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martyrized

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martyrized - photo 2
martyrized - photo 3

Friends:
VampchyldejjiimmBrokenSeekerNietzschifallensoul
KurobaraCingularity
Please be sure to read the entire profile before contact. This includes my checklist on the left of this description, dearies. :)

... and now you feel the pain is real
you have no one else to blame
don't let your rain fall down on me
wish i was there to prove you wrong...

The intro:
I don't like people. I am disobedient, arrogant, irreverent and uncontrollable. I challenge every order, and spit in the face of practically every Dom who has ever tried to get me to submit. I don't fear the paddle, or he who weilds it to convince me to be obedient. I'm fascinated by eloquence, and annoyed by inconsistency. I love to push buttons, and I guarantee you won't like me.

As an artistic individual, I need passionate individuals to inspire me. I've a fairly open mind, and am willing to at the very least listen, if not offer to participate. I am also fairly territorial, and if I find myself involved with someone, I expect some respect to that.

Have love, will travel. I am a Geek, capital G. You have been warned.

The Stats:
Age: 26
Seeking: ...
Bust: 38DD
Waist: 34 (and shrinking *flex*)
Hips: 40
Natural Haircolor: Red
Eyes: Green/Teal (I've been told they change hue.)
Skin: Porcelain, some scars, occasional eczema (allergy-and-stress related)
Piercings: Ears only, 12ga
Tattoos: None yet, designing my own.

I appreciate mental stimulation. Speak in complete sentences, using more than one word, and I'll be happy to talk. Effort equals interest, dears.
12/10/2009 5:59:53 AM
Bit of advice: If I only speak to you once or twice, chances are that I won't have you on a contact list of mine. Nor will I remember you if there's more than two months of non-contact. Unless you're something remarkable... y'know... if you really make an impression... expect me to be very short with you when contact is remade. Because, really, who in their right mind assumes that someone will wait with bated breath for the next contact from someone without a real connection? I certainly don't. So to call me uptight for being, well, honest when I decline interest in speaking to you again... well that's just silly. I've used too many interjections.
4/3/2009 12:51:40 PM
I had a really spooky nightmare the other night. I almost broke the boyfriend's hand following that. Woops.
3/5/2009 8:59:55 AM
Oh My Gods, you guys. I have recently discovered that my entire adult life has been a delusion! I'm not 5'3", as originally perceived. I am, in fact, just three inches shy of being able to register for a disabled tag on whatever vehicle I drive, as I am nearly too short to see over the dash. I'm a whopping 5'1". Put that in your pipe and smoke it. -- The giant among midgets
5/9/2008 11:03:58 AM
she came out west to find the sun
she lost her name but found a new one
amy goes to school all day
but at night in the neighborhood
they call her amphetamine
she's perfect in that fucked up way
that all the magazines seem to want to glorify these days
she looks like a teenage anthem
yeah, she looks like she used to be
happy with the girl inside.
yeah, she looks so bored sometimes
she's got that super-pale skin
and those soft green eyes
she looks like she could have been
happy in a better life...
4/15/2008 7:34:07 AM
It is way too early in the day for me to deal with other humans.

Word to the wise: Don't expect me to be pleasant between the hours of 7am and 2pm. If I am pleasant, then be glad I am and don't nitpick -how- I'm being pleasant.
4/4/2008 1:55:11 PM
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

that is all.
4/2/2008 11:29:45 PM
I cannot seem to stress this enough:

Just because you claim to be a damned Dom/me does not make me a rutting little bitch for you. Do not order me to do something without preliminary talks. Do not be a presumptuous ass and expect me to beg for your 'training'. I submit only when the person I'm dealing with truly deserves the gift of my submission. Just as I expect a Master or Mistress to only give me the gift of their dominance if I am deserving of it.

That said, calling yourself a Dom/me will not have me on my knees for you.

And also: Don't tell me you've finished training someone else and are 'ready for someone new.' This indicates to me you definitely will not provide the sort of relationship I need, and makes you hideously unattractive to me.

I am *not* a toy to be used and discarded.

I am a beautiful, mostly submissive girl to be loved and cherished for what gifts I can offer to the right Dom/me.

It also doesn't hurt mentioning that if you're already unattractive to me, doing any above mentioned things will eliminate ALL chances of my even bothering to respond to your dumb asses.

- Surly little bitch.
3/21/2008 1:07:14 PM
So, I never claimed to be intelligent.

I had been wondering why, for the past... oh, two years on the site, I'd not gotten much in the way of messages.

And then I checked my bulk mail folder.

HOLY CRAP!

I apparently forgot about the filters I'd put in place. Now I've fixed it, so that should take care of me being a neglectful little girl.

Sorry, dears!
3/9/2008 10:21:34 AM
I'm in the market for getting my own place. I need some alone time.
3/5/2008 10:37:11 PM
Hey again.

Remember that playdate I had? Well the reason it fizzled was because he told me, in no uncertain terms, that he wasn't attracted to me because I was heavier than average. He waited, of course, three weeks to tell me this. He waited to tell me this until after he'd played to completion with me four times in a four-day trip.

He'd seen my photos previously. He knew how I looked from the neck down, in addition to my headshots. He hadn't objected to anything I suggested in our conversations leading up to his visit. He certainly didn't stop me when I stripped down for him.

Evidently, I've been used, and not in a good way. And when called out on this, he denies ever using me.

I'm really upset about this.
3/3/2008 9:42:09 AM
This little wench just got herself an awesome new job. Telecommuting web design!

Now I have nothing but time to putter on this site and check email. Whee!

I don't even have to wear pants!
2/18/2008 10:13:46 AM
So what annoys you?
2/17/2008 8:26:25 AM
Oh, also:

For those who think it's worth mentioning,
Happy Valentine's Day.

Mine was very calm and without tears, shockingly enough. How was yours?
2/17/2008 8:18:46 AM
Playdate fizzled. At least I have a good friend now.

-sigh-
1/30/2008 6:36:19 AM
Have a playdate coming in tonight. He won't be leaving until sunday.

i'm a bit... trepidatious about it.
1/25/2008 9:03:55 AM
Feeling a smidgen better than my last entry. Still having trouble not letting myself be reminded of the way things, in my opinion, should have been.

I've finished designing my wings. Now I just need to get the cash to have them done. At the very least, I'd like to have the outlines done, and I hope I can find a good artist to do the design on me.

Been kind of throwing myself into writing fiction, though I really should work on my drawing again. It might be cathartic and therapeutic to do some actual visual art. My issue is motivation now. The former Master would always encourage me and chide me if I didn't draw anything for a while, and now I lack that motivation. My muse has left me, has been gone for... too long.

I need a muse.
1/17/2008 12:05:12 PM
New year, same old bullcrap.

I can't win.

I've been... discarded. Impatience and a Master's desire for instant gratification... and a pair of soulmates divided.

I hurt. A lot.
12/9/2007 8:24:58 AM
The holidays are tough when you spend them on the wrong coast.

That's all I have to report for now.
10/23/2007 5:49:34 AM
I feel the need to express that I submit only when the person I'm dealing with truly deserves the gift of my submission. Just as I expect a Master to only give me the gift of his dominance if I am deserving of it.

That said, calling yourself a Dom/me will not have me on my knees for you. Unless CoffinJack has specifically given me to you for playtime, don't expect me to be 'yours'. Mind you, if CoffinJack allows for it, anything goes. Just... try to be convincing as a dom/me, otherwise I'm just going to laugh at you.

- a. martyr


6/6/2007 12:17:25 AM
*bouncebouncebounce*

yaaaaay.... june needs to go by quick quick quick!
5/21/2007 12:02:12 AM
made for one another.
two pieces of a human puzzle.
finally there is completion.

i am happy. CoffinJack makes me feel so wonderful.
5/11/2007 11:55:09 AM
You keep looking at me like things might change.

Nothing has changed, and I am not going back.

Because I will never again be your toy.
5/2/2007 4:55:45 PM
Oh yeah... thaaat's sexy.

I have a spider bite on my leg. It looks pretty hot. (No, it's not serious, it was nothing more than a little house spider.)
4/25/2007 10:19:21 AM
CoffinJack: Christ, and you're mine?
a: all yours.
CoffinJack: I am one lucky bastard.

This has sparked a new interest and desire to purchase more corsets. *nods firmly*
4/15/2007 11:28:56 PM
I am the luckiest little girl in the world.

CoffinJack is the absolute most wonderful Master I could ever have. *sigh*
4/6/2007 8:32:02 AM
The most beautiful gift I've ever gotten was not anything material, and it came from my Templar's lips last night while we spoke on the phone.

"I love you, and I will give you my collar. Someday I will give you my ring."

I asked, teary-eyed, "Why?" (yeah, impetuous little thing I am sometimes, but the Templar lets it slide a lot.)

I could hear him smile, and without hesitation he said, "Because you are my soulmate."

I have never been so happy.
4/5/2007 7:45:43 AM
I'm not a huge fan of going to sleep upset. It usually means I wake up that way, and it ruins my whole day until I can resolve the issue that is upsetting me.

Remember, even a submissive has feelings, and when a serious discussion is cut short by one person before the discussion is finished, it hurts mine.


4/4/2007 11:49:46 PM
I am having an itchy day today. My eczema has flared up in one spot on my neck, which makes it pretty difficult to want to tolerate a collar all day. My inner thighs also itch, too, but I'm doing well enough not to scratch those bits.

Thankfully, however, my collar has not arrived from California just yet, so I have some time to heal this icky patch before that happens.

Work was not interesting. But I think from now on I will be having more interesting days, given the new portion of my morning routine I have been assigned.

Just one more year...
4/4/2007 8:56:04 AM
*sigh*

The martyr does not like having no days off of work to focus on her Master. But to work I go, and hopefully it will be slow enough that i can just draw all night.

poop. rain.
4/4/2007 1:41:00 AM
*begin girlish squealing of joy*

CoffinJack CoffinJack CoffinJack!

*end squeals*
11/3/2006 10:26:47 AM
Fat of the land.

So many corpulent, vile, unattractive creatures.

America is ugly.
CollegeGodessONE
 
 Age: 24
  California