I am seeking interesting, like minded people. People who have views, opinions on issues of the day and life in general both in and outside of kink.*
I'm not really available to those in Los Angeles. While it is not impossible, my preference (and hopefully yours) is Calgary or Toronto.
*note - I am truly seeking like minded people. I am not available for play or to be collared. And so, I've leave my profile here, like a dangling modifier.
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.” ? Eleanor Roosevelt
Rope: $2.50, duct tape: $1.15, vodka:$22.95, condoms: $4.50, look on the cashiers face when you go to pay: priceless...
Words to live by: Life is short -- buy the shoes.
And G-d promised that men good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.
Then He made the earth round and laughed and laughed and laughed...
Each relationship nurtures a strength of weakness within you. -- Mike Murdock
Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert the integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.
Who is this clip for? Tom Hiddleston fans, D/s fans or just anyone who can't decide if this is creepy or alluring.
Words: I will be the first man to kiss you. To bed you. Whether you come willingly or not, you will be mine, and mine alone. Do you understand?
Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last
Friends are like underpants ... Some crawl up your butt... Some snap under pressure... Some don't have the strength to hold you up... Some get a little twisted... Some support you... Some are your favorite....Some are cheap and just get bent out of shape...and some actually DO cover your butt when you need them to. ~unknown
Funny, elegant and flexible women on their knees - what could be better?
"Little Swans" - funny parody by Takane Dance World target="_blank">
I used to be Snow White but I drifted - Mae West
I recently had an outreach from a Dom who asked me if I knew what I was seeking. This made me pause and wonder if I had been clear in my profile. In the event that I have not...
First (but not firstly), I am looking for people who might never be a potential match for me as well as those who might. My interest is in interesting people who wish to discuss issues of the day that might be kinky or not.
I look for that here because there is more chance that I will have a common ground with other kinksters - not because I only want to be "in the lifestyle" every moment of the day. I am who I am and my (yours too hopefully) life is one to be proud of and not dance around when I give my views.
The site is called CollarMe, so when I am seeking, I am looking at a partner who will over time take the step to offer me a collar. I intend for that to be done after considerable time getting to know one another and enjoying each others company. Most importantly, being PolyFi, this comes after all parties are in agreement. This includes our partners and spouses if any.
Currently, I am under consideration by a vanilla poly partner. More than anything in the world this amuses me (most of us online are looking for something a little more out there, aren't we?). I won't miss the kink, I have my husband/Dom for that (another reversal, eh?). But if he were not all the other humanistic traits I look for, I would miss that.
There's more of course. There is more to all of us, but I prefer to use the journal on CM to share my thoughts and humour. Today's post is about clarity - let's look for anothe day's post about making you smile.
I was behind a rather large woman at the checkout. She had on a pair of jeans that said, 'Guess.' I said, "I don't know........maybe 350 pounds."
*curtseys* fade to black
Because my friends say the funniest things... My wife says to me the other night
"How come we don't make love like they do in the movies?”
So I bent her over the table, slapped her on each ass cheek a dozen times, grabbed her by the hair and yanked her neck back so she’d be forced to watch me jackhammer her from behind, then flipped her over and came on her face....
Turns out we don't watch the same movies.
Thank goodness for the internet. Relationship advice stolen from the page of a very wise friend:
HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN: Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.
HOW TO TREAT A MAN: Show up naked. Bring hot dogs & beer. Don't block the TV
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
"Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love." ~ Woody Allen
Words from another profile that I wanted to share:
"It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts,fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked."
Have to admit, I found this over at , but it made me smile. I love a good mystery, Vanilla or not.
For the engineers among us who understand that the obvious is not always the solution, and that the facts, no matter how implausible, are still the facts...
A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: "This is the second time I have written you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I kind of sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night. But the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds: 'What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?'"
The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well-educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start.
The engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, the man got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.
Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: he jotted down all sorts of data, time of day, type of gas used, time to drive back and forth, etc.
In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to find the flavor and get checked out.
Now the question for the engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. Once time--not the vanilla ice cream--became the problem the engineer quickly came up with the answer: vapor lock. It was happening every night, but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapor lock to dissipate.
In the midst of my break today I came across a topic that asked the question: Is sexting a version of polyamory?
Now aside from the obvious point that sexting does not mean you are contacting multiple people and that it is completely possible to sext with one person, I don't believe it is a form Poly.
In my mind, it is a form of communication not a form of relationship. If you opt to text me, isn't that the same as making a phone call or dropping me an email? If you chose to sext me, then aren't we just engaging in a dirty, naughty, and scintillating version of the same?
The post goes on to talk about Andrew Weiner (doesn't everything?). I'm not sure I would include his sexting under the heading of Poly either. At no time has there been an open and honest dialogue (that we know of) between he and his wife. "Hey sweetie, I know we just got married and you're 3 months pregnant, but I'm going to bring a few people into our cellphone and twitters lives without you knowing and one of them will be under age. You're good with the deception, right? I thought so *kiss*"
smile
"The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him." - Helen Rowland
Can you imagine? What a waste! Some one should teach them to embrace who you are.
Every now and then I miss a kink reference slid into a perfectly vanilla script. Today I was told about this one:
... that line between Uhura and Kirk in the latest Star Trek - where she says "I thought you were just an ignorant hick who likes to have sex with farm animals", and Kirk replies "Well, not just farm animals"
How very odd, in a period of 45 minutes I've had 4 Dommes looking at my profile, 1 of which has been clicking repeatedly.
I'm not sure what the nature of intent is, but it strikes me as somewhat counter productive on their part, don't you think?
Ya just gotta love LA
Who knew parking tickets could be so sexy?
Two Los Angeles parking-enforcement officers have been placed on administrative leave for allegedly acting in porn flicks.
The videos were posted on an adult subscription Web site.
In one shot, an actress approaches a traffic officer, jumps into his arms before he spanks and fondles her.
In another scene, a second officer is spanked by an actress, who then gets into a city car to perform lewd acts.
I debated about posting this man's point of view, but relented thinking it was just too good not to share with a smile.
.. A GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN > Between 18 and 22, > a woman is like Africa > , half > discovered, half > wild, fertile and naturally > beautiful! > > Between 23 and 30, > a woman is like Europe , > well > developed and open > to trade, especially for someone with > cash. > > Between 31 and 35, > a woman is like Spain > , very hot, > relaxed and > convinced of her own beauty. > > Between 36 and 40, > a woman is like > Greece > , gently aging but a warm and desirable > place to visit. > > Between 41 and 50, > a woman is like Great > Britain > , with > a glorious and all conquering > past...After 50..a little like Palmdale or Lancaster or Corona..either too hot..too cold..or a little on the scarey side~!
Recently, in another forum, there was a tread with many musings about why do men think (fill in the blank with your wonderment). One participant replied with this video:
Submission without domination is when you keep doing what he wants even after he keeps insisting he doesn't want it. Domination without submission is when he keeps telling you to do something and you keep telling him to fuck off. ~ Linda (not that I have any idea who Linda is)
"I like other people's fear. Does that make me a sadist?" "No. That makes you a dentist. The two are easily confused." - Unknown
Sometimes it is harder to deprive oneself of a pain than of a pleasure
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald
Sunday sermon....'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'
Carol of the belts, a new holiday classic that only we can truly appreciate ... so wrong
I was standing in the aisle at the grocery store today wondering why would I want a battery operated whirring toothbrush... then I realised, what woman wouldn't?!
Thanks, Mom. I owe ya!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, ! that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM." When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
(actually, she used to wish twins on me)
What's with bi-sexuals? Do they flip a coin in the morning?
Heads - i get some tail today Tails - i get som head today
--Glen Foster "That Canadian Guy"
During the holidays our attentions get pulled by the 4 F's - friends, family, foods and festivities (Fetishes happen to be year round joy).
Food is today's topic: Emeril Lagasse or Mario Batali?
Discuss.
More news that we should have seen coming (no pun intended):
Sex offender treatment supervisor charged with indecent exposure
The well-known perv (e.g., named his favorite yacht Tits), Prince Jefri Bolkiah of Brunei (the Sultan's bro'), is so rich that his sexual proclivities never reach courtrooms, but . . that was before he stiffed his own lawyer. The lawyer wants Jefri's four life-sized, personally commissioned statues on his New York estate to be considered as part of his wealth available to pay the lawyer's bill. The statues are of Jefri, his main squeeze, and the two of them having sex. New York Post
still funny....
Morty visits Dr. Saul, the veterinarian, and says, "My dog has a problem."
Dr. Saul says, "So, tell me about the dog and the problem."
"It's a Jewish dog. His name is Irving and he can talk," says Morty.
"He can talk?" the doubting doctor asks.
"Watch this!" Morty points to the dog and commands: "Irving, Fetch!"
Irving, the dog, begins to walk toward the door, then turns around and says, "So why are you talking to me like that? You always order me around like I'm nothing. And you only call me when you want something. And then you make me sleep on the floor, with my arthritis. You give me this fahkahkta food with all the salt and fat, and you tell me it's a special diet. It tastes like dreck! YOU should eat it yourself! And do you ever take me for a decent walk? NO, it's out of the house, a short pish, and right back home. Maybe if I could stretch out a little, the sciatica wouldn't kill me so much! I should roll over and play dead for real for all you care!"
Dr. Saul is amazed, "This is remarkable! So, what's the problem?"
Morty says, "He has a hearing problem! I said 'Fetch,' not 'Kvetch."
Let's face it...
after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W-T-F
Most Clever/Pervy Costume of 2009 [5 Pics]. We know--another Halloween costume from last year, but it`s clever enough to get a second look.
I think this was created by Audi to highlight their car drivers vs the more messed up other luxery car owns, but it is a hysterical set of episodes with a cast of characters not to be believed. A few small kink refs too
About a year ago, I read an article written by a woman who was out for an evening with her gal pals. They were each talking about how the other was too picky and laughed about things one of them could not find acceptable in a man.
The one thing they did agree on was how the internet has made it more difficult to maintain respect for your date. How each email, text, or chat that had poor grammar, misspelling and leet speak caused the IQ points to visibly drop off their mental image of the guy, even before actually going out with him! I of course, assumed myself to be above this snooty trio in the article. After all, I've been around the net since BBS days (no one do the math please, thank you), and as a veteren of the web, I should be a tad more giving.
That said, I found myself in their shoes. Typos in a chat are forgivable, even expected. There is a rush to getting your words out and engaging in a dialogue at a decent pace. I find myself shaking my head at emails that are written to show how educated one is but arrive with words underlined in red - the digital medias form of spinach between your teeth. Profiles that talk about what is acceptable, desired, demanded and have the eloquence of Robin Williams "I am job" in Mrs Doubtfire.
It makes me wonder (apparently I have a lot of time on my hands) if a profile is suppose to tell us about the writer, then what are they trying to say. If that is the final version, what can we expect on days when they are not trying to put their best foot forward. And better yet (yes I know, I started a sentence with and),what if they aren't trying to put a good impression up front, then what are they hoping to attract?
Through all this, I keep coming back to those women, laughing at men they couldn't have a second date with because of messages like "U r g8" or some other abbreviation. Are their levels of expectation or have we lowered the standards in our communications, making it OK to leave alphabet soup jumbled on our pages making us look like we stopped at 5th grade?
Is Poly more prevalient in the BDSM community or are we just more open about it? Open in the respect of discussing it.
Ready for the most controversial question of the day?
UCLA or USC?
A hot dog and hamburger are walking down the street looking for a
place to get a beer. They see a sign above a bar that says,
'Welcome. We only serve alcohol'. The hot dog and hamburger are not
hungry so they walk in and order a beer. The bartender says, 'Can't
you read? We don't serve food in here!"
Which celebrity would you like to be for a day??
Cartoon History Trivia of the day:
The character of Tex Avery's Red Hot Riding Hood closely resembled one of the top pin-up girls at the time, Betty Grable.
She is considered an amalgamation of the then popular Hollywood stars.
Her singing voice in this particular short was reminiscent of Lena Horne's, while her speaking voice emulated that of Katharine Hepburn.
The song Red Hot sings in the club is "Daddy," written in 1941 and performed by Ginny Maxey and the Bobby Troup Trio. Troup's wife, the famed Julie London, later sang a sultry version of the song reminiscent of Red Hot's version but at a slower tempo.
I saw this on another sub's profile and thought it was a perfect point to make. Using his words:
"And, on a side note, I might be a submissive, but that does not mean
that I am YOUR submissive. If you're a dom and you contact me,
especially without talking to my trainer or Master first, why don't you
have some respect? Because treating me like your bitch is just going to
make me lose all respect for you. Thanks."
German party mistakenly hands out porn pens to kids
"The party has offered to exchange the pens for something more suitable for children." Like what? Inflatables?
Well, we missed National S'mores Day (imagine all we could do) but there's still time to read how Jennifer quit her job and let the entire office know it via email. That gal has spunk!
Gentlemen, while we submissives very much enjoy exchanging information with you, "You got all your teeth?" might not be the best opening line ;)?
"You should always ask yourself what would happen if everyone did
what you are doing" Jean-Paul Sartre
IMHO, we'd be a lot happier!
Thinking of a new profile pic? I did a little google search (remember when we just called them web search?) and found a blog post on taking better photos of yourself for social networking sites - I thought "hey, this place is pretty social".
?I can stand brute force, but
brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its
use. It is hitting below the intellect.? -- Oscar Wilde
I believe we may have been out kinked...
For the equivalent of "up to $1,000" (reports Reuters), Japanese
Michael-Jackson-obsessives who win a lottery can spend the night (10
hours) on the floor of the Neverland Collection at the Tokyo Tower on
June 25th (the anniversary of his death), surrounded by loads of MJ
memorabilia. Reuters
Quote of the Day from the LOST series finale: "I don't believe in a lot
of things, but I do believe in duct tape." - Miles
When we were in school, we used to entertain ourselves with the ongoing discussion of "If you were cast adrift on a desert island, what 3 things would you take with you?".? Today, I realized that the answers that come first and foremost to mind involve an internet connection, cell tower or electricity for our various chargers! What 3 items would you consider essential??
Want to really make him/her feel special? Send them this:
"Nothing Steve Jobs creates could ever fully replace you in my life. "
The breast poll has sparked some good exchanges and information.
?????? Please to enjoy the attached clip, from Mr Rodney Carrington.
? Special thanks to the Dom who gave me permission to spread it around. Enjoy!
tatas, mau-maus, cupcakes or ear muffs... what's your favorite name for breasts??
I am continually struck by the initial email outreach that promises to take me to new heights and test my limits in ways they never have before.
This seems unrealistic to me at an introductory level. The sender has no concept of who each of us are when together. Is there a harmony or a discord? Are we at similar interest or even experience levels?
While I am sure all of this will unfold in a very short amount of time, the promise of grandeur prior to even exchanging names seems as likely as finding out what makes you tick by winning the lottery.
Hey, let's make all our kinkyness and love of things like sniffing bicycle seats pay off.
in viewing today's news photos: A lone jogger in shorts heads across the Brooklyn Bridge towards Manhattan as a blizzard continue to blanket the New York area with snow... what? he's jogging.. in the snow... in a blizzard... in shorts! Not even at the risk of corner time.?
Here, through the magic of YouTube, is thoughtful New Hampshire state
Rep. Nancy Elliott, working through a problem right there at a hearing
on the repeal of the state's new same-sex marriage law: "I started
thinking, and we're talking about taking the penis of one man and
putting it in the rectum of another man, and wiggling it around in
excrement, and you have to think . . . hmmmm, not sure, would I allow
that to happen to me?" " target="_blank">
Sorry Nancy, I'm afraid we now have a TMI on your private life!
On Family Guy:
"We're playing house" "But that boy is all tied up!" "Roman Polanski's house."
Oh ho! Seems our California Cows are enjoying a bit of good natured role reversal, showing the bulls who has the power on football weekend: target="_blank">
seriously, why use the hotel service? This seems like a natural for any proper sub. Of course, this would assume we all have the same definition of what makes a proper sub.... and we don't.
For anyone who has not laughed today:
Top Ten Things You Will Never Hear A Sub Say To Their Master/Mistress
Author: Aleister Blacke ? (of course I have no idea who that is, but thought they deserved credit)
10: How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put your leather pants in the washer?
09: Yeah, right... SPANK THIS!
08: Tomorrow night, I get to tie you up, right?
07: God, you Dom's think the world should bow before you!
06: And just what do you think you are going to do with that paddle?
05: Sorry, I got a date tomorrow night. Some other time, perhaps?
04: Spanking? I-THINK-NOT!
03: Who died and left you in charge?
02: Do your own damn laundry!
and the #1 thing you will never hear a sub say to their Master...
01: What do I look like, your maid?
I will seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.
I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu
Now get your mind out of the kink and go get your flu shot!
"Polyamory is defined by informed consent of all the participants.
Without it, it ain't poly. If you can't invite your lover over to
Thanksgiving dinner with the rest of your family because you don't want
anyone to know what you're doing, it probably ain't poly."
riddle me this... why is it the same men who have a list of the type of person they are looking for and what their personal needs are, send you a picture of their cock before saying hello??
Shared by a friend of mine:
A bear, a
lion and a pig meet. Bear says: "if I roar in the forest, the whole
forest is shivering with fear." Lion says: "if I roar in the jungle,
the whole jungle is afraid of me. Pig says: "big deal.... I only have
to cough, and the entire planet shits itself." ;)
Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.
--
David Letterman
Surprisingly, the results on Julie Newmar vs Eartha Kitt came in an exact 50/50 split!
Question of the day is: When Ginger kissed Gilligan with the poison lipstick, why didn't he die??
Julie Newmar or Eartha Kitt??
Success
is the prize for those who stand true to their ideas!
Success
is the prize for those who stand true to their ideas!
1 : the quality of being discreet : circumspection; especially : cautious reserve in speech 2 : ability to make responsible decisions 3 a : individual choice or judgment b : power of free decision or latitude of choice within certain legal bounds 4 : the result of separating or distinguishing
Where is 5 : Dishonesty ?
The Millionaire Matchmaker had this to say about women: They think a guy will always like them if he just gets to know them. "A
guy knows right away if he's attracted to you or not. There's no
warming up. Men are microwaves, women are Crockpots. Women heat up very
slowly. They take in information; they decipher it and download it onto
their computer. Men know in one second, yes or no."
Now I know she is on TV so it must be true, so Doms you might be interested in hearing this. (gawd, I hope they all just smiled)
Many of you are upset that the women here don't jump on your messages or offer up their servitude.
Please take a moment to consider that not only are we different (says the MM above) but we are taught from a very young age not to open doors for strangers, don't talk to strangers, don't take candy from a stranger, etc.
A good Dom is an insightful one. Thus ends today's PA.
A kind word to our 20-something Doms...
While I appreciate your approach, it is highly unlikely that .... well... need I truly say it??
