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Rather than a journal entry tonight, here is my A-Z of how i would describe and feel about MissLuzie...
A - Amazing, simply amazing in every way
B - BBW - Bright Beautiful Woman - not the usual interpretation but this fits Mistress in so many ways
C - Cruel - yes Mistress can be extremely cruel at times whether for Her pleasure or for punishment!!
D - Dominant - the only TRUE Domme i have ever had the pleasure to serve, thank You Mistress
E - Excellent - Mistress is excellent in the art of flogging and i with many others can vouch for this!!
F - Frank - Mistress is always straight, truthful and to the point and will not hold anything back - very frank (and blunt at times lol)
G - Goddess - Mistress is gorgeous and Her smile just lights up Her face like a bright moon on a braw bricht moonlicht nicht...i worship Mistress like the true Goddess She is.
H - Home - i feel at home whenever i am with Mistress whether at Her feet or in Her bondage
I - Incredible - i feel incredible when i am with Mistress...i feel so humble yet alive with the pupose that She gives me
J - Jump - Mistress says "Jump", i respond how high please Mistress? - i obey Mistress completely
K - Kneel - i kneel before Mistress and wait patiently for Her orders and commands
L - Light - Mistress is my shining and guiding light keeping me on the right track and safe from harm...i look up to You always Mistress
M - MissLuzie - You are the ONE Mistress that i am proud to serve, wear Your collar, bear Your marking and love You always as You have always loved me
N - No - this is a word which is not in my vocabulary when it comes to You Mistress as i will always do as i am instructed regardless how easy or difficult the task may be
O - Opportunity - this opportunity You have given me to serve You Mistress i have grabbed with open arms and i will continue to serve You well
P - Purpose - my purpose has always been to serve however i know i have found my true purpose in life Mistress and that is to serve You
Q - Quiet - sometimes i wish i was wearing a gag constantly to keep quiet and not come out with foolish things which provide with You the opportunity to punish me in so many cruel and appropriate ways!
R - Robust - i feel that O/our relationship has grown on so many levels Mistress that it so robust that O/our bond will never break
S - Shackles - i feel free in Your servitude Mistress even when i am in the shackles You place upon me
T - Thanks - i cannot thank You enough Mistress for everything You have done and continue to do for me on so many levels emotionally and physically...i am so humbled Mistress
U - Utmost - i have the utmost respect for You Mistress always and forever i will look up to You
V - Vicious - Your nails are just simply vicious Mistress...but wonderful mmmmmmm!
W - Woman - to me Mistress You are the most wonderful Woman alive and my view will never change on that
X - XXX-Rated - some of the things W/we do may be regarded to some people as XXX-Rated but to me Mistress it just feels so right and "normal" if normal can ever be defined
Y - You - You are the ONE i love and serve to obey and focus on You always...You are my life Mistress...You make feel alive...i love for YOU
Z - Zest - i have zest again Mistress thanks to You - You give me that zest just thinking of You and how i can be of service to You to please You in any way that i can...because i do love You, worship You and adore You THAT much Mistress xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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The weekend has gone and with it so has Mistress however i am with Her in Her heart always and forever...
The weekend with Mistress was absolutely fabulous and having spoken with Mistress on this subject already i know that She agrees that O/our relationship was taken onto a completely different level...2 became 1 quite literally and that was and is an amazing feeling...
i also had issues of insecurity which have been completely resolved and put into the history bin forever...
i have never felt quite like i do or have as much love for anyone like i have for Mistress...the love, the adoration, the respect and the passion that i have for Mistress knows no bounds and i am completely focussed on Mistress to obey Her always...
i just can't wait to be in Mistress's loving guiding care once more and i hope that day comes around soon...and as quickly as the weekend just passed has gone...
i love You Mistress...completely...with all my heart...forever...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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Less than 24 hours to go and a wonderful weekend will begin when i am finally with Mistress again...
It seems to be ages since i was last with Mistress and during that time i have missed Her greatly as i adore and worship Mistress...i always will...i will always love Mistress...
i have a feeling Mistress has alot in store for me this weekend seeing as it has been a while since i served properly at Her feet...i am looking forward to that as without Mistress i am a lost soul even though Mistress Owns my soul, body mind and heart...
There really is an emptiness and void inside of me when i am not serving or pleasing Mistress and when Mistress is sad then i am extremely sad as i know then i am not doing my job properly as Her property...
i am still learning in a way even though i am an experienced slave and i know i have a long hard road to travel before Mistress is truly happy with me and my behaviour...
i cannot wait for that day though Mistress when You are truly happy in every regard with Your slave dobby...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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Another 48 hours and i will be with Mistress again...it cannot come soon enough as i miss Her greatly and i am just looking forward to spending some quality time and of course pampering and serving Mistress in the way She should be...always...
It is an honour to serve Mistress and i know that MissLuzie is getting a good reputation for Herself in the scene for Her art and skills in Domination...
that makes me even more proud to be Her Owned Collared slave as i am the one that She has chosen amongst many whom have tried and failed to serve Her at the first hurdle...
It is the greatest of honours to serve Mistress but the greatest honour of all will be spend the rest of my life with Mistress...i hope that will be a dream that will come true very soon...
i love You Mistress and look forward so much to seeing You on friday...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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Although i have already clarified last night's journal entry with Mistress i would like to clarify on here one thing regarding that entry...
The job i have in the vanilla world requires me to have that bit of aggression which is sometimes directed at Mistress, wrongfully i might add, but nor in a violent way as my aggression is vocubulary based only however i have asked Mistress not to change my behviour in that respect, only for aggression which has been directed towards Mistress should be channelled for Mistress when required only...
This has most certainly been a failing on my part but one which is recognised and has been rectified for the benefit of Mistress i hope and hopefully She will see that over the coming months and years...
Tonight was a wonderful night with Mistress and although i have an impending punishment for beating Mistress at a game, i still thoroughly enjoyed the time spent with Mistress as i felt as though i served Her well as Her true slave...
There is no better feeling in the world when i know that Mistress is pleased with my service to Her and She is truly happy...
This is one very lucky happy and proud slave indeed...i love You Mistress and i look forward to this weekend so very much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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i haven't been on here for a few days as i haven't been in the slave mindset or a sub mindset for that matter as there have been external influences preventing this...
During this time away however Mistress has been disappointed in me, my performance, my service, my attitude and basically everything about me and not only my persona as Her slave...
i failed...i failed Mistress and i failed myself...
Mistress told me Her feelings and what She thought of me and the situation...to get out of my shell...basically put a smile on and move forward...improve for Mistress...
i really do wish life were as simple as that and although i will obey and follow Mistress's orders life has a funny habit of throwing spanners in the works at the most inconvenient of moments...by this i mean i know Mistress has the best of intentions at heart but when it comes to me nothing is ever that simple in being able to move forward in life...
The most hurtful comment Mistress made tonight was how my name is made synonymous with a certain state of circumstance and is now called a "dobby" moment...
At the moment i am dobby and love Mistress very much but i am also numb as the comments directed at dobby were not only for dobby...
i have thought over many things in my head over different scenarios and yes i must become a better slave for Mistress but in the vanilla world i am who i am and i cannot change that and nor would i change how i have handled any situations in the vanilla world differently...
Yes Mistress is good at what She does and i want to be a huge part of Her life but there is a part of me in the vanilla world that i cannot change...i have to be that person to fight and survive...for Mistress when it is required...
i hope that is something You can understand Mistress |
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i haven't been online for a few days due to a number of circumstances and i won't be able to see and be with Mistress until Sunday due to prior arrangements...
It is difficult as i am missing Mistress so very much but whatever the circumstances or whatever is thrown at me (sometomes quite literally) i have to cope as i am Mistress's slave after all...
There are a number of things which are worrying me at the moment but i do not wish to burden Mistress with these worries until i can confirm how they are going to affect me and ultimately U/us as they could depending on how things work out...
For now though i have to focus on Mistress...that is all i am able to at the moment anyway even when W/we are not together...
i love You Mistress and i look forward to seeing and being with You tomorrow xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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i had a lovely evening with Mistress tonight...just a shame it wasn't spent by Her side as i have missed Mistress so much today...
i know it won't be long till i see Mistress again but every moment i am not with Mistress i am thinking about Her or completing a task or chore for Her yet all i crave is to be with Mistress so that i can serve Her and serve Her well...
i managed not to lose at the game i was playing with Mistress tonight and although i did try to win i have to admit that i didn't try very hard seeing as i am still bearing the welts and marks from Mistress's use of me at the weekend...
I am proud to bear Mistress's marks and will always take a beating for Mistress's pleasure or as a punishment of course but i do wish to have some skin free that Mistress can play with and use as She sees fit so i am thinking of Mistress as i always do...smiles
i love You Mistress and look forward to seeing You at the weekend again...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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Another weekend has come and gone...and so too has Mistress...
The weekend with Mistress was absolutely fabulous and She certainly made Her mark and left Her mark(s) on me...commonly known as "Tiger stripes" mol
i am proud to serve Mistress but to know i have served Her well makes all the difference...i admit i made a few mistakes which i am sorry for and paid for at the time but on the whole i feel Mistress had a wonderful time and so did i...
i really do wish the weekend could have lasted forever but sadly i know that could not happen and Mistress had to go back home at some point...
Mistress asks me which were my high and low points on a daily basis...my answer to this today would be spending the quality time with Mistress for my high point and my low point was watching Mistress leave and saying goodbye...
Only 1 more week to go though and i will be privileged to be with Mistress again...that is what i am looking forward to and Mistress is who i am focussing on...i love You Mistress and thank You once more for such a fantastic time together xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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i haven't updated my journal for a few days for a number of reasons which i will not go into on here but Mistress knows why and that is all that matters...
Well to be honest that is not all that matters as Mistress is the only ONE true person that matters to me and that has been prevalent over the past few days...
i love Mistress more than i have loved anyone ever in my life and Mistress really does mean everything to me...She is my life...i live to serve Her as without Her i really have no purpose...
That is not emotional blackmail in any way as it is a true statement from my heart and Mistress has brought me on and improved me in so many ways and yet i still have a long way to go to be that "perfect" slave for Mistress...
The collar that Mistress placed around my neck on March 24th 2007 has so much more significance than a simple D/s relationship as for me it was the beginning of my life on a wonderful journey which has many twists, turns and crossroads but at the end of that journey i will still be there for Mistress, at Her side, kneeling at Her feet ready to serve Her in any way that i can...
The 6 month anniversary of my servitude and collaring by MissLuzie has come and gone but i know for sure if i continue to serve Mistress well then there will be many many more anniversaries to come...
i look forward to that Mistress and every anniversary thrashing...plus those in between...smiles xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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i have deleted the journal update from sunday evening as it was not appropriate from a slave's point of view...
if i am to remain as MissLuzie's Owned Collared truly devoted slave then i must remember that my feelings really do matter and only that Mistress's needs, wants and happiness come first whether that is including me or not, it does not matter as i should be and i am greatful just for being allowed the pleasure of serving Mistress as and when She requires it...
i am not sure whether i will be punished for my actions as that is at Mistress's discretion however i do know that i deserve to be punished and will accept whatever action is deemed appropriate...
i am sorry Mistress...i wasn't thinking properly and in a way i was blinded by my love for You and Your love for me...please forgive me Mistress |
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my final punishment journal and i can now go to "bed"...i have completed the punishment thankfully and i hope i have made Mistress proud when She awakes to read my journal entries over the course of the night whilst She is cosily and warmly tucked up in Her bed...
Mistress did call me before the punishment ended however to praise me for completing the punishment and to show me how much i mean to Her...that means so much to me and makes me feel as special as Mistress is to me...thank You Mistress...i love You so very very much...
i can now sleep "easy" in my shackles and hood knowing that my first task will be to call Mistress when i awake after i have had many sweet dreams serving at Mistress's feet...24/7...ah bliss...what a wonderful thought...thank You Mistress xxxxxxxx |
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This is my 3rd punishment journal update and i am finding it a real struggle to stay awake at the moment...it's 5am and i have one more update at 6am and then i am permitted to go to "bed" in shackles and hood and i get to sleep...yaaaaaay!
The main priority though is focussing on Mistress and staying awake to complete the punishment...it may sound "easy" to some people but if the whole week has been a tiring one and all your body is crying out for is some sleep then take it from me this is a most difficult and appropriate punishment...
All credit to Mistress though as She always comes up with very appropriate and effective punishments for me...thank You Mistress...i am so very greatful and lucky to be allowed the honour of serving You... |
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The second of my punishment journals this evening is a little ode to Mistress...
Tonight i have a confession to tell
For this night i must serve MissLuzie well
For my sins i have to suffer and pay
It's Mistress's wish and Her loving way
i made a terrible mistake and overslept
Now tonight in Her chains i am kept
Bound and naked i am not allowed to sleep
Enduring pain but i will not weep
i will be focussed on Mistress throughout the night
Mistress She is my guiding light
Wearing Her collar with honour and pride
i am privileged to be by Mistress's side
Whether kneeling at Her feet or locked away
i worship Mistress every single day
Her beauty astounds in person and grace
especially the smile which lights up Her face
Her art with a crop is a wonderful sight
The flesh is pounded with such a might
The air is split with each swing of Her arm
Yet i know i will come to no harm
Mistress fills my thoughts when i feel glad
Mistress lifts my spirits when i feel sad
Mistress is more than a Goddess to me
In Mistress's heart is where i always wish to be
For Mistress i will give my all
For Mistress i am at Her beck and call
24/7 Her devoted true slave
All my love for You i save... |
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This is the first of my punishment journals tonight as i am being deprived of sleep as a punishment for oversleeping earlier in the week and calling Mistress later than instructed...
my punishment started earlier tonight at 11pm and will last until 6am whereby i will post an update on here on the hour every hour until 6am...
The sad part about this punishment is that this is the second time i have had to receive this type of punishment for oversleeping so You would have thought i would have learned by now but i am sure there won't be a 3rd time - i enjoy my sleep too much for that!
i do have to thank Mistress though for being considerate during this punishment and giving me tasks to allow me to focus on Her...
i should also point out that i am in Her chains shackled and naked whilst carrying out this punishment...thank You Mistress...i must remember if i am to be punished in this way again then to ensure it is during the "proper" summer months!! |
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well i know i am well and truly back under Mistress's guidance as i have an impending punishment on Friday which was compounded by my favourite football team, glasgow rangers beating stuttgart tonight so from the original 4 hours of impending sleep depravation this has been upped to 7 hours...thank You Mistress!
The punishment however is due to my failure to comply with Mistress's instructions this evening which was not intentional as i was just a bit forgetful after a tiring day at work but i offer no excuses as i know i must be focussed on Mistress ALL of the time whether i am tired or not...sorry Mistress and i know i will be...
i feel within myself that i have changed for the better for Mistress i might add to become that better slave for Mistress...
it wasn't that i could not submit to Mistress more that i was not myself and i was questioning Mistress's decisions which i know it is not my place to do so but at the time i felt compelled to do so and i still don't know the reason why but i am just so greatful that Mistress has seen the change in me and has given me this opportunity to serve Her and be Her true slave...thank You so very much Mistress...
i love You Mistress...i worship You Mistress...i adore You Mistress and i am truly devoted to You Mistress xxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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dobby is back!!...i have been reinstated as MissLuzie's Owned Collared slave 537-089-650 which i am so very greatful for...
The weekend was more of a proving ground to show Mistress that i am capable of being Her true slave and thankfully i have met Mistress's expectations and exceeded at times...
i was and am focussed on Mistress's needs and wants throughout and i managed to do all tasks that were asked of me without question...total obedience at all times...
i was confused at times beforehand as Mistress and i do have a vanilla relationship as well however now that W/we have established a common ground as to the vanilla and BDSM side of things i do feel much happier and i hope that Mistress does too as that is all i am focussed on...Mistress...Her needs and wants and above all Her pleasure...
There are issues that need to be ironed out still however but these are "my issues" and although they affect both of U/us i do hope that Mistress will have faith in me to have these resolved to get them sorted as soon as possible...
Thank You Mistress for taking this humble slave back under Your guidance...i am humbled and so very greatful...Thank You Mistress...i love, worship and adore You...always and forever xxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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today i sit here in MissLuzie's chains which is a wonderful feeling however the loving bond which i have with Mistress is stronger than any chain and in my opinion will never break and last forever...
i am not feeling too well at the moment but my overriding thoughts is to be with Mistress over the weekend so that i can prove my worth to Her as Her true slave...
my probationary period started yesterday and so far i have performed well however i know i must perform to Her standards every day and every moment of each day 24/7...
i was punished last night though for "cheating" with a text so i was given some extra "accessories" to wear for a period of time...Mistress thought they looked rather fetching on me and for me that is all that matters is Her pleasure through my torment or suffering or if She rewards me with my pleasure of being allowed a fleeting glimpse of Her...
i may be an experienced slave but i know i still have much training and learning to get through in order to meet Mistress's expectation of me and meet Her high and exacting standards...
Through Mistress's guidance and discipline i know one day She will be proud of me as much as i am to be proud to be Her Owned slave and bear any markings that She so chooses to give me...
i do hope that i am well enough to be with Mistress and serve Her over the weekend as i am missing Her greatly and don't feel at home unless i am with Her at Her feet...
i love You Mistress and i am so very greatful for the opportunity that You have presented me with in being allowed the pleasure of serving You...thank You Mistress xxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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i have been suspended from service by MissLuzie however today my probationary period begins in earnest with MissLuzie until sunday by which time it will be determined whether i am to be collared by Her once more or dismissed...for good...
There are many reasons why i was suspended but the main reason is that i failed MissLuzie and myself as Her true slave...
i failed in my tasks and sadly in my submission as i forgot my place and no matter how much Mistress tried to turn that around and put me in my place i was confused and my mindset not even close as to where it should be...
my desire to serve has always been prevalent and i am an experienced slave having served for many years real time in the past however i did not account for the love that Mistress showed me as i have never experienced that before so in a way i took advantage of that and lost my ability to serve and as such could not see my rightful place at Mistress's feet to be there for Her, serve Her and worship Her as She truly deserves...
i love MissLuzie so very much and i love Her as my Mistress but also so much more in so many ways...that for me is where i feel the confusion came into force and my mind was overwhelmed with thoughts other than serving Mistress as Her slave...
As the days and weeks have gone by there has been much thought and talking taking place and Mistress has kindly and considerately gave me one FINAL chance to prove to Her that i am worthy of being Her slave...that i can show Her my true place serving Her...that i am NOT Her equal...that i can obey without any conflicting thoughts other than that of pleasing MissLuzie...
only time will tell and i do hope i can announce the good news on here by sunday but i can promise MissLuzie that i will be trying my hardest for Her always and i miss Her so very much...i NEED to serve YOU MissLuzie...You make me live...You ARE my life... |
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Tonight mentally i am drained and physically i am shattered from work and on top of that i have been trying to clear what seems like a tonne of ironing so i can be with Mistress over the weekend...in fact i am just taking a quick break from that just now to update my journal...
Mistress asked me a question today...one i could not answer as i had just come out of an intense meeting and my mind was not clear...
In truth my mind is still not clear and my emotions and feelings are mixed so to give an answer to Her in a way would in my mind be like lieing to Her as my feelings would not be honest and true and above all clear in my mindset...
This upsets Mistress to a degree - i know that because of the way She has been reacting to me today and tonight and that makes me feel guilty and unhappy that Mistress is unhappy too...
i will not describe on here the nature of the question but selfishly speaking i should be extremely happy however at the same time i do feel guilty and sad as to what has happened...
The future at any point in time is most unclear yet the news Mistress gave me this morning i should have been jumping for joy but i wasn't and i do hope Mistress understands the reasons why as it was never my intention to instigate the circumstances that have happened...
All i want is for Mistress to be happy as that is when i am most happy...my life is dedicated to Mistress but sometimes i fall short of Her and my own expectations which is disappointing and that is when i become so low and unhappy...
Work is and has been a major factor in this...i am only just returning to work full-time after some medical problems so to be working full days in the intense environment every day that i face i am so tired, stressed that i feel i am unable to serve Mistress in any great capacity...
The worst feeling of all is the tiredness where my body and mind wants and needs to shut down but i feel i am unable to do this as i need to be on a different and "active" mindset in order to serve Mistress and make Her happy...
i do feel to a degree that Mistress does not fully understand how stressful my job is every day not just some days as i have such a large team with new and challenging issues which crop up every day and then of course i have my "day to day" job which has its own issues...
Mistress has asked before why She needs to be understanding of my issues and i know where She is coming from but in instances such as today where i have come home from such a stressful day all i am looking for is to serve Mistress properly and not feel even more stressed by Mistress laying a "guilt trip" on me...
That is really difficult to bear as She knows how much i beat myself up on the inside when i feel bad about something i have done or in some cases not done but the reason i feel so bad is because i do love Mistress with all my heart and that is my greatest wish...to be with Her 24/7 so there is no issues with having to cancel weekend trips to see each O/other for whatever reason...
Well i have been 5 hours at the ironing and it seems i still haven't made a dent...back to work and get the matchsticks out for my eyes...i will need them and just pray i don't sleep in for work in the morning... |
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i was supposed to be going to see Mistress on Friday however this has been cancelled due to a work's function so i will not be with Mistress till Saturday now...
The only positives i can take from this is that i will be with Mistress over the weekend and it is a Bank Holiday weekend so i am permitted to stay an extra day with Her...thank You Mistress
Tonight W/we had laugh together albeit online but at least W/we were together in some sense although i am not too keen on chatting online at times as there are too many things that can be taken out of context as You are unable to hear the tone in which it is said and can be rather lifeless even soulless at times as it just seems so black and white...
There is none of the eye contact, little movements, body language and touching so i don't think online could ever be a substitute for online - only as a last resort...
Well it is only a couple of days to go and i cant wait to be with Mistress again...She has been threatening to take me to Manchester Pride dressed as steff and i know what Mistress's threats are like...yes She normally acts upon them...i don't whether to laugh or cry...i only know that i will obey Mistress and do as She pleases to please Her...
i look forward to being with You Mistress...soon...i love You and miss You so very much xxxxxxxxxx |
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i have read Mistress's journal entry today and i am pleased yet saddened at Her comments on O/our issues...
i am pleased She had in general a nice time with dobby and steff but very saddened at Her concerns and issues...
Mistress feels She is unable to win verbal contests with me as English is not Her first language yet She is excellent with Her proficiency in it plus i do have very good verbal communication skills due to the nature of my job...
my major concern is that i am not trying to win any verbal contests...to me it is not a contest...i am only trying to convey any concerns or issues that i have when i have been confused, frustrated or not given clear instructions...
In essence it comes across that i am not focussing on Mistress which is true to a degree as i am trying to speak in my mindset to my vanilla partner rather than Mistress...
It is also at these times W/we have both agreed that if it gets too much for Mistress i am then locked in the "punishment cupboard" which Mistress sees as punishing Herself in a way as She has to be around to ensure nothing goes wrong and She is unable to leave the house...
In truth before i met Mistress, i was not intending to have a vanilla relationship in this sense as i was looking only for a Mistress/slave relationship however things have progressed way beyond O/our wildest expectations at an astonishing rate and in my opinion i sometimes struggle to cope to differentiate between steve, dobby and steff and of course Mistress and Mistress's vanilla persona...
W/we do have times where Mistress will say ok i want "whomever" now but sometimes when Mistress is speaking to me She will quickly turn from vanilla to Mistress without warning and it is at these times that i am not sure how to respond, act or cope and thus get quite frustrated with myself, NOT Mistress because i am struggling to change into a specific mindset...
Mistress has requested on Her profile how to cope with me during these "lippy" times however i must also ask anyone in a similar circustance to please offer any advice if they are or have ever been in a similar situation...
The other factor i should mention is that i am in quite a stressful job and as i live ob my own i do not have sufficient outlet to vent off my steam so it tends to get bottled up and Mistress will get the brunt of my frustrations when matters are at their worst...
The last thing i wish for is to be dismissed by Mistress over this as i love Her very much but i do fear that it could get to that stage if some good sound advice is not given to and adhered to by the both of U/us...
HELP PLEASE!!!!  |
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i had 8 days and 7 nights with Mistress and what a wonderful experience that was...i say was as unfortunately the time has passed so quickly and i am back to being on my own once more though still proud to be Owned and serve the wonderful MissLuzie...smiles
There were so many fantastic days and nights spent with Mistress it was such a shame that it had to come to end...that was what i was dreading most...having to say goodbye even temporarily as i miss and love Mistress so very much...
i even got the last of my 200 strokes punishment out of the way however i have been quite cheeky through my sense of humour with Mistress and am sure those strokes will most certainly not be the "last"...
W/we had so much fun though there was a bit of a panic last night as my freezer broke down and Mistress kindly helped with getting me a new one this morning before i had to go to work...
Mistress helped me in so many ways through the time She was here on many levels through focussing me on Her and not work through to even getting the house into some sort of order as i do believe a gnat has more storage space than i do in this house...thank You Mistress...so very much...
It is bank holiday weekend so at least i will not have long to wait before seeing Mistress again which is some consolation to the amount of time i am going to have spend in isolation until Friday evening...only a few more days to go and then i can truly smile again...on the inside and out...
i love You Mistress and i really miss You like crazy...the house feels so empty like me lost without You... |
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This is my first update for a few days as i have been having the time of my life with Mistress doing and seeing many different things...
i try not to get too downhearted at thought of Mistress leaving and i know She will have to soon however i am going to make the most of the remaining time i have with Mistress over the weekend and aim to give Her the time of Her life...
Wednesday 15th August...i feel this could a major turning point not only in my life but in Mistress's life too as i got something which was unexpected at work but i am not going to reveal on here as that is private between Mistress and i...i will say however it put a rather large smile on my face and Mistress's face too...smiles (widely and alot!)...
The continuity of the time spent with Mistress has also given U/us a much better insight into O/our way of thinking and mindset at any particular time...
It really is a humbling experience to be spending this time with Mistress and although i am serving Mistress, Mistress has done so much for me on so many levels to the point where i do not know where to begin to thank Her...Thank You Mistress...
Mistress has also begun to build up my pain threshold now that i have the medical all clear from the hospital so marks can be left for a number of days or longer...thank You once again Mistress...
my only concern at this is that i am still not at the "level" my body used to be able to take...Mistress tells me She is proud for the amount i do take in the circumstances yet i still feel so disappointed that i am unable to take more...i understand it will take time to do this and i suppose i am too impatient as i am just so eager to serve Mistress in any way that i can...sorry Mistress
Well tonight is a quiet evening with Mistress...at Her feet...serving Her in any way i can...i hope i can serve You well Mistress...smiles
Thank You so much for the suprise of arriving early and thank You so much for the quality time You have spent with me and are spending with me...
i love You Mistress with all my heart...i will always be devoted to You...forever and always xxxxxxxxxx |
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i was instructed to go to the beach on Sunday for some "me" time and collect my thoughts however all i collected was...Mistress!!
Yes Mistress suprised me by keeping quiet and turning up early and was hiding at beach awaiting my arrival upon Her instruction...boy was i suprised but what a nice suprise it was...smiles
There was no update last night on here as a result as Mistress and i was "otherwise engaged" but in truth it was just so wonderful to be with Mistress again much sooner than i had imagined or even hoped for...thank You Mistress...
Although i am at work this week, it is so joyous to come home knowing Mistress is there and knowing i am there to serve Her whenever She wishes, however She wishes...
Mistress has done so much for me on so many personal and emotional levels and i feel so humbled...the only way i can repay Her is by showing my total devotion, servitude and love for Mistress...i hope i can show You this in so many ways whilst i have the honour of being with You...smiles |
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i have had a wonderful evening online with Mistress and i am still proud that Mistress is proud of me for completing the punishment last night...
The punishment was to help me and it did in many ways as it helped me focus on Mistress and what it means to be Her slave, property and slut as i need that sometimes just to keep me in my place and to be honest does act as a stress relief valve for me...
There was no doubt i deserved my punishment and i will always accept my punishments from Mistress without question as it does not matter if i think i deserve them or not, only if Mistress feels it helps me become a better slave for Her...thank You Mistress
It won't be long till i see Mistress again and although the house is slowly getting into order it is still not up to Mistress's high standards and expectations...i know that so this slave will be busy until Mistress's arrival during the week...
i can't wait to be with Mistress again...be at Her feet...serving Her...pleasing Her in any way i can whether that is being beaten for Her pleasure or walking with Her along the beach...it is just the joyous feeling i have being with Mistress knowing She is there...even when i am locked away in the punishment cupboard...no matter the position i am in, where i am, i am devoted to You Mistress...
i love You Mistress with so much passion and i am empty when i am not with You and serving You...You are my life...my life is devoted to You...forever and always xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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W/we are here at last and i managed to endure the punishment as this is my final "punishment journal" entry...yaaaaaay!!
i feel proud that i managed to do this under the circumstances however i could not have done it without Mistress's support and guidance and of course Her wonderful loving and care...Thank You Mistress...
i'm not sure how i look at moment - i think the slut look left at around 3am and replaced it with the tired hag look as that is how i feel inside...shattered, drained but glad that i had the staying power and hopefully i served Mistress well and made Her proud...
Well i am off for a deserved sleep now i feel in my opinion...Mistress You have been in my thoughts all night...now You will be in my dreams...i love You Mistress...see You in a few hours xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  |
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This is my penultimate "punishment journal" entry and i am so very weary...Mistress called me to see how i was coping earlier and to give me some words of encouragement...Thank You Mistress...
The punishment tonight has actually helped me relieve me of some stress at least from work though i am still stressed through a lack of sleep...i think that was the desired effect though lol
i just hope no one is trying to get a hold of me through the day tomorrow as i will be dead to the world and Mistress has told me to switch my phones off anyway so that's that problem sorted!
Well i think it's time to look out the matchsticks as my eyes are going again...(slaps my face, splashes it with cold water and blasts an air horn in my ear)...nope didn't work but the removal of the cloverleaf nipple clamps did!! mol
i will see Y/you all in 45mins for my final instalment...take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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The fifth "punishment journal" entry and i am determined i shall not fail Mistress...
i don't know if i am hallucinating however as i thought i could hear the bed or floor calling my name..."come here and sleep steff" i could hear in the distance but i know i cannot and will not as i will see the punishment through...
i owe that to Mistress so i can be taught my lesson and not to disobey Her in such a manner or indeed any manner ever again...sorry Mistress (and i know i will be and am)
See Y/you A/all in another hour folks for my penultimate entry and hopefully on the last one i can claim my prize or reward of my bed or floor and some sleep...looks at Mistress with my sad sleepy puppy eyes... |
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The fourth of my "punishment journal" entries tonight and i have perked up a little partially due to the pain in a certain area mol...
i am focussing on Mistress however and i will endure this pain for Her after all the pain i have caused Her at times in an emotional sense through my downers and fragile emotional state at times...
i think of all the good times i have with Mistress whether i am bound, hooded and locked away or walking on a beautiful beach together on a sunny day experiencing a "perfect moment"...
i love Mistress so very much and i miss Mistress just as much...i wish to serve Mistress 24/7 real-time...whether this will come true one day who knows? but for now all i can do is hope and pray...to my Goddess, MissLuzie who makes all the right decisions for me always...Thank You MissLuzie...
A little over half way there now...is that the time already?!! see Y/you in an hour peeps lol |
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This is the third entry for my "punishment journal" entries tonight and i must admit that i am beginning to struggle...
my eyes are drooping as is my head and the tiredness is overwhelming me...i am determined not to fail Mistress though and i will do anything at this point to stay awake to continue and complete my punishment...
i stated in the poem that i will fight the temptation to sleep and i am doing this for Mistress's sake as much as mine as i will have proven to Mistress that i have served Her well in this particular punishment...
i am so proud to be Yours Mistress...now all is wish is for You to be proud of Your slave girl...
see You A/all in an hour... |
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The second "punishment journal" is a poem dedicated to MissLuzie from Her slutty slave girl steff and the punishment endured tonight...Thank You Mistress...i love You xxxxxxxxxxxx
I LIVE FOR YOU
No rest for MissLuzie's girl tonight
sleep for steff, no she must fight
resist the temptation to close her eyes
complete this task and bed is the prize
slave steff did not do as she was told
disobeying Mistress was none too bold
looking back now it was a mistake
but i will learn for Mistress's sake
i am Mistress's slut for the entire night
it feels so good...it feels just right
i am so proud to be MissLuzie's slave
Her power and control is what i crave
i am Mistress's property 24/7
to be Owned by Her i feel in heaven
in Her bondage and to feel Her touch
Mistress i miss that and You so much
Her art of flogging is simply divine
i shiver when i hear "slave, you are Mine"
The crack of Her whip splits the air
Yet i am safe in the knowledge i am in Her care
MissLuzie is the best Domme i could serve
yet i frustrate Her and get on Her nerve
Then i'm punished, bound and locked away
rethink my actions and i have nothing to say
Only when released can i beg for forgiveness
"please oh please i am so sorry Mistress"
the tears from my eyes drop to the ground
Mistress holds me close and then i am unbound
i kneel at Her feet and feel so submissive
"i love You Mistress, You are the reason i live"
"Now My slave please do not cry"
"i will serve You Mistress till the day i die"... |
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This is the first entry of my "punishment journals" tonight whereby i am MissLuzie's slut steff all night, wearing nipple clamps in various places and basically trying to stay awake...
This punishment is for continuing to do tasks whilst Mistress strictly told me to rest...i disobeyed Mistress plain and simple...no excuses and i am accepting my punishment to learn to do as i am told, when i am told and not to displease Mistress in this manner again...sorry Mistress...
i have to admit that the sleep deprivation will be difficult on me tonight as i have been stressed and tired at work all week and i was looking forward to a decent sleep at the weekend whether it be in my bed or on the floor as i sleep where i am told to at Mistress's discretion...
i have been given the pleasure of looking at some of Mistress's pictures i have on my PC to help me stay focussed and stay awake so i do hope this will help me in some way...thank You Mistress...
For now though i don't need the matchsticks but i think they may help a great deal later on in the evening...
If anyone has any other ideas on how to help me stay awake for this punishment, please let me know however please don't tell me to count sheep!! there are enough of them in cumbria that i see every day!!
Take care A/all and see Y/you in an hour... |
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well slave dobby is all dressed up tonight and nowhere to go...dressed up as Mistress's slut that is with my thigh boots, black skirt with white piping, black top and pink crop top over that so i do look rather slutty...but i am Mistress's slut and will always be proud to be so...
If this is the first part of my punishment tonight then things are looking up but knowing Mistress my postponed punishment for forgetting to set my alarm clock is now happening tonight and i know for certain it will not be that easy...
i haven't been told what the punishment is yet however Mistress did mention that i should get matchsticks for my eyes to keep me awake so it is anyone's guess what it is at the moment...
i shall soon find out however and the waiting is always the hardest part i find till i know what it is as there is no preparation i am able to do in my head...basically obey and try to learn from my mistakes...
just as i am writing this i have found out my punishment which is to stay dressed all night and update collarme with a journal entry every hour as slut steff...
see i knew it wouldn't be that easy...thank You Mistress...well on that note i am going to go to sleep for a little while (with Mistress's permission of course)...
sleep well A/all...i know i will for about an hour or so...wish me luck!! |
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There was no update in my journal entry last night as i was unable to access the collarme website...thankfully Mistress was understanding of this and no punishment will ensue...thank You Mistress...
Without going into too much detail on here, this week has been very stressful and it is not helping that i am working more hours than i should be at work whilst supposedly on medical rehabilitation...
there is no doubt in my mind that this is affecting my ability to fully serve Mistress in the way that She should be served as i am completely shattered by the time i get home...
Mistress does understand this to a degree but why should She have to put up with this or me for that matter in this condition as after all i am Her proudly Owned slave...
This in truth is what gets me down at times as i don't feel i am serving Mistress to my true abilities not to mention my feeling of guilt at the moment as my house is in such a state that it is nowhere near Mistress's high standards and expectations where She could visit me for any type of inspection...
i am trying my best to get as many chores done as quickly as i can but i am so stressed i just don't know where to start to the point that Mistress is having to decide what i must do from one chore to the next...thank You Mistress...
i am also feeling guilty as i know Mistress wishes to come here to be with Her slave and although the house needs sorting, getting time off work is proving to be very difficult and sometimes even though i know my position as slave i feel as though i need some "me" time which i have not had for a very long time...my only "me" time seems to come when i am asleep as i only have time for Mistress and work, never myself...
i am not saying any way that i don't wish to be with Mistress as nothing could be further from the truth and in truth Mistress is my life but there are times when i feel i need to reflect on things, think things through properly and i just feel that i am not able to do this to any degree at all right now...
i do love You Mistress with all my heart...i am devoted to You and worship You and i always will...xxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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slave dobby is missing Mistress so very much today having spent the last week with Her and having so many beautiful and wonderful times...
i have been trying to focus on tasks when i got home from work however today was a particularly tiring and stressful day so Mistress ordered me to take some rest...i did not as i had already started some tasks and had to finish them off however i still disobeyed Mistress so a suitable punishment will ensue...sorry Mistress...
Mistress is now on Her holiday with Mick so i hope they both have a fantastic time together and the weather holds up whilst Mistress gets some well deserved rest...
Please have a great time Mistress...i am thinking of and loving You always xxxxxxx |
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Well what can i say other than i had a most amazing time with Mistress with the week that i was permitted to spend with Her...
W/we had so many great times spent on some lovely beaches here in Cumbria and in Scotland too...Mistress even let me lose playing crazy golf on the Island of Cumbrae in Scotland lol
W/we did so many things together in a vanilla setting as well as BDSM however i still knew my place at all times and i think Mistress enjoyed Her Birthday presents that i gave Her...smiles
i was even given the honour of driving Mistress's new car and of course being Her chauffuer...that was very nice...Thank You Mistress...
The whole time spent with Mistress though was such a humbling experience as this was the most time W/we have had the pleasure of spending together since i was collared and became Her property...
Thankfully the punishment cupboard was only used once however i seem to remember the nipple clamps were used almost on a daily basis at some point or other sometimes for punishment and at other times just for Mistress's pleasure and i am glad that i could serve Mistress in this way and any other way that She pleases for that matter...
i do have many reminders and memories of the time that W/we spent together however i know to "wiggle my toes" should i also forget that i am Mistress's slut (private joke) lol
The week just passed so quickly as does any time that i spend with Mistress but i am pleased that W/we seen and did so many wonderful things together...so many that it is impossible to list on here and i wouldn't anyway at some of the things W/we did as some things should always remain private...smiles and winks
i am now looking forward to when i am permitted to be in Mistress's presence once more...hopefully soon but i do understand that Mistress wishes to get away to a sunny and warm destination somewhere and i hope Her wish is fulfilled...
Thank You Mistress for the greatest week of my life...i hope You enjoyed the time You spent with Your slave...i adore, worship and love You so very much Mistress xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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Less than 24 hours to go and i am with Mistress again...it can't come soon enough as i miss Her but also wish to see Her face light up and smile when i give the belated Birthday presents to Her...smiles
i said in my journal last night that this week has been particularly difficult as this is the least contact i have had with Mistress since being collared by Her as Her property and slave however i should explain myself more clearly in that although this week has been difficult, i have been focussing on the positive aspect of being with Mistress for a whole week which will be the longest time i have spent with Mistress to date in a real time environment at least...
That is something i looking forward to with a passion no matter how many punishments i receive as i will finally be at the feet of my Goddess MissLuzie to serve Her, pamper Her and please Her in any way i can in order that She has the best possible time...
Mistress deserves this holiday and in truth a whole lot more than i can actually give Her at the moment but it is my goal and aim one day to ensure Mistress becomes a full-time Lady of Leisure and Pleasure...smiles
Tick Tock...come on Sunday...hurry up...i can't wait to be with You Mistress...smiles |
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Today has been quite eventful however my sole focus has been on Mistress and wishing Her many happy returns (and singing happy birthday...badly! lol)...
i have been praying that Mistress has had a wonderful birthday with lot's and lot's of nice presents with mine still to be presented...
Mistress has also had 2 celebratory meals today however She deserves it of course as She is such a beautiful and wonderful Mistress...
It is long to go now till Sunday and when i am permitted to be with Mistress for the whole week...i can't wait and W/we are also planning on going to Scotland for the latter part of the week even though the weather may not be brilliant i will still ensure Mistress has a very good and special time...smiles
i am missing Mistress very much and i think this week is the least contact that W/we have ever had ever since W/we met and i was collared as Her property...
That is particularly difficult but i am coping and staying strong as best as i can...i have had some tasks to do which are keeping me busy and all i am focussing on is Mistress and Her happiness...
i love You Mistress and i am looking forward sooooo much to Sunday when i can be with You for such a long time...smiles xxxxxxxxxx |
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my heart goes out to Mistress this evening as having spoken with Her briefly, i know how tired She is having had such a long and tiring day...
i am hoping Mistress wakes up and read this journal in the morning so refreshed and revitalised as tomorrow it is MissLuzie's birthday...Happy Birthday Mistress!! 
Mistress has a number of things lined up for Her birthday however unfortunately i will not be with Her on Her very special day...i am however spending a whole week with Her which i am humbled by and looking forward to so much...
It may be a belated birthday with Mistress but i will make it as special for Her as i possibly can so i really do hope the weather clears up by the weekend...(prays to my Goddess...MissLuzie)...
i will also promise on here to Mistress that i will not divulge Her age to anyone no matter what torture may be involved (oh yes please!) lol
In all seriousness though, please have a fantastic birthday Mistress and i am sorry i cannot be with You on Your special day...i just pray that i can serve You on many more birthdays for many years to come...
i will always be with You Mistress in heart, nind and soul and my body will always be Yours for the taking Mistress...i love You Mistress xxxxxxx |
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Mistress has been very busy today and this evening so i have not had much contact with Her which does i admit mean that i miss Her more than anything right now...
i have been keeping busy though finishing off some tasks in preparation for Mistress's arrival for the week and of course cleaning out the punishment cupboard which i have a funny feeling will be used alot over the course of the next week...
i think i will be reflecting on NOT to tease Mistress over birthday presents whilst in there...i am already regretting it as i forgot how small it was even with everything cleaned out...cramped dobby lol
i am coping better this week even though i do miss Mistress through staying in my submissive mindset which helps to focus me and keep me strong as i need to for Mistress...
The thought of being with Mistress for a whole week (well near Her at least for some of the time lol) is also strong in my mind to enable me to stay positive as i really need to for Mistress and not fall into any sort of downer or depression as i am my own worst enemy when i get like that...
i'm not sure when Mistress will get home tonight as She is having a lovely evening out however i am looking forward to hearing from Her when She gets home and be with Her first love...Her bed...smiles |
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i made a fatal mistake today...i teased Mistress about Her birthday presents and have been instructed now to clear out the punishment cupboard...by the amount of teasing i did today it looks like i will be spending the week in the punishment cupboard rather than with Mistress...oh dear lol
Seriously though i am looking forward to being with Mistress and giving Her a most wonderful and enjoyable time as She needs the holiday and if i can help by being there to make Her life more pleasureable and to be Her punchbag to let Her frustrations out then i am more than happy to do so...
After all i am Her proud slave, Her loved property and hopefully lot's more...
Today wasn't a fantastic day for me due to a couple of reasons, mainly i am missing Mistress and some issues at work (what's new) however although i felt a bit down, Mistress cheered me up and i am going to stay strong for Mistress in the only way i know how...
by showing my love, adoration, devotion and total submission to Mistress...my servitude to Mistress and what She is doing for me in every way by giving me a purpose in life and a reason to breathe humbles me in so many ways that all i wish to do is bow at Mistress's feet and serve Her well in any way i can...
i love You Mistress and only a few more days to go...yippeee!!! |
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i had a lovely weekend with MissLuzie and Mick albeit a shortened one due to unforseen circumstances with me...
i wasn't able to complete my punishment either for Mistress which was to be Her alarm clock so if anyone has any suggestions as to what sound i am to awake Mistress with when the punishment is to take place then please contact either myself of MissLuzie with some appropriate suggestions...
Mistress did give me a treat however...i think that's what it was lol...She had me tied up in a "comfortable" position whilst She read Harry Potter...personally i wouldn't have described the way and how i was tied as comfortable however that was Mistress's wish and i enjoyed being with Her no matter what position i am in or how uncomfortable i am...
i did at one point manage to struggle into a semi-comfortable position however Mistress soon readjusted my position back to where i was MOL (moan out loud)...
i am a very lucky slave in all aspects where first and foremost i am Owned by the wonderful Mistress Luzie, cared for and loved by Her in Her Own special way however i am also looking forward to next week as i am being allowed the pleasure of spending the WHOLE WEEK with Mistress and hopefully all going to plan i get all of that time off on leave...YIPPEEE!!!
i am looking forward to this sooooo much and i can't wait till the weekend to begin this wonderful time with Mistress...and it's Her birthday too!!!...yes another year YOUNGER for Mistress and of course more beautiful...smiles
i love You Mistress and look forward so much to being with You that i am counting the days but thinking of You always....xxxxxxxxxxx |
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i am unable to travel to be with Mistress this evening due to work circumstances however i am slaving away this evening quite literally in order to be with Mistress first thing tomorrow morning...
my punishment has also had to be postponed however although i won't be standing in the corner as Mistress's alarm clock i will still be able to call Her tonight at 12 so that She does not miss the opportunity to get the final instalment in the Harry Potter book series...
It is very disappointing how the circumstances have arisen however i have to thank Mistress for being so understanding and for Her words of encouragement in order to get the work done this evening...Thank You Mistress...
Well i had better get cracking or is that the sound of Mistress's whip i hear cracking...lol
i love You Mistress and i look forward to being with You tomorrow as good dobby...bad dobby...smiles xxxxxxx |
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i overslept this morning and as a result i am to be punished so this weekend will be more like sleepless in Manchester with a BDSM twist lol...
Although i am to be punished, there is a positive twist as i am being allowed to spend the weekend with Mistress which is completely unexpected as i was preparing myself for a weekend alone...
i may be shattered but it will be worth it just to spend some time with Mistress and be in Her beautiful presence...
In preparation i am going to have an early night with permission from Mistress as i know i will need as much rest as possible...quivers in anticipation...
i am now just looking forward to tomorrow and hoping to serve and please Mistress in any way i can and show Her my love and total submission...Thank You Mistress for allowing me to see You this weekend...i love You...smiles |
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It was a late night for slave dobby last night however it was well worth it as it was spent with Mistress albeit online where i was doing some tasks for Her (and not easy ones at that i might add lol)...
It is difficult not being with Mistress but even the few hours spent with Mistress online last night raised my spirits...Thank You Mistress...
This week i am feeling more submissive than "normal" and i feel this is helping me focus totally on being there for and serving Mistress...it's not that i don't feel submissive when with or not with Mistress, i just feel i have to submerge myself into "dobby mode" in order to gain that inner strength required to remain focussed on Mistress when i am not with Her...
It may make sense to some folks and possibly none to others however it works for me and that is all that matters as it makes Mistress happy knowing that i am coping in this way without Her...smiles
i am still unsure whether Mistress will be able to come this weekend but i would like to just state here that i totally understand if Mistress cannot come this weekend and i know i will be spending many more weeks with Mistress so i am focussing on that rather than any negative aspects...
i love Mistress so very much and sometimes it is difficult to convey that into words however actions speak louder than words in most cases and i hope my actions recently have shown Mistress how much i care for and love Her...always...xxxxxxx |
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i have to firstly thank Mistress tonight for giving me permission to sleep for a few extra hours after work today as i came home absolutely shattered however the down side to this was not being able to spend this time with Mistress...sighs
my heart is heavy at the moment as i do miss Mistress but at the same time i know She needs Her space and i don't wish to become a "needy" sub which hopefully i am not but i do get sad when i am not with Mistress and i hurt very badly inside when i frustrate Her by doing things wrong or any tasks which do not meet Her standards as i live for Mistress's pleasure and happiness...
Although my heart is heavy, through Mistress's words and showing me how much She cares and loves me, i am coping better this week and i am remaining strong for Mistress which i made a promise to do so...
Unless there are extreme circumstances beyond my control, i am not one to break a promise and especially not where Mistress is concerned...smiles
Mistress has been invited to a private play party and She can bring a slave...i believe Mistress is planning on taking steff (see pics on my profile) and i am sooooo looking forward to that should Mistress indeed decide that i am the slave She is going to take...smiles widely
All my thoughts are for Mistress and all i wish right now is to please Mistress and make Her happy and possibly make Her dreams come true at least some of them anyway...i will certainly try my best Mistress as i love You and need You so very much...
i am so proud, humble and greatful to be Yours...Thank You so much Mistress...bows at Your feet xxxxxxxx |
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Tonight's journal is dedicated to MissLuzie as always however there is no poem for what i have to say tonight as all i wish to say to Mistress is that i am there for You Mistress...
i feel Your pain and Your disappointment in the current circumstances however i am with You Mistress, serving You and always loving You...
In times of YOUR need i am here for You always like You are and always have been for me...i will be strong for You Mistress and be everything You wish me to be at anytime You need me to be...
i am Your slave yes but i know right now You need much more than a slave and i will be that for You Mistress...that is the least i can do for You knowing the care, guidance and loving that You always give me unconditionally...
In Your heart, mind and soul i am there for You Mistress and i always will be whilst my body is Yours for the taking as i humbly kneel and serve at Your feet...
i love You Mistress...forever and always xxxxxxx |
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i have just returned home from a wonderful weekend with MissLuzie and Mick...i have to admit however through my own personal circumstances, the beginning of the weekend was dreadful and at one point before i left from home, i had second thoughts about going to see MissLuzie because i knew how i would be feeling...
i am pleased to say however that Mick and Missluzie made me feel most welcome as always and they supported me tremendously during this difficult period...a really big thank You to Mick also for the "words of encouragement" and the treat to the cinema...wonderful film - only thing missing was dobby...oh wait that's me! lol
Mistress also had a wonderful weekend and even though i was literally "booted" out of the door, it was done in the nicest possible way and i will bear Mistress's marks with pride as always...
i also gave Mistress an "unusual" breakfast this morning though it wasn't planned that way however She did smile about it after almost choking on it...and i did pay for it in a way a little bit later lol
i just have to say a massive thank You to Mistress and Mick for giving me such a wonderful weekend and fingers crossed by the time Mistress gets home tomorrow She will be driving Her new car...
i PROMISE to stay strong until the next time i am able to be with Mistress as i know next weekend is an uncertainty at best and i understand why Mistress may decide that W/we not be able to see each O/other...i love You Mistress and i really hope this week goes well for the both of U/us xxxxxxxx |
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Tomorrow is supposed to be an unlucky day,
Not for me nope no way,
i will be with my Owner Mistress Luzie,
To serve, please and whole i will be.
It makes me happy just to kneel at Her feet,
Even if briefly allowed O/our eyes do meet,
my heart and soul is Hers to keep,
my love for Mistress is truly deep.
Used at Her mercy fills me with joy,
i love being Her slave and personal toy,
The skills She has makes Her truly the best,
i know from experience...i passed Her test.
To serve MissLuzie is a wonderful feeling,
It makes me so happy i am touching the ceiling
All i wish is to serve and give pleasure,
Ensuring She is happy and a Mistress of Leisure
All i can give is my total submission,
especially with my life in a state of transition,
i am with You Mistress always in Your heart,
i always have been right from the start...
This poem is dedicated the wonderful MissLuzie from Her loving, proud and caring slave dobby...i love You Mistress xxxxxxxxx |
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i served Mistress tonight to please Her and that was what i am to do always...
It is only 1 more night to go and then i am with Mistress once more to serve Her properly and in the way that She deserves...with excellence...well i will try to at least with my best efforts and be there for Mistress when She wants me to be...that is all that matters really and of course Mistress's pleasure...
Mistress and i had a brief but very nice (mol) telephone conversation...smiles and it was nice to hear Mistress in high spirits as that made me so happy too...another night of gaming and of course i was more than happy to lose tonight lol
i must admit that i am still in pain right now but of the medical nature rather than anything emotional or Mistress has done or instructed me to do...that is rather frustrating but i do know through Mistress's loving care and guidance i will get there...for Mistress as i love Her so much... |
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It's getting closer to the weekend and it cannot come soon enough as then i know i will be with Mistress once more...
Tonight both Mistress and i were in high spirits as W/we played some online games together and although i beat Her in the game Mistress knows that She can beat me at anytime of Her choosing so maybe on second thoughts i should have allowed Mistress to win...
It was so much fun this evening though and i hope Mistress had a good time too although i know She will enjoy many good times this coming weekend...i hope to see to that personally if of course i am permitted...smiles
The past few days have been tough mentally and physically on Mistress and i...tonight thankfully was a bit of light relief whilst still knowing my place at Mistress's feet...
i suppose that is the thing about being 24/7 in my opinion at least is that however much a slave or even Dominant would love proper 24/7 it is just not possible as it is too demanding on the Dominant as well as the slave and trying to cope with every day real life situations is impossible at times in any persona other than Your O/own...
Well that's my preachings over for this evening lol...my final words this evening are dedicated to MissLuzie to let Her know that i think about Her 24/7 even though i am not with Her physically 24/7 i am truly with Her in heart and soul and always will be...Thank You for making this slave truly happy Mistress...i love You xxxx |
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There was no journal update last night for a couple of reasons...the first was because yesterday i was at my lowest point i could ever have imagined or experienced because i was weak and unable to stay strong for Mistress as i missed Her so much...
The second was because MissLuzie came to my rescue and took Her valuable and precious time to come and see me, comfort me and show me just how much She really cares for Her property...
That action alone without words humbled me last night as i was not asking for Mistress to come to me nor expecting it but i do ask myself how many other so called Mistress's out there who claim to care for their property would have done such an act?
i am not saying there are none but from the few whom i have spoken to on here i very much doubt there are many that would have taken such a caring and loving act just to ensure their slave was able to cope and focus again...
Mistress and i have much more than just a Mistress and slave relationship which is something i have never encountered before but knowing Mistress is the only person i have truly ever loved, worshipped and adored is predominantly the reason in my opinion why i just cannot cope without Her...this may not be a good reason for what i did yesterday nor will i offer it as an excuse but i do need Mistress in every way, every day just to be able to live as Mistress is my whole life...
Those are not just words, they are my true feelings and i hope Mistress has some sense of this through what i said and felt emotionally with Her last night...
i love Mistress with all my heart...i would lay my life down to protect Her...my collar remains with me physically and in my heart...forever as will my love for Mistress with my mind body and soul... |
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Mistress has updated Her journal willing me to stay strong and serve Her...the way things have gone and are going for me right now i am trying to stay strong but just feel so weak on the inside and out that i cannot...
i am unable to do alot of things right now and this is undoubtedly affecting my ability to serve...
the past couple of days i have been hurt physically and emotionally compounded with the thought of not being with Mistress for another week and now possibly 2 i really just cannot cope and i am the one that is now a wreck feeling like washed up pieces on the shore...
i think i am going to need more than a rebuild to get me anywhere near back on track but the question i guess i am asking myself and Mistress will have to ask Herself is am i worth rebuilding? only time will tell but i know i love Mistress and hate myself but the problem is for me i don't know which self i hate most anymore... |
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This is a sad update tonight as this weekend will be the first without Mistress...the first for quite a while...that is the most saddening thing...not being with Mistress...
Can i cope without Mistress in a word no - will i have to cope without Mistress in a word yes but not very well as even the thought of not being with Mistress makes my heart grow heavy and each passing day it becomes heavier...
It does though at times feel that it does not matter how i feel and probably that is the way it should be as after all i am only the property of Mistress even though She does care and love me as Her property...
The previous statement is probably more down to frustration than anything else however this is my true feeling and i am not going to hide or be dishonest with Mistress as that would only hurt Her feelings and i love Her too much to do anything in that manner... |
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i got some good news today as my medical problems have finally been prognosed with a viable solution in place which hopefully will help me move forward in order that i can better serve Mistress in the way She wishes...
The downside to the good news is that usually there is bad as well however this takes shape in the form of not being able to be with Mistress this weekend...
i was expecting this really however it is not for any "bad" reason other than Mistress needs and deserves a rest and break...
No matter how i am feeling Mistress's wellbeing will ALWAYS come first as i care for and love Her so very much so even though i am disappointed, i also understand that it is not always going to be possible to see each O/other every weekend...
Any time i am allowed the privilege of spending time with Mistress i am thankful and even though i am not with Mistress physically, i am indeed with Her in mind, heart and soul...
i love You Mistress with all my heart xxxx |
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i have to apologise firstly because i know i disappointed Mistress this morning as i had to travel to work twice due to unfortunate circumstances and meetings beyond my control...i am sorry Mistress
At the moment it is my understanding that Mistress is not coming this weekend nor am i able to see Her...although this may change i do not wish to build my hopes up only to be disappointed so i am trying to "steel" myself for a weekend alone...
i do miss Mistress so very much and i will admit i am in very much pain, hurting through tears at the emptiness my house and body feels when Mistress is not here...
i am not a demanding or "needy" slave in any way but the one thing i am sure about is that i do need Mistress in my life to guide me and my sole pupose is to care for, love and serve Mistress for Her pleasure in any way that i am permitted or instructed to do so...
i really do wish circumstances could be different for U/us but i try to remain strong for Mistress and persevere with the current situation as i know this situation will not last forever and things will turn out alright for the both of U/us in time...i love You Mistress...forever and always xxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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i understand You are going through a difficult time at the moment Mistress and You had a terrible day today however i am thinking of You always Mistress and love You very very much...
THESE DAYS
These days without You are the hardest of all,
When i'm with You, You catch me when i fall,
If You fall i will be there for You too,
Holding You tight, wrapping my arms around You
i know these are times You need me so much,
it is difficult though when You are not here to touch,
But my heart and soul is touching You so deep,
As i am with You always so please do not weep
i am here for You Mistress, Your slave and all,
i will always be ready no matter when You call
To listen, to comfort and show You my love,
and pray for Your wellbeing to the heavens above
my love for You Mistress will never recede,
my bond with You Mistress is like an invisible lead,
i devote my life to You MissLuzie, forget the rest,
simply Mistress You are the very best...
Please stay strong Mistress and i will for You as i am here for You Mistress...always and forever xxxxxxxx
This poem is dedicated to MissLuzie from Her devoted and loving slave dobby
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i haven't updated my journal for a few days but only because i have had the pleasure and honour of spending a long weekend with Mistress...
The weekend overall went very well and finished very well...smiles and winks...even though it is heart wrenching when Mistress has to leave or when i am having to leave Her...
It just seems so hard now to say goodbye even though W/we both know it is not the end...only the beginning of a wonderful life together...
The extra day with Mistress was a bonus as well as a treat and it was just so unexpected but wonderful nonetheless...
in a way the extra day threw my thoughts and mindset out a little bit as i was building myself up and trying to steel myself for Mistress leaving on sunday and then i had to do it all over again today however i wouldn't have changed the extra day with Mistress for anything in this world or the next...
The D/s relationship with Mistress is developing at an extraordinary rate to a point where it is mindblowing yet still so safe sane and consensual...and that is something which i am so greatful for that i can trust Mistress with my life and i do each and every day...
i don't wish to go all "sobby" but it is difficult to keep my emotions in check when i miss Mistress so very much but only because i love Her so very much...
i applied to be MissLuzie's slave...i was offered and accepted the position and yet now i feel so much more than just a slave and grown so much through MissLuzie's training, guidance, loving and care...
This relationship has only just begun and there is so much more to explore and enjoy...this is one very happy slave...i just pray Mistress has the same feelings and thoughts about the future...
i love You MissLuzie with all my heart...i am here for You whenever You need me xxxxxxxx |
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Mistress has mentioned in Her journal that She is plodding along and W/we all need to bear with Her whilst She copes with many difficult decisions and situations at the moment...
Mistress please know that You will not plodding along alone...i will be there for You always and i will bear with Your moodswings for as long as necessary...i promise...
i couldn't cope without You Mistress within my heart and head i know that for sure...i love You i also know that for sure even though everything else seems so uncertain at the moment...
i am devoted to You Mistress...i adore You...i worship You...i love You and O/our love will always remain strong to keep U/us strong...
And as arnie says ah'll be back but for me i will keep coming back for more as i am Yours and my only desire is to stay Yours for as long as You want and need me...
i know You are strong Mistress but when required i will be strong for You...i won't let You down i promise You that Mistress... |
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This is just a short journal entry tonight as my feelings are irrelevant this evening...tonight and always it is about MissLuzie and i just wish to let Her know that even though i may be far away i am still here and there for Her...
i love Mistress so very much and i know She loves me just as much however i need Her to know that from the final conversation this evening, the decision for this weekend is up to Her as i do understand what She needs right now and i think Mistress does too...
Mick has also been a rock for me this evening and a true friend when needed most...Thank You Mick...
Mistress please know that i will sacrifice whatever is required for You...no doubts...no hesitations...i love You... |
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i am having problems with my internet connection which is a bit frustrating so that is why i am having to update my journal early this evening just incase i am unable to reconnect later on this evening...anyway enough of the "technicalities"...
Friday is coming soon...it just isn't coming soon enough as that is when i will be honoured with MissLuzie's presence once more...that will make me so happy and i cannot wait to be in Her presence, be with Her and see Her once more..
i have put see in bold as Mistress took me at my literal word when i said i only wished to be with Her and for the first part of the weekend i wasn't allowed to look at Her...how cruel is that..no not cruel just Mistress being Mistress...smiles
i understand that i as slave dobby can be a "difficult" slave at times through my actions and thoughts however i am not a "bratty" slave nor do i seek punishment for the sake of it...
If You knew Mistress and how cruel yet fitting Her punishments are then You would understand why the worst painslut in the world out there would not intentionally seek punishment from MissLuzie!!
i always accept my punishments of course and will learn from them as they just keep getting harsher and harsher each time that i don't but it just makes me try harder and try to learn from each mistake so that i will become a better slave for Mistress...
i know i cannot please Mistress 100% of the time even though i try and i have come to accept that and i do hope Mistress does see an improvement in the way i have been coping lately and that my pain threshold is slowly being built up to the point where i am beginnning to "let go" in my slave mindset...
All i crave these days is to be with Mistress as i can think of nothing else which is not a bad thing but Mistress does feel my "social" life is suffering as a result...i do not question Mistress's viewpoint or decisions but i would stress i am Her slave and property and do not crave or wish a social life as i am Her property and think about Mistress 24/7...that is what makes me happy...You Mistress...nothing else as i love You so much...i worship You...i adore You...i need You Mistress... |
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Tonight i feel sad for a couple of reasons and inadequate...a failure almost...
i feel sad because i miss Mistress so much that i am hurting inside but this only because i love Her so much...
i also feel sad because of the current situation where i wish i could do more for Mistress and yet i am constrained by circumstances rather than restrained which makes me feel like a failure...
Past decisions and influences are now affecting my life and the relationship with Mistress which is not right or fair on Mistress but is currently unavoidable to the point that i do not know what to do for the best...
only Mistress knows what to do for the best...i am Her slave and property after all and i must abide by Mistress's decisions as in the end these decisions will ultimately be best for Her and me...
No one knows what the future holds but right now i would give anything to have a peek just to be reassured that everything is going to turn out for the best...
All i can give Mistress at the moment is my heart, soul, devotion and total submission in tandem with my best efforts to serve and please Her...
All i ask in return is nothing other than pray that everything works out well for Mistress and in Her favour so that She is pleased and happy...is that too much to ask?...only time will tell... |
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i had a most wonderful weekend with MissLuzie and Mick again however Mistress certainly showed me love..."tough love"...
The weekend just went too fast - why cant W/we have a 2 day working week and 5 day weekend...that would be much better and similar to what they have in france or spain or appears to be at least lol
Mistress mentioned about putting the thumbcuffs on me quite literally in Her journal however She never mentioned anything about being used as target practice not only with a whip, flogger or cane...there were a few scary moments during this particular part of the "target practice" however i trust Mistress implicitly and took what She gave to me...
The weekend started off by going to the club where W/we both had an amazing time (girls night out lol) and W/we both had a couple of first time experiences which just capped off a truly fantastic evening...
Saturday was a more relaxing day probably too relaxing as i fell asleep on Mistress's lap as She read to me Princess Spyder's book...NOT the thing to do when you are supposed to be in an uncomfortable position but i managed it and paid for it severely...
Sunday was also quite a relaxing day where W/we enjoyed a film at the cinema and spent some very nice times together before i was used as the target practice and had to leave for home...
that is always the hardest part - having to leave for home as my heart feels so heavy and painful knowing that i have to be patient and wait to see Mistress again until the following weekend...
i will remain strong though...not only for Mistress but also i need to otherwise i will become too sad and upset Mistress and i do not wish that at all...
i love You Mistress and just wish to be with You...always at Your feet...smiles
Postscript...
W/we did see a nice collapsable cage at the weekend though it was not for sale...so anyone with a spare cage out there that You don't wish, please drop myself or MissLuzie a note as Mistress has a cruel punishment in store for me if W/we don't find a cage (the same punishment will apply even if W/we do find a cage lol) |
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1 more night (tonight) and then tomorrow i am with Mistress again...that is a thought, the only thought which is keeping me sane at the moment as Mistress gives me the strength, hope and courage to develop as Her slave...
There is no greater feeling than when i am with Mistress...it is not about what She does to me as after all i am Her slave, Her property and She knows She can do as She pleases, when She pleases, where She pleases...it is just the feelings that She gives me when i am with Her..the joy the happiness the fulfillment and yet when i am not with Her i really do struggle to cope feeling so sad, down and empty...
This is not about me though, as i know i must focus on Mistress and only Mistress...it is up to Her to decide when She wants me and when She wants to be with me...
my love for Mistress sometimes clouds my judgement and even my thoughts where my best intentions sometimes end up with a smack across my face...quite literally...i know though that Mistress will always guide me in the right path for U/us and i understand sometimes i will have to endure the "tough love" as well as the "tender love" in order to become that better slave for Her...
i will always do my absolute best and give You my best efforts Mistress even when i fail i hope You understand it is not intentional and i have and always will try my heart out...
i am just so lucky and greatful to be Yours Mistress and i love You with all my heart...forever...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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i as slave dobby has pledged to Mistress to serve Her, focus on Her and please Her always...the last pledge being one that i take very seriously as much as the others...
Everything i do for Mistress is with my best intentions at heart always and i never intentionally seek punishment however lately i have been collecting them like they have been going out of fashion...
It is true i need much training but at the same time i am feeling awful inside as i can't seem to please Mistress in the way that She needs to be...this hurts the most on the inside as when She is happy i am happy but when She is disappointed i am really disappointed as i know then within myself that i am not serving Her well if at all...
i try god knows i try and even when expectations are set lower i still fail...all i want is to be there with Mistress 24/7 to prove that i am much better than She sees currently which is at the weekend and then this shell of a person on the phone or online during the week...
i am a shell because i love and miss Mistress so much that i am hurting on the inside that i cannot be with Her and show Her my love and adoration in person...
does that mean i am not really a slave but there is a slave inside of me waiting there to be released and show his true potential...i know that and i think deep down Mistress knows that too otherwise She would not have taken me on in the first place but at the same time when i feel so lucky and greatful i am just so disappointed that i cannot serve in the way i need to for Mistress...
This is not a request for release or dismissal more a pledge that i love Mistress so much that it is affecting my true abilities to serve Her and please Her well as i am unable to "serve" in short bursts...i need and want more than that and i need to show all of sides, persona and intellect...
does this make sense...i don't know...all i know is that i need and need to be with Mistress...always |
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i have had many experiences in my life past and present but never have i experienced as many wonderful and new feelings with MissLuzie...
There are so many things i wish to say but cannot truly express them on here for various reasons not out of fear of repercussions but just that some things are not meant to be shared and should be kept private...
i felt there was a bit of a wobble last night in the relationship and this was borne out of frustration and stubbornness on my part...i disobeyed and shouldn't have done what i did but at the same time i was given an ultimatum to choose something which Mistress now understands that i could not ever decide upon...
If i were ever to be given the same ultimatum i feel it would be the end of me as the person i am and there is just no way i could cope...
i am struggling to cope at the moment each day i am not with Mistress...it hurts just as much on the inside as i show on the outside...
i am trying to hide this to a degree to the outside world but at the same time i cannot hide my feelings from Mistress and i have promised to be open and honest with Her always...
i just want and need to be with Mistress always...24/7...She is in my heart and will be forever...Thank You Mistress xxxxxxx |
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Another weekend has passed with MissLuzie having had a wonderful time and yet i am so sad as the weekend just passes so quickly whilst i am serving Her...
Each time when She leaves and just the very thought of it makes my heart sinks to new depths and i feel like a huge part of me has been ripped and torn as i truly wish to be with Mistress 24/7...
Is this a dream to come true? i do not know...all i know is that i am devoted to and love Mistress more than i can truly express in written form and She knows this each and every time i am given the honour of having Mistress look into my eyes...
With You Mistress
i see Mistress walk through the door
i greet MissLuzie whom i adore
Scenes of joy as She smiles at me
My heart and soul feel truly free
Many things together W/we do
BDSM and vanilla things too
The pleasure W/we have is plain to see
Yet just being with Mistress fulfills me
This weekend was oh so good
A pleasure cruise and ships of wood,
A ferris wheel and candy floss too,
my favourite part was just being with You
Time was forgotten in O/our hearts and head
"Together forever" is O/our future ahead
This future is what i must focus on,
As when You leave my heart feels gone
i know there is still a long way to go,
From the bottom of my heart You should know,
i have never felt this way before,
i love You Mistress and feel so much more... |
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Quite simply i have changed for the better through Mistress and how She guides me, cares for me, supports me and loves me...
my feelings of submission are stronger now than they ever have been in my entire life as submissive or slave...i can categorically state here that this is purely down to MissLuzie and Her skills as Domme...
i have served before, i have submitted before however i truly feel now what it is really like to serve...it was almost as if past experiences were not real or just "playing" compared to what this servitude with Mistress is like...
i have already conveyed my thoughts to Mistress along these lines however i wish everyone on here to know also how i feel about Mistress, the ultimate high regard i have for Her and the thanks that She so richly deserves for taking on a shell of a being and making him into something that She can be proud and which i am proud of....
The one thing that i have learned however is to expect the unexpected in life...only a few short months ago i was looking for a perfect Mistress/slave relationship...MissLuzie found me and i found Her and W/we firmly thought W/we had found what W/we wanted...
This was not the case as O/our relationship has grown well beyond the Mistress/slave aspect and is so much more now which W/we have accepted but never regretted...
i just feel so lucky that i have found much more than i was expecting or could ever have wished for...thank You MissLuzie...my love for You i will always show in so many different ways...smiles
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The Sleepless Night
Yesterday i slept too much
You punished me without Your touch
Missing the doctor was not good enough
Now this morning i feel so rough
Every hour i had to wake up and text
So tired not knowing what to write next
i had to complete this task with grace
Or a harsher punishment i would face
What have i learned from all of this?
No more appointments shall i miss
i must also remember that i am Your slave
24/7 to serve please and keep You safe
i may be shattered but i hope i served You well
i can truly say last night was hell
But Mistress i will do anything for You
Go to hell and back and beaten black and blue
You really mean so much to me
At Your feet always i should be
All i want from You each day
Is Your tough love and discipline in every way
But for now i think i need some rest
i love You Mistress You really are THE BEST
This poem is dedicated MissLuzie and relates to the punishment She gave me last night...Mistress enjoyed the poem so much She instructed me to put it on here...i hope as many people get enjoyment out of it as much as Mistress did...smiles (and yawns lol) |
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i must admit that i was too honest for my own good today as i told Mistress that i had been dozing on and off for the best part of the day and even missed a doctor's appointment which i had to quickly reschedule...
As a result slave dobby is enduring a fitting punishment which will remind me that i should never miss a scheduled appointment as such again however it will also remind me that i am truly the property of Mistress to be used, to serve Her at any time of day or night...literally 24/7...
There is no better feeling than knowing the Power and Control that Mistress has and how She uses it as such so that i can better serve Her and please Her...
After all this is what a slave is...there for Mistress's pleasure...to be used when, how and where She sees fit...i don't need reminders of this but it feels good nonetheless that Mistress feels that i should be and in the way that She does...
She really is the BEST Mistress i could ever hope to serve and i hope i continue to serve and please Her with aplomb...always...
i managed to serve and please Mistress well tonight...i got praise for the way in which i did it so i must have done something right...grins...
i do have a feeling though that i am going to be really tired tomorrow and for good reason...smiles
Thank You Mistress for all that You do for me...You really do make me feel whole and i could not bear to be without You in any capacity...i love You and when W/we are apart i miss You so much xxxxxxxxxx |
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Mistress gave something very special to me last night...something i have never been able to fully understand or experience before...subspace
i received a phone call in the middle of the night from Mistress...it was so out of the blue and although the task at hand was for Mistress's pleasure, i took so much pleasure from it as well and went into subspace through the experience She gave me...
Since the new beginning i have felt very much different to the person i was previously...i am more content, more confident but i feel i serve Mistress with more humility and i feel more submissive now than i have in all the years that i have served anyone previously...
Looking back even as recently as just a couple of weeks ago i look at the person i was then and don't recognise him...my old skin has been shed and the new skin is a blank canvas for Mistress...
my focus is on Mistress, Her needs, Her wants, Her desires...some people will rightly say that is how it should be always and i agree with them but sometimes people face a crisis and it is at these times when the sub/slave has needs and wants too...
my problem was that i shut out everyone especially Mistress as i did not wish Her to see the pain i was going through which was not being caused by Her and it is only now that i realise that had i let Mistress give me what i needed and wanted the crisis could have been averted much sooner that it actually was...
In a convuluted way all i am trying to say is Thank You Mistress...You are so special to me...i need You...i miss You...i love You xxxxxx |
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There is so much happening in both MissLuzie's and slave dobby's life right now however W/we have such a bond and love for each O/other that i know for sure W/we will get through anything if W/we take each day one day at a time...
It is difficult i will not deny this as i miss Mistress so very much, i love Mistress so very much however W/we will be together again very soon...this thought keeps me going...the thought that i am lucky to be MissLuzie's property...i am greatful for how She makes me feel...so loved, cared for and happy...
i need to ensure Mistress is cared for, loved and happy too as this is the only pupose i have...to serve Mistress well...to care for Her...be there for Her...keep Her strong...show my loving towards Her always...be Her punchbag, maid, soulmate and anything else that She needs at any given moment...
Friday cannot come soon enough...MissLuzie and Mick are both coming to stay with me and W/we are all looking forward to the festival that is taking place...
i know the festival will be good however nothing can beat being with Mistress no matter where W/we are or what W/we are doing...punishments included...smiles
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A new beginning has begun, yes it was painful, the punishment harsh and severe yet the harshest punishment was the one i gave myself by beating myself up on the inside when Mistress reiterated what i had done to Her in Her Own words...
The punishment has been so severe it has had to be done in parts...500 strokes of the crop...250 down...250 to be served...
my body was aching from the punishment however now my body is aching from missing Mistress so much...
W/we had the BEST time ever over the weekend...everything was just so perfect from the moment MissLuzie arrived right up until She had to leave...that was sad yet W/we have so many happy memories until Mistress comes back in a few days time...
my mind is racing at the moment with all the lovely thoughts that happened and are special to U/us...the smile of MissLuzie, Her touch, Her beauty just everything about Her has made me smile, fulfilled, content and whole again...
i feel like a new being albeit a worthless one until Mistress has moulded me into how She wishes...into Her perfect slave...
The variety and mix of things that W/we did over the weekend was just perfect and there wasn't really one perfect moment...the whole weekend was just a perfect moment...how can You top watching a beautiful sunset at the beach and see 3 dolphins playing in the harbour as You sit with Your Mistress and the One i love, worship and adore...that was just 1 perfect end to a perfect day...
Anyone who keeps up to date with my journal can probably tell that Mistress has reinstated me as Her slave and i thank You with all my heart for that Mistress...someone said to me today once You had left that i was lucky to have You and yes i totally agree with her...she said You are a diamond, lovely with such a warm heart...i agree with all of that Mistress but still know that i am greatful to be Yours, Your property, Yours to do with as You please for Your desires...
The relationship of Mistress and slave has also been reaffirmed with a drawn up and signed Mistress/slave contract...this is something which Mistress and i both felt W/we required to set some general boudaries as well as specific due to the multiple personas that W/we are undertaking...
The one thing i have realised and call it a lesson learned if You will is that i cannot live without Mistress...i could not cope without Her that is clear and i know i need Her strong character, guidance and training to become that slave She wants to serve Her in every way possible...
slave girl stephanie was also given an "outing" by Mistress on saturday evening...a "girly" night out and although apprehensive at first Mistress put my fears at ease to allow me be more relaxed and eventually to the point where i was proudly lifting my head and showing off my "gorgeous" eyes in Mistress's words...
This would never have happened without Mistress as She has taken the time and effort to show how stephanie can be quite convincing and i appreciate Mistress for this and all that She does for me...the self improvement, how She makes me feel...positive...loved...cared for...some feelings i have never experienced before...Thank You Mistress...i love You xxxxxx
Please note that should Mistress deem appropriate, a picture of stephanie may appear on my profile soon...watch this space...smiles |
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slave dobby although shunned for a few days is still thinking of Mistress always and loves Her so very much...
Friday is going to prove a difficult day for both Mistress and slave dobby...there will be so many emotions evident and yet some may be held back however the only sad thing which will be evident after this issue has been raised and dealt with is when Mistress has to leave Her slave and go back to Her home...
i heard Mistress comment that the hardest person to hurt is the one you really love...slave dobby has already done this by hurting Mistress emotionally and is paying for his sins by being shunned by the One he loves and beating himself up on the inside over the torment caused...the greatest hurt has yet to come from Mistress and i know She loves Her slave but at the same time slave dobby knows that he must be punished severely and how Mistress deems appropriate...maybe the punishment will not to be punished at all but i do know that whatever Mistress decides it will be right for the both of U/us...
i trust Mistress without question...i have complete confidence in Her abilities...Mistress, please don't doubt or question Your Own abilities, that i beg of You...
i wrote a poem recently on here called "A New Beginning". This refers to Friday coming where slave dobby is praying and begging that Mistress retakes control and reinstates dobby as MissLuzie's slave...
i have a good feeling about the outcome but i do know my body will not be feeling good however the most important factor here is how Mistress is feeling...
If Mistress feels good and happy then slave dobby feels happy and proud as he knows he is doing his job properly to the point that Mistress feels so special and like a Queen on Her throne, a Goddess to be worshipped...
That is how it was from the beginning and that is how it should have continued however slave dobby became lost in confusion and conflict and basically shut down, not listening to anyone, not Mistress, not even listening to himself...
That really was the breaking point for Mistress and She made the decision for me which hit me like a freight train at 100mph and finally awoke the person i once was...the caring, loving slave dobby...
Now Mistress has one more decision to make on Friday...i know Mistress will make the correct one...She always does...that is the lesson i have learned and yes it has been painful but i will endure any pain necessary for the One i love...MissLuzie |
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MissLuzie has suspended contact with slave dobby for a couple of days due to the way he was treating Mistress and hurting Her through words, actions and sadly sometimes no action at all...
The threat of dismissal is hanging around slave dobby like a noose around his neck, slowly tightening and the darkness surrounding him like the hood placed over his head...
The only thing left is feet twitching and the fearful sound of Mistress pulling the lever to drop Her slave through the hatch door to end it all...
That WAS how slave dobby was feeling knowing how he was treating Mistress and the feelings of sadness not being able to be lifted in any circumstance...seeing Mistress unhappy not being able to help me, not letting Her help me, knowing She was right and yet i still could not allow Her to find me i feel was the breaking point for Her and eventually the reality check for me...
The poem i wrote earlier is of course dedicated to MissLuzie however i published it on here to express my feelings of what really will be a new beginning on Friday...
In all honesty i should have been dismissed by Mistress however She has saw fit to give me a chance...a final chance i know by all accounts...however i do not see this as a final chance rather a new opportunity for Mistress to mould me the way She wishes and for slave dobby to make amends and become a better slave for Mistress...
That was the goal from the very beginning but somehow i got lost along the way...not by Mistress's actions or guidance but through an accumulation of external factors that should not have carried over into O/our D/s relationship...
There are many sub meanings in my poems, some of which people on here can relate to and others which only have special meaning to Mistress and i...
The poems i publish on here are dedicated solely to MissLuzie to express my honest and true feelings some of which can be dark, some enlightening but all of them from the heart...
i found the perfect Mistress, almost lost Her and then managed to salvage the relationship through O/our love, plain talking and honesty...
i hope no one out there is as foolish as me as my world almost imploded...Mistress means the world to me and so much more...
If i can give 1 sound piece of advice...if You find the One you love and you know in your heart it feels so right...never ever let go as you don't know what you miss till it's gone and by then it is too late...
PS my 2nd piece of advice is NEVER disobey Your Mistress...and Mistress is ALWAYS right...smiles |
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A New Beginning
Not everthing is just quite right,
Yet Mistress guides me through these dark nights,
Like a beautiful star burning bright,
Mistress guides me towards Her loving light,
i felt frustrated, failure and fear,
in my heart wishing Mistress was here,
Yet i pushed Mistress away again,
Causing Her hurt, causing Her pain,
She felt She had lost control of me,
i was out of control truthfully,
The torment, the torture all in my mind,
yet where is slave dobby? no one could find,
Just when it seemed all was lost,
The reality hit and what was needed most,
Mistress i need You, Your guidance and touch,
Your discipline and control so very much,
To regain control i know You must punish me,
The severest of punishments i know it will be,
No fear, apprehension or begging for less,
The pain little compensation for Your distress,
The greatest hurt of all is eating me inside,
from my heart and soul with nowhere to hide,
Knowing how much i hurt the One i love,
MissLuzie, the Goddess from heavens above,
She has so much beauty, wisdom and love,
Hovering above me like a peaceful white dove,
Protecting, guiding, loving and caring,
Always understanding, always sharing,
i know She loves me and i love Her too,
But She needs to do what She has to do,
A beating, thrashing, flogging and more,
Bringing Her frustrations right to the fore,
i need this just as much as You,
beating me till i am red, black and blue,
only then can i say i have seen light,
knowing that Mistress was always right,
Seeing that pain etched on my face,
Blows raining down at a furious pace,
Tears in my eyess, only moans You can hear,
Mistress is in control i have no fear,
Trusting You with my life, heart body and soul,
i am Your property, that was always my goal,
kneeling at Your feet, serving You well,
Protecting You always come high heaven or hell,
i need You to know things are going to change,
some things familiar and some maybe strange,
only You though can ultimately decide,
what slave dobby endures on this special ride,
A one way ticket direct to Your heart,
that's my destination, it has been from the start,
i give You my submission, my heart and soul,
Mistress i need You to make me whole...
i love You MissLuzie and this is not about taking chances...it's about taking opportunities when they are there in front of You...i know that...i hope You do too...xxxxxxxxx |
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MissLuzie and Mick are going to the club tonight so i hope they have a wonderful time...i cannot help but think back to the time when i went to the club with Mistress and W/we both had a fantastic evening however i know that W/we have many more wonderful evenings and times ahead of U/us so i can't wait for Mistress to return and tell me all about it...smiles
i had a lovely chat with Mistress today however i know and She knows that i am still not anywhere near my old self due to how the conversation turned at one stage...i won't go into details here however another mini crisis was averted through how Mistress understood my emotions and i "held back" for want of a better expression...this is not me this is not dobby or steve and i am ashamed to say that..
i can only thank Mistress for how She has coped with me and held Herself back to a certain degree due the love that She has for me and shown me always...this love is most certainly reciprocated and i can only hope that i am able to get back to my normal self very soon so that i am able to feel Mistress's touch, hear Her wonderful voice and see that beautiful Woman that is MissLuzie...
to kneel at Her feet...to serve Her once more...to please Her again (over and over) and of course show that unconditional love which will never fade...soon Mistress, i pray very soon as i love You so very much xxxxxxxx |
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i pleaded with Mistress this evening to take control however i have to stress to Mistress that She never lost control of Her property, only that She understands that i need the time required to get back to my normal self and Mistress and i will be better for it...
It was a beautiful evening with Mistress reading a chapter from a book to me which had meaning for the both of U/us to at least some degree...i did feel sad, guilty and many other emotions though when i spoke to Mistress on the phone and She read something to me...
i can only apologise to Mistress and how i have reacted during my "crisis" which i know and i think deep down She knows that it is not fully over just yet and i am only just starting the road to recovery (fingers crossed) so that W/we can continue as normal in O/our own deviant way...
The are 2 things which have not changed throughout all of this and that is my love for Mistress has never waned and i have and always will remain Her property for however long She wishes me to...
Please remember Mistress i have never stopped thinking about You and i love You so very much xxxxxx |
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i am still lost but having spoken with, seen and felt MissLuzie's touch i do see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel and it is Mistress that is waiting there patiently to guide me from the darkness...
My heart & soul seems lost in time and space,
Yet through all darkness i see MissLuzie's face,
Her heart sore and like mine heavy as stone,
Please know Mistress You were not alone...
Fate and destiny brought U/us together,
O/our love will last forever and ever,
For now i need time to have pensive thought,
One day at a time to erode the confusion i caught...
i said some things that made no sense,
i don't know why i just felt so dense,
Emotionally torn, free yet trapped in a cage,
That was my mind - a canvas, a blank page...
Then i began to see the light,
Sadly through Mistress's plight,
Her hurt was so plain to see,
She was trying so hard to get through to me...
i couldn't understand what was going on inside,
my pain, my frustrations i could not hide,
Mistress reiterated She was there for me,
i pushed Her away, how could that be?
i was scared of losing what W/we had,
To think that now i must be mad,
W/we speak, W/we hug, W/we kiss, W/we touch,
That's what i missed so very much...
There may be still a long way to go,
To find "me" again that i know,
But one thing i know for sure,
my love for Mistress that is pure...
There is one other thing i must state,
24th March - remember the date?
That is the day i gave all i could give,
my soul, my heart now Yours so i could live...
Please remember those 3 little words,
As if singing aloud from those beautiful birds,
No matter if the sky is red, grey or blue,
MissLuzie I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU |
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slave dobby is having a really tough time at the moment through various things going on and things not moving forward in his "vanilla" life...
This is seriously affecting the relationship i have with Mistress and other people around Mistress and myself...the love i have for Mistress is the greatest i have ever known yet She feels pushed away...Her heart feels broken as i am putting myself into the situation of being in a shell in order to try and protect O/our relationship as i just cannot be around anyone at the moment...
i hate myself...i hate what i am doing to the people i love and especially Mistress and i need that time alone to try and get back to my normal self...
i have been asked how long this will take...how can i answer this when i do not know myself...how does one "find" one's true self again when you get to a point that you cannot be around anyone as it hurts too much as you know within yourself you will hurt them by your mood, emotions and demeanour...
i feel that i am also being pushed into making a decision...a decision which i know cannot be made sensibly at this point in time as NOTHING makes any sense right now...right now i am not a slave, not a person, not a being...all i feel is sadness, hurt and darkness...where is the shining light...where has it gone...i need to find that to see a way out of this... |
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i had no intention of breaking my Mistress's heart and yet that is what i have done even though Mistress and i both know this is not the end for U/us...
i am lost at the moment not only as a slave but in all other aspects as well...this is not good for the relationship i have with Mistress, it is not good certainly to be around me at the moment and i am my own worst enemy...
There are many reasons for this and it is most likely an accummulation of everything that has happened past, present and even thinking of the future (Mistress knows what i mean by this) however it is most definitely NOT MissLuzie that has caused me to be this way...
i need some time to find that person i once was and began to be when i found Mistress and She found me...the way i am is no slant on Her...it is me and although i need Mistress right now, i also know for the sake of O/our relationship i need the "alone" or "me" time to sort myself out before W/we can successfully move forward...
i cannot put a time limit on this and Mistress knows this but She should know that i love Her so very much and She has agreed to give me some time to myself...as long as i need...as long as W/we both need to get everything back to the way it was and is meant to be...
Above all i am so sorry for putting Mistress through what She has gone through with me and in all honesty, She has every reason to dismiss me for the way i have acted and not performed to Mistress's high standards...
i am very lucky to still be the property of Mistress and all i can say is that i find the true me sooner rather than later...
One final note on Mistress's poem...it will always hold a special place in my heart and will be remembered each time my wells of tears begin to help me through what i am going through at the moment...thank You MissLuzie...i love You...i always will...xxxxxxxx |
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There are so many frustrating circumstances at the moment which are making both MissLuzie and slave dobby feel very uptight and obviously frustrated...
This is putting a strain on O/our relationship in many ways in my opinion however i would just like to stress on here that the love W/we have for each O/other will always shine through no matter what...
slave dobby also gave Mistress some bad news this evening with regard to medical circumstances however She has also stressed that She will care for and support me through this and that i will not be alone...
slave dobby did not expect anything less from this wonderful and caring Domme as MissLuzie has always been so supportive, understanding caring and of course very loving towards Her property before and from the moment She took this slave on as Her Own...
Regardless of how slave dobby is feeling medically or emotionally, this slave loves his Mistress so very very much and just looks forward to the day that he is with Mistress once more...
Thank You MissLuzie for ALL that You do for me...i am very lucky and grateful to be Yours... |
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slave dobby was and is looking forward to monday and being with MissLuzie however there were events tonight which were out of slave dobby's control which displeased Mistress and slave dobby...
The crux of the situation is that slave dobby is going to have to make one sacrifice over another and this is something which slave dobby does not wish to do...if there is another way around this situation then slave dobby will find it however the current situation is that slave dobby is not going to make anyone happy through any choice...
This makes slave dobby extremely sad and depressed as MissLuzie is the love of slave dobby's life and yet the circumstances prevailing tonight has shown otherwise...i am sorry Mistress and i will try and make the correct choice tomorrow... |
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Today was a better day for slave dobby as he was able to speak to MissLuzie at length and of course not forgetting the wonderful pleasure that Mistress allowed Her property this evening...thank You Mistress...smiles widely...
Although slave dobby will not be able to spend the weekend MissLuzie due to family committments, this will not have a detrimental effect on the relationship with Mistress...
i love MissLuzie way too much and i will be keeping in constant contact with Her over the weekend looking forward to Monday when this slave can be with Mistress once more again...oh happy days!...smiles
this slave just wishes Mistress to know that he is thinking about Her constantly and loves Her so very much...NOTHING will come between U/us...i know that for sure... |
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Today was not an enjoyable day for slave dobby as a frustrating day ensued at the hospital where no definitive answers were given to an ongoing medical condition however this evening did get better in the company of MissLuzie...
W/we didn't get much of an opportunity to speak at length but at least W/we managed to speak for a short time before going to bed...
i think both Mistress and i are emotionally drained and tired and need all the rest W/we can get as i know speaking from my heart that i love Mistress so very much and my sadness when i am not with Her could create an ocean from my tears...
For now W/we speak about being focussed and remaining strong however this is becoming increasingly difficult because of the such strong feelings i have for Mistress, how i miss Her and especially how i love Her...
i did not imagine in my wildest dreams how a Mistress/slave relationship could turn into something so deep, so meaningful and so loving especially eminating from online however it has and i would never change it for the world...
i am just so grateful and proud to be MissLuzie's property and i hope that i can make Her very proud and continue to do so when i get to Her desired level of expectations and requirements as Her slave...thank You MissLuzie...i love You xxxxxxxx |
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A full day has passed now and slave dobby is home missing Mistress so very much...a wonderful weekend was had but there is always a sad part...having to leave MissLuzie with a heavy heart and that slave dobby becomes very emotional and just looks forward to the day that he is with and serving Mistress once more...
There was some good news today though as some toys that were ordered arrived today however slave dobby is going to have to wait a full week before they see light of day...sighs...
slave dobby is looking forward to having the toys used and tested on him though but not as much as being with MissLuzie, serving and pleasing Mistress in any way that he can...
slave dobby is sorry for this evening however as he displeased Mistress by working on the car when this time could have been better spent talking to Mistress...please forgive me Mistress...i am sorry...i only wished to take advantage of the good weather...
i do love Mistress so very much and it is getting increasingly difficult to describe properly my love for Her whilst the hurt increases every day that i am not able to be with Her...there is so much frustration and slave dobby just wishes that life could be much easier in being able to be with Mistress every day...well this slave can dream and wish for things to come true... |
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slave dobby hasn't had the chance to update the journal for a few days however this is because he spent a wonderful weekend with MissLuzie...
On Friday Mistress and i (as slave steph) went to a fetish club where W/we both had a fantastic time...Mistress looked awesome in Her pvc dress and long black wig (and the borrowed heels lol)...steph was paid the ultimate compliment as 2 people mentioned that i looked very convincing as a girl however this was purely down to how MissLuzie applied the makeup and did slave girl steph's hair to Mistress's high standards (and i think the thigh boots were a hit too! lol)
On saturday slave dobby was given help by Mistress to pick a new wardrobe and bought so many clothes i think i need a new wardrobe to fit them all in...that was a fantastic day with MissLuzie and Mick also as W/we had a barbeque later in the evening and then followed that with some roleplaying with Dungeons and Dragons...slave dobby is just as useless at that game as he is a slave...magical pathetic elastic band spings to mind lol
On sunday Mistress and i went for a wonderful walk in the park with the weather matching how Mistress looks...stunning and beautiful...it was a sad day though as slave dobby had to leave for home earlier than he would have liked to prepare for work tomorrow...this was quite sad as slave dobby will not see or be able to be with MissLuzie for a full week now...
slave dobby did have a most fantastic time with MissLuzie over the weekend however there were times when slave dobby did feel completely useless...slave dobby did get some praise though for doing Mistress's garden which did make slave dobby feel a bit better...that was just so nice to feel that i have done a task for Mistress and done it well to earn some praise...thank You MissLuzie for such a wonderul time and experience...i love You MissLuzie so very very much...thank You Mistress...for everything xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx |
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slave dobby looks forward to the days ahead,
sleeping at the foot of MissLuzie's bed,
serving Her well, serving Her true,
Feeling reborn, feeling brand new.
3 days with MissLuzie is never enough,
Being apart from Her is so very tough,
Missing Her deeply, Loving so deep,
This slave upon leaving will surely weep.
i have so many feelings of pleasure and joy,
Being with MissLuzie and being Her toy,
i am Her property, Her Owned, Collared slave,
Her loving and discipline, that's what i crave.
Now that day is almost here,
For MissLuzie to remove all my fear,
In return i give my submission and soul,
For i love You MissLuzie You make me whole...
Thank You MissLuzie...i can't wait to be with You once more...i love You so much xxxxxxxx
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slave dobby apologises for not updating the journal any sooner however Tuesday evening was an exceptional and wonderful circumstance as slave dobby was given permission to be with MissLuzie on that evening...
W/we had a wonderful evening and slave dobby was the one that got quite emotional as he was reading the D/s poems dedicated to his Mistress...sorry MissLuzie i do get very emotional however it is only because i am overwhlemed in Your presence and miss You so much when i am not with You...i love You MissLuzie so very much and i hope the suprise that i gave You reflects this in some way...
Yesterday was not a good day for slave dobby however as he was very tired, went to town with his car and came back without and did not get to speak to MissLuzie as planned later in the evening due to not being able to sleep earlier in the evening as instructed by MissLuzie and then being so tired he could not speak with MissLuzie...i am so sorry MissLuzie...it hurts when i think that i could not speak to You due to my tiredness and i beg for Your forgiveness please...
i am looking forward so much to being with MissLuzie tomorrow and over the whole weekend where W/we have planned a few things all of which sound very nice and enjoyable although all i wish is that MissLuzie is pleased and has a thoroughly good time and i as Her slave can give that to Her...smiles |
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slave dobby is looking forward so much to tomorrow...today seemed to go really slowly i guess because of the anticipation of tomorrow and being with MissLuzie, the one i worship, adore and love...
i have a suprise for MissLuzie tomorrow and although She doesn't know what this is yet, She has made some very good guesses...
slave dobby cannot wait until he is with MissLuzie tomorrow and see the expression on Her face when She is with Her property and sees (and hears) the poems dedicated to Her.
These are from my heart and i do hope MissLuzie sees the meanings in them and how much MissLuzie means to me as She really is the centre of my universe...
i love MissLuzie and tomorrow cannot come soon enough...thank You for everything MissLuzie...i love and miss You xxxxxxx |
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slave dobby and MissLuzie had a wonderful chat this evening however W/we did stop briefly to ponder why O/our chats have become so deep...i honestly don't know however i am just so greatful that i can have these long and meaningful conversations with MissLuzie and bring joy and cheer to Her day every day...smiles
i updated my journal earlier with a poem dedicated to MissLuzie and i would just like MissLuzie to know how much i am looking forward to Tuesday and every moment i am able to spend with the Woman and Mistress adore, worship and love...MissLuzie...
MissLuzie and slave dobby have come a very long way in a short space of time and it is a testament to MissLuzie as to how much this slave's performance has improved...thank You MissLuzie...to see You smile and pleased makes me so fulfilled and warm inside...i love You so very much MissLuzie...kneels at Your feet and kisses them so humbly... |
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i wish it were Tuesday, it wish it was now,
To be with MissLuzie and serve Her somehow,
To bow down before Her, worship adore,
To show Her my love and so much more.
To be at Her feet, look into Her eyes,
To be cared for and guided as She is so wise,
Bound and gagged in Her chains i feel so free,
Pleasing MissLuzie is what fulfils me.
Serving as punchbag, friend, lover and maid,
my love for You Mistress will never ever fade,
These are my feelings, these are my thoughts,
Sometimes unravelled like quick release knots.
But Mistress please You should know,
i am with You wherever You go,
In Your mind, body, soul & always Your heart,
Cos' my love for You was there from the start.
These are my words, this is my prose,
Dedicated to MissLuzie so everyone knows,
my love for my Mistress will never recede,
MissLuzie it's You, that is what i always need.
This is dedicated to You MissLuzie and slave dobby is looking forward so much to Tuesday...i love You from and with all my heart MissLuzie xxxxxxx |
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slave dobby hasn't been feeling well this weekend and slave dobby is unsure whether there really is something medically wrong or if it is down to his emotional state through missing being with MissLuzie so much...slave dobby is going to concentrate on getting better and even just the very thought of being with MissLuzie on Tuesday fills this slave's heart with joy...
There really is no substitute for being with the One i love, adore and worship...online is fine, phone can be fun but serving at the feet of MissLuzie cannot be beaten (no pun intended lol)
W/we did have a wonderful evening together though commenting on the various artists performing (is that maybe too strong a word lol) at the Eurovision song contest...the evening could only have been topped had W/we been together in the same room...now that would have been the perfect evening...sighs
This slave will not deny he is truly in love with MissLuzie and just looks forward to every moment that he is honoured to be with his Mistress...thank You MissLuzie for Your understanding, caring and loving that You have shown me from the very start...i love You and thank You for everything xxxxxxx |
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slave dobby is sad and frustrated that he cannot be with MissLuzie this weekend...it hurts so badly as he just wishes to be with MissLuzie as much as he possibly can...his heart is heavy and weak...his emotions run deep so badly that he could weep...and does...
There is some light at the end of the tunnel however as slave dobby has been given permission by MissLuzie to visit Her on Tuesday instead...the thought of this and the love that slave dobby has for MissLuzie and that She has for Her property is what keeps the inner strength going until W/we see each other once more...
slave dobby has been indulging in a task this evening hence the reason for the late update on here however this task is to suprise MissLuzie and slave dobby's lips are well and truly sealed...as this is a suprise i wish You to look forward to on Tuesday lol...smiles |
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slave dobby is lost for words this evening with regard to the journal entry by his wonderful and beautiful Mistress, Owner, Friend, Lover and so much more...MissLuzie... The words written by MissLuzie are from Her heart and echo the sentiments of slave dobby... i am intoxicated by MissLuzie, Her scent, Her touch, Her beauty, Her aura, Her Power and Control...most of all Her love of me and Her property... Yes W/we both started out on here looking for Mistress and slave relationship which W/we definitely have found however W/we have found and are entwined in so much more...some people may call it love...i cannot as to me it goes way beyond love to a level that i cannot describe... What W/we have is something so beautiful and meaningful to the point that when W/we are apart W/we are both physically and emotionally unwell...why is this so, i do not know but i do know that i submerge myself in these feelings and just feel so lucky that i was given the opportunity to serve MissLuzie in every way that i can... MissLuzie has brought feelings to the fore that i did not know i had or could ever feel that way about anyone...i thought i had loved before but MissLuzie has shown and taught me what true deep love is all about and taken me to a new level within myself... i feel as though i am completely different person now and looking back at the person i was, i ponder and have to pinch myself and ask was that really me? MissLuzie has changed me for the better even to the point where i am now but i do know i still have a long way to go in many aspects to become that "perfect" slave for MissLuzie... i truly feel that i have a new lease for life, that i am reborn and i can live again... i have always had a desire to serve and when doing so this fulfilled me and my pleasures however now this has changed, yes, i still have that desire to serve but now my fulfilment is only met through being with and serving MissLuzie... MissLuzie mentioned that She unlocked a skill She nor i knew i had with the D/s poetry however i feel that MissLuzie has unlocked much much more in me with my skills, feelings and a much self improved being...this is purely down to MissLuzie and i seriously doubt there is any other Domme out there that could have unlocked this potential in the way that She has in me(no disrespect to any other Dommes reading this but that is my feeling and to have seen me from the beginning, MissLuzie will understand where i am coming from). The D/s relationship between U/us has grown in leaps and bounds to beyond something neither of U/us were expecting...it has hit U/us both like a freight train without warning and it something which neither of U/us have any control over nor do W/we wish to as W/we continue this wonderful, amazing journey together... The one thing i do know is that W/we are both learning from each O/other and yes W/we may have had a couple of blips along the way but O/our love has always seen U/us through and will remain as an invisible bond which can never be broken nor unlocked... MissLuzie says that i am Her punchbag, Her bedrug, Her hot water bottle on legs, Her maid, Her friend, Her lover and soulmate...Her perfect slave...that makes me shiver inside to read and hear Her say those beautiful and meaningful words...i feel so proud to be Her Owned and Collared slave...i feel so lucky to be able to serve this special and caring Mistress...i am so greatful to be Her property but in all honesty, it is what O/our relationship has grown into, where W/we are today that makes me feel so special and proud to serve, know and love this Perfect Woman and Dominant...i give You my mind, heart body and soul MissLuzie...willingly...always xxxxxxx |
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slave dobby disappointed MissLuzie today and although it was through circumstances outwith his control, slave dobby promises to make it up to MissLuzie next weekend...sorry MissLuzie from the bottom of my heart...
There were times today and this evening where i could have sobbed my heart out and i must admit that i did a few times because i disappointed MissLuzie in such a manner however i know and i hope MissLuzie understands that it will not always be like this and as of next week circumstances should change for O/our favour...
i miss and love You so very much as well as Your soft and gentle touch...i love You MissLuzie xxxx |
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slave dobby has learned one important lesson today and that is a broken heart can be mended however a heavy heart takes alot to heal...that is how slave dobby feels being apart from MissLuzie...having a heavy heart which needs a mending and can only be made whole once more upon seeing, being with and serving MissLuzie...
This morning was really sad not being able to look up to MissLuzie from the bottom of Her bed and see Her beautiful face, hear Her lovely voice or feel Her caring touch...
slave dobby must remain focussed and strong however and the countdown begins until the weekend when slave dobby can be with MissLuzie again...there is no better feeling in the world than being with the One i love and safe in the knowledge that i am Her Owned and Collared slave...thank You MissLuzie for giving this slave feelings he never knew he had and a wonderful new lease of life...i love and miss You so very much xxxx |
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slave dobby has not updated this journal for a few days but for 1 very good reason...MissLuzie has been with Her property since Thursday evening throughout the weekend...smiles widely...
The whole weekend seemed to just go so quickly and this is with sadness as it went too quickly for both slave dobby and MissLuzie...
Friday was a beautiful day spent by the lakeside with MissLuzie where there were so many perfect moments and it was a day which i feel W/we both never wished to end...the setting was perfect, the weather was glorious and slave dobby gave MissLuzie something special which this slave knows She will treasure and keep in Her heart forever...
Saturday was another beautiful day spent at the seaside although the morning began with slave dobby's punishments...these were severe but merited and slave dobby can say he took them well for Mistress which he hopes pleases Her very much...
On Sunday Mick arrived and it was great to be in the company of someone slave dobby can call a true friend and know he can be relied upon in times of need and best of all have an enjoyable conversation and laugh with (at anything...smiles). A lovely walk along the shore and there were some stunning photographs taken with the breathtaking scenery - it was a very special day indeed...
W/we A/all had a wonderful BBQ on sunday evening followed by a most wonderful Monday morning awakening (details NOT available on request...winks lol)
Monday afternoon was the saddest part of all however as MissLuzie and Mick had to leave to go back home...the one thing that slave dobby has truly learned from this weekend is that he is lost without MissLuzie with a heavy heart and soul slave dobby feels there is a large part of him missing when MissLuzie is not around as slave dobby is truly devoted to and loves MissLuzie so very much...it won't be long till W/we see each other again though...i promise You that MissLuzie and look forward very much to this weekend...
In the meantime this slave is sad yet so humble and greatful for the wonderful time he was honoured to spend with MissLuzie...Thank You so much MissLuzie...i love You with all my heart xxxxxxx |
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slave dobby was quite upset and frustrated today as he was texting MissLuzie throughout the day to let Her know he was thinking about Her but only 2 texts got through...this may have been due to technical difficulties but does not make slave dobby feel any better as slave dobby wished to be that "rock" for MissLuzie today...i am so sorry MissLuzie...
MissLuzie needs a well deserved rest and break and slave dobby is aiming to give that to Her this weekend...slave dobby is looking forward so much to friday and is glad that there is only 2 days to go now till he is at the feet of and with MissLuzie once more...smiles
There will also be a big change to slave dobby this coming weekend with the removal of part of slave dobby's past which will also mark the new beginning of a wonderful life in the servitude to MissLuzie...this is something which slave dobby knows must be done to get rid of past demons...thank You MissLuzie...for everything xxxx |
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slave dobby realises MissLuzie is going to have a stressful day tomorrow and although slave dobby cannot be there physically with Her, slave dobby wishes MissLuzie to know that he will be with Her in spirit, mind and soul...i will be thinking of You MissLuzie as always but especially when You most need it as i love You so very much...
slave dobby is also getting excited as MissLuzie and Mick will be visiting over the weekend...slave dobby is looking forward with great excitement to this and just cannot wait to be with MissLuzie once more and welcome Mick to slave dobby's humble abode...
slave dobby is hoping to give MissLuzie a weekend She will never forget to make up for the disappointment of not being with Her last weekend...smiles
The only tinge of apprehension is the punishment(s) which slave dobby will be receiving however slave dobby knows these are more than merited and accepts whatever Mistress will deem appropriate...
slave dobby is sorry MissLuzie has to give the punishments to Her slave but does know slave dobby will learn from these punishments and improve for the benefit of MissLuzie...thank You for Your kindness, caring and patience MissLuzie...i worship, adore and love You...always |
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slave dobby is beating himself up on the inside at the moment having upset MissLuzie this morning through his insensitive words and actions...slave dobby is just so greatful and thankful that MissLuzie has not dimissed this useless slave with MissLuzie having such a kind, caring and loving heart to understand slave dobby's reactions...
There is however no excuse for slave dobby's actions and although slave dobby was partly punished today and will be further deservedly punished at the weekend, there is no punishment harsh enough which can make slave dobby distinguish how badly he feels at upsetting MissLuzie in this way...
MissLuzie and slave dobby will not dwell on this and once the punishment has been meted out, slave dobby will of course learn from his mistakes and strive to make MissLuzie happy and continue to please Her through this slave's self improvement via MissLuzie's guidance and training...thank You MissLuzie for giving this slave the opportunity to continue to serve You...
Special thanks must also go to Mick for his words of wisdom to MissLuzie and slave dobby and just for being there to listen and comfort in O/our time of need...thank You Mick so very much...You are indeed a true friend when most needed... |
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what can slave dobby say to MissLuzie other than i am so sorry this weekend was difficult for both of U/us as slave dobby could not be with MissLuzie...it hurt not to be with Mistress and do the things for and with Her which makes U/us both so happy...i am very sorry Mistress
On a more positive note however W/we did manage to speak on the phone alot albeit to the detriment of MissLuzie actually getting things done but i will never apologise for spending quality time with MissLuzie in any form and for loving Her so very much...
The lottery numbers never came up this weekend for MissLuzie or slave dobby however if i may also speak for MissLuzie on this, life is not about money...happiness is not about how much money You have...W/we should be greatful for the things that W/we do have and i am greatful for having the relationship i have with MissLuzie...no amount of money in the world could ever make me feel as happy as when i am with MissLuzie and pleasing Her in any way that i can...seeing that beautiful smile and gazing into Her angel like face...that is happiness...smiles |
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This weekend has been extremely difficult for slave dobby and is almost akin to punishment not being able to be with MissLuzie...slave dobby misses the caring touch of MissLuzie and the feeling of being so safe in Her care and the love She has for Her property...
MissLuzie and Mick are however going out this evening and i do hope both MissLuzie and Mick have an excellent time...smiles
slave dobby is constantly thinking of MissLuzie and smiles each time he hears Kylie sing "can't get you out of my head" as that it is what it is like with slave dobby thinking of MissLuzie all of the time...not that slave dobby is complaining of this as this is a wonderful gift from MissLuzie in slave dobby's eyes and hopes this will continue for as long as MissLuzie wishes this slave to be Her Owned and Collared property...smiles
slave dobby knows he is not the best slave MissLuzie could ever hope to Own however he is constantly trying to improve under MissLuzie's training and guidance and it is with this and everything else that MissLuzie has done and is doing for slave dobby that slave dobby will always be greatful for and love MissLuzie unconditionally, striving always to please Her in the best way that he can...thank You MissLuzie...i love and miss You soooo much xxxx |
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slave dobby thanks MissLuzie for a wonderful chat this evening and also for the length of time that MissLuzie permitted this useless slave to speak with Her...
This went a little way in making up for the time that could not be spent with MissLuzie this weekend but can never compensate for being with and serving MissLuzie in real time...nothing can compare to being in MissLuzie's wonderful and beautiful presence and slave dobby is very greatful for being given the opportunity to serve this wonderful Goddess and is considered so very lucky to be Her Owned and Collared slave...
slave dobby is going to "bed" now...smiles as it is very late however slave dobby is safe in the knowledge he will not be punished for going to sleep so late as MissLuzie permitted him to be on the phone for so long with Mistress...wide grin... |
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slave dobby's heart is sad and weak...not only can slave dobby not be with MissLuzie this weekend, MissLuzie is also feeling poorly which makes slave dobby feel even worse in MissLuzie's time of need...i am so very sorry MissLuzie...and i know i will be...
slave dobby is also having a torrid time at the moment through work and other reasons however slave dobby will try and remain strong knowing that MissLuzie loves Her property very much and slave dobby worships, adores and loves MissLuzie with all his heart...no matter the circumstances or wherever slave dobby is this will never change as slave dobby thinks of MissLuzie always...thank You MissLuzie...smiles and thinks of being with You... |
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This is just a quick update this morning before slave dobby goes to work to let MissLuzie know slave dobby apologises for what happened yesterday with circumstances beyond his control which is forcing slave dobby to not be with his Mistress this weekend...
slave dobby does miss and love MissLuzie very much and it does hurt him when he is not with MissLuzie although slave dobby was hurting last night for different reasons...thank You MissLuzie...slave dobby will not swear over his allocated amount per week again...knowing there is another impending punishment...quivers |
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slave dobby awoke this morning with a heavy heart as he is missing MissLuzie so very much...slave dobby will try and remain strong however as he must for MissLuzie as slave dobby feels that MissLuzie is also missing Her property...
slave dobby is missing MissLuzie especially today as he has not had much contact with Her however this is due to understandable circumstances but slave dobby is thinking about MissLuzie always and that truly is a wonderful gift You have given me MissLuzie...thank You so much Mistress...smiles
slave dobby is just very greatful to be Owned and Collared by MissLuzie however slave dobby would also like to thank MissLuzie publicly for everything that MissLuzie has done and is doing for this useless being...
slave dobby sees and feels the improvements that MissLuzie has impacted on Her property and this slave hopes MissLuzie is also seeing Her efforts being rewarded with slow and steady progress in all aspects of slave dobby's training and guidance...
slave dobby knows there is still vast improvements to be made however slave dobby is trying his best always for MissLuzie and does hope that one day She can say She is truly proud of Her property...when that day comes slave dobby will know he can then also be truly proud to be MissLuzie's slave...smiles |
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slave dobby had a wonderful evening with MissLuzie again although slave dobby does have a heavy heart as he is missing MissLuzie so very much...
MissLuzie also has a new accessory which She is unable to try out on Her slave for a couple of weeks but it does look very exciting...smiles and mmmmmmmm's and can't wait to be with MissLuzie once more...
slave dobby also apologises for having to clarify with MissLuzie the task that slave dobby should have automatically done whilst online this evening...even though MissLuzie stated there was no harm done...slave dobby would have to disagree on this occassion...winks and mol (moans out load)
MissLuzie also asked which was better for slave dobby - speaking online or on the phone...well slave dobby would like to clarify the only wish he has is to be with Mistress 24/7...that is the BEST thing however as MissLuzie knows slave dobby loves the commanding, sexy voice of Mistress so that is most definitely much better than speaking online...smiles
As slave dobby has stated his heart grows heavier each day that he is not with MissLuzie but has to accept these circumstances for the moment...hopefully one day that day will come where slave dobby is truly serving MissLuzie 24/7 and that day is not too distant in the future...i love and miss You very much MissLuzie xxxx |
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slave dobby misses MissLuzie very much and being with Her in every way as slave dobby cannot help but think of MissLuzie and what She and Mick has done for this useless slave...
slave dobby was really glad that MissLuzie came to be with Her property over the weekend as slave dobby was feeling quite down and stressed so really appreciated what MissLuzie did with, to and for him over the weekend...smiles
slave dobby is just so greatful to MissLuzie for being a special, kind, caring and loving Mistress...thank You so much MissLuzie...smiles |
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slave dobby did not update the journal last night but for one wonderful reason...MissLuzie came to slave dobby's humble abode to be with Her property after slave dobby's horrendous week...
MissLuzie arrived on saturday afternoon and although She was weary after Her drive up here, W/we had the most wonderful time together...there were many "perfect" moments and i do believe MissLuzie had just as wonderful time as Her slave most certainly did...
It is just a shame i was not able to spend more time with MissLuzie over the weekend as this useless slave had to work however slave dobby is greatful for the time W/we spent together and slave dobby does admit that he needed that time with Mistress to wind down and relax and MissLuzie certainly made sure of that...smiles
Thank You MissLuzie for a most fantastic and beautiful time with You and i do hope W/we get to spend more time with each O/other very very soon...sighs and smiles xxxx |
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slave dobby did not get a chance to update the journal last night for MissLuzie however knows this is a task which should be completed daily and hopes by updating the journal this morning that it pleases MissLuzie...
slave dobby is sad that he cannot be with MissLuzie this weekend due to circumstances outwith his control at work however this will not stop slave dobby thinking about MissLuzie no matter where he is as slave dobby loves Mistress very much and is just so greatful that he is Her property...
MissLuzie cheered slave dobby up last night and made him feel warm, confortable and relaxed after yet another stressful day at work...slave dobby is very greatful for this and thanks MissLuzie very much...
slave dobby does not know what he would do or how he would react without the constant support, care and loving he receives from MissLuzie especially during this particular stressful period however slave dobby does know that he will always be proud to serve MissLuzie and is considered lucky to be Her Owned and collared slave...thank You MissLuzie...for everything xxxx |
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slave dobby does not have too much to report on today in light of the hectic and stressful day at work and with little contact from MissLuzie however this was partly slave dobby's fault as well...
slave dobby was not 100% attentitive when MissLuzie called earlier and slave dobby is sorry for this...MissLuzie was not having a particularly good day either and slave dobby is truly sorry that he could not be more supportive with Mistress and could not remain in contact with Her more today due to circumstances beyond slave dobby's control...
slave dobby admits that he is under great stress at the moment and is nowhere near his "true" self which of course does not help MissLuzie in any way however slave dobby will try and remain strong and focussed for MissLuzie until everything has settled down again.
slave dobby would also like to thank Mick once more for calling me earlier and to share some of slave dobby's troubles with him...i hope You enjoyed Your bike ride...i think You needed that too!
i also hope MissLuzie has had a much better evening than day She was describing however please know MissLuzie i adore, worship and love You very much...always... |
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slave dobby had a horrendous day today with problems with the car and stress at work however with MissLuzie and Mick, slave dobby knows that he can count on both of these wonderful people to share his troubles and lend an ear to life's stresses.
The most pleasing aspect of the day however was knowing that MissLuzie is having a fantastic day and evening with Mick - at least that makes up for the disappointing day that slave dobby has had.
Every day i really wish that i could be in 24/7 servitude to MissLuzie however it is especially days such as this that i pray the lottery numbers come up and i could live that life with MissLuzie and Mick 24/7...
MissLuzie and Mick have been so supportive and helpful and i am just so greatful that they have been a constant in this slave's life...thank You to both of You...especially MissLuzie for being so understanding, kind and caring always...i love You MissLuzie xxxx |
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slave dobby had a wonderful chat with MissLuzie and Mick this evening and this slave is so greatful that he can chat to MissLuzie and Mick about anything especially after a stressful day at work...thank You to both of You
There was something which MissLuzie said to me tonight though which really made me think and realise that my servitude to MissLuzie really is something very special as i have to admit there are times when i felt i have acted inappropriately in MissLuzie's company and the fear is always there in the back of my mind that i will be dismissed.
Thankfully this has not been the case as MissLuzie has deemed that it has not been a serious enough offence to merit dismissal and of course MissLuzie will punish me always and appropriately for any misdemeanours.
What MissLuzie said though was regarding expectations and how i am letting myself and ultimately MissLuzie down by trying to set my standards of servitude too high from how i see myself in my mind serving MissLuzie and then failing in transferring this to daily real time serving.
To me this is an important lesson and a reality check which slave dobby is greatful to MissLuzie for and why slave dobby needs MissLuzie so very much for all Her training and guidance in order to serve Her in the way that i see myself in my mind in the future.
i understand this is going to be a long process in getting there but i am determined to get there for MissLuzie for all the hard work and effort She has put into this worthless being and making him into something She can be very proud of.
slave dobby knows MissLuzie has taken on a huge responsibility in this slave however this slave will always respect, obey and love MissLuzie for the wonderful Woman and Dominant that She truly is...thank You MissLuzie xxxx |
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slave dobby awoke this morning feeling sad he was not with MissLuzie but still felt so proud and happy that he is the property of MissLuzie and bears all the markings that Mistress wishes for Her pleasure.
This is slave dobby's pleasure to see the pleasure on MissLuzie's face and see Her happy always...smiles
Although W/we had technical issues online tonight, i still had a wonderful evening with MissLuzie on the phone and wish to thank Mistress for this as slave dobby had a stressful day at work.
i love everything about MissLuzie and am very greatful for everything that MissLuzie and Mick that has done for me in the short space of time i have known Them...from allowing me into their lovely home to giving me motivation and fulfilling my desire to serve and worship the beautiful Goddess that is MissLuzie...this slave is very humble and thankful...smiles
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slave dobby is back home now missing MissLuzie and everything about Her...slave dobby had a wonderful time with MissLuzie and Her partner Mick (whom slave dobby has met a couple of times now).
Every moment with MissLuzie was a blessing and an honour however the shopping experience was something else!! MissLuzie picked out a lovely pair of high heels and even allowed slave dobby to buy another pair of slutty thigh boots for stephanie...smiles
There were times however this weekend that slave dobby failed MissLuzie and this was not slave dobby's intention...it makes MissLuzie frustrated and makes slave dobby feel awful as all slave dobby wishes to do is please Mistress in every aspect...slave dobby can only strive to improve through MissLuzie's guidance and care and can only thank MissLuzie for not dismissing this useless being...sorry MissLuzie.
i should also take this opportunity to thank Mick for a wonderful weekend as He also helped slave dobby in times of despair when it seemed slave dobby could do nothing or at least nothing right at certain times for MissLuzie. It is at these times i am glad that MissLuzie has Mick to count on as well as slave dobby just feels so awful to disappoint and fail Mistress in any manner.
Mick has also been kind enough to help slave dobby in training and guidance with many aspects in the relationship and slave dobby is very greatful for this. Mick is also a wonderful person and although i look up to Him, i also regard Him as a true friend whom i can count on when it really matters and there is no one else to turn to. i also hope through time that Mick can also turn to slave dobby (or at least steve) in times of need as Mick has a great personality and like Mistress's personality i love His sense of humour too!!
i am overjoyed and so proud to be MissLuzie's property and although i am sad that i had to leave Mistress, i am also just so greatful that i am allowed to spend any time with MissLuzie and Mick at all...i have brought home many reminders of MissLuzie however the markings that i take for MissLuzie's pleasure will always be special to me as they are after all for MissLuzie's pleasure (and slave dobby gets some pleasure out of it too...winks)
i love MissLuzie deeply...i always will and cannot deny this...i would never deny or hide my feelings to Mistress so i just wish to finish today's journal off on a note of humbleness and a HUGE thank You to MissLuzie and Mick once again for everything that Mistress and Mick has done for slave dobby...MissLuzie...You are very beautiful and oh so special Mistress...bows before You and kisses Your feet...mmmmmm "perfect moment" ...smiles |
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slave dobby is packed and raring to go looking forward to seeing and being with MissLuzie once more and even better still...for an extended weekend!!
There were some low points today however especially when MissLuzie needed me most and i could not be there for Her due to work circumstances...slave dobby humbly apologises for this MissLuzie but please know these were exceptional circumstances today and i will be there for You when You need me most...
Gladly however tonight ended on a high and W/we are both as excited as each O/other to be together again...to experience the D/s and the vanilla aspects of O/our beautiful relationship...this is something slave dobby is very greatful for and always will be and loves MissLuzie with all his heart in every way for the wonderful and beautiful Woman that She is and for the Special Dominant that She has been to me.
i look forward to tomorrow and hope to please MissLuzie and give Her the best long weekend possible...wish me luck...slave dobby will need it (quivers at the misdemeanours)... |
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slave dobby is lost for words this evening for how he feels at the kind, caring and thoughtful words for what slave dobby is doing for MissLuzie...i am Her slave yes but i know i am much more than that for Her now but in all honesty i do hope i can continue to fulfil all that She needs and wants from me...it will certainly not be through the lack of trying as i will always try my utmost for MissLuzie even though i know i will fail sometimes...
According to MissLuzie though it is not about the failing as that is a good excuse to see Her slave suffer lol however i know where She is coming from as W/we all have to learn from O/our mistakes and failures...that is what makes U/us who W/we are when W/we rectify and learn from those mistakes to make U/us better within O/ourselves and just be true to O/oursleves...
slave dobby is also excited about this coming weekend...MissLuzie has granted Her slave permission to see Her earlier than planned and this slave is sooooooo excited...grins
i can't wait to be with MissLuzie once more to serve Her well and just be in Her beautiful presence...i just want to make MissLuzie happy and bring all Her dreams to life...that is what makes this property of MissLuzie really happy...smiles warmly inwardly and outwardly... |
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slave dobby was instructed to get out and enjoy the spring air today...there certainly was a spring in my step especially after last night's enduring punishment...thank You MissLuzie...smiles but in all seriousness slave dobby will remember to let You do the thinking from now on.
As for the walk, i took the same route as MissLuzie and i had taken when W/we went to the beach and there were so many happy, enjoyable memories flooding back to me that i was almost in tears thinking about them...the perfect moments walking hand in hand along the beach with O/one another and yet slave dobby still knew his rightful place at MissLuzie's side...
i have so much respect and adoration for MissLuzie that it is very hard to describe in words but i do love MissLuzie and everything about Her not only for what MissLuzie does to me on an emotional and physical level but what MissLuzie gives to me on these levels as well through treating me as Her property but giving me self respect as a human being and feeling that closeness, warmth and love...
Some people have their O/own ideas with regard to how a D/s relationship should be with some slaves being treated less than human however in O/our case nothing could be further from the truth and that is the way that W/we like it as it suits U/us and it just feels so right.
The vanilla aspect is something i did not think i could ever experience or for that matter enjoy however MissLuzie has shown me what this can be like and i love it and love Her for giving me this opportunity to experience all of this and a whole lot more...MissLuzie please know that i am so proud to be Your property and i do hope that i bring You joy and happiness to Your life and hope that i will do this always...Your slave dobby xxxx |
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Well what can this humble slave say about tonight as i had the most wonderful conversation with MissLuzie again this evening where W/we took the D/s relationship in my humble estimation to another level...all i can say is wow...no make that WOW!!!
MissLuzie is such a beautiful and wonderful Dominant however to me, how She has treated me i have no real adequate words to describe...MissLuzie has taken this useless slave and is moulding him into something that MissLuzie and even this slave dobby is going to proud of...i know that within my heart and soul MissLuzie is training and guiding me not only for Her benefit but mine too so that i can be proud of what i become for Her.
This slave dobby is so very lucky and proud to be Owned and Collared by MissLuzie but also knows that MissLuzie gives this slave so much more fulfillment that any slave could ever hope to have...to serve MissLuzie in every and any way i can and to serve Her well is the only way i know how to repay Her.
slave dobby is being allowed to be in MissLuzie's presence this weekend and slave dobby is so excited and eager as W/we are planning a special shopping trip at some point...this slave is looking forward to all of this but most of all just to be there with and in the presence of serving Mistress...this slave loves MissLuzie with passion, devotion and unconditionally - there is no doubt about that and i am just so greatful to MissLuzie for Her bold insight into taking on this worthless being...thank You ever so much MissLuzie...i love You...always xxxx |
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slave dobby apologises to MissLuzie for this later than usual journal entry...MissLuzie is worried about Her property as he wasn't feeling well last night and although a little better today, is still not feeling 100%.
slave dobby apologises to MissLuzie for making Her worried in this way and hopes it may just be a 24 hour or weekend type bug.
During this period of sickness, MissLuzie has been nothing but supportive, kind, caring and loving however slave dobby must stress that MissLuzie is always like this with Her slave...even when he is being useless and has to be punished.
This slave knows he is not perfect unlike MissLuzie of course however this slave is learning from MissLuzie in every way in how to serve Her well and become the best slave that he possibly can be for Mistress...thank You for that Mistress and everything...i hope to feel better soon so that i can serve MissLuzie properly once more...smiles |
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MissLuzie returns from Her break this evening and wow is slave dobby soooo glad that She is returning as it has been extremely hard without Her here with slave dobby missing Her loving touch, caring hands and of course Her beautiful presence...WELCOME HOME MISTRESS!! Your slave dobby has missed You like crazy...bows at Your feet and worships You with much love and adoration...
slave dobby has been keeping on top of his chores and tasks however there was the misdemeanour on Wednesday evening when slave dobby returned home later than planned but has been suitably punished for this and will make sure it will not happen again that is of course if MissLuzie will grant this slave to have fun of this kind ever again...
slave dobby has experienced many emotions since MissLuzie left for Her break however the ones that will always remain constant with slave dobby is the love and adoration he has for MissLuzie coupled with the fulfilment and joy when slave dobby is permitted to serve Mistress at anytime for Her pleasure...
As proud property of MissLuzie, the one key thing that was missing from this useless slave's life has now been completed and that is the fulfilment and joy serving for Mistress, seeing Her joy when i please Her and make Her proud and of course feeling that care and love from MissLuzie as She takes care of Her property...this Owned and Collared slave is just so proud and happy to serve You Mistress...thank You for everything Mistress...i love You xxxx |
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slave dobby is being severely punished tonight due to abusing MissLuzie's trust in Her property to be responsible last night.
slave dobby accepts the punishment of course however is in no way looking forward to it...depravation of Mistress in any form is hard to take as i am missing Her so much already so to compound this further is going to be hard to bear...
MissLuzie was disappointed in Her property and that was not slave dobby's intention last night...yes chores and reports were done later than expected however MissLuzie was right to think that these would be done at a reasonable hour...like before bedtime.
i understand this was not too much to expect from Her slave and i am disappointed in myself for failing MissLuzie in this way...i can assure Her that this will NOT happen again however it is unlikely that slave dobby will get another chance to have any fun in this way after being so irresponsible last night...i am soooo sorry Mistress.
i am now looking forward to when MissLuzie returns home and hope that i can begin to start giving Her pleasure again rather than have to mete out punishments to Her pathetic excuse for a slave for the moment.
slave dobby just wishes to improve for MissLuzie and make Her happy always unlike last night's performance... |
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Apologies to MissLuzie for a very late entry tonight indeed due to slave dobby indulging at a barbeque this evening although slave dobby was given permission to go slave dobby did not think he would be back this late...sorry MissLuzie
Another phone call was received by slave dobby from MissLuzie and slave dobby was overjoyed to hear Mistress's voice once more and even better as such a vibrant and happiness was flowing from Mistress so i am pleased that MissLuzie is in good spirits and hopes this will continue for the forseeable future.
slave dobby had a wonderful dream about MissLuzie last night and felt incredibly close to Her as slave dobby was permitted to sleep with the pillow and blanket that is normally reserved for MissLuzie...thank You Mistress for this privilege...smiles
i am still missing MissLuzie though and cannot wait till She has returned from Her break so that i can be at least a little closer to Her...i love and worship You Mistress...always xxxx |
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slave dobby was honoured to receive a phone call from MissLuzie today even though She is on Her break...this slave feels so proud yet humble that MissLuzie took Her precious time out to speak to Her property.
slave dobby is also happy to know that MissLuzie is pleased with the texts that slave dobby is sending Her, giving Her daily report updates and letting MissLuzie know how Her slave is feeling each day.
This is not a chore and although it is a task it is one which helps slave dobby focus on his emotions and convey to MissLuzie how Her property is feeling throughout the day and be true to himself and MissLuzie of every emotion.
slave dobby also feels so happy and overjoyed that MissLuzie has seen fit to update Her profile and journal on here to announce that i have become Her property...smiles
This slave is filled with pride and joy and really feels so lucky that MissLuzie has chosen me as Her slave to serve Her and be moulded in the way that She wishes.
There is a long way to go in moulding this slave to the best that he can be for MissLuzie however slave dobby does feel there has been improvement and hopes MissLuzie sees and continues to see this improvement in Her devoted slave.
There is so much more to a D/s relationship than just "roleplay" 24/7 however slave dobby feels so much of a bond and invisble connection which is stronger than any material from this earth and it is this bond which ensures slave dobby will always love, respect and worship MissLuzie each and every day.
As each day passes slave dobby feels the connection grow stronger and stronger and this slave knows there will come a point where MissLuzie will not need to give any verbal commands as one look from Mistress will say it all and slave dobby will pre-empt MissLuzie's wants, needs and desires.
This will be beautiful when this day arrives but for now slave dobby is thankful for the wonderful gift from Mistress which is allowing Her property to think about MissLuzie all the time and for taking Ownership of this useless being...thank You so very much MissLuzie xxxx |
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Goddess MissLuzie has now left for Her much needed break so although slave dobby is sad and pining for MissLuzie he does hope Mistress has a safe, enjoyable and stress free break.
slave dobby knows that MissLuzie will return soon and looks forward to that day when he can be at the feet of MissLuzie, pampering Her and spoiling his beloved Mistress whom he worships and loves with complete devotion.
MissLuzie has also registered Her property on the slave register today which makes slave dobby beem with joy and pride. slave dobby's barcode number is 537-089-650 and slave dobby is eager to find out where and how slave dobby is to wear this number which slave dobby will of course wear with so much pride for his wonderful Mistress and Owner.
slave dobby is just so honoured and grateful that he is in the safe, caring and loving hands of MissLuzie, Owned and Collared and there for MissLuzie to serve Her in any way that he can and be used and abused at Her will fulfilling Her needs, wants and desires.
This is what makes slave dobby happy...serving MissLuzie and seeing Her pleasure and of course to make Her proud of Her property...thank You MissLuzie...kneels in the submissive position...bows my head and kisses Your feet adoringly... |
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slave dobby is sad that MissLuzie has gone once more although i do know it won't be for too long as She takes a much needed break from life's stresses (and Her slave lol). slave dobby will remain focussed and strong however as he has been ordered to!! smiles
Seriously though this slave understands that MissLuzie has taken on an enormous responsibility in collaring this slave however i will always do my best to ensure Mistress's life is as easy and pleasureable as possible whilst ensuring Her needs and wants are always met.
Both MissLuzie and Her slave dobby had a most wonderful weekend and there was another one of those "perfect" moments just before She had to leave which made me very emotional and just so grateful to be the property of Mistress.
i love MissLuzie very much and i will always be there for Her in Her times of need as She has always been there for me even though W/we have known each O/other for a short space of time.
In this space of time however it has almost seemed like W/we have known each O/other for many years which makes me very privileged and lucky.
MissLuzie is a wonderful person first and foremost however She is also a wonderful Mistress that i am proud to serve and be Her property.
This slave will always ensure Her property is looked after with the utmost care and attention to make MissLuzie proud of Her slave and to ensure Her happiness which of course is slave dobby's only wish and desire...to ensure MissLuzie is always happy :) |
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slave dobby would like to thank MissLuzie for a most wonderful weekend once more and for not dismissing dobby when quite clearly She could have upon the suprise inspection yesterday.
slave dobby has received all of his punishments with gratefulness knowing that he must ensure that ALL property of Mistress is kept to an excellent standard including himself.
MissLuzie and slave dobby have spoken at length and understand the time that W/we spend together will have to reduce somewhat for the sake of Her Own life. Although slave dobby is sad at this, i am just so grateful that i am being allowed to spend any time at all with MissLuzie and will always respect Her wants and needs. All slave dobby wishes is for MissLuzie to be happy no matter where She is or whom She is with...slave dobby is also not looking forward to tomorrow as MissLuzie goes back home before taking a break away...slave dobby is really going to miss MissLuzie so much but only because this slave loves his Mistress so much :) |
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slave dobbie was suprisingly shocked this afternoon (in a nice way however) to find that MissLuzie was sitting outside of slave dobbie's house in Her car as slave dobby was thinking She had gone elsewhere for a nice break...WOW!
There was a suprise inspection and unfortunately slave dobby did not meet all of Mistress's requirements and appropriate punishment will of course ensue...slave dobby is disappointed and ashamed of some of the things that Mistress had to point out and slave dobby offers no excuses...slave dobby will accept his punishment(s) and learn from these and also look forward to the time that MissLuzie has graciously granted Her slave to be with Her...slave dobby still can't believe he is updating this journal with MissLuzie in the same room...slave dobby is just so happy and proud to see Mistress once more and show Her how much he cares about Her and loves Her very much.
slave dobby will endeavour to make MissLuzie feel at home, all nice cosy and warm. |
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MissLuzie is out for a wonderful meal this evening...minus Her slave unfortunately...how cruel is that? lol
Seriously though i am missing MissLuzie very much and my heart sinks to a new low when i am not able to be with Her...when i think about Her though, i just think about how much i love Her and how so lucky and proud i am to be collared and Owned by Her.
MissLuzie is so very special in many ways from Her amazing and witty personality, wonderful intellect, overall stunning beauty and of course Her kind, fair and sometimes cruel touch (pictures MissLuzie grinning evilly) lol
i have to apologise to MissLuzie unreservedly though today as Her stupid slave assumed something terrible last night and as a consequence brought upon a terrible misdemeanour and subsequent punishment on himself...slave dobby is in no way looking forward to this punishment and knows what lies in wait should the same misdemeanour occur...a horrible fate which slave dobby does not even wish to contemplate  ...slave dobby only looks forward to learning from his mistakes and the next time that he is permitted the presence of MissLuzie.
Please take care A/all and MissLuzie please know i am thinking of You...always  |
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There are many things a slave needs or wants and even craves however i would like to stress that to become a successful slave, it is not about what the slave needs, wants or craves, it is about focussing on Your Mistress/Dominant and ensuring their needs and wants will always come first...to care for them...to be devoted to them no matter what state of mind and i would like to stress to MissLuzie that Her needs, wants, desires and happiness will always come first no matter what...this may be an important point for all the unsuccessful slaves who apply to potential Dommes with "i like this or i want that"...simple acts of true devotion, selflessness and showing how much You love and care for Your Dominant cost nothing but gain alot...i have found this with MissLuzie and i am the lucky one that has been taken on as Her property...i will always be grateful for this and soon i will bear the permanent marking of MissLuzie...this is something of great importance to me and Mistress and i look forward so much to that day and Her "celebration" of this with Her humble slave dobby.
If granted permission i hope to show the permanent marking on my profile here however this will of course be decided by MissLuzie, the beautiful and most wonderful Goddess this worthless being could ever hope to serve... |
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this slave is so proud to serve MissLuzie and at times does not feel worthy of being Her slave...all this slave wishes to do is make MissLuzie happy and tonight due to a number or reasons at work and home MissLuzie was so understanding and caring about Her slave and how She could help this worthless being tonight...for that i am so thankful to MissLuzie as there were many times i could have just broken down and cried today and tonight through frustration at times, anger at others and joy with MissLuzie...my emotions were all over the place today and here is me property of MissLuzie supposed to be strong for Her however tonight MissLuzie was there for me and She said She would be always which makes this slave feel so proud and humbled...thank You so very much MissLuzie...i love You xxxx |
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Tonight's entry is more of a plea to any psychics or anyone with premonition skills to please pass on the winning lottery numbers to me or MissLuzie as i have only been away from Mistress for just over 24 hours and i am missing Her very much...to be with MissLuzie 24/7 would be a dream come true to know that i am really there for Her by Her side 24/7 meeting all of Her needs and wants and to ensure Her complete happiness...This slave's focus will remain on MissLuzie always and i do feel that W/we have grown with each O/other in a very short space of time and W/we will continue to grow as each day passes whereby this slave will improve to a level that exceeds Mistress's expectations and allow MissLuzie a stress free life and environment. MissLuzie is a beautiful, caring and loving person and i love Her for the person She is and the Mistress that will always have this slave as Her property to use as She sees fit when She wishes... |
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slave dobby was proudly collared by MissLuzie on 24th March 2007.This slave feels very lucky to have been granted this wonderful opportunity to grow and fulfil the potential this useless slave has to serve MissLuzie well and to ensure Her happiness always...smiles |
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