Under consideration –not looking here only to journal of my journey into submission.

It has been a long 6 months of hit and miss and many fakes as well as those you were not a good fit for me. Finally a man who took no shit from me didn’t allow me to manipulate him as so many “Doms” seemed to do just to try and keep me .

In fact it was me who 3 times prior told him thanks but no thanks because what he wanted from me was not what made me happy or so I thought at the time.

He (strictnotinsane) is so different from so many ,he did not ask but for one picture of me clothed to prove who I was, he did not talk about sex as it was the only thing the matter, he did not try to force cam shows or for that matter anything else instead he waited as he said he would even when I had told him it was not working he stayed and waited for he knew he was right he was what and is I need.

I thought he was somewhat arrogant and that at first turned me off ,I don’t like arrogance of any type , but as time when on and one dom after another fell by the wayside there he was not writing me but I knew he was waiting none the less.

I first told him to kind of go to hell after he asked me to tell him about my life. I wrote two small paragraphs telling him only the very basics of it. He wrote back within a day with the following comment. “if that is all you can put into your submission you are not worth my time find someone less demanding than I” write when your serious about exploring this. I read that and wrote back go to hell that’s all your getting.

I waited for a reply a very angry one as most men seem to send none came I waited longer well talking to others still nothing from him. Hmmm maybe I had made a mistake I wrote back to him apologize to him, his only response was I knew what to do. So I wrote about my life much longer more detailed than I have ever had to anyone but my very best friends. He wrote back much better but what was I hiding what was I not telling him? We argued back and forth for a couple of days as I said I had told him everything . he said I had not and knew it that he could feel it in my words and the way they were presented to him. I did not argue back I simply said he was expecting way to much to soon. His message back was simple and short  he expected honesty nothing more and wished me well. It was the second time we parted ways.

I went on to talk to many more some seem like a fit but in short order all fell through. I knew I would write again to him but was stubborn and to be honest as I now am I was afraid for I knew he knew me better than I even knew myself I knew I could not hide with him he would not let me ,even an inch .

I wrote to him again telling him of the things I left out minor things to me and most really nothing I had hid was earth shattering ,I was single ,not dating no significant other in my life. What I hid was small things about me ,I was messy and had a messy home ,I work hard as many do and relax at home kind of in a slob state I guess. Not that there is garbage everywhere but there is clothes ,dirty dishes and an unclean home. This is when he told me I was slob almost a pig and needed to be trained to be human ,he was right of course but I didn’t want to hear the truth I told him this wasn’t why I was here and told him to fuck off not nice I know but I was angry not so much at him as myself for letting things get to a state where I was a pig ,yes I admit  I felt like a pig and it made me that much angrier . he wrote back “ it is exactly why I was here “ I just didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t write or talk again to anyone for a month not even him.

I went back to communicating with others but knew in my heart where and to who I belonged . He was right so I swallowed my pride and actually begged him to take me under consideration you could say I groveled for him.

He wrote me back a short note it simply said “ now I was ready”.

What he did next was make it clear to me where my place was and if I didn’t like it ,it would be the last time we spoke. We shared many things and most I as yet will not share for they were very private but here is the jest of my new service to him to Sir as I now call him he has earned it as I have also earned it to call him.

This past week I took off work on vacation except it was no vacation. I was made to take a picture of every room in the house as it was. I must admit it looked disgusting to look at them. I was then told to clean two rooms a day until they were completely cleaned take a pictures when done and told to clean again if it didn’t meet his satisfaction. Twice that happened and twice I became angry but followed the orders he gave me. After 5 days my house sparkled and to be honest I was worn out but oh so very happy that Sir was pleased . That whole knew feeling I hadn’t felt before that I had actually pleased someone other than myself away from work. It felt wonderful.

Through all the cleaning and hard work Sir also had me work on me , I was to be up at 6 each morning including the weekends which I normally sleep in until ten.

I wasn’t happy doing so but I did it anyway and over those 7 days it changed me not just my home but me. You see he had me care for me something I didn’t do at home oh at work I looked good at home I was slob a pig unkempt as much as my home had been.

Now rising at six I was made to shower fully clean myself from head to toe. Even scrubbing my nipples cunt and ass. Then I had to do my hair and actually dress and use make up. I have to dress in stockings , 4”heels short skirts no panties no bra  sheer blouses . I thought it a ridiculous thing to clean house in but as time went on it made me feel sexy again something I hadn’t felt deep down in a long time . Taking out the garbage became an adventure for me for I knew I was being watched and when I dropped a bag and had to bend over from the waist knowing my ass was showing and seen by at least one maybe two people a tingle raced through my cunt and I actually became wet. When I bend I must bend from the waist raising my skirt so ass shows. Well cleaning I was bent over many times feeling the cool breeze on my ass and cunt it was to say the least stimulating to me.

I however am not allowed to touch myself or have sex in any manner until permission is granted and that I must earn from Sir. It has kept me on edge something I am sure he knows already. I want to clean his home now,lmao, me the pig wanting to clean who would have ever thought. But I do I want him to see my ass and cunt on display for his pleasure. I want to feel him press against me and take me and to hear those words “well done cunt”  . I have since sent off the pics of not just my home but myself as well. Clothed as he asked ,cleaned as he demanded both I and my home need to be. I hope he is happy and pleased I want to call him and cum for him right over the phone , I want to be his “cunt” and have him proud of me. He was right I am his and he knew it from the beginning.

Thank you Sir

cunt.