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mybottomten
This profile is in response to "mytopten". This is not my real profile (duh!) I won’t be answering mail here; that would be disingenuous. Gals, sometimes I just cringe reading your profiles, and so do many of my dominant friends. Part of me figures – well, you have to succeed or fail based on how you choose to present yourself, so why should anyone offer you advice? But then I think there is some small percentage of you that are really much better in person then you’re able to convey in your profile, for whatever the reason. Then again, I've met a lot of you in person. Make that a VERY small percentage. So, for you gals: First – please use a spell checker – put your profile into “Word” for example, spell check it and then cut and paste back into your profile. Actually, never mind that. Just write something. Anything. I'm sorry, but just being female and "submissive" isn't enough to rock my world. Second – some common grammatical errors: dominate is not a noun. For that matter, neither is submissive or dominant. Dominate is a verb. For you public school graduates, it's something you DO. Dominant and submissive are adjectives. They modify nouns, they don't replace them. If you’re “discreet”, you respect privacy – if you’re “discrete”, you come in separate parts (ugh!). “Your” refers to something that belongs to you; “you’re” is short for you are. W/we is not a word. Don't talk about yourself in the third person. The idiot who told you that "real submissives" talk that way is engaged to his hand. Don't ever, ever, EVER, refer to yourself as a "subby" [sic]. If we want to treat you like an idiot, we can. You don't need to treat yourself that way for our benefit. Third – use your profile to say something about yourself; preferably something genuine. If you have to complain, there is a journal feature (though sub complainers are usually not a turn on – sorry!) Sarcasm does not translate well online(this profile is the exception to the rule, of course). Tell me what you are looking for. If you just want to be spanked, don't waste my time by having to write to you to find that out, if I'm seeking a committed relationship. Don't write a couple of lines then say you will come back and write more. You won't. We know you are drunk and think filling out a bdsm profile is funny. It isn't. If you don't have a pic on your profile and don't tell us your weight, we think you are fat. If you are fat, say so. If you intend to actually meet anyone, they are going to find out eventually. And speaking of fat.... BBW??? Really? Look in the mirror. You are fat, obese, or morbidly obese. It is indeed possible that you are beautiful on the inside, but we will find that out for ourselves, if we happen to be into overweight women. If I called myself a "tall gorgeous man" you would think I was a stuck up idiot. And when you met me and I was five foot three and looked liked Alfred E Newman, you would also think I was a liar. Fourth – avoid bragging about what a gift your submission is, and telling us how lucky we are to have you. You aren't all that. No, all men or doms are not fakes and idiots. Just the ones you talk to. Fifth – avoid anything that starts with “I’ve been called…” I’ve been told that I’m…” That just doesn’t ring true nor sound confident, even if it is true. And don't tell us you like to walk on the beach. No one does that. Sixth – NO Cunt or boob shots. Yes, we really like those parts of you and eventually will likely want to see them, but if that is all you have to offer, then don't be surprised when you attract men who want only that. Seventh – stop warning fakers and scammers away! Do you think that works? If so…I have mint ’57 Chevy to sell you. And no, we won't send you money to relocate. Or for anything else. Eighth – avoid hyperbole and unrealistic expectations: if you’re the “perfect sub” – we’re not buying it; if you’re looking for the “perfect dom”, good luck with that (and you’ll probably scare off some of the near perfect ones that might just work out for you). Ninth – do be yourself; just relax and write down a few of your nicer attributes (we all have nice attributes…really…even sadists!) Tenth – in realistic down to earth language, say a few things about what you’re looking for – but try not to be too limiting, because you might find compatibility where you least expect it. Eleventh - As a favor to a friend, I was asked to add; On the first date, don't take out your teeth and say "You sure do have a pretty mouth." Best of luck!
3/13/2011 9:24:08 AM

To mytopten: 

you- "So happy I could inspire you.  Funny we've never met, as we live in the same town!  Imagine that coincidence."

I'm glad I made you happy.  Not so funny that we haven't met.  I suspect we move in different circles.

you- "I have had to check with my lawyer unfortunately, as you've copied verbatim much of my profile...as anyone knows who went to public school, copying is cheating!  And if you cheat online, imagine what you're doing behind your wife's back."

Actually, you should advise your lawyer to look up "satire".  What you and your lawyer are incorrectly implying is called "plagiarism", not "cheating".  And plagiarism only applies when the source is not cited, which you are on the first line of the profile.  I understand that the men you talk to cheat and lie.  Not all men do.  Perhaps you are screening your prospects poorly?  And I'm not married.

you- "A shame really, as you seem to have a small amount of writing talent - no need to copy others (and you forgot to switch a few things around, like your reference to the word "sadist")."

I have quite a large amount of writing talent, as you may have noticed in my writing circles around you.  Since copying you was the entire point of this profile, yes it was necessary.  No, I didn't forget to switch "sadist".  The sentence makes no sense when replaced with "masochist".  Also, while you and your lawyer are perusing your dictionary, look up "few".  It means more than two things, not one thing.

you- "Speaking of public school, you seem to have fallen down in the math department...perhaps you meant to write "mybottomeleven"?  Makes a subby wonder, if he can't count, what happens when the paddle comes out?  Oh dear."

No, I meant to write "mybottomten".  The eleventh item was a joke, and unrelated to my response to your profile.  And you can rest assured, since I would never be paddling any woman who referred to herself as a "subby", the issue would not arise.

you- "And speaking of math lessons, there are many more Doms looking for Fsubs here on CM than vice versa.  I agree that it makes for some unfortunate dynamics, but I didn't cause the problem.  I think really your advice (much of which didn't seem to be very useful frankly) will not be heeded, because pretty much any Fsub here is inundated with mail hourly -- even those pesky BBWs.  Please don't kill the messenger, I'm just sayin' - demand and supply; it is what it is."

What is your point?  There is more shit in a sewer than a restaurant.  Since I don't eat in sewers, it's not a concern.  The dynamics are only unfortunate because women like you judge all dominant men by the ones you talk with.  You don't get to talk with men like me.  We have standards.  The supply and demand for "Spam" doesn't affect the price of tenderloin.

you- "BTW, like so many self-deprecating social labels, we get to use the term "subby" if it makes us smile...even if we cringe when those dommy types use it.  C'est la vie...who said that life is fair? 

Gee, I haven't had this much fun on CM in months; guess I really do need to get a life."

Nowhere did I say that you could not or should not call yourselves "subbies".  I merely stated that the type of dominant man you don't get to talk to doesn't have any interest in women who use that term.  Life, and bdsm are indeed not fair.  I am gratified to have contributed to joy in your life.  I can't comment on your lack of a life, as i don't know you.
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MaitresseEliza
 
slavex23
 Age: 23
 Conway, Arkansas