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Female Submissive, 31, Branford, Connecticut
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About Mel12261981
Well. Here I am.. I don't know what happened to my profile, but it poofed into the wicked winding web. Such is life. It's just as well because I really hadn't updated it in a very long time. I really don't have much to say.. I will write more at some point in time, just understand, I am not NOT NOT looking for 'the one' more the way right now. I am here for socialization, community and to learn.
Life is nothing if not a lesson learned. |
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Updated my pics a little. The frosting face is the most recent and pumpkin guts is the second most recent.. Enjoy. Blaah. |
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For the most part, still sain, totally sober, that makes 3 years and 5 months out of rehab today without a drop to those pesky doubters; I know who you are... :) We are still all truggin along, making it with a smile. Hope you are all well, again, appoligies for my lack of online time. |
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..Still here. Still sober. Still strange. Not much eles to say one anything.. |
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To EVERYONE!? I'm not dead yet!
Okay, so we've moved, I'm mooching a signal to get online when and where I can, so I'm sorry I'm not around.
Here's the general, need to know, info:? I'm alive, the kids are alive, we've moved; yep we have a house now!? Went through some stuff a while back, looks like it's going to be one of those things we can't just tuck away in the 'missing moments' section of my memory bank :(.? But we are all alive and well, I'm still sober and somewhat sain.? Hope all of you are doing well!? ~*~Hugs to you all~*~
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Truly the only tribute you will ever deserve.
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I helped you grow while flowering at your side,
You watered me and tended to my petals with pride,
I adored your touch; your eyes were my sunlight,
Reaching with each other every day to a new height.
Then you started leaving me alone in the shade,
Only now and then, still when it's dark I am afraid.
Time rolled on, soon your touch; no where to be found.
Shivering and broken with my heart still tightly bound.
Finally enough was enough, I couldn't suffer anymore.
Your addictions are part of you stuck to your core.
My dedication and obedience were to good for you.
The trails of misery that follow you are far overdue.
Now fill my place with any whore who will kneel to you,
You'll lust them briefly then you'll be through.
Onto the next one, leaving them in spirals of pain.
The way you're self destructing, are you still sane?
Spiraling into a sea of endless tears you created,
Discovering why the pain you delivered needed sedated.
The need to numb all the love you took away.
It replaced that beautiful pain that made me stay.
I waited for you like Mary at the base of the cross.
No matter how I try I can't seem to morn your loss.
Everything about you have become shallow and fake.
The agony you gave, another memory in your wake.
I'm no colder then I was before you found me locked up inside,
No more alone then when you pretended to my guide,
More or less we're just as confined to ourselves as ever.
How easy the ties that bind us could tear then sever.
Maybe I was the only one who was ever really bound.
Voices yelling warnings and I refused to hear a sound.
Benefit of the doubt?? You've worn away that trail.
Such a pathetic soldier, husband, father and male.
Not a Man, not a Dom or top, no one's Master,
Watching you set up for your next beautiful disaster.
One foot in just to test the temperature of the pool.
Then in you go head first like a poorly trained fool.
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Sweets to the sweetest.
Love for the beloved.
Death to the undead.
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I'm divorced, now we get to fight over money here in Ohio!? Yay, done with Alaska.?
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First divorce hearing today... I'm nervous.? Wish me luck, everyone who believes in God or Goddess or Buddha, or well, anyone, pray for me please??
Htaed llit
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It's been a while, huh?
?*-*Yes Steven, you inspired the update*-* Well, I'm still in Ohio, working on that divorce, my ex is in Alaska, so it is a bit tedious dealing with the time delays and mailing papers.
Still sober, since October 2008, and counting.? My health has improved so much.?
Thank you to all my friends that have helped me with a kind word to read over when there isn't much light shining through the tunnels end.?? I've had so much support from so many of you.? I can't thank you all enough.?? I'm not sure what there is left to say.? I'm meeting people, very slowly, in the local area, planning for another move into a little more populated area, save on gas money and what not.? Nothing is perfect, but everything is better.? Have a lovely day!
~*~
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I would like to appoligize, sincerly. I have not been a very good friend as of late. I have been very preoccupied with this up comming move and working on my son with his grades in school (but it's paying off!). I do deeply regret having not gotten to know some of you better before things started going hectic, and neglecting the friendships I had before things got so crazy. I am not ready to focus on other people as of right now, I have to proioritize my children then myself (for my maintained sobritiy) and can not put enough energy to a person to fairly cultivate a good friendship. I am still talking with everyone willing to put up with my time constrants during this trying time, and I apprishiate your pacients. I am doing all right. We are all alive and kicking. Things could be better but they could be worse. Thank you all for the support you have given me, you will never know how sometimes just some of the kind words you've shared with me have gone to get me through the day. Thank you all again, and I am sorry. |
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***HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIDDY!!!*** |
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I like that firm, smooth style you've got about you.
You've figured it out and you're good at what you do. |
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Well, my daddy died, not like my daddy dom, but my father daddy, all of ten min's ago, so if I am not around for a while.. Well.. Deal with it sorry. |
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Life never seems to fail to throw you a curve when you're not ready to take a hit does it?
Just another random memo. Don't try. |
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Right under your nose.. ?cinori si t'nsI |
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I'm fine, just fine.. Acroniminacally speaking. |
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