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About MTK
I have reached at stage in my life where I am completely comfortable with who I am and understand what I want, as well as what works, for me in terms of a relationship. I have experienced the range of relationship types; from pure vanilla, to female lead /DS and to being with submissive girls. Along the way, I have experienced most of the things that would normally appear in my list of fantasies or shopping-style list of “kinky interests”, as well as experiencing things which I was not interested in, but which my partner was.
Some time ago now, I came to the mutually agreed end of a long-term relationship when we both, alas, came to understand that neither of us was fulfilled.
So now, like so many others, I am seeking that elusive fulfillment, but this time armed with a much better understanding of myself and what I actually need as the key foundations. Not to mention complete comfort and confidence in my sexuality and who I am, which is a deeply submissive and devoted man.
And I am not talking about the classic kinky fantasies of want-to-be slaves (although don’t get me wrong, I have wide and diverse BDSM interests and tastes), but I am talking about the core dynamic, which is the far more important thing, not the kinky games or accoutrements that come with it (although these, of course can be very nice).
For me the critical elements are a woman who knows what she wants, isn’t afraid to ask for it and then insist on getting it. In essence, someone who needs and wants to have the last and final say on any issue, discussion or decision, important or otherwise. Someone who will appreciate and allow someone to devote their entire self to pleasing her, making her comfortable, relaxed and content in all aspects of her life.
Someone who will enjoy the simple pleasure of coming home and just dropping her clothes on the floor, knowing they will be tidied up, put away and washed, exactly how she wishes. Of pushing her plate away after a meal and heading off to relax, knowing she will never have to do the washing up or lift a finger to manage the household again, if she so wishes. Of knowing that her every physical of sexual whim will be met with nothing more than a simple request. Of knowing she can settle any difference of opinion or difficult decision but simply stating her decision has been made. Of knowing she has a devoted, well rounded, socially confident and successful partner who has a good sense of fun and many interests, but who will literally (only if so desired) worship her and the ground she walks on.
But of course, experience teaches me that any relationship must have much broader foundations than the right power dynamic, or the fulfillment of any sexual interest or kink. It also requires a deeper compatibility, the capacity for good conversation, to make each other laugh, mutual interests, trust and loyalty to name a few. In my experience, without the ability to have a fun and full life outside of the DS dynamic, the DS dynamic itself is not likely to be self-sustaining. Everyone is looking for a partner in life, above all else.
Having experienced a full DS relationship in the past, I am aware and comfortable with the longer term realities. I have experienced the day to day realities when the initial excitement of a new relationship and kinky fun has settled down and the hard work, frustrations and drudgery of truly serving the needs of another becomes a day to day reality. I know the frustration of having to accept a decision you deeply disagree with that negatively impacts on you, even after pleading your case with nothing more than “yes, of course’. I know the drudgery that can come from taking care of another’s every whim and need when your wants and needs come in a distant second. I know the boredom and annoyance of doing all the house work, with little or no assistance from your partner, the self-discipline required to attentively serve your partner’s minor whims and needs when you are dead tired and wish for nothing more than a warm bed. I know the humiliation of being punished (not in a fun way, either) for something that occurred despite your best efforts, or losing a simple day to day privilege for a minor transgression.
But I also know the deep, all embracing satisfaction and fulfillment of these things as well, the kind of satisfaction and fulfillment that trumps all else. The simple pleasure of devoting yourself to one thing: serving and pleasing your partner. The pure joy of providing sexual pleasure and receiving little or none in return. The triumph of a completely satisfied and content partner, who wants for little in her day to day life. The completely natural state of simply being told what to do and having to do it.
So there you have it, I join the long conger line of others searching for fulfillment in this amazing and growing alternate / BDSM world. But this time, I know who I truly am and what I really want …
In the mean time, I am interested in play partners with whom I can get my kink on and have some fun.
… outside of that impossible dream, just looking to strike up interesting conversations and correspondence with my fellow lurkers in the BDSM world ... |
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