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Hello, I am seeking open dialogue and hopefully meaningful connection.
My ideal relationship is one based around a mutual love, support, encouragement, respect, and effort... delivered in very different ways.
I would like to offer my devotion, admiration, obedience, respect, hard work, and loyalty. My innocence-tinged enthusiasm, idealism, romanticism, and encouragement might find a home as a refreshing and welcome energy. I love being doting, but it does become rather needy and clingy. I should hope that is acceptable.
I am also fairly intelligent. Not particularly well educated, but I am a deep thinker. I seek the same. I most admire logical minds. Those of mathematical, strategic, and analytical strength. As much as I admire those qualities, I am very much emotionally driven, despite myself.
I like a dry wit and a touch of degeneracy. I veer into moral relevance by sheer virtue of my unsavory upbringing and the mandatory survival of the fairly obvious trauma of my developmental years. In mention of it, I will be forthcoming on that matter to once the question is posed.
Sexually, I regress into a state of infancy or something akin to it. It is not my choice and not ideal, but I seek someone who understands.
I would like to be submissive, with some allowance made for my rebellious instincts. I fight, struggle, push back, talk back, rebel, and even run. Despite this, my absolute favorite is a meek state of utter subservience. It is not a permanently maintainable state as I have worked very hard to develop strength within myself and eventually found a way to present that to the outside world. Also, I do just like to shit talk a bit. I like a chill moment and my submissive side is not very chill. It is needy and anxious and more than a fair bit eager to please.
I quite desire micromanagement. I have a lifelong history with disordered eating and while I am quite fitness focused, I do still struggle with bouts of under and over eating. I like structure, rigor, discipline, and data. My ideal partner is also fit. I want to admire the dedication and discipline. While this is not mandatory, it is ideal.
Obesity is a hard limit. I am sorry but I will not consider a partner who is more than slightly overweight. Not for vanity reasons. I have experienced the death of a most beloved person as a result of obesity. We can call it a trigger.
I am also interested in being made to wear diapers. I am not quite an ageplayer, but due to my regression, it cannot be helped. I maintain a very tender innocence deeply entrenched in the core of my being. Being taken there by someone is a most vulnerable and desperately dependent state for me. I hope to explore that.
Furthermore, I quite like the art of rope bondage. While its a lot to ask that someone should be an experienced rigger, I state clearly here that I aim to explore this regardless of any partnership. I quite like gymnastic engagement.
Lastly, my interests quite the far range. The main desire is to find a Daddy,Dom,Master in the of a partner, lover, and friend. I am open to quite a lot of exploration. Some of my interests veer well into edge play or extremes. My favorite of it all, and the absolutely mandatory thing, is a mind fuck. I want to be known deeply, seen, explored, abused, broken, guided, loved, and nurtured into the most beneficial state of self exploration, growth, and development. I want to always strive to become my greatest possible self, inside and out, for the sake of someone else. I have no self esteem, I am prideful, stubborn, and self destructive. I do not do things for myself. But I am devoted and desirous of pleasing others and making someone proud. In exchange for such patience, I hope my eager dedication will suffice to feed his own needs.
To those who seek inward and see the extremes in their selves, the good and the bad. The father, protector, fighter, leader, the benevolent dictator. The cruel, angry, violent, monstrous, desirous, lecherous. I want to know all parts of you as you know them. I want to create a space for you to feel like a king or a God. I want to create a space for you to be the monster, to be selfish, to be cruel. I want to be a brother in arms as you traverse the seas of life, when you are strong, and when you are weak. I want to be the Alfred to your Batman and, of course, the Harley Quinn to your Joker. I want to remember that you are not flawless, faultless, perfect, or all-knowing. I want to let you make mistakes and not hold them against you. I want to support you, encourage you, and... honestly, I would love to be a muse for you, a reason why your life feels more complete, why you feel more ready than yesterday to face the day, to grow in yourself, to explore yourself further, to be stronger, to be hopeful, to be playful, to feel youthful, to seek adventure, to dream, to create, to seek your passions and to live your greatest life.
This is my dream. It is idealistic and flowery and childish and hopeful, but it is my deepest and truest hearts desire. I feel hardened, conditioned to never expect it could happen to me. I am afraid and... I fear Ive long ago decided I am undeserving of any such thing. Maybe I could have it if I did not fight, and run, and destroy any chance. I do not know. But I wrote this, and I expect nothing much to come of it. Do feel free to talk to me, but do not hold it against me that I am extremely doubtful that anything significant might come of this confessional profile.
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