MsWitchy

A few self-serving questions and conversations with friends has led me to examine my ideas regarding slave-hood, and my idea of the slave as a "whole."

First, defining what a Leather slave is and what a Leather slave is not is the most important: A slave is the property and tool of it's Master and exists for the sole purpose of adding to and enriching His life. It is not His girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse, though this does and can happen. In fact, some great success in relationships are founded on this very principal. However, in the Leather lifestyle, this is simply not done. The romanticized ideals of an M/s relationship do not exist in the Leather society and while the protocols and ideals sometimes blend with the BDSM world, they are not the same. In the Leather society, a slave is nothing more than what was stated above but is one of the most valued and respected pieces of property that a Master can own.

Most persons entering the Leather lifestyle do so as adults and therefore are filled with both flaws and assets that are unique and special to them. This means that those entering into the Leather community as a slave have preexisting ideals and understandings of who and what they are. This is not a bad thing, and can in fact aid a perspective Master to no end. Slaves do not always know they are slaves, and in fact, can be both demanding and aggressive in the majority of their daily life. Some slaves have personalties that stand in such contrast to what most consider proper for slave-mindset, that they are often forced into a Top or Master role (gender neutral). However, in their personal mindset, away from outside influences and pressures, a slave carries a particular thought with them at all times: Desire. Desire to serve (community, Master, friends, family). Desire to better themselves. Passion and compassion for those around them. Thoughts and ideals and their own moral compass.

This brings about the idea of a slave as a "whole" and what the implications of it's entering an M/s relationship.

A "whole" slave is one that takes care of it's basic and not-so-basic needs long before it ever meets it's Master. They are able to survive (not always thrive) on their own, make choices that are SOMETIMES beneficial to themselves and others, and work hard to achieve goals that it has laid out for itself.

The "whole" slave works to better itself long before being told to by someone else. It educates itself in both the Vanilla world and the other. It pushes itself for friendships, pushes itself to develop networks and contacts and actively seeks out human contact. It has desires and passions that it enjoys, shares with others, and teaches others.

A "whole" slave doesn't just pay the rent, drive a car, and goes grocery shopping. A "whole" slave is one who seeks to better itself, thinks for itself, and has a desire to discover the differences between daily nuances.

This does not mean that "whole" slaves do not come with emotional or psychological disturbances, as they are human and often have had traumatic experiences. A "whole" slave, however, will desire to rid itself of any lasting strings and will work to put the experience behind it, with finality.

How does this effect the M/s relationship?

A slave entering into an M/s relationship gives up all rights and control of it's person and life to it's Master and does so because they have an innate desire to serve. However, this does not mean that they loose who and what they were to begin with, and in fact often is only enhanced by such relationships.

A slave can be taught to cook, and sew, and to cook, but the desire to learn and the desire to please must be innate. This means that the desires it held before entering slavery are often a best representation of what type of slave it will become. A well rounded slave can do many of the tasks required, and do them effortlessly--flawlessly. But it is the "whole" slave, the slave whom desires to better themselves through service to it's Master, that completes tasks with passion.

A slave whom is "whole" is not just a tool for the Master to use at His will, but is also His companion and confidant, and is often found by His side. And while a slave's only thought is to it's Master, a "whole" slave is capable of much more than service. They are capable of active and stimulating conversation, thinking and acting on their own (within the limits of Master's expectations), and can provide an endless source of Pride to Master for it's actions.

A "whole" slave, one whom already had desires and passions, are often a challenge to break as it's confidence and mind-set are that of stubbornness and determination. Should problems arise, such as insecurities regarding physical appearance, a "whole" slave would not allow them to become problematic for it's Master. Rather they would use the same desire that it had displayed in the past to approach it's Master, admit fault, and ask for guidance. Often times, a Master will recognize that there is little He can do and that the "fixing" of the slave must come from within it's own psyche.

A "whole" slave is one that does not NEED it's Master, but rather desires to be at His side, and works hard to better His life without causing upset or strife. A "whole" slave is still very much the property, mentally and physically and spiritually, that of it's Master, but is a full and unique person long before the two ever meet.

What does this bring to an M/s relationship, when a Leather slave is property and little more?

That's just it... A Leather slave is not just property...but rather a while human being whom has turned over control of everything that it is and isn't to the Master for use in any manner He chooses. The desires that a slave had prior to it's slavery can still be found and are often very evident. However, a "whole" slave--one whom has stood alone and is able to function fully in the world--is always likely to transfer those desires (or use the innate desire) to serve it's Master with grace, dignity, honor, and trust.

For a while now, I've found that I've been exploring who I am and what I am--and I'm discovering that there is still so much more to learn about myself, it's scary. 

This isn't just about submission. Face it, "submissive women" are a dime a dozen. They come, they go. They have "Velcro Collars" that are so very important--until they aren't getting what they want, and they move on to the next Dom/Master. And, I think at one point, I was like that. I honestly thought that being collared was the epitome of this lifestyle. Everyone wanted to give or get a collar, and I wanted one to fit in with the crowed. And I've learned that this idea, this on/off thing, isn't me.

The truth is, that's not what this lifestyle is about. It's not what I'm about. It's not what submission, true submission, is about. If submission were about being in a collar, I'd be in one by now. If submission were about being cute and girlie and adorable, I'd be in that mode forever. Submission is hard, and isn't something that can be forced. It isn't a role or a mask we wear, and it should be something that fills us with pride. If submission were meant to be temporary, then it wouldn't be submission. It comes from inside, inside me, and is given to those whom have earned my trust, my respect.

As humans, we are always changing; Our ideals, our values, our self-image. And none of that is more true then when in this lifestyle. We encounter people who impact our thinking, both positively and negatively (and sometimes, not at all). 

I've started thinking, wondering, what my ideal of submission is--and what it isn't--and I've come to the following conclusions about myself: 

I can be extremely submissive, when not forced into it. 

I honestly believe that collars are NOT a joke--it's deeper than a marriage, because of what both parties give up to be in the relationship.

I am an aggressive person, and sometimes very child-like.

I believe that my ideas of submission, and how I submit are not always going to be the same as others--and I'm not forcing my opinions on anyone. Please don't force them on me. 

I respect intelligence, and respond to it accordingly. 

I believe that you have to be right with yourself before giving life to another to control.

I have learned that reading the theory and understanding it is much different than living it.

I understand that slavery is 50% mindset, 40% desire, and 10% spiritual. 

I have an intense disregard for those who use this lifestyle as a way to abuse others.

I am most likely a slave at heart, though most do not see it. 

I am insecure in so many ways, but I have the confidence to over-come. 

I am who I am, and am much stronger than for which people give me credit. 

Who is Witchy? 

Witchy is my natural self, when the pressure of the world falls away. She is bright yet ditsy, overly intelligent and yet a valley girl, sluttish but ethical, and overall, totally happy. 

And she was exposed this weekend to a friend whom had never really seen her. This is a friend whose opinion is very important to me, and one whom I've come to rely on to always speak the truth to me. And when He didn't judge her, and in fact praised her, and demanded to see more of her, Witchy was stunned. He then praised my one of my closest friends for bringing out a Witchy He rarely sees, and on the ride home told me that i should always be thankful for the safe place that Witchy has when around close friends. 

I have few friends whom have seen Witchy lately, and fewer still, those whom allow me to relax enough to be myself. To those friends, Witchy is more than a bratty submissive. There are three, in particular, whom have been holding me tightly at night and keeping me grounded--though i kick and scream--and are keeping Witchy from being locked away from the world. I talk to them daily. 

Witchy is me. My natural self. She is not the persona that i put on at work (though, she does leak in from time to time), nor is she the persona that i put on when i'm at home with my room-mate. She is not the quiet and reserved person that is prone to serious thoughts and actions. She is the one whom takes over the [name withheld] personality that makes strides at work and pulls the evil two-sided bitch from within that is hard to let go. When this happens, Witchy becomes buried and trapped in a world of narrow minded insecurities.

She is submissive (though, some would argue otherwise), slavish, bratty, SAM-y, and open to exploring new ideas and ideals. She is mature yet child-like, bouncy yet quick to reservation, and she is the person that is strong enough to lean on while being weak enough to lean back.

Witchy is the person i want to me and the person i'm quite capable of being when not forced to deal with the drama of real-life. And while i know that drama is unavoidable, i no longer wish to participate, and no longer wish to have Witchy trampled down by those who seem to want to force her away. 

So, thank you to my friends who help to make Witchy survive and thanks to those friends who let me bring her out without judgement and without bias!