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About mefirst
I am a 40 year old sort of switch. Mostly Dominant but on the odd occaision I do enjoy a little change.
I am not looking for a hard core BDSM relationship, no roleplaying (well, not much anyway). I don't have a dungeon or a closet full of toys to whip another whip.
That is what I am not seeking.
This is what I am seeking.
I am a woman who likes control, I like submissive, obedient, needy, men. I seek a man who enjoys catering to and pampering the woman he is with. Men who are strong to the rest of the world but are eager pleasers with the woman they are with is acceptable. If you are shy around women, wimpy, even doormat-like, contact me.
Now, as for me. I am bossy, yet loving, gentle, but demanding, I have a fiery temper, but I get over things quickly. I have a long memory and yes, I do punish those who deserve it. I am a smoker. Yes, a smoker. Deal with it. I verbally, mentally and physically abuse when I am ticked off. That also is something that must be accepted.
Now, if you live in the Montreal area, and you are looking for a "real" relationship, not just kinks, ie: dating (or is that a bad word here), then contact me. This will not be a quickie, gents, I am looking for a potential life partner. |
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Ok then. Another day of interesting emails, sadly, the only one that showed hope ended up believing all women were evil and out to destroy him. Such is life, I guess. No easy journey is a journey worth taking. A lot of young subbie boys who want me to "teach them the ropes". I do so wish they would not all use the same opening line. Show a little originality. lol. Another day of doing my own laundry, shopping and errands. I am even driving myself around....Ok, that would not definately change. I like being the one behind the wheel when I have things on my mind. Bad time to talk to me. I am thinking. Is there really a better place to work things out? Even with the price of gas going up and down like a yoyo I still like to feel the wind in my hair, listen to the music blaring and by the time I get back home I know I am calmer and have at least a few things organized. Still a tweener. Still taking care of an elderly relative and taking care of kids. Funny, as I was growing up I don't remember anyone telling me that I was one day going to be responsible for everyone in my life. Yes, I am a control freak. Everything must be done my way. But dammit, once in a while a day off would be nice.
I am meeting someone for coffee tomorrow. Doubt it will go far, he lives in Ottawa, but damn he shows so much potential. Why are all those I really click with far away? Story of my life. My ex ended up back in Australia. Can't serve me when he's on the other side of the world. And neither can others serve me or join me on this journey if they live far away.
One day, one day I will find that male who serves me well.
One last thing. I keep getting asked the same question. So I am going to answer it here.
Do I feel women are superior to men?
In general, yes. Women are stronger, smarter and faster than men. We are the one's intrusted to continue the species. Men, who have decided for so long that they are the dominant ones have actually done nothing more than make themselves obsolete. Everything a man has can be bought in a store (and dildos do not have expectations). We no longer need men to populate the world. Now don't get me wrong. I adore men. I like all kinds of men. Preferably those who understand this, but men in general are ok, can be fun, intelligent, likable. Just like most dogs. :)
The one thing I do believe that, in my life, if a man wants to be in my life, he must accept that men are obsolete. That is why men are here to cater to the women because if they don't, they are replacable.
That's it for tonight. Wicked dreams A/all.
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Ok, I have decided to start a journal. Probably more to speak to myself than to speak to others. I wonder if anyone ever really reads them. Either way, it's a nice touch.
Ok, I am 40 years old, single mom of teenagers, taking care of an elderly family menber who has been rather sick the last year and a half, not that his health was much better before that. It's very difficult being the one in the middle who has to always be the caretaker. I guess it helps that I am obsessively controlling. My way or the highway. That's how I am. I haven't always been this way. In fact, I used to be a submissive. I was raised in a violent house and saw two types of people. The beaters and the beaten. For a long time I thought it was the place of the woman to take the beating and deep down I believe my submission was a subconscious effort to relive childhood abuse. But, like all people, (hopefully) I eventually took control of my own needs. It was an internal battle for the longest time, coming to terms with the fact that women could be strong and it was accepted...not only accepted but some men want it, need it crave it. I delve right in, in fact, one might say I went overboard. I Pro-Dommed for a while and was a rather nasty Domme. I wanted to hurt men. Never did any damage, that's not my style, but in general I was punishing any male I got my hands on. Most of them came back often. I ended up meeting the sweetest of slaves. He was not able to take too much pain, he would turn beat red if I humiliated him in the slightest, and he taught me something about me. I could be a Domme without having to whip the crap out of someone. He was a good man, held me when I was bruised from getting worked over, cuckolded to those I was serving every once in a while, and took everything I had to give. If I was pissed off, he suffered. If I had a bad day, he suffered. If someone hurt me, he suffered. And then he would pamper me, massage me, bathe me, hold me, and, in fact, be my rock. He became my Knight even if he was my doormat. I walked all over that boy, put him thru many things he wished I didn't, but he needed to take it because it pleased me. This relationship was many many years ago, back when I was a confused younger person. Now I am a confused older person. I am looking for a submissive man to have a relationship with, the whole enchalada, and maybe, (here's to hoping) find the one I might spend the rest of my life with. But the guys I am talking to don't get that. They keep telling me things like "we need to scene so i'll know if i can trust you". What the hell is that crap? Since when does a Domme serve a sub to gain trust. And since when is something required from a woman to start a relationship. That's the thing. I want the relationship. I might be a Dominant woman but that doesn't mean I don't want to be romanced. I still want a man to date me, wine and dine me, so to speak. Why is it expected I should loose out on that because he may or may not one day, if the stars align right, be the sub who will surrender to me. And what the hell is with expectations that I will do all the work to earn his trust and all he's gotta do it enjoy a kinky BDSM scene and fulfill his fantasies?
They are offering me the world too. One guy has offered to pay my rent every month if I agree to see him once a week. With all the Pro's in this city, why is he wasting my time? Yes, I will expect to be pampered and spoiled, but not paid. The only time I was ever really spoiled and pampered in my entire life (not counting my kids who are wonderful) was when I was 17-18 and an older man was doing everything to get into my pants, manipulating me into believing he loved me, and giving me what he knew I had never happened. Oh, and in case anyone is reading this and if anyone cares, he did get into my pants, I married him, had children with him and he was the worst mistake of my life. Divorced him in 99. Wanted away from him so bad I married an idiot in 2000 just to get out from under number 1...lol.. and number 2 only lasted a year. Ok, enough for now. Bye A/all |
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