even for those who truly remember Homey D Clown, I encourage you to revisit some of his skits from ?In Living Color? on youtube. I spent part of my day doing this very task. I watched, and of course laughed, as Homey would bop children and adults alike over the head and remind them that ?Homey don?t play dat.? Once, Homey fell in love in the episode ?When Homey Met Sally? and he even began to change his ways. Ultimately, Homey found he was only true to himself in the end and couldn?t even sell out in the name of love. I really identified with Homey in this episode as love has often changed me only to be flighty and fickle.

I think what I like the most about Homey is that no matter where he is or what he is doing that he is still the same disrespected, bitter, jaded, downtrodden person. He would just as soon hit a child on the head with his sock as he had his girlfriend or meaningless passersby. Homey tells us like it is from his point of view and accepts no other points of view because, in all honesty, no other points of view matter to him.

I received a message from a sub back in December. I was not interested. I did not reply. I received a message from said sub in January. I was not interested. I did not reply. Again in March I received another message from said sub. Still not interested, I did not reply. Sub messages me yesterday and states that he has read my updated profile and journal writing and sees that I have moved closer and wants to know if he can serve me now. I think the thing that impressed me the most is that the sub recognized that he has indeed messaged me before. Most subs don?t recognize that they have messaged me before so it appeared he was at least interested in me enough to know he had messaged me. I said simply, ?Send me a picture.? Thus, the topping me from the bottom began.

I get the regular message how he doesn?t have a picture on his computer but would be happy to webcam with me to validate his identity. I ignore the message. I receive a message this morning asking if I got the previous message. I stated I did get the message and that I am waiting on the picture. I get excuses. I have to task segmentate and explain that everyone in this day and age has a digital camera or knows someone with a camera. Every cell phone made now has a camera or again, he certainly has a friend with a camera on his phone that can take the picture and email it to him and he can then forward it to me. In addition, most webcams have an option to take a still picture from the cam. Even after the task segmentation I continue to get messages about how he wants to do things HIS way with, ?I don?t have to talk to you on yahoo but I can just webcam for you to validate my id.? I don?t think so. Pryncess don?t play dat!

I have never had a lengthy relationship with a submissive. Hell, I have never even collared a submissive because a collar is a big freaking deal to me and I don?t want to be responsible for someone I barely know. So I am the first to admit that I don?t always know EVERYTHING I expect from a submissive as there are many situations in which I have not yet been and therefore I don?t know what I expect from a submissive in those situations. However, the things I DO know that I expect, I KNOW what I expect. I expect my bed to be made a certain way. I expect my house to be cleaned to a certain standard of expectations. I expect that when I say I want the dishes done by the time I get home, that the dishes be done when I get home. I expect that when I show you the proper way to make tea for me that you make it the way I tell you I want it made and NOT to argue with me over if you boil the water first then put in the tea bags or of you put the tea bags in before the water boils (boil the water first then add the tea bags, by the way). I expect that when I tell you to crush eggshells that you focus your efforts on crushing them rather than THINKING of why I would want eggshells crushed or what I am going to do with crushed eggshells.

Most times I don?t want you to THINK at all. Isn?t that he POINT of submission? I thought the point of submission was to turn over the decision making processes to the dominant in an effort for things to be done in such a way that pleases the dominant. If you want to argue with me then perhaps you should introspect about your submission. Perhaps, further still, you are not submissive at all but only a fetishist that is only willing to do what it takes so that you can get your dominant?s attention long enough to lick her boots, have her put in an anal plug, or tie and bind you. If your focus in D/s is like a flow chart (If this: then that) with ?if I do this for her, then maybe she will do that for me,? then I don?t want or need your (so called) submission. If this is how you think, then I have news for you: You are not a submissive; You are a bottom. Pryncess don?t play dat!

Recognize that when you Tell me or argue with me on how things are to be done to please me, you are topping from the bottom. I may not know a lot of what I expect in certain situations but I DO KNOW what pleases ME. My New Years resolution this year was to accept no more excuses. If you can?t complete a simple task such as sending me a picture of yourself, even after I break that simple task down for you and tell you how to do it, and all I get in return are excuses, then I seriously doubt you CAN do other, more important tasks, for me such as making my bed or my tea. Like Homey, I don?t care if your camera batteries are dead and you must need to get new ones because suddenly the batteries you have won?t charge, or you can?t get me a picture because you prefer to argue with me on HOW (you think) I should expect to see you such as on cam as opposed to the picture I requested. If you want to top from the bottom online, do you think I am going to want to ?work? with in person. I don?t think so!

I recognize that I am not yet midway though the year but I think I am doing much better this year about sticking to my resolution of ?no excuses?. I think that at this point I would like to add an additional resolution and allow this to serve as a warning to anyone that is reading, or SHOULD be reading this (ie, you are interested in me as a domme). I hereby now declare that I will no longer be accepting topping from the bottom. In short, it is MY way or. . .  well, actually there is no OR anything. There will be no compromises, no bargaining, no arguing, no telling me how I am not doing it ?right?, and no topping from the bottom at all. Pryncess don?t play dat!

In conclusion, I have learned something from my role model, Homey D Clown, today. I have learned that I no longer want your point of view as I am perfectly happy with my own point of view and my way of doing things. It is fine with me that if by making the above statement you see me as nothing more than a clown with a big red nose, oversized shoes, and outrageous wig. While all that may be true, I am also the one with the big smile painted across my face toting a stuffed sock bopping those with opposing views in the head. *Scurries off to sift through sock drawer to find sock to bop others on the head.

             Pryncess and the Puppy

One can find inspiration in the strangest of places. I was traveling home from work the other day and on the side of the road I saw a couple of vehicles. A middle aged man was kneeling down while three young women stood behind him. Their arms were crossed and they all were looking impatiently down at him as he was changing their tire.

This reminded me of a conversation I had with Tatsuo the other evening. He was telling me that there are quite a few dommes on here that appear to be very good for him but it seems that they are not accepting male submissives but are looking for female submissives.

I then began telling Tatsuo about Mary Catherine. Mary Catherine was a dominant that I met when yahoo user rooms were very popular. I met her in a dominant woman?s chat room. Her story was that she was a call girl putting herself through college. She had a coworker that asked her to go on a call with her one night and the scene was BDSM related. That was Mary Catherine?s first exposure to BDSM and she rather enjoyed it. She began doing more BDSM work as a mistress and moved into pro domination to support herself through college. Upon graduation, she was going to stop pro domination in an effort to pursue a career more related to her degree. A client of hers begged her to not leave him. He came from old money and a marriage was arranged between the two in an effort to get her to not leave him.

While Mary Catherine spent her time leisurely and attempted to get all her husband?s assets in her name, he lived his life caged or dressed as her sissy maid serving her and her girlfriend out by the pool. 

Yahoo user rooms got shut down and I lost touch with Mary Catherine. Although I had her on my yahoo list, I haven?t talked to her in years. Much to my surprise, she unexpectedly came online the other day and I inquired as to her present circumstances. She stated that that she has moved to Canada with her long time girlfriend. I asked her what happened to the husband. She said that she took everything financially that she could from him, divorced him, and gave him away.

At this point, I asked Mary Catherine why she would ever get rid of the poor sap when all he ever wanted was to serve her. Mary Catherine?s answer was simple and honest. ?He took too much energy.?

Men do not seem to understand how much energy and effort they require. Mistresses had much rather deal with a submissive woman that can offer friendship, emotional support, affection, and service without as much effort.

I myself have a girl and she is so effortless. When I am happy, she is happy. I don?t have to instruct her on every little move to make and by being a woman; she understands my moods, feelings, and needs almost instinctively. I don?t have to keep her in a cage or in a chastity device or keep her on maintenance beatings to get a positive response from her.

In addition, there is another girl sub with whom I am communicating and I feel pretty positive about her as well. Girl submissives want to serve and require little else. Girl submissives are tired of lying male Doms that tend to change the rules to suit their (usually sexual) whims. Girl submissives understand service, devotion and loyalty and are not sexually driven by their own needs such as many male submissives tend to be.

If one peers at all at Elise Sutton?s site, one soon begins to realize that the male is becoming extinct. Elise Sutton has many articles on her site that are written by various authors who discuss everything from the fact that more and more females are going to college while fewer and fewer males are receiving college degrees. A woman is forced to not marry or marry ?beneath? herself in order to find a mate. Other articles discuss how women are pioneering ahead in business due to their intuitiveness and attention to detail. Men are no longer even needed for sexual reproduction as a woman can go to a bank and buy the sperm of a suitable donor and become impregnated without ever having sex with a male. Men, you are the only one impressed with your dicks.

Men are quickly becoming unneeded and to some, according to my conversation with Tatsuo, unwanted.

MrGod and I got into a similar conversation the other night. He said that his thoughts were that every male should go to the military for at least two years and he felt like every woman should learn a trade. Mainly he thought a woman should learn a trade because he thought there was nothing sexier than a woman covered in grease looking under a car hood but I guess even MrGod falls victim to thinking with his penis on occasion. Despite his fantasies about women mechanics, he really is on to something that the rest of us should grasp and I think more and more women ARE grasping. The more we women learn and do for ourselves, the less men are actually needed and wanted.

Men, as a general rule, can?t get past their egos. That is why I love a submissive male. A submissive male knows and understands he is a complete victim of his sex organ and wants desperately to try to change but realizes, as a victim, he is powerless without a domme?s guidance and instruction. However, what he usually does not realize is the incredible amount of effort required to make him into the man he wants and needs to be.

I had my own birthday party (Yes, I turned 29 this year. . .  AGAIN) with my girl this weekend and I actually kissed her for the first time. It was pretty intense and satisfying. Kissing her has been something I have been debating for quite a while. I told an online friend that I finally made the decision and did it and he congratulated me that I was ½ way there to bisexuality. I think I am closer to being ½ way to lesbianism actually. I myself have to admit that there is more than one joke that passes between me and my girl about how all I need to do now is order that purple dildo online. For approximately $90, I can buy my own dick and completely eliminate men from my own life. I keep thinking of the time and energy I would save myself if I completely make the transition.

Three young women and one middle aged gent on the side of the road. Why is he changing their tire? Is it because he is just a nice guy and thinks he has stopped to assist three helpless women who had an unfortunate mishap with their vehicle? Or perhaps he realizes manual, menial labor is his only use to a woman and he has the need to feel useful and wanted.

No Games. . .  Must Be Real. . .

I read these words most often on the profiles of others. I sometimes sit back and contemplate the alternatives.

First I think I will address the ?Real? part. I pretty much figure if you are on Collarme and reading profiles that you are ?Real?. What is ?Real?? I remember that when something extraordinary happens people sometimes say, ?Pinch me; I must be dreaming.? I think that is pretty much the ultimate test of ?Real?ity. So when I read ?Must be real?. I am often enticed to pinch myself just to see if I am real. I think if I pinch myself and it hurts then I am probably ?Real?. I assure you that I have indeed pinched myself on occasion and it did indeed hurt. (Ok, admittedly I liked it a little but maybe I have a touch of masochism or maybe it just elevated my senses or alleviated boredom.)

What is the alternative to ?Real?? I looked this up in my thesaurus and the antonyms are ?False? and ?Dishonest?. I have talked to submissives on here that state they have added Dommes to their messenger lists to have the Domme pop up in her own little box and demand money from the submissive to prove themselves. I am not sure what that proves other than the sub has money to give away. I have heard from subs that if he chooses to not send the Domme money then she will tell him, ?I knew you weren?t real,? and then disappear as quickly as she appeared. (That sort of makes those Dommes sound more like witches how quickly they appear and disappear.) My question is if she knew all along that the sub wasn?t ?Real?, then why was she taking his ?Real? money?

Maybe when someone is looking for someone ?Real? they are using ?Real? in the sense of Honest, Genuine, and Sincere. I just always think that is funny considering all the messages I get stating that the sub wants to be MINE but wants to be trained ONLINE. To me there is nothing ?Real? about online play. The internet can be a useful tool to get to know someone and share experiences but I have no interest in watching you stick things up your own butt on webcam. If others are into that, I don?t discredit them for that but that is not my thing. I think I am ?Real?. I have real hands and real hair and real breasts and real feet and actually I have REAL emotions as well. I am not some play thing for your online amusement. There is very little that is ?Real? about the internet or playing online.

Secondly, I would like to address the issue of ?No Games?. Are you kidding me??? BDSM is ALL about the GAMES! In my opinion it is a way to make daily life more exciting and thrilling. I had much rather tell my boy to get up and go clean the bathroom but we make a game out of it. When he has been a good boy I will don my corset and strap-on and tease him while he cleans the bathroom. This conditions him to get aroused by doing the humdrum chores for me. Let?s face it; no one LIKES to clean the bathroom (or any other room for that matter). By making a game of it, cleaning becomes more enticing and exciting and I ultimately get what I want which is a clean bathroom.  

If you take the Games out of BDSM then what do you have left? My fear is the answer is ?Vanilla?. (*Shutters) If you are looking for a vanilla relationship, then why are you here on CM in the first place? Oh yeah, that is right. . .  I remember now. . .  you came here to find someone online to tell you to stick things up your butt so YOU could get off and play on cam.  Turns out, that isn?t very submissive at all. Maybe you SHOULD be handing over your money to an Online Domme.

This whole scenario is actually very sad to me in a way. Instead of finding an online Domme and wanking, they could use that time productively actually searching for someone that could ?Really? change their life. It is easier to play the game when you make up the rules I suppose. I would like to think that it is More Fun to play My games by My rules. --Pryncess

I remember this joke from a friend a long long time ago. It is curious that it should surface in my mind now:

Pryncess was taking a leisurely walk by the lake when a frog began talking to her. Once she got over the initial shock she came closer to hear what the frog had to say. The frog urged her to kiss him. The frog told the Pryncess, ?Oh Pryncess, do come and kiss me. If you kiss me I will turn into the most handsome Prince. Then we can be married and make passionate love all night long. You can bare my children and raise them. You can assist me in donning my armor before I go to battle for months at a time. Upon my return you can cook my meals and cater to my every need. Come my dear, come kiss me and make all our dreams come true.?

The Pryncess smiled and scooped up the frog in her hands. She held him close and looked deep into his eyes.

?Kiss you and make our dreams come true?? questioned the Pryncess.

Later in the evening, as Pryncess dined on an elegant meal of frog legs as she said, ?Kiss you? I don?t think so.?

Fetch me my coffee please. . .

No, this Journal Entry is not about coffee. However, there is much to be said about a good cup of coffee. A submissive can be compared to a good cup of coffee in that he shouldn?t be too strong or too weak (personality wise), he should have just the right amount of sugar and cream, and he shouldn?t be too hot or too cold. I suppose though the same can be said for a Dominant as well.

I suppose like most dominants on this site, I am looking for the submissive that can mesh into my life with the characteristics which I most admire and desire in a submissive. On Castle Realm, there is an article about ?Seven Characteristics of a submissive?. Castle Realm lists the seven characteristics as follows: Honesty, Submissiveness, Intelligence, Service, Communication, Self Respect, and Patience. Personally I feel that everyone has a pretty good grasp of what these terms mean and I won?t go into definitions on these characteristics.

Recently I have been talking to a few submissives that seem to have the traits and characteristics for which I am looking, mainly those characteristics listed above. Upon further introspection and due to recent play mates, I have come to determine more about that which I seek in a D/s relationship.

What is submission? Submission is defined by Encarta as follows: a willingness to yield or surrender to somebody, or the act of doing so. Because submission is an ?act?, it is not something that can be identified by sight or smell or any of the other five senses. This is unfortunate really. I wish submission had a certain color, shape, weight, smell, or even taste so that it could easily be recognized. How easy this would make our search as dominants. We could look over someone?s profile and say ?Oh, there it is, in the background, just over that person?s head and to the left in their picture?.

Better yet, when a sub came to meet me for the first time, he could just wrap up his submission in a little box with purple wrapping paper and put a big pink bow on it and say, ?Here Pryncess, here is my submission for you.? Then I could open the box, look at his submission and see if it meets my specifications. I could send him away immediately if it didn?t suit me or pet his head (or slap his face, which ever was most appropriate for that sub.) and say ?Oh my yes! This one will do nicely?.

Alas, submission is not that easy to find and/or identify. Although it isn?t some tangible object, it seems we all KNOW it when we do find it. I was fortunate enough to experience submission to it?s fullest recently when I asked a submissive to visit me. We have only known each other for a short while but we just seemed to ?click?. I invited her down as a friend but we learned so much from each other in that week she was here that I strongly feel we will be friends for a lifetime. From her and other submissives with which I have recently been working, I learned that in addition to the characteristics that Castle Realm lists as essential traits of a submissive, I also prefer etiquette, appreciation, attention, dedication and loyalty.

Firstly she came, just as a friend, with all kinds of trinkets and gifts. None of these were all that expensive but they were things that were personal and you could tell they were gifts from the depths of her heart. They were items that showed that she had listened to me in previous conversations and took the time to know ME and things that I like such as my favorite colors and the way I spell ?Pryncess?. Before this wonderful sub even met me, she knew more about me than some play mates with whom I have actually met with several times. Just because I don?t ask you to bring a gift or certain things when meeting me, doesn?t mean it is inappropriate to bring me a gift. A gift should say something about me as well as something about the giver. Every female likes to know that she was thought about and appreciated while you were in her absence. It is proper etiquette to bring offerings to your mistress. (If you really can?t think of anything else, I am sure you can guess by the end of this article that you can never go wrong by bringing me gourmet coffee such as another kind submissive brings to me.)  

With all the trinkets and items she brought, the most precious gift she gave me was her actual submission to me. Submission is a gift to a dominant. I don?t just walk up to people on the street and offer them gifts. As a matter of fact, no one has ever just walked up to me and offered me a new car or a piece of diamond jewelry. Yet, I continue to get messages on here from submissives that I have never spoken to or met before that offer to serve me. Submission is the most meaningful and most personal gift a person can ever give of themselves. I don?t understand how a dominant or submissive can take that so lightly. It is not proper etiquette to just offer yourself and your submission to someone you don?t know. That is simply ridiculous and displays a lack of self respect.

This submissive whom I invited down showed total self respect for herself as she asked for nothing that was simply to please her. She was so appreciative of everything I did for her. In addition, this submissive was so appreciative of everything I allowed her to do for ME. This was a breath of fresh air for me. So many times I put effort into ?working? with someone and they seem to demonstrate the attitude that they are doing me some big favor by fetching my coffee. I am very capable of fetching my own coffee, thank you. It is an honor to you for me to ask you to fetch my coffee. I am allowing you to serve me and for that you, as a submissive, should be most grateful for my time. I am allowing you to be of use to me and fill your need for service by asking you to do something for me. So please, act appreciative of the time I spend with you. I am appreciative of the time I get to spend with you.

If you continue to feel that fetching my coffee, or doing some other seemingly meaningless task is doing ME a favor, then consider the following: While it appears that you are sent doing some meaningless task, in all actuality I am training you in the simple ways to make me happy. This in effect means that I value you enough to actually teach you something. By teaching you something, in effect means I intend on keeping you around. Why would I train someone to fix and bring me coffee just the way I like it if I didn?t intend on having you around for a long time to fetch my coffee?  In all actuality, it is so much simpler for me to fix my own coffee than it is to TRAIN you to fix and fetch my coffee. I know how I like my coffee. I know I can fix my coffee just right the first time I fix it. If I send you after my coffee then I might have to send it back and ask you to add more sugar or more cream or tell you that I like it slightly hotter. So while to you it might seem like I am sending you to do something for me, in all actuality this is showing you my intent on keeping you in hopes that someday you will be able to anticipate when and how this task should be completed in the future. Your mistress deserves your undivided attention during these moments of training.

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, because submission is not a tangible substance, asking a submissive to do a task is the Dominant?s way to observe submission and your dedication in action. I am not simply asking you to fetch me a cup of coffee; I am asking you for a chance to let me watch your submission in action. In asking you to fetch a cup of coffee, I can visually see that you have paid attention to detail as I have trained you. I can see that you put the right amount of cream and sugar as required. I can see that you placed the cup in the exact position in which I enjoy. I can see the style, grace and poise of your submission as you set about your requested task.

Doing a simple task allows me to evaluate and test the dedication and loyalty you have toward me as a Mistress. Your very behaviors indicate your intentions toward me. If you take short cuts and don?t care enough to fix a simple cup of coffee the way I enjoy it, then it makes me wonder how and to what extent you are dedicated to me and your submission to me. If I can?t trust you to make a cup of coffee the way I like it, then how can I trust you to or why would I want you to do more complicated and more personal tasks?

Although it might be compelling for you to message me and tell me how you would like to serve me, why don?t you allow me to be the dominant and determine the best way to fill my and your needs? Your input is always welcome but to tell me that you would orally worship me front and back is topping from the bottom and most disrespectful to a dominant. Don?t tell me that you would love to lick my feet/boots or that you can please me by running my bath and bathing me from head to toe. I assure you that I am most creative and I don?t need you to tell me how execute a scene. Sure I enjoy a massage but I don?t even want you to touch me if you can?t show me the small amount of attention and dedication it takes to bring me a simple cup of coffee. If you can?t dedicate yourself to learning how and when I like my coffee, then you won?t be inspired to allow you to lick my boots or suck my toes.

The last and perhaps the most important characteristic that is important to me is loyalty. I always knew this was an important characteristic to me, but even more so here recently when a friend and I parted ways. Apparently this parting of ways had an effect on several people that are close to me. The words of comfort and support from these close friends really made me realize that I subconsciously surround myself with friends/subs/people that are going to be loyal to me and our relationship. In turn, I find I am most loyal to those whom I surround myself.

In my opinion, most Doms and subs will say a relationship is built on trust and communication. I strongly feel that loyalty is an extension of that trust and communication. Therefore, if you are messaging/talking/serving me and explaining to me what all you can offer Me, and all the while you are in communication with other Dommes, I have to question the loyalty you really have toward me.

Matthew 6:24 from the Bible states as follows: ?No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other.? Although this verse in Matthew is discussing God and money, despite your religious background and/or beliefs, I find this statement to be true in the BDSM lifestyle as well. I think it just as important for the submissive to choose the dominant that he feels he would have the most loyalty toward, as it is for a Dominant to choose a submissive with whom she feels she could develop a relationship. Call me greedy if you like, but if I can?t have your unquestionable loyalty as a friend or mistress, then expect no loyalty from me.

So to be clear, if you have a genuine interest in Me then you are expected to cut all ties with other mistresses with whom you have been previously considering.  A submissive can?t be serving me coffee while thinking of another mistress and her coffee. This is not acceptable to me. Without loyalty, there is no submission or bending of your will to mine.

So while castle realm defines characteristics of submission as Honesty, Submissiveness, Intelligence, Service, Communication, Self Respect, and Patience; I recognize submission as the most precious gift that I could ever receive.  Make mine a double caramel latte. Stir in some Etiquette, Appreciation, Attention, Dedication, and Loyalty, because, after all, service without these is just coffee, served black. --Pryncess

Training. . .
Although I have known my topic for my next journal writing for a while, it was simply not the time to write and post it. Now, however, as with most things in life, the time, inspiration and reasoning for it all has finally all came into alignment. I would like to present my thoughts and feelings on the topic of ?Training?. 

While I have my own thoughts and feelings about this subject, I find there are probably more questions I have about training than anything else. Although I have ?played? with a few submissives, I have never actually owned/collared one. Training has never really been an issue for me because anyone I was ?playing with?, I did not foresee myself with for any extended amount of time. However, recent events lead me to believe that soon I will be owning/collaring my first sub/slave (he states ?slave? but due to the amount of time we have spent together r/l, that remains to be seen just yet) and therefore training is now suddenly an issue for me. 

In addition, I get a few messages from time to time from submissives asking for training. To be honest, (and I believe honesty is an imperative feature of not only a D/s, but any relationship?maybe that is because I lack the ability of mendacity) I am not really sure what that means or what they are asking/wanting of me.

As with any relationship, a D/s relationship is built where both persons stand to gain something from the relationship. The relationship is symbiotic.  Therefore, if a submissive has nothing to offer me then why should I waste my time with him? I am not against a pro dominant relationship for this reason. Sometimes there is nothing more of interest to a dominant that a submissive has to offer her other than his money. Why should I train someone when the chances are they will never come to me and actually serve me? What do I have to gain from this situation? Even in r/l meetings, I have nothing to gain personally from sticking a strap on up one?s ass. Also, as previously mentioned above, for what are they asking to be trained?

I ?played? with this guy once. I knew he had little experience with the lifestyle but I decided to take him on anyway assuming certain things about this 22 year old. I assumed he could make a bed and wash a few dishes. I thought that I could train him to be a houseboy. However, after ?playing? with him, I soon came to realize that in order to train him to be a house boy I would have to train him to actually do the chores that I assumed any 22 year old man would know how to do. The poor guy seemed to have no idea what a mattress cover was (commenting that he didn?t have one of those on his bed) and left wrinkles all in my bed after he changed the sheets (where I caught him putting the fitted sheet on wrong side out). He seemed to view the act of changing my bed as a chore instead of contemplating the fact that I allowed him the opportunity to have his grubby little hands all up in my most intimate place?my bed. He also took what seemed to be two hours to wash my dishes. I decided to no longer ?play? with him because it was going to take too much effort to train him how to make a bed and do a few house chores. So my question is if someone wants me to train them, are they asking me to teach them basic skills that my son at 9 years of age already knows how to do? If so shouldn?t they be asking their mother to show them how to do those chores rather than wasting the time of a Dominant?

There is another thing about training that I don?t understand. How can I train someone who I never foresee myself having long term? In the example above I expected to have to train the boy how to make MY (small details that are personal and apply only to ME) bed but not how to make A bed.  How can I train someone for a future mistress when everyone is an individual and likes things done a certain way to suit them?

I like my towels folded in third (long ways) and then in ½ and then in ½ again. That is how I like MY towels folded. However, the next mistress a boy serves very well may like her towels folded differently and therefore I would actually be doing HER a great disservice  because not only would she have to teach boy how to fold her towels but she would also have to ?break? him of how I had trained him to fold towels. Same goes for kneeling positions. I am experimenting with different kneeling positions that I find agreeable to ME. If I spend time training someone how to kneel but then a different mistress whom accepts him later could find MY kneeling positions disagreeable to her.

Sometimes I feel like submissives think there is a training manual out there that is only available to Mistresses. While there are some universal truths (the sky is up, the earth is round and fire is hot), there is no one right or wrong way to have a submissive behave. My submissive that I intend on collaring is a cocky little smart ass that is sometimes quick to talk back or ?test? me in other ways. (You DO know some of that stuff you get away with online isn?t going to happen when we begin living together, right?) I know other?s might see him as disrespectful but I love his cocky little smart ass attitude and would have him no other way. I plan to train him on when it is ok to ?tease? me and when it he shouldn?t defy me.

Every Mistress is different and likes things done her way and I can only train a submissive to suit me and My way. Furthermore, there are things that I don?t even know how I would want done yet. Because I have only done ?casual play? and never had a 24/7 relationship, there are so many aspects to consider and at this point that I don?t know what is preferable to me. An example of this is eye restriction. I am not sure at this point if I want submissives to make eye contact with me or not. In the casual play I have done in the past I would not prefer eye contact. However, in a 24/7 relationship I think this would be not only almost impossible but impractical. In play situations, which usually only lasts a few hours and usually in a restrictive setting, the submissive can take cues from a Master/Mistress verbally or with other body language signals. However, in a 24/7 relationship I can not expect to say in public ?You stupid shit head, you forgot to open the car door for me.? However, I feel that CAN very well be said using a quick glance to the submissive with the look in my eyes. So as far as training, some things I don?t even have figured out yet as far as how I want to train my submissives in certain areas.

We are Mistresses, Dominants. We are not all-knowing. We are individuals that are ever evolving and often don?t know how something such as a scene is going to end. What would be the fun in that anyway? Why attempt a scene if I knew what the reaction and outcome of the scene was going to be? One half of the fun is setting up a scene is anticipating the submissive?s reactions. In addition each submissive is different and must be treated as such. One submissive?s pain is another submissive?s pleasure. What I as a Mistress might teach you as a pleasurable sensation, another Mistress could very well had her own twist to make that same activity a punishment for you.

Now here is what I CAN say about training. If a dominant does agree to accept you into his/her life, you can damn well bet that he/she sees something special in you and wants to nurture that in you. I took one look at a submissive?s profile and for some reason I knew right away that I had to contact him and hoped to ?play? with him. Actually he was the reason I signed up and got on collar me in the first place. It is so rare that you just SEE or FEEL something special in someone. If that happens to you that a Dominant sees something special in you, it is in your best interest to listen to that dominant and learn all you can from Him/Her as long as He/She is willing to ?play? with you. You should, as a submissive, hang on His/Her every word. Do your best to act on their advice and take it internally. Know that He/She is doing all that He/She can to train you in the time He/She has allotted toward you. Be most thankful and appreciative of the dominant?s time He/She has spent with you even if it was just a few words, five minutes, one session or an entire weekend. Never take lighthearted what He/She has to say to you because few things dominants do are insignificant or without a particular purpose. Dominants say and do things for reasons other than just our own amusement. More often than not we are trying to teach you SOMETHING in EVERYTHING we say and do.

My experience is that I don?t TRAIN a submissive for a certain task or occupation. My experience is that I SEE or FEEL, in some clairvoyant sixth-sense type of way, that which I know to already be present within him. It is my job as a dominant to nurture that which I already deem present within him and bring that to the forefront or develop it more in depth. Therefore, this leads me to the question about how can I train a submissive for something that I don?t see present within him? How do I nurture something that I can?t even see in existence? This isn?t to say that the submissive doesn?t have some abilities or qualities to nurture, only that I lack the ability to see those qualities in a particular person. After all, a gardener will continue to water a planted seed although there are no visible signs that the seed is in the soil. However, using this analogy, I don?t have the time or inclination to ?water? soil when I have no indication there is even a seed planted. I think more often than not, perhaps, that it isn?t my inability to see their submissive attributes but more likely that in asking for ?training? they are in reality actually more or less asking ?Will you play with me?? To which I reply, ?What is in it for me??

I conclude this journal posting with a simple request. If you do choose to message me and request training, please be clearer and more specific about what it is that you want from me exactly. In addition, be prepared to answer the above mentioned question and tell me ?Why should I spend my precious time playing with you??

With all this talk about training, I have decided to start a training manual. This project isn?t so much a manual to hand to a submissive as one receives from an employer on his first day of orientation. I anticipate this project is more about ME and will assist me in documenting my likes, dislikes and my expectations from a submissive. I think this will be a fun, introspective project. I am more likely to find out more about myself and my own dominance rather than providing a guide to a someday prospective submissive of mine.

I saw this on a Dom?s profile and it made me laugh. I have seen this before, posted in an internet based munch group to which I belonged years ago. Perhaps this would in part explain why I don?t belong to local munch groups anymore. In any case, I would like to respond to this from a Dominant WOMAN?S point of view (demonstrated in purple) and add ?Welcome to the 21^st century?.

The Good Wife?s Guide

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. Work you ass off all day to provide for your mistress? financial needs. Make her proud in everything you do; the way you talk, the way you walk and the way you carry out even the most mundane work tasks. Keep your mind focused on her and what you can do to please her and make her proud. Don?t bother stopping for a beer or to chat with your buddies about last night?s sports game. After all when was the last time you watched any sports since under the care of your mistress? Somehow sports just don?t hold the same appeal since you have been under your mistress? care. You are way to busy providing for you mistress? needs to even think about such unimportant events anymore. Leave beer and sports to the less fortunate.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you?ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Don?t forget the list of items she told you to pick up on your way home. She probably needs that corset from the dry cleaners for a session she has tomorrow. If you don?t get that pack of razors then you will be shaving her legs with that dull razor and boy will you get it good if you cut her with that dull thing. It wouldn?t hurt to pick up some fresh flowers for her to show you are going the extra mile for her either.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. When you finally get home don?t expect some big ?hoopla? about the whole deal. Announce that you are home and ask immediately what you can do for Her now that you have arrived. Don?t bore her with details about ?water cooler? talk at work. Ask her how her day went and what can you do to make it even better for her.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Present Mistress with the items that you were supposed to pick up on the way home. Present the flowers as well and be thankful that you have someone as special as she is for which to buy flowers. Kiss her feet and/or whatever part of her body she will allow you to touch/kiss.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. Once you are dismissed to begin your evening chores, do them with the utmost respect and vigor you can provide for her. Never mind that you have put in eight hours ?working? already today to provide for her financially. This is her house and you need to clean it and prepare supper without whiney excuses of being tired.

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.  While dinner is in the oven, ask Mistress if you can rub her feet for her. After all you are sure she went shopping with some boy toy she has on a string and therefore she was probably on her feet all day spending your hard earned money. Slip her slippers on her feet when it is time for you to go back to the kitchen and check on the evening meal. Serve her meal and the children their meal first. Then you are allowed to eat in the other room by yourself.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children?s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. After the kitchen has been cleaned, offer to help the children with their homework and baths.

8. Be happy to see him. Live to please her.

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. After the children are bathed and put to bed offer to give her an evening bath and shave her legs for her.

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first ? remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Just keep silent. She doesn?t want to hear whatever stupid nonsense that is in your head. It only makes sense to you anyway.  

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. After Mistress has had her bath, shower yourself in hopes that she might want to give you some attention later. If she decides to have anything to do with you, you will want to be clean and smell nice for her.

12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Same goes but change ?husband? to ?Mistress? and ?himself? to ?Herself?. This means light candles and play soft music instead of drinking beer and watching TV. That was your ?old life? and you are all to happy to leave that behind for the sense of belonging and understanding you get from your mistress.

13. Don?t greet him with complaints and problems. Don?t remind Mistress how long it has been since you have been ?relieved?. Either she already knows or doesn?t really care. She will remove the chastity device on her terms and any whining or indication that YOU are ready for relief will only prove to prolong your agony.

14. Don?t complain if he?s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Don?t complain if you find you have an extra pair of underwear under the bed that you have to wash. She probably didn?t know her afternoon joy ride left in her underwear instead. If you ask her politely, she might even let you know how wonderful he treated her in bed and explain for the 400^th time why you simply can?t ever measure up to the boy toy.

15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Approach Mistress and tell her everything you have done already and ask her if there is anything else she would like you to do before you retire to bed. HOPE and PRAY she decides to allow you to take off your chastity device so you can ?play with yourself? while she laughs at you before you fall asleep.

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. If there is nothing else you can do for her, get the coffee pot ready to be turned on in the morning so you can bring her the usual cup of coffee and breakfast in bed before you leave for work the next morning. Lay out your clothes for her approval. Turn down her bed and present yourself in the usual manner for the butt plug she inserts into you every night. Thank her for allowing her to fill you and prepare you for sleep.

17. Don?t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. Kiss her feet and/or which ever body part she allows you and thank her for allowing you to serve her. Continue to hope she gives you enough attention to kick you in the balls before you go to sleep or directly after you go to sleep; whichever she desires.

Today has been a most memorable day. I was talking to a submissive from this website and through the course of conversation I began to fantasize about having a submissive in a comatose state. I was thinking this would be the ultimate submissive act giving total control over to the dominant. The dominant (me) would be totally responsible for the ?patient?(sub). I began to fantasize about taking total control and responsibility for my submissive.

I will spare you all the details of my fantasy. Only know that the fantasy also incorporated my blood fetish as I entertained the thought of a symbiotic relationship, having him be a vampiric host in exchange for my care of him.
 I began to wonder if there was a name for individuals who have a ?fetish? for comatose patients. Oddly enough I couldn?t find anything on the internet about it. I hesitantly talked to my boyfriend later in the evening about this fantasy and he is actually the one that found a term for it. He found it in a book review discussing Dahmer and apparently the term ?kumaphilia? was invented while investigating and discussing Dahmer?s ?activities?. In addition, the term somnophilia (sexual arousal from sleeping or unconscious people)also seems to apply to a degree (I haven?t read up on this one just yet). My boyfriend also sent me some other links including ones about paraphilia. On one website about paraphilia I found a list of several ?common? fetishes. I was amazed to find that probably about ¾ of them I had personally fantasized about either briefly (short brief images of the actual act) or completely played out in my mind (such as an entire scene).  
Because I related to so many of the fetishes on the list and because I have a psychology degree and I recognized that the list was taken from the DSM IV, I have legitimate cause for concern that I have a severe case of paraphilia. I tried to comfort myself by noting that there are varying degrees and I placed myself in the slightest degree being the ?optional? degree. This means that I have really no preference to have sex with or without these fetishes. However, my loving boyfriend reminded me that I was more likely in the ?preferred? degree where I prefer sexual activity with at least some of these fetishes. After all he and I agreed that we have never actually had ?vanilla sex? with each other and therefore sadist and masochist fetishes would definitely be listed in the ?preferred? region. ?Exclusive? paraphilia means you can?t get aroused without the fetish.
I have always known I was ?different? or ?kinky? and I was proud to be a self proclaimed ?freak?. I just deceived myself into thinking I was an average person with a few healthy ?oddities? about my sexuality. However, after realizing that most of my fantasies fall into the paraphilia family, I suddenly realized I most likely am depraved and probably need serious clinical therapy.  
However, here is the backlash of that. Therapy sets out to change you and/or your behavior. I am completely happy with who/what I am. I don?t want to change. Even now that I realize that the things I think, feel, and fantasize about are ?wrong?. I still don?t want to change them. They are simply part of Me. They are a part of whom I am. I happen to like me. I don?t want anyone trying to change me.  
Hind sight IS 20/20 and I see now why none of my ?vanilla? relationships ever worked. I am depraved for goodness sake! How can some ?normal? person ever be with someone like me? Of course they would judge me and try to change me and not be into what I am into (according to the list on paraphilia, I am into quite a number of things). I am not good at hiding my feelings and I want to surround myself with true friends that totally understand me, and know that I am depraved and love me despite myself.    
Those of my friends who KNEW all along that I was depraved should have told me before now! I know, I know. . .  ?Pryncess, we thought you already knew.? My friends know me well enough to know that although I believe them because they ARE my true friends, I have a tendency to only accept and acknowledge the things I find upon investigation, introspection and reflection. (My TRUE friends totally support me in my fantasy about continuing to be 29 years old for several years now?thank you for not bursting my bubble on that one, Friends. Yes, for the record, this one I actually DO know about myself.) So instead of being upset at you for NOT telling me, I want to thank you for supporting me the entire time while knowing all along that I was depraved. In return, I will support you and your depravity as well. Friends that deprave together stay together. --Pryncess

convenience.
So this is to the rest of you submissives that like to sit around and dream of what you have to offer a dominant woman but come way short when the transition moves from online to real life: "You must HAVE some balls before you can hand them over to a Mistress."

I just bought the coolest thing today. I was at the Halloween store and found one of those "slap on" bracelets that had skulls on it. The really neat part about it is that the inside of the braclet is a ruler. I was thinking that I could wear the bracelet and while playing with a sub I could take the bracelet off and measure him. Not that size matters of course. . .