milleplateaux


Miller Male Dominant, 57, Dallas, Texas	miller005 Male Submissive, 21, Tampa, Florida	Miller1309 Submissive Couple, 48

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	About milleplateaux Brainy filth freak. Actual human being. Just here for entertainment. Into: getting into your head, making you cry. Making you want me to get into your head and make you cry, and withholding. Not into: feet.

I just want to shit on a girl's chest and tittie-fuck her. Is that so wrong?

So hard to find a girl who is into poop but not into diapers.

How did I go this long without getting into tumblr porn?

Ladies of Collarme:
Clean your fucking rooms.? Jeezus.

I've been thinking about why I keep a journal here and why I'm on this site in general and I think that really it's not about meeting people (except for the occasional checkins to confirm what's normative) or even wasting time but to have place to post my uncensored thoughts - which is a kind of kink in the sense that I'm doing something that could be painful to me or others.? Like for example the other night I was reading some lengthy blog post about why rape jokes are bad and wrong and on the one hand I could totally agree and see how this was just one facet of a whole system of patriarchal oppression, but on the other hand that I kept thinking "why is it that all academic feminist bloggers write in exactly the same voice"? and this seemed like some internalized BS on the one hand (a more complicated way of saying "this dumb bitch needs to shut up") but on the other hand I always feel like there's something there to the feeling I get when I see people identifying too much with their status as outsiders, or that tension between acceptance and identifcation as an affinity group.? I mean which could all just be some totally weird and derivative and meta form of me being on the wrong side of things, and it just might be how a? whole lot of early-childhood conditioning in the violent enforcer branch of imperialism (religious conservative military family) looks after it's bashed against a few years of late adolescent attempts at psychedelic/subcultural enlightenment.? But I keep looping back to lurking on these scenes and discussions that I find repulsive and infuriating for all kinds of reasons, and I think somehow in a self-presentational or self-conceptual way there's a balancing act there where I can look at these feelings, still intact and hooked into all of that machinery of wrongness, and pull on the wires and trace them back to their sources.

I'm curious about what Pantheon all of the"Goddesses" on here belong to because their schtick all seems to be pretty Old Testament, which isn't really effective when there are 30 of them standing by for your credit card number.

I guess it's for the best that Fela didn't live long enough to see the country he suffered so much for turn into the home of thousands of dudes surfing American bondge personals sites trying to sell me fake bike parts via Paypal.

Update - of course, just after I post this I get a "what's up" message from a couple in "New York, Nigeria".

I've totally managed to replace smoking with hanging out on this website as the thing to do when I'm bored or restless.? Cigarettes will probably take 15 years off my life at the end, whereas this website probably takes up an hour of my day to achieve the same effect.? I suppose, that's a slight gain in terms of time wasted.

"Perversion" is just another brand. Like "Freedom".? Is there anything more despair-inducing, more indicative of contemporary-America-as-Weimar Germany (pre-genocidal tension, pro-dictatorial apathy) than the fact that we can't even rebel without falling into an imitation of the Corporate paradigm? (Even the plodding cadence of the acronym "BDSM" sounds like the name of the kind of agribusiness conglomerate that would sponsor episodes of "Meet the Press".)? I'm not even talking about politically-engaged rebellion (which might try to keep social responsibility in its self concept and which might aspire change the application of power from within the system, and thus require a hierarchy of leaders and followers, skills 'n' experience, our flavor vs everyone else) but Perversion: decadence, lust, rage, joy, (fraternity and trust even?) have together been bundled with Wal-Mart grade shackles and outflanked by yet another subculture of conformity so narcissistic that it spend the better part of its day rationalizing its way around its own conformity. ?

When Gitmo goes franchise nationwide let's have a showdown between the BDSMers and the Hipsters over the masochism of investing all of your cash and emotional attachment into the logistical nightmare of maintaining a sufficiently impressive collection of obscure vinyl audio recordings (which to an alien anthropologist would be no more than fussing over the carving-patterns on your pressed dinosaur turds) versus the potential for personal and social liberation found in running away from home as a teen and giving yourself over body and intentions to become a collectible object for the kind of guy who's probably yearning for the Old South? only a little less than for Blackwater's IPO.

(And as we end our days in cages we can all twitter to each other about who we knew in 2002.)

Christ.? Why can't I find a pretty girl who'll kick me when I'm feeling down, and not expect anything in return.

why do i keep dating ~~women who have been sexually abused as children~~ women who remind me of my mother?

I think it's totally possible for people to have a meaningful relationship that exhausts itself naturally - you learn all you wanted to learn from a person and when you're done there's no common ground on which to build a partnership.? It happens.? I don't know why people think of this as a point of failure that should be "worked through" and overcome.

Musing on Missing Checkboxes for Various Fetishes, II

I wonder if I'm the only one here who gets turned on by weird music.? Gratuitously harsh stuff like Merzbow just kind of leaves me cold (and most of the current "noise" bands just annoy me because the fake transgression, the ironic racism, the "confrontational" rape jokes, are? obviously the pose of a spoiled post-adolescent nihilist whose biggest problem is the awkward phonecall he has to make once a month to get his rent direct-deposited for his parents), but weird / alienating stuff totally turns me on.?? "It's Gonna Rain" or "Visage" or even "I'm Sitting in a Room."? I dated somebody once who liked to listen to 45's on a 16RPM turntable - that was hot.?

So, big "check" for "weird music".

It's funny how almost all people are selectively squeamish about human physiology and its by-products.? I once asked a bunch of friends of mine if they were forced to, would they rather have a bucket of saliva or a bucket of piss dumped over their heads - almost all of them chose the piss because objectively, it's a sterile liquid, while who knows what's floating around in somebody's spit.? But there was one guy who just couldn't get over that *it's piss* and would take the bucket of spit instead.?

I don't think I'll ever understand people who are all like "I'm into public humiliation, beatings, gang rape, and sleeping in a coffin, but don't ever urinate on me because that's just too freaky."? But I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm at a much different state of arrested development form most "BDSM" folk.
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For me the turn off is dirty feet.? No. Thank. You.? I'm indifferent to piss, and kind of like spit in the context of gagging and rough oral sex and (confession time) I get really turned on by watching porn where a girl gets deepthroated and upchucks on herself a little.? I've never done that myself, but I'd love to, and believing in reciprocity the way I do, I'm totally turned on by the idea of somebody forcing a dildo, or a fingers (but not a foot!) into my mouth and making me puke all over myself.? Followed by a few good hard slaps to the face, please.?
I definitely have a fetishistic love/hate relationship with shit.? I love all things anal, but a big part of the turn on for me is the thought that what I'm doing is so filthy and wrong.?? Hence my whole tongue-in-the-ass obsession: there's the feeling of personal accomplishment at seeking out a potentially shameful and embarassing situation and overcoming it for the pleasure that lies beyond shame, and then the addicting hyperawareness that doubles with each milimeter that my tongue slides inside.? Seriously puts me into a catatonic state of rapture (where again, a well-timed slap across the face makes for the perfect release of tension.)
When I'm in the mood for humiliation, the thought of somebody (a beautiful woman, whom I worship) shitting on me is like the ultimate finishing move.? But I feel like I should save at least one thing for marriage.?

On the Checkboxes for Interests and Fetishes, Part I:

(I know, joining dating sites to critique the application design is like reading Playboy for the articles...)

I'm surprised that they don't have checkboxes for "Financial Consequences" and "Legal Consequences".? I know there are some guys out there who think it's hot when a girl steals their credit card number and uses it for herself ("everytime I get lonely I think of you and buy myself a new handbag") but since my submissive side doesn't come from guilt over running a hedge fund, I'm not one of them.?

How does a concept like perversion, which by definition should be unbounded, find itself encased in a carcinogenic sheath of orthodoxy and commodification?

Is there anyone else who sees people T/type L/like T/this and think of the G/geese from "Charlotte's Web"?

Why do people treat lust as something dishonest and transient, love as exclusively true and honest, and totally disavow fear and anger?? why not have a physical relationship that incorporates all of these feelings, and that is grounded in reason, and narcissism and revenge, or acting out pre-defined roles.

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milleplateaux

About milleplateaux