mindfirst60

Broke my little finger AGAIN and have done something nasty to my right knee, down climbing limestone beach cliffs is stupid... Still the views were worth it! This is going to put a crimp in activities for a week or two.

I find your lack of faith, disturbing...

Well I've just about had it waiting for the decent weather to arrive! Decided to just head off this weekend anyway, rock and rope awaits...

Had a refreshingly good day today, went climbing at a favourite spot and despite the best efforts of mother nature to intervene with sporadic rain still managed to have fun. I took a long time partner in kink to try convince her it is a great way to really unwind and she gave it a real go. Not too happy on the decent phase but still rewarding to see her try and succeed. When the weather warms up a little I think I might take her along again,  :)

R

Have rediscovered my love of breast bondage! Had an old friend staying last week and enjoyed many hours tying and retying her wonderful rack. I wonder just what it is about this that makes it so appealing to me? The glorious shape of tied tits is certainly a big part as is the continuously changing colour. Happy days, tits and rope, rope and tits...

Please don't feed the monkeys, it only encourages them...

Nothing focuses the mind like finding yourself 40m up a rock cliff and running out of holds! Its one of the best things about climbing I find, no room for other thoughts just rock and rope and where to put my hands next.

It used to be like that for me with bondage, getting an hour or so into a strict rope session and planning the next twist to surprise my "victim". The technical challenge of balancing the ties to suit the sub. Lately I have become somewhat jaded, its almost like I have exhausted all options. I know this isn't true really, what I need is something new, a new challenge, a new repertoire, something to bring the life back into the play I love so much. Something that makes me feel like I'm suspended 40m up a cliff face...

I have just finished reading a fascinating book by Derren Brown (google him if you don't know who he is, you will then want to watch everything he has ever done...) and he devotes much of one chapter to why "kindness" is the most worthy trait you can have. A quote from the end;

"Each of us is living a difficult life, and when we meet people we are seeing only a tiny part of the thinnest veneer of their complex, troubled existences. To practice anything other than kindness towards them, to treat them in any way save generously, is to quietly deny them their humanity."

I know this sentiment may seem seem oddly out of place in a forum such as this however the basic tenant, that treating everyone with kindness can make the world a better place still holds. For some their required "kindness" may be humiliation, discomfort or pain appropriate to their kink. Not really sure where I'm going with that but anyway, I like it!

R

Breasts, tits, boobs, hooters, norks, call em what you will. Why are they what they are? I mean they work perfectly well as infant feeding device in quite a small size so why do they get so big? I am going to go out on a limb here and possible incur the wrath of many a woman but here goes. They are the size and shape they are because they look fantastic! A pair of large breasts is a sight that will grab the eye of most males without them even realising they are looking. Seriously. And of course that attractiveness has its advantages from a perpetuation of the species perspective but damn they are are just so lovely to look at...

Big ones are also better hand holds too, nothing like a decent handful of tit in the height of passion, and none of that fake silicone rubbish, give me a nice, soft, real, fleshy boob any day.

Sorry, too much beer I think. Ah fuck it, every guy thinks it anyway...

It's stopped raining, I'm going climbing. Leave me a message after the beep. ***Beep***

Polarity, or action and reaction, we meet in every part of nature; in darkness and light; in heat and cold; in the ebb and flow of waters; in male and female; in the inspiration and expiration of plants and animals; in the equation of quantity and quality in the fluids of the animal body; in the systole and diastole of the heart; in the undulations of fluids, and of sound; in the centrifugal and centripetal gravity; in electricity, galvanism, and chemical affinity. Superinduce magnetism at one end of a needle; the opposite magnetism takes place at the other end. If the south attracts, the north repels. To empty here, you must condense there. An inevitable dualism bisects nature, so that each thing is a half, and suggests another thing to make it whole; as, spirit, matter; man, woman; odd, even; subjective, objective; in, out; upper, under; motion, rest; yea, nay.

Compensation 1841

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Truth or Dare; I'll go first.

What is the thing you fear most but most want to try?

Satisfactory answers can challenge me.

Slipped climbing yesterday, broke the little finger on my left hand.

Note to self; don't climb in the rain...

Cunt.

Offended or intrigued? Vagina, pussy, cunt, three commonly used words to describe the same thing. Of course each has very different context, intent and acceptance. But what puzzles me is why the two common alternates to vagina have become derogatory, pussy obviously the softer insult than cunt. What the???

I like cunt, pussy, vaginas, they are good things. And I am pretty sure most guys would agree with this view point. Maybe this has come from the women then, the monthly blight of menstruation causing them to curse their own equipment? I must confess though I am not really a fan of pussy, it seems way too soft and cuddly in the world of bdsm preferring the more clinical vagina or outright cunt for its blunt intent.

It's an odd language we have...

She bruises, coughs, she splutters pistol shots
But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks
She's morphine, queen of my vaccine
My love, my love, love, love, la, la, la

Alt-J

In the realm of the mind imagination is the conductor coaxing music from the instruments of the senses. Dreams present you with smells you recall, sights you have seen and sounds you have heard combined in patterns you haven't experienced. Why does your unconscious mind delve into such muddy concoctions? And why indeed do your infinitely more perverted daydreams invite you to indulge in that that shocks the "real" you? Does your mind want to corrupt you? Do you like that it tries?

R

The law of benefits is a difficult channel, which requires careful sailing, or rude boats. It is not the office of a man to receive gifts. How dare you give them? We wish to be self-sustained. We do not quite forgive a forgiver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten. We can receive anything from love, for that is a way of receiving it from ourselves; but not from any one who assumes to bestow. We sometimes hate the meat which we eat, because there seems something of degrading dependence in living by it.

Gifts 1841

Ralph Waldo Emerson

WOW

Continuing from previous posts...

Humiliating or not? Depends very much on the individual, their experiences and taboos. Ok some other examples to discuss;

Undressing in front of a partner, innocent enough but easily turned into something embarrassing if not downright humiliating when asked (forced, instructed?) to do it while that partner sits clothed and watches you. Not for all of course but many women find this a very intimidating prospect.

Masturbating while a partner watches, again as part of "normal" sex nothing too exotic but consider this scenario. You are instructed to sit on a coffee table legs spread wide while still (mostly) dressed, your partner sits opposite you fully clothed in a comfy chair and asks (forces, instructs?) you to masturbate to orgasm while he watches. Easy or hard, and why? Entrenched taboos about masturbation perhaps, still an innocent act turned into something much more.

Even more interesting is the differing reactions, why is it that some women actually enjoy this type of treatment even though it does embarrass or humiliate them? I have seen the reaction myself, deep red flushed face, unable to make eye contact, stuttering speech, rapid breathing and yet they crave this, need this, get off on this. For others of course the reaction is genuine horror, "real" humiliation so that they will avoid this type of thing at all costs. 

So how to tell who likes it and who doesn't? Very hard and not guessable so ask first, why ruin an otherwise excellent relationship!

Hmm, last week I wrote a short piece about humiliation and received several very interesting and thought provoking emails in response. One talked about her dilemma where she found herself accepting her Dom pissing on her occasionally despite her feeling it was very degrading to her. She accepted it because it made him happy and he didn't seem to notice her  discomfort and, crucially she was happy in all other respects.

This started me thinking about that most ubiquitous of all  sex acts in porn (and increasingly in modern sex life), the facial cumshot. Is this something that many modern and otherwise vanilla women are accepting simply to keep their partners happy in much the same way as my correspondent was accepting being pissed on? I wonder. Now obviously there are women who really do enjoy it, I relate my own experience in my previous post on humiliation as one example. But could it be that a large number of plain, vanilla ladies are regularly being humiliated or degraded simply to humour their boyfriend, partner, husband, etc?

If so what does that say about the psychology of modern women? Has the modern, liberated in many other ways, woman been made to submit to the male in this most curious way? What does it say about the men? Are they asserting their dominance with this finale borrowed from porn? Has D&S crept into mainstream sex without anyone noticing? 

I make no secret of the fact that I enjoy the act of ejaculating onto a woman's face, it does carry a strong dominate overtone for me. Towering over the (usually) helpless woman and watching my seed paint her cheeks is a visually exciting experience.

Interesting...

Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events. Great men have always done so, and confided themselves childlike to the genius of their age, betraying their perception that the absolutely trustworthy was seated at their heart, working through their hands, predominating in all their being. And we are now men, and must accept in the highest mind the same transcendent destiny; and not minors and invalids in a protected corner, not cowards fleeing before a revolution, but guides, redeemers, and benefactors, obeying the Almighty effort, and advancing on Chaos and the Dark.

Self-Reliance 1841

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Humiliation, its a tricky one and I have found subject to vastly different interpretations. Over the years I have encountered it a lot, seen and heard it discussed but never found any sort of consensus that properly describes its use within the context of BDSM. What different people find humiliating or not often surprises me simply because it often can't be predicted from their other behaviour.

Perhaps a few examples would help to illustrate my point; take Jan a late 30's married housewife that I played with many years ago. Her thing was breast bondage, she loved having her tits tied in all sorts of ways but was not interested in any other aspects at all or so I thought at first. After a half dozen meets where I simply spent an hour or so tying her tits in a variety of ways I asked her if there was anything else she would like to try, for instance would she like to masturbate and bring herself off while she was tied? We had established at the outset that sex was out as was me playing with her cunt in any way, she somehow used this to justify to herself that she wasn't being unfaithful to her husband that way. She responded with horror, not because it violated her rules but simply that there was no way she would ever let any one watch her masturbate, She had always been evasive about the subject as I had been curious from the beginning as to if she went home and got herself off afterwards. But then it got more intriguing, she very timidly told me that one thing she would really like to do was to wank my cock and watch me cum as it was something she had never done and always wanted to. I agreed on the condition that she did it while kneeling in front of me and while her tits were still tied. She agreed readily and got to work, she had no idea what she was doing and it took a lot of guidance to get her using the right grip etc. When I came she was staring mesmerised at the tip and caught my load  full on the forehead with quite a lot ending up in her hair. Afterwards she composed herself and got dressed without once touching my cum which by now had dripped down her nose. After she was gone I was left wondering, "what the?"... From then on it became a ritual almost and continued like that, tit bondage and handjob until I left to go overseas for work several months later.

And overseas in the US was in fact where I encountered the next piece of this puzzle. I was working in San Jose and had hooked up with a mid 20's girl heavily into the scene in SF. She was into just about anything, strict bondage, spanking, clamps, etc and in contrast to Jan I had to physically restrain her from masturbating most of the time! Also in contrast to Jan she hated cum on her face but more especially in her hair. One time during a session where she was tightly bound she had been sucking me off and I had decided to take the opportunity to paint her face, as soon as she realised what I was about to do she yelled out and dodged her head to the side as much as her binding would allow so my load ended up in her hair. To say she was upset is an understatement, she almost cried afterwards and told me how much she hated it saying specifically that she found it disgusting and humiliating.

Never assume. I had made the assumption based on the rest of her behaviour and just gone ahead without asking her. That was a mistake I have learned from and from reading many, many comments on sites like this I see a lot of "doms" could learn from also. I think the most common area of error is in using degrading names, slut, cunt, whore and all the many varied combinations. I have met a lot of subs who like this and others who hated it. Some who like it in the context of a play session but not at other times. Then there are those who like some "insults" and not others, I find it always best to find out before using them at all.

Hmmm, I think I have rambled enough for today although this is an almost endless topic. Not sure if any one will bother to read it but I don't really care, I just needed to get that one off my chest.

R

Never underestimate life's ability to throw you curve balls when you lest expect them...

But back now and looking to have some fun.

Simple request; (very) busty lady wanted to try out new breast tying techniques. No sex, nothing else just someone who likes having her tits tied up! Need to be a D cup at least for this to work correctly. Must (obviously) be local to Perth metro. Any takers?

Rope, check. Candles, check. Clothes pegs, check. Gaffer tape, check.

Should be fun tonight...

There is no weakness or exposure for which we cannot find consolation in the thought,—this is a part of my constitution, part of my relation and office to my fellow-creature. Has nature covenanted with me that I should never appear to disadvantage, never make a ridiculous figure? Let us be generous of our dignity as well as of our money. Greatness once and forever has done with opinion. We tell our charities, not because we wish to be praised for them, not because we think they have great merit, but for our justification. It is a capital blunder; as you discover, when another man recites his charities.

Heroism 1841

Ralph Waldo Emerson

We have found out fine names to cover our sensuality withal, but no gifts can raise intemperance. The man of talent affects to call his transgressions of the laws of the senses trivial and to count them nothing considered with his devotion to his art. His art rebukes him. That never taught him lewdness, nor the love of wine, nor the wish to reap where he had not sowed.

"It is one of those fables which out of an unknown antiquity convey an unlooked-for wisdom, that the gods, in the beginning, divided Man into men, that he might be more helpful to himself; just as the hand was divided into fingers, the better to answer its end."

The American Scholar 1837

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like caving and rock climbing, maybe its just because I get to handle ropes? Not sure but there is something very engaging about being in intimate contact with the earth. Finger tips locked into tiny holds, body pressed tight against the cold (or warm) rock. The smell, the colours, the direct link between action and consequence, the clink of the carabiners and the feel of the ropes. Mind clear of all else, focus, look for the next hold, push.

I have an idea, I want to build a box. With a wooden base and frame about a metre tall and inside this box will be a sub tied tightly to the frame.

It will be covered by a cardboard box with one small slit on one side in front of her eyes. She will be totally naked and have a running vibrator stuffed inside her.

During the middle of the day I would take this occupied box out to a city location in the back of a delivery van and lift it out onto a hand trolley. I would then wander around with a clip board in hand bumping my package on its trolley along foot paths, through the lunch time crowds until finally returning to the van. During the whole time the sub in the box will see her progress through the tiny slot. What do you think, would you like to be in the box?

Interesting development. I find I am really enjoying arranging "abductions". I was first approached a few weeks back by a woman who wanted, in her words "to be kidnapped and abused". While not normally my type of thing after discussing it with her there was enough intersecting interests to catch my attention. I planned the entire scene so that I could tick the boxes she was looking for while giving me what I wanted out of the encounter. This weekend we managed to put my little meta-drama into action with her only aware of certain details. After 3 hours of being "tormented", blindfolded and tied in the back of my 4WD she declared it was more than she hoped for. It was fun for me also although I must admit to being just as taken with the planning as anything else. I would also prefer to wait for slightly warmer weather before my next attempt as it was pretty damn cold tucked away in that secluded hills forest...

Today I feel its time to hear from Neil Simon's Barefoot in the Park.

"There are watchers in this world and there are doers. And the watchers sit around watching the doers do."

"I predict interesting complications. Am I making you nervous? Very nervous. Ha! Wonderful. Once a month I try to make pretty young girls nervous just to keep my ego from going out."

Enjoy life and be a doer.

True leaders attract respect by their presence and deeds. The silent command of a look or a set of the shoulders, service to this leadership is a privilege. And so it is with a good Dom, no call for raised voice or threats. The submissive melts under this control wanting nothing more than to please, to hear the praise for an achievement however small from the lips of the Master. Conviction of action, strength of decision, steely determination, all attractive qualities to those who chose to serve. Any comments?

I leave you with more wisdom from the great Ralph Waldo Emerson;

"Who has more obedience than I masters me, though he should not raise his finger. Round him I must revolve by the gravitation of spirits."

I have good dispositions; my life has been hitherto harmless and in some degree beneficial; but a fatal prejudice clouds their eyes, and where they ought to see a feeling and kind friend, they behold only a detestable monster.

A remarkable parallel?

From the genius hand of Mary Shelley.

Conformity and predictability.

I see it all around, Doms conforming to the Dom stereotype, Subs conforming to the Sub stereotype. In a place where original spirits should abound and surprise, why so often do I instead find drab predictability?

Submissives with endless wish lists that preclude all practicality,  Doms with equally ludicrous demands. Excessive attention to the minutia of our chosen lifestyle, over analysis of wants and needs. We have set forth on this path, a major deviation from the vanilla existence, and in so doing have become a curiosity in their eyes. So why now at the point of breaking free do so many scuttle into the rut of conformity? All are taught to conform from childhood, through school and beyond but we are the individuals who have dared to live some of our deeper fantasies and brush away that cloak. We don't have the luxury of numbers to be complacent in this, we are a small community, diverse in age, size and location. Open your eyes and dare to look afresh on this most wonderful lifestyle, drop your prejudices, your preconceptions and search with a truly open mind. To paraphrase the Rolling Stones; You may not find what you want but you may just find what you need. And then who knows, you may surprise even yourself.

And truly it demands something godlike in him who has cast off the common motives of humanity, and has ventured to trust himself for a taskmaster. High be his heart, faithful his will, clear his sight, that he may in good earnest be doctrine, society, law, to himself, that a simple purpose may be to him as strong as iron necessity is to others!

Ralph Waldo Emerson

What an incredible intellect! Something all who wish to lay claim to being a Dominant  should aspire to...

I like rope.

I have a rope fetish really, I collect it all the time to the point it has actually become an obsession. I have found a few good sources of ropes over the years and regularly update my collection with anything new or interesting. Boating suppliers have some lovely stuff, as do climbing suppliers although their ropes tends to be rather pricey. But really cost doesn't matter too much as I like to work with shorter lengths anyway...

I like how rope looks against warm skin, I like the patterns they leave behind when they come off. Different types of rope for different purposes, soft and flexible for narrow wrists, stiffer for body ties.

And then there's what rope does to the souls it binds. That magical transformation when despite the struggles they become helplessly captive, a sly smile betraying their complete submission to the situation. Held tight, safe, in the cocoon of bondage.

I really do like rope...

WTF is it with this 50 Shades book? All of sudden there seems to be a plethora of average, vanilla women who *think* they want some BDSM action. Over the weekend I had what I considered to be a fairly nice first session with one of these women who seemed to think that at some point I was going to get all romantic and tender. After about two hours or so of some fairly simple but interesting bondage and an intro to spanking and some light crop she was surprised and disappointed when I told her that we were done. I had made it quite clear that was the agenda but she told me she thought I was only kidding and that there would be some fucking or something else along the way. I guess I need to read this book to find out what sort of slant it's putting on this lifestyle and in the meantime avoid anyone who says its because of the the book that they got interested in this...

So here we go again, another entry in a blog. Does anybody real read this stuff or is it all just so much vapour in a virtual world? In my wanderings I've moved in and out of the scene, twenty years of new faces but too often the same old, same old. New cities, new forums mostly populated by vacuous nonentities who drift along unaware of the real world that is passing them by. Jaded? Sure, cynical? Certainly, so why I am here? A forlorn hope that somewhere amidst all this dross some real soles survive. The brave and courageous who have the power to lift themselves above the mundane, vanilla existence that pervades our society and be something special. To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson; "The heroic cannot be the common, nor the common the heroic. Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age."

Go on, surprise me...