Matt33

Mixing vanilla with Bd is the eternal problem. Sometimes the total absorbtion by a mistress means vanilla life has gone or is totally subservient to the BD side. Then its just a matter of fitting in the vanilla work alongside the main life.

However its not possible if the vanilla includes relationships. Then you find frustrated dommes looking for single subjects without family or ties.  Or decide to put up with less than total control.

Or you see references to heavy control or blackmail where the survival of vanilla is dependent on the whim of the domme. Then there is always an end game. The stakes rise, the demands rise until the domme is bored by failure of the sub and walks away. Or goes after carrying out the threat and a final adrenalin rush. 

Hence the rise of the P domme for some. Needs met on both sides. But the compensation for the lack of total domination is a lifesyle funded by the subs. The P domme can of course have a real sub to go alongside. Then have the best of both worlds if she wishes.

However that may not be the best of all worlds. The Domme may never wish to share whether in professional or non professional life.

But whatever the view of both parties it is the domme who makes the decision. If the sub makes the decision he is not with a domme and he is fooling himself.