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mysticdove74

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Friends:
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I am a sensual pansexual with fluctuating and evolving orientation, with about 12 years experience in the lifestyle, who truly enjoys the cognitive side of Ds. I crave mental stimulation and seek out new knowledge and experiences to keep myself well rounded.I am also a hopeless romantic with a definitively kinky side. As I have aged, I have found that I am more and more open to exploring what the world has to offer. It is my belief that we will never truly know all of what we like without trying what is available to us. A closed mind leads to a lack of knowledge base and never truly knowing all of lifes many pleasures.



After many months of consideration, I have come to a decision about my orientation- for the time being that is. The word that best describe me is kinky. I enjoy the alternative lifestyle. I used to consider myself basically submissive. Over time though, I have found that it is only with rare and special people that this submissive nature comes forward and allows itself to be nurtured. Also, with the right partner in the right situation I do enjoy playing a top. I would never go so far as to characterize myself as a Domme, because that simply isnt my mindset. That being said....if youre a male submissive who is desperately looking for a Domme....you are barking up the wrong tree here.



My personality is multi-faceted. I can be shy in some circumstances, yet gregarious in others silly and playful or serious sophisticated and intellectual, yet also willful and in control or totally malleable. Im a touchyfeely kind of person, always have been. I have an extremely curious nature and love learning new things and experiencing new things, including assimilating my new knowledge into my mental framework. I hate planning things, though I do when necessary or when its something I want to achieve, otherwise, Im totally into spontaneity. However, dont mistake the spontaneity for stupidity, for it isnt. I love snuggling and cuddling...sometimes leading to other things and sometimes just for the sheer pleasure of physical contact, not wanting or needing anything more. I have a sarcastic sense of humour and can be quite the smart ass when I choose to be.



I consider myself a lady underneath my kinkiness. Therefore if you contact me for the first time in a sexual way, you will likely be ignored or told off, depending upon my mood. Im also not the slightest bit interested in cyber sex or multiple friends with benefits, so dont bother me with such trash. Also to those specialDominants, be you male or female, who think subs should call you SirMasterLord or MistressGoddessMaamor some other similar platitude just because you have labelled yourself as such, or start barking orders the first time you contact someone that style doesnt work for me. Therefore Im probably not the one for you to choose to contact. As Yyou can probably tell by now,I am an opinionated person, thoughI am able to express my opinions in a respectful manner except in situations in whichI am not treated respectfully. Respect begets respect.



Submissively, i like having my limits pushed, though not just in any direction. Rather, I prefer there some forethought for what may expand my abilities and make me better able to serve.That far exceeds just being pushed for the sake of pushing. The Dominant who takes the time to get to know me, how i think, what i like and what interests me, touches on the mental aspect of Ds that i find so irresistible. i enjoy intelligent conversation with Dominants andor submissives about a variety of topics and interests. i especially enjoy those Dominants or submissives who can bring out and appreciate all the facets of my personality. Im also extremely attracted to a Dominant who can express HimHerself through words. There is little more powerful than the written word.



I love art, books, photography, collecting blown glass ballspottery, museumsart galleries, traveling, watching movies, scrap booking, antiquing, exploring new places and ideas, being spontaneous, moving water, seeking knowledge, cheese and wine, though that list is not exhaustive.



Now, for those of you Dominant types who still have not been able to discern what Im looking for after reading this long profile.....heres a list



WHAT IM NOT- I repeat NOT- LOOKING FOR



1) a string of play partners

2) a married man who wants some excitement in his life but wants to keep the familiarity of his boring vanilla life with his wife.

3) idiots need not apply- I freely admit it- I have a prejudice against stupid people.

4) men who believe this is all about them and who dont give a damn about what the submissivewants or needs

5) men looking for pain sluts- what part of this profile says Im looking for that?

6) men who dont know how to be socially appropriate when contacting a woman for thefirst time



WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR



1) an intelligent man or woman

2) a confident man or woman- know what you want and dont be afraid to ask for it

3) a gentlemanwoman- i.e., a manwoman who knows how to treat a womansubmissive properly- i.e., with respect

4) someone who is actually capable of and desires to have a relationship- one that

combines both vanilla and Ds

5) someone who is ready and willing to accept and give love and affection

6) someone who can understand my fetish for menwomen in a suit (if you actually wear them I may be swooning already) or a kilt

PLEASE TAKE NOTE!!!! If Yyou wish to communicate with me, please be respectful. I dont respond well to so tell me about yourself. Also, if you are one of those CM members who are here specifically for easy sex or a string of one night stands, keep moving on to the next profile, because I dont care if youre a combination of Brad Pitt, Jon Bon Jovi, George Clooney, Taye Diggs and Keith Urban (OMG, is there a more delectable combination?) youre not getting anywhere with me! If Yyou cant figure out a creative way to introduce Yyourself and get my attention, dont waste Yyour time or mine either. Time is a valuable commodity, no matter whose it is. Another tip- start the communication by trying to get to know ME, Im a person, not just a submissive. If you are a submissive, either male or female or tg, i welcome new friends.

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6/27/2012 6:27:47 PM

Earlier today I had a hard time imagining how I could possibly be more frustrated than I was at the time. While I completely love my job and am so grateful that I have it in my life, sometimes aspects of things I have to do to report what I do aren't always reliable and make things extremely difficult to say the least.

 

When I got home I decided to put that aside and relax a bit. Good thinking I thought at the time. Then there was the discussion with an opinionated person who thought that because I didn't bow down and totally accept his point of view on a subject, that I am therefore insecure and don't want a relationship. Wow, if I was really all that insecure would I really have the strength to stand up for my beliefs? I'm thinking the answer to that is a definite no. However, I'm also thinking that if you can't stand anyone to question you on something so minor that you yourself might have some insecurities. YA THINK?!


5/27/2012 2:44:51 PM
I had the most delightful experience last night. I went to a BDsM club with 2 friends of mine I hadn't seen in ages. Not only was it just wonderful to spend time with them, but I got a chance to spend some time with an acquaintance as well. Beyond those things, I thoroughly enjoyed assisting my Dominant friend in doing 2 wax art sessions and taking photos of the results. The first submissive made the most delightful squeals and laughs when the wax hit ticklish or sensitive spots. I can so easily see why Dominants enjoy those sounds! I also was able to watch a few really hot scenes others were doing. As an additional bonus, I got some wonderfully kinky ideas for things I want to try.

4/7/2012 5:51:25 PM

I have found myself more and more exasperated with this site in the last few weeks. I have been vacillating on whether or not to just delete my profile here or not. It seems like such a waste of my time.


It's really appalling to me the sheer number of totally and absolutely clueless people you find on here. For the most part, I believe the people trolling here....yes, I mean exactly what I said...are here on this site because they think that BDSM or D/s means free and easy sex. Well news flash idiots- this is not about the sex!!! Oh yes, sex is a definite bonus and by product of this lifestyle, but it is not what it is about.


I think I speak for many submissive when I point out the following offenses that the so-called Doms who contact us make-


1) If you think contacting a submissive for the first time and barking demands or insults is going to get you a favourable response, you are sadly misinformed. As a submissive, we have the luxury of controlling to whom and when we submit. Submitting to a rude, insolent idiot we've never even spoken to before isn't even on our radar- so get a clue and stop this. If you need to have your ego boosted, you're going about this the wrong way- this is an EGO-BUSTING activity for proper submissives.


2) When you contact someone for the first time and you'd like to get a response, you need to say something which will make them want to respond- be it charming, interesting, titillating or humourous. Saying "nice tits girl" or "hello" is not even close to meeting this criteria. Come on fellas, don't you have a freaking imagination? People who are truly into this lifestyle should be overflowing with imagination- so freaking use it for something productive!!! It will only be of benefit to yourself.


3) Where have all the manners gone since the onset of internet communication? If you met a woman in the grocery store who caught your interest would you walk up to her and "nice tits girl" or "kneel at my feet and worship My dick." If you were stupid enough to do this, I think you'd certainly deserve the slap or blistering verbal abuse you would get heaped upon yourself. A Dominant should have respect for a submissive, just as a submissive should have respect for a Dominant. Respect means you don't ask sexual questions as your first questions- jeez- you're supposed to actually get to know someone a bit before you delve into that aren't you?


4) Why is the only way that CM "Doms" (and I use that term very loosely) know how to communicate with submissives is through an interrogation using the 20 questions game? I'm thinking that if the roles were reversed and we, as submissives, asked you quesiton after question and never gave you any information about ourselves, you'd soon get tired of it and say thanks but no thanks. Why not converse with a submissive? Conversation involves the give and take of information in a fluid manner which leads to a greater divulgence of information from both parties in general. When we feel comfortable with someone we are all apt to give more information and lead others to give more information hence providing for a greater avenue of chances to get to know one another. When you get short, clipped answers, it generally means the other person is not interested- interrogation breeds such disinterest. So wake up Dominants- learn to use the tool of conversation to get what you want.


signs.....Now that I have basically finished my rant I feel a tad bit better. However, I am sadly cognizant of the fact that the idiots to whom this is most targeted don't read profiles or journals- all they do is perv photos so they can jack off to them.....MEN!!!!!!!!!!!


3/22/2012 5:58:35 PM

I'm curious, what is it about describing yourself as a sensual submissive that makes a sadistic Dom/Domme or a begging male submissive contact you? Me, I'm thinking that sensual submissive and sadist or begging male submissives just don't mesh in any way whatsoever. 

 

I know my dear "gay friend" and sadistic Dom will disagree with me on this point. He would tell me that it's better to have a submissive such as myself who has to endure the sadistic "torture" rather than a pain slut who lives for it.

 

Anyone else have an opinion?


3/21/2012 10:18:23 AM

I just finished doing some minor revisions on my profile. I deleted a few things and added 2 major things. I'm not really sure why I added the 2 things....2 lists- What I'm not looking for and What I am looking for. I realize that the vast majority of the people those lists should be aimed at are never, ever going to do anything other than perv my profile pics and send some irritating caveman message....wow, I'm gonna really have to hold myself back not to jump on those guys!! 

 

I am hoping that the addition of the 2 lists will help those Dominants who actually do know how to read and do actually read profiles before sending messages get a very clear idea of what it is I'm hoping to find. Also, I'm hoping it will alleviate that dreaded question- so what are you looking for? (We won't even get into the fact that that sentence was finished with a preposition!!! Don't get me started!!)


7/20/2011 8:47:42 AM

It's a new day and it's back to a more positive feeling to my journal entries. This morning I started off the day with a bang! One person made me roll about the bed laughing uproariously followed by challenging my mind and validating my thoughts. That's a great start to any day in my opinion. Another message met other needs. My point with this is these events solidified my train of thought I've been having for some time-  that we should never ever try to meet all our needs through one source. Thinking about that just makes me scream of frustration waiting to happen. All of us, granted some of us more than others, have a variety of needs. I truly think it's unrealistic to think that one single person can recognize and attempt to meet what could be a huge set of seemingly unrelated needs. Rather, I think it's much more realistic to go the route of meeting individual or small groups of needs through a series of individuals ranging from family to friends to lovers. Anyone else have any thoughts on this subject?


7/19/2011 10:58:31 AM

I've been trying to be on a positive slope as far as journal entries go. No one wants to listen to someone rant and rave all the time. I know I certainly don't want to hear that. However, today I had an experience with a so called intelligent, educated Dom that just really got me going. 

 

Now I never claimed to be a Rhodes scholar and never will claim that. However, I do have an advanced  degree and am not what I would consider uneducated. Evidently though there is some question after reading my profile as to whether or not I understand what the concept of a "TRUE MASTER" is all about. Today I got a dumbed down version of repeated attempts to educate this ignorant submissive on this topic. When I pointed out to this Dom that I have had several wonderful examples of "true Dominants" in my life and I knew exactly what one stood for and how one acted, I was told I was "defensive" and I think he considered me rather obnoxious for pointing this out to him. Do "true Masters" these days want submissives who just roll over and say "yes Sir" no matter what you say? If so, please count this one out of that game!!!


7/16/2011 11:21:32 AM

I'm writing this entry from the Tokyo airport as I await my flight back to the States. I have mixed emotions about the return, but will try to focus on the positive ones and enjoy being able to see the friends and family I have dearly missed.

 

I had a very frustrating experience lately and am wondering if I might get some feedback from others. I had a Dominant with whom I was involved with on a casual basis for almost a year and on a serious basis for about 4 months. I came home during the evacuation to Him and He was like night and day a different person from the one with whom I had been with prior to going to Japan in January. This disturbed me and I tried repeatedly to discuss it with Him, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Finally, after a week of the 3 1/2 weeks I had to spend in the US I decided I wasn't going to spend the rest of my time there being miserable, so I asked to be taken to the home of some friends of mine, whom He had also met. We stopped all communication after He dropped me off and left.

 

Out of the blue, I received a friend invite from him on a little over 2 weeks. He said he missed our conversations and still had affection for me and hoped that we could become friends again. I responded to him and said we could of course try to do that. I don't like ending relationships in a bitter fashion. It just seems so childish. He didn't respond when I sent him a message, so a week later I sent him another saying if he wanted to proceed he would need to contact me because I had put forth effort and it was now his turn to do so as well. No message received. After a few more days I sent him a message and said I could only assume from his lack of response that he had changed his mind and no longer wanted to repair our friendship. Another week went by and I finally got an email. It was not a nice email. It was nasty in fact. I sent him a final email saying I thought it was sad that 2 intelligent adults couldn't communicate any better to get past something and I wished him happiness and good health. I then deleted him from my friends list.

 

Is it me or does this sound like a game? 


7/2/2011 4:45:08 AM

I felt the need to write a very positive journal entry because so often what we comment upon is the negative and there is so much good in life, even in times such as those I am going through presently, when you sometimes have to look for the good.

 

I have had a profile here on collarme for probably about 5 years now. It was created when I was with a TG Dominant with whom I lived for 2 1/2 years. In the time since this profile has been created, that person has vanished from life and others have walked in and out, each making their marks in my life in their own unique and indelible way.

 

For several years now I have just sort of checked in here from time to time as I received notification of messages from other members. There seemed to be an enormous amount of players and I basically came to think of collarme as a waste of my time. However, I have to say that within the last 2-3 weeks, I have seen this site redeem itself. There are actually real people here. People who are worth your time and effort to get to know- to listen to, to talk to, to laugh with and with whom to explore (sorry about the awkwardness of that last phrase, but I can't end a sentence with a preposition- it's a hard limit....lol).

 

To those of you with whom I have spoken in the last few weeks I thank you for restoring my faith, at least partially (I still have some doubts long term), in a lifestyle that has helped me immeasurably to understand myself and my true needs. You know who you are if you're reading this- smiles.....so thanks for bringing a cheshire grin back to my face and my heart.

 

 


7/1/2011 3:44:33 AM

I have had the same experience with the last 3 Doms I have spoken to from here and it is very perplexing to me. They seem like very intelligent, personable men who have a great ability to communicate- all pluses in my book. Here is the perplexing part- on all 3 separate occasions the Dom and I have spoken online for sometime and we seem to be getting along very well, in fact, we seem to be on the same page in both vanilla and D/s aspects of life. Communication from them seems positive and I think things are moving forward- then all the sudden with no warning they stop communicating with me.

 

In trying to figure this out I had to look at both side of the story- I interpreted things erroneously or the Dom simply flaked out on me. Scenario option #1- it could be that what I thought was us relating well was just him being polite. Scenario #2- he got to a certain point in our conversations and lost interest or just simply flaked out on me.

 

No matter which of the above scenarios is actually the correct one- or if, in fact, it is something else entirely, the mature, adult way to handle the situation would have been to simply say- this is not going in the direction I need it to go in for me. I appreciate your time and wish you well in your search. Simply stopping communication with no indication as to why you're doing this is neither adult or responsible- both qualities that a "real" Dom should possess in spades. How can you be responsible for someone else when you can't even be responsible yourself?


6/29/2011 11:18:18 PM

I have always heard that we learn the most through our times of struggle. I never really put too much thought into that before- but I am finding myself in deep contemplation of that concept at this point in my life. I am presently dealing with a great deal of major stress in my life that is turning everything I know and accept as true, upside down. As one might imagine, it brings a myriad of emotions- including being overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, hurt, frightened, confused and to my great surprise- at times a feeling of almost happiness. It is not happiness caused from emotional pain (no, I'm not that kind of masochist), but a happiness that stems from a realization that I have grown and am continuing to grow as a person.

 

My history with dealing with significant stressors in my life is not something of which I am particularly proud. In the past, even the not so distant past, I have always gotten to a certain point in the level of stress, gotten overwhelmed and had a total meltdown. With assistance I'd get back to normal fairly quickly or on my own in a short time, but I still was not efficient at handling any major amounts of stress independently. Yesterday afternoon when I got the news that I truly felt was coming, but was still holding out significant hope that it would not, I felt that old feeling of being overwhelmed. However, instead of heading into a full meltdown, what I found myself doing was releasing my emotions by crying for a few minutes and then moving on to thinking what I needed to do to get myself out of this situation as quickly, efficiently and cost effectively as possible. I had a breakthrough!!! I was finally beginning to be able to see through the clouds of emotion to do something to get to the other side. At that point I found happiness in my growth. So, now I've learned that I can function on a logical level in high stress and not just dissolve into an emotional puddle.

 

I like this discovery about myself. It makes me feel stronger as an individual. I don't like always having to feel like I need to rely on someone else for my strength in difficult times. It's one thing to get support in those times, but an entirely different story to totally rely on someone else to be your strength. I also feel better about being able to deal with things on a less emotional level. Being able to look at something and think of steps to get out of it is much more manageable emotionally. Being emotional is very wearing on your body and mind. Being logical takes much less effort!!

 

Another lesson I have learned, but that took me longer to accept is that I am really more of a masochist that I think I am. While I already knew that at times I could be taken to a moderate level of pain if escalated properly, I never have considered myself to be a masochist. I've always considered myself to be a sensual submissive, for those types of activities are always what gets me going. However, when I came back to the States in April for the evacuation, I had a painful experience and found when I played with a partner I have played with on many occasions, I needed things from him I never needed before and I don't think he expected that or truly knew what to do with that need or how deep it was. What I released through that experience and from what I now realize I need now, in the misted of this struggle is to have my outside pain match my inside pain or frustration or hurt....whatever the negative emotion is at the moment. This is a cathartic experience for me and equalizes the emotion within.

 

Coming to terms with this need in me was a true struggle within myself. I fought this realization, and in retrospect have probably fought it for years. I still do not see myself as what others would traditionally consider a masochist, because I don't live for pain. However, I see the benefit of pain to equalize emotions and help you release the negativity. I look forward to continuing in my self-discovery and improving myself. For those of you who have been around for the journey....I thank you.


12/10/2009 7:20:26 PM
I must say that in many ways I remain disillusioned and disappointed by the things that have happened, the people who have tried to interact with me and the way in which they choose to present themselves. However, I have finally come to realize that I can not let the actions of the many misguided people claiming to be a part of this lifestyle to stop me from being an integral part of something which I value and which helps to make me whole and happy.

After months of soul searching and talking to a few people I hold dear in this lifestyle and whose voices and opinions I value, I have decided to seriously set forth on a new journey. I am now exploring my Dominant side in the form of being a switch. At this point in my development I consider myself a submissive with Dominant tendencies. In either case, whether acting on my submissive or My Dominant side, I am very picky about the type of person with whom I allow to enter into my life. I take this very seriously and know what I want and feel no need to settle for something which will not in the end make me happy. I have come to realize that is not being selfish, that is being smart- it saves me and any potential partner a lot of wasted energy or possible pain.

At the moment I am fascinating with rope work. I have always been a submissive who adores being bound. It gave me a feeling of incredible release. However, I have found that doing the rope work gives me an artistic outlet like few others I have found with the exception of photography.

4/18/2009 8:42:14 AM
I am totally disillusioned with this lifestyle at this time and am choosing to remove myself from it until that time when my attitude changes or I meet someone who can restore my faith in what I originally found so fascinating about D/s. Be well A/all.

4/3/2009 4:08:32 PM
It's funny how things go in cycles. For a while, there was little to no interest in my profile and now there is a plethora of interest. This too shall wane and the lull will return in time. I have to say that I have gotten some very interesting and thought provoking responses, which both surprised and pleased me. However, I've also gotten the average idiotic wannabe Dom responses which are like fingernails on a chalk board to me.

I've come to a point in the last few days that I'm weary of this process. I've become disillusioned and am not sure I truly believe that a real Dom/Domme that is a match for me exists. Maybe someone will happen along and prove me wrong...one never knows.

6/6/2008 3:07:01 PM
i've been thinking about the "who's viewing me?" tab on CM. This thought has really been developing in my mind for a while now, but i'm just now voicing it to myself or to anyone else...that is if anyone ever reads these entries that is. Supposedly people view Y/your profile for one or more of several reasons, including, but not limited to: Y/your proximity to T/them, Y/your picture intrigues T/them and/or what Y/you state Y/you're looking for here. Then after they give it a cursory view, T/they may go "wow, this person is someone I/i need to know, or "next please." Judging on the number of people who have viewed my profile and the number of people who have actually left a message for me, i am either: ugly and don't realize it, boring and don't realize it, just not what T/they're looking for or T/they just can't be bothered to follow through with anything. As Arsenio Hall used to say "things that make you go hhhhhmmmmmmmm."

5/26/2008 5:14:09 PM

my first travel assignment is quickly coming to a close. Soon, in the latter part of June, i will be leaving NC and heading back home to Philly. It's been wonderful being back home in NC and being able to explore a part of my home state that i really didn't know that well.

i've indulged my love of exploring and gone to many places of interest in the area. i've also taken a multitude of photographs as there are so many things of interest to capture with the lens. i truly love the feel of Wilmington. The historic homes and the expansive, old trees with the dangling Spanish moss gives that old Southern charm reminiscent of the Old South of days gone by. There is something extremely alluring about the gentility of that time.

While i will miss the charms of the South when i return to my adopted home in the Northeast, i am eager to return to Philly. i have just moved from the suburbs into the city proper, so it will be a new experience for me, one i'm looking forward to with great anticipation. i love exploring and this will definitely afford me the opportunity to do plenty of that. i've moved into an area of Philly of which i have not previously had much experience.

i'll be back in Philly for 13 weeks. Each assignment is of that length. Actually i'll be there 14 weeks because i'm taking a week off between assignments.

After that i have my next planned assignments in Chicago and then Miami. Following those two assignments i have allowed my company to choose where from my list of desired locations i will go next.....i guess that's my submissive side coming out in letting them make the decision...lol




5/2/2008 6:56:38 PM
Where are all the people with imaginations? i thought that was one of the pluses of being in this lifestyle was the ability to be creative and use Y/your imagination to increase Y/your pleasure. Evidently i was under the wrong impression for the vast majority of people claiming to be in this lifestyle.



When You decide to approach a submissive, what is Your intent? Do You wish to get to know her? How she thinks, what makes her tick?
Are You in search of what You would need to do to ultimately control her and bring Y/you both optimal pleasure? Or are You simply out to bark out commands, thinking that anyone calling themselves "submissive" should bow down to Your feet and kiss them and be thankful You gave them the opportunity to do so?



If You are really out to get to know a submissive have You put any thought into what might be the best way to go about that? Now of course one must take into account that there is no one single approach that works for all submissives. However, if i may be so bold as to suggest You take into consideration the fine art of conversation? Not firing off 20 questions or saying "so tell Me about yourself." That isn't really very original and it doesn't really prompt someone to feel comfortable and open up and tell You things that really matter. Those types of things only come through listening to what someone says, responding appropriately to that and making the other person feel like there is nothing they can't talk about. Another suggestion i might add is to start with reading the person's profile and talking about things of interest to them.... and start with the vanilla things. W/we both know W/we have a common bond in the lifestyle, but is there anything past the lifestyle to sustain interest? These so-called vanilla interests can overflow into the D/s arena. For example, i have a passion for writing and language. If You can eloquently communicate with me, You will get my attention. If You can not, i will pass You over for someone who can.



So, i am issuing a challenge to all You Doms/Dommes. The next time You initiate interaction with a submissive, use Your imagination. Do something besides play 20 questions and see if You don't reap the benefit of Your effort.

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domestikitten
 
 Age: 21
 Los angeles, California