MBrooke13

In idle moments my mind plays tiny scenes for me. Glimpses of what I am searching for. The snap of my fingers, a gesture, the sureity of obedience, of servitude. Rewarded with a smile, with a pat. My creature, curled at my feet, contented, secure. Nights out, small things telling the truth of our story. Quiet commands, subtle tasks. Long nights at home spent in surrender and tears, pain and love. Expressions unique to us, finding the right way to serve each other's needs.

I think my profile and prior entries make it clear that my approach to this lifestyle is to see a submissive as a partner. I would rather live in a functional partnership than a dictatorship. At first that very belief made me question myself. Was I Dominant enough? What if I never owned someone completely, humiliated and tortured them, beat them and degraded them? What if I treated them considerately? What if I gave their voice importance, what if I valued them as an independent person? Would I simply be playing at this role? A closet sub, waiting for the one who was aggressive enough to own me while exercising my own tenuous control as a cover up? No. Regardless of how the dynamic plays out, being the Dominant party in a relationship does not necessitate heavy-handed methods or an over-bearing use of control. I am not interested in sharing myself with someone who has nothing to say, who submits without comment or question, who offers nothing unless it is blind subservience. I want dialogue, I want openness and a sense of connection as human beings, not simply as aspects of an idealized lifestyle. I accept that submitting your will to anyone else is hard. It is work. It is a constant test of self-discipline, and while I can guide, direct, prompt and hold you accountable, I cannot force or coerce the desire to submit. I am more interested in nurturing that desire than in making great demands on it. I know that some people have taken me for easy-going, or even an easy mark, but where the desire is present all else is negotiable and anything is possible. Eventually my submissive will absolutely find themselves serving me in the exact manner of my choosing in the precise way it pleases me for them to do so. But I will build that routine, that security, from a basis of common interest, not only as a self-serving desire to be obeyed. At the end of the day, my submissive will kneel at my feet and gaze into my eyes, knowing that simply being stroked by my hand is a fulfillment of their purpose and place.

I have only been on Collarme a few days now but I have already noticed a curious trend among the submissives who have contacted me. Instead of, "Hi, I'd like to get to know you," or, "You're profile is interesting, would you consider chatting sometime," it's more, "I will worship at your feet and serve you with my whole soul," or "Take this little bitch boy and make him cry while you humiliate him." Hmmm. I might be unique in this, but in my position I don't particularly value assertiveness while being approached by a sub and that includes assertively throwing yourself at my feet. I will get to know you if I choose to and there is no need to list the ways in which you will serve me, I know how you will serve. Exactly as I instruct you to. I understand that it's easy online to assume familiarity but it's distasteful to be contacted by someone who is in essence projecting the kind of Mistress I would be by laying out exactly the kind of submissive actions they would be engaging in. Before I even want to consider the "kind" of submissive you are I want to know the kind of person you are. The last thing I will adress is that my profile clearly states I am seeking friendships. I understand that even with that taken into account it's easy to look at people as "potentials" in a power exchange, but at the core, friendship is where I am starting and I don't believe those usually begin with, "I want to be your foot-stool and lick your toes."

This is something I worked on for a little while today. I wanted to get thoughts from more experienced Dominants and also submissives. I'd like input on whether this is reasonable, clear and a good foot to start out on.

I expect:

To be spoken to respectfully and sincerely.  

To be obeyed.

(in a relationship)To make final decisions in our life while taking into account my submissive’s needs, desires and best interests.

My submissive to be receptive to whatever training I desire them to undergo.

My submissive to communicate clearly and maintain an attitude of transparency and honesty.

My goals are:

To provide my submissive with a place of safety and security where their needs would be met and their concerns would be heard.

To teach my submissive how best to meet my needs, serve me competently and be pleasing in their behavior at all times.

To organize my time and my submissive’s time to be spent responsibly in pursuit of our

individual and mutual goals.

To model the behavior I expect from my submissive in self-control, discipline and patience.

To listen to my submissive and refrain from reacting in anger or pain to my submissive’s words or actions.

To help my submissive grow as a person in ways that fulfill them individually and in ways that fulfill me as a Dominant.

I will achieve these things by:

Maintaining an open mind and constantly learning more about myself and my submissive.

Seeking mentorship, knowledge, and support from more experienced Dominants.

Remaining humble, accepting that I will make mistakes and taking responsibility for them.

Never losing confidence in my own control. Providing my submissive with the security that even in moments when I am struggling I have their best interests at heart and I will handle them with authority and affection.

Holding myself in deed and word to the standards I set for my own satisfaction and also to the standards my submissive needs and deserves to have a true, deep respect for me.