If sex or the acts of BDSM are what drive you to come here..Best keep traveling. I desire power exchange. Sex and BDSM activities are reserved for the one that submits to me.
"Only when you give up everything are you free to be and do anything"
(I am a Sadist) Let's get that out in front. If you don't have experience in or enjoy the pleasures that pain can bring, We will not be a good match.
That Said: physical is but a small part to my way of life but it does need to be there.
More than physical, I crave the mental aspects of a power exchange. This is the essence of my desires. If you want to get close to my heart, open yourself to me and offer your will. Nothing makes my heart beat faster or endears me to a person like it.
I have a very clear idea of what I want out of a female. If you are willing and only if you are WILLING to walk that path can I help you submit in the ways I desire. (I know right, such a novel idea these days)
Submission isn't meant to be a breeze but it's not meant to be a battle either. I don't expect you to be perfect or a machine but don't fool yourself into thinking that there aren't things that you will need to work on, as do we all. A little about me..I love creative endeavors of many types..I get to express this in my work everyday and I love to do it as well inside of relationships. I'm very affectionate and I mean very. I believe in passion for life and love and wish to show just how much as often as possible. Life without passion is little more than mere existing. I love nature and I admit I don't get to get involved like I'd like to but there is coming a time when that won't be an issue. I will be moving to Alaska for an off-the-grid lifestyle as soon as I can make it happen. This is a set in stone plan so be ready and willing to embrace this as your life as well if we are to be together. I'm a Gorean Male but a Man first.(An Unorthodox Traditionalist :)..) To me that means I'm not perfect but I do strive to be the best that i can be. I blend traditions with my own creative flare into what I see as a simpler way of life for me. In that, I'm looking for a female that helps me to simplify things not complicate them. As we all know, life can be complicated enough without a person adding to it.
Don't expect me to be a machine or saint either. I will make mistakes. I am human, after all. Just know they are my mistakes to make. I expect you to support me in the bad times and the good.
What you can expect from me is an unwavering, tenacious attitude for most things in life as well as this lifestyle. I'm not here part time. I take my beliefs seriously.If you are for me, you will also.
I enjoy TPE in all of my intimate relationships....Definitely not looking for someone's watered down, homogenized version of what slavery is...I've soul searched enough to know exactly who I am and what I want...you will either see it my way or you won't..I'm looking, obviously, for someone that fits me...And just because I see my way as right doesn't mean I see yours as wrong..It is simply the right way for me and if you are for me, you will see my way as right also.....
As a Man, I'm on a journey seeking balance in as many aspects of my life as I can achieve it in..
I know, there will always be mistakes made in life but as long as we learn from them(do not repeat them)it makes all the difference.
More about you: What I look for in a female is a sweet disposition (shyness is sexy too:>), willing and eager to listen/obey..a hard worker, with a deep desire to serve (I will not stomach laziness or a lackluster performance) I'm looking also for someone who has a deep longing and understanding of an M/s dynamic. I'm also looking for love but it doesn't have to be present to make the Dynamic work..Yet it's so much sweeter when it's there)
It's been a while since I've posted :>. A little update:
Things are pretty much the usual. business is up and down. My relationship with a particular female has changed, for the good. We weren't a good match intimately speaking but we have remained friends and that is doing well.(At least I think so :>.) We usually speak 2 or 3 times a week and I look forward to her calls.? She's definitely a positive in my life.
I got rid of all my pups! Zoe and Rambo are doing great. They're the usual brats :> If you can't tell by all the pictures that I'm a dog lover..Speaking with me would most assuredly let you know. They are a gift.
I'm coming into my busy season and if this year is similar to the last..I'll be one step closer to a piece of property in Alaska. I can't wait till that starts to take shape.
Anyway, that's it for now.
God Bless.
Happy New Year
Merry Christmas.
Okay, that's a little more snow than I'm use to :>..still a beautiful thing to see.
Just got done with the feeding of nine pups....I have to supplement or they'll drain zoe dry. Little leaches that they are lol. Really though I look forward to when they are a little bigger and more of their canine personalities come out. Another week or two and they will be all over the place :>.
The snow is finally here! (I just let zoe out to go to the bathroom and stood at the door laughing..She didn't know what to make of the snow on the ground lol..maybe I'll take them both out for a bit to play in it tomorrow morning..hopefully it stays for a day or so.)I've been looking forward to this for awhile. When the first snow falls it reminds me of the first days in which I came to this area 2 years ago..13 degrees outside and me in a t-shirt, shorts and sandals lol..I knew I was gonna enjoy this refreshing change of weather(No sarcasm here. I really do love it:>) It makes me look back and I'm thankful of all that God has done for me..sure I put the effort in with only a couple of hundred in my pocket upon arrival but He's given me the opportunities..placed them square in front of me when I've asked and needed them most. Now 2 years later..I'm in a great home on a busy street from which I'm able to run my business..Good friends that have been there for me and a at least one great woman that I've met, recently..She's gone now but the memory of her and the kind of person she is...will be with me for some time to come..They don't have to stay for me to appreciate that they were here. They just have to be good people. When it comes to life in general..I'm happy and thankful for all that I have and look forward to the rest to come.
My female field lab just had pups..2 pics up.
Well Well..Back again..Indecision: I really hate it when people have no idea what they want to do when they come to me. How is that? I know exactly what I want..How I'm going to go about getting it..etc.etc. Is that too much to ask that a female has those same things figured out? You really shouldn't waste a persons time until you know the answers to those questions or at least are willing to go ahead with figuring them out. What kind of answer is "I'd rather not meet you because I'm afraid I will like you"..So let me get this straight..Everything is potentially good between us but you'd rather not move it ahead a little to make sure because your afraid you might wind up having feelings for me? Isn't that the point of being here for the both of us?Sounds fishy to me lol...
I've had suspicions that this was happening. I knew the ability to do this was possible because the technology made it so but of course you don't really have proof. Well here ya go. I've always said if it was humanly possible to do something, you could bet it would be done..so lie to yourself if you like :>.
Wow can I pick'm lol. One of my exes just sent me a text (The one I told not to ever contact me again because I caught her lying) and wanted to show me her new? boyfriend. She told me that He asked her to marry him and they were already living together. I guess this was supposed to make me jealous or something..That girl has Jerry Springer written all over her. Poor fella..I wonder if he knows she was talking to me..That's what she lied about to me lol..She was talking to a few guys behind my back while she was telling me that she was falling for me lol..What a trip some people are. She doesn't understand what she did wrong and want's to be friends lol. I think I'll pass..I'm funny that way.
An Update:
I'm going to close my other shop because of the economy. With the cost of two locations and the fact that I'm doing all of this without much capital, I think it's best to regroup till I get a few things worked out. I hate to give up the other location. It's a great spot and would work if I had more capital to see it through till it grew a little more. So it's back to one location and maybe a little more spending cash straight off lol.
Zoe is pregnant(My female field lab)..She's due in another 3 weeks I think..I'll have to check the dates of when I think it was against today's date to be a little clearer but I believe I'm close. I may keep one for her to have a round..I'd feel bad if I took all of her pups away..but I can't keep them all. Of course I'll be looking for good homes for them.
God bless, Anthony.
I usually gravitate towards older females because of their stability..not that all of them are stable of course..it just so happens that's my experience so far. Every person is different but I've noticed patterns based on age that seems to crop up more often than not. The older females tend to be independent...so much so that it collides with their ability to let go of the control. It's only natural when you've been the one you rely on for so long.. Part of this is maybe because they don't trust as easily as the younger submissives do...Every so often I see a younger female that for one reason or another strikes me as interesting..That brings me to the next bit..She's 22..pretty and talented., sweet nature, has a beautiful singing voice and is very self aware for her age..she has yet to figure out how to use that self awareness to help her make changes in her life..She needs to make changes desperately but because she's young I think she's less inclined to because of fear..With her history and boy does she have one I can understand her reluctance to trust...She's now doing a classic no no..because of her needs she's trying to get the attention she needs from multiple people because she has a fear of being alone..My advice to her was to close the profile down and just try being alone..She's getting men from all sides telling her no doubt a 100 different things which can be confusing..The best thing for anyone in this situation in my opinion is to take a break from everyone for a bit. I know I've done similar things for different reasons and it always works for me..No guarantee it will work of course but what's happening right now isn't any better. That's part of my reason for backing up. Last thing she needs is someone confusing her more.
Sometimes life throws crap at ya..Try making lemonade outta that!
Here I sat, last night, thinking constantly of her. It's a regular thing now, especially on the weekends, when we would be together. Perfect chemistry, beautiful woman, compassionate, honest, funny, a little nuts..but who isn't? She's not perfect,? she's not without faults but she knows that and I loved her anyways. The downfall to all of the great things we had? Beliefs in how a relationship should be. How it should be ran. Both sides have valid beliefs. She wants what she wants and I too want what I want. One has to come to terms with the others way of thinking or it would never work. She's all for compromise..sounds reasonable right? Sure but what If it compromises the others way of life to the point where they won't get what they are looking for? Not so reasonable then. She wants to be friends and I would love to have her in my life. Here's the kicker there. I don't believe in putting one's self through that kind of torture emotionally...I know, if I couldn't be with her like I want to be..I would want her to be happy and if that was with another Man..If she were to truly find happiness with another...I would be happy for her but it wouldn't negate the pain I would feel...nor do I think it would for her either. I don't have anything to prove..I don't need to remain friends with her to show the rest of the world how grown up I think I am. How sophisticated I think I can be. I'm smart enough to know if I put my hand in the fire..it's gonna hurt..don't touch the fire! Bottom line is I know myself..beyond the posturing and self-denial that most do to get by. I may be a little bit of an ape at times (Uhh Uhh..private joke :>) but I do at least know this much. I miss you, I love you and I really do hope you find what your looking for.
'To be completely woman you need a master,and in him a compass for your
life.You need a man you can look up to and respect.If you dethrone him
it's no wonder that you are discontented, and discontented women are not
loved for long.'
~Marlene Dietrich~
She whispers to me in the dark of night. closing my eyes as she draws near I listen intently for the sound of it I know with all that I am that it is still there I can sense it and it warms me inside the sound of her sleeping, like music to me Her rhythmical breathing draws forth my dreams and I am with her once more swimming through the sounds of laughter I can hear it now as plain as day It dances from the distance ?"I love you" Just before I begin to wake.
Happy Halloween!
God promises a safe landing - not a calm passage.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America....
?If I'm not there, I go to work.
(Robert Orben)
God doesn't give you the people you want; He gives you the people you NEED.... to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.
Having just a memory is better than not having seen what might have been. If need be I have the will of ten men but I also have a very tender heart. It takes time to see that clearly if your not looking. I'm not afraid to let people know how I feel though..even from one minute to the next:>. I know people watch and judge but I am's who I am's as one says. You'll like me for what I bring to the table or you'll move onto the next one. I know..I know..I can be a real hardarse sometimes lol. One Uncompromising SOB but to the right female..That's my charm. I've lived this lifestyle for more than a few years. I don't lie to myself about what I am, what I need to work on or what I want. It's hard to find a female that compliments me, not that I haven't had it before so I know what's possible.
love isn't gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction
I took this from a friends profile. It says it all to me.
How complicated can a relationship be?(rhetorical) Such a simple concept but such complexity all at the same time. I had a wonderful connection with her but it wasn't enough, love wasn't enough. It seems that way. We laughed and had fun together..I began to let my guard down and so did she. Yet here we are without one another. All based on a difference in lifestyle beliefs essentially. Stupidly simple yet for each of us..very complex issues. I'm an extremist when it comes to my beliefs on M/s and how it should go. I know there can't be slavery as defined by a dictionary and I wouldn't want that either. Yet...living it out of love as close to what it may have been like based on my own desires is what I seek. I know first hand the kind of closeness a relationship like that can be.? She being and extremely independent female would of course have issues with living like that. So we get what we have now. Two people who love one another but may not be right for one another. It's a shame..Like I said..I haven't had a connection like this for quite some time. I wish her the best no matter what happens. She's a wonderful woman.
Time stands still tonight and in the late hour Just moments before the first rays of light. I think of her and what could have been. I wander through the halls of my memories searching for the happiness once again. remembering all the good things that made me smile. I laugh inside at those times and thank God she was with me for that short while. I miss her smile, her laughter, her compassion..Just a few things that made a brighter day. Despite the anguish I feel now, I wouldn't have it any other way.
How can you trust someone's judgment when they can't be truthful with themselves.
Just when you think you can trust someone you find out that they lie. What makes it worse is that they aren't a big enough person to own up to it.
Quick Update:
I met a girl on a rocky road..The road had a few twists, a few ups and downs. We parted ways for a bit. Then I met another girl on the same road and the other girl came back to the road from another path..now we all travel on the same road together. Or at the very least we are trying to. They are both very good women. I'm happy to know them.
I've never been one for poly but here I am and it aint so bad.
Things have kinda slowed down in my business. The season has changed and that always affects how things might go but also I haven't had anyone renting rooms in my house so I've had to foot the bill for 2 locations. Mix that up with a few more unexpected problems and it can cause one big problem but I'm trusting in the Lord and working like I am behind all the time:>. We do the best we can and push through.
I think Zoe (That's my lab) is going to have pups. Maybe a pit/lab mix. I'll be glad to give them out to a good home when they are born if anyone wants one:>.
God Bless.
People will say screen names don't mean anything or you can't tell a person from them. That is the case if your looking to read their whole history in a word or two. I look at them as an indicator, either a possible good or bad. Doesn't mean I'll turn away unless it says something like Ihatemen or the like. It may not be the whole book but it's a page from it. To those who say..."I didn't put much thought into it" BS....You put more than your letting on, otherwise you might have named yourself...Iamtheworstslaveever. Not sure if that would fit into the box anyway..Thank goodness lol
*Chuckles*
Ever notice that people's screen names rarely reflect who they actually are? It's usually who they want you to think they are, who they see themselves as or who they really want to be but it's hardly ever the truth. If your thinking..." I bet He doesn't have an ounce of evil intent in his bones" You'd be mistaken..I'm one of those that pick's a name based on a truth. That's not to say I can't be nice as well :>
Ever give someone something they were adamant about having just to see what they would go after next? I see now that you've been working things in your direction and when faced with getting what you wanted, no more than 10 minutes later you were going after the next issue.
One more:
Jesus of Nazareth, without money and arms, conquered more millions than
Alexander the Great, Caesar, Mohammed, and Napoleon; without science
and learning, he shed more light on things human and divine than all
philosophers and scholars combined; without the eloquence of school, he
spoke such words of life as were never spoken before or since, and
produced effects which lie beyond the reach of orator or poet; without
writing a single line, he set more pens in motion, and furnished themes
for more sermons, orations, discussions, learned volumes, works of art,
and songs of praise than the whole army of great men of ancient and
modern times. Philip Schaff
I know men and I tell you that Jesus Christ is no mere man. Between Him
and every other person in the world there is no possible term of
comparison. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I have founded empires.
But on what did we rest the creation of our genius? Upon force. Jesus
Christ founded His empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men
would die for Him. Napoleon
It's interesting to see the words of some of the greatest Men in our history speak out for Jesus and why wouldn't they..There is no greater than He.
I started looking through some of my old journals just now. They save them all I think.
Man that's a lot I've written in a year.
In a corner of my heart.. Time stands still for her.. Vivid visions of smiling faces.. Warm remembrance of would be places.. Come crashing in with winters chill.. While I sit upon? my window sill..
Still..I hold to a dream and won't let go.. breathing deeply the lingering .. scent of her tender soul..
It was just a casual look "j"..Turn the drama/panic dial to "0"..if you can that is.
Alaska:
I'm one step closer to? my dream. I've got my properties down to a list of 4 after a long search on the internet. There's so much to consider, even when picking a remote property. The way people are these days, your liable to wind up in the middle of a crater if your not careful. People will do anything for a dollar include selling their own mother to make that buck. Anyway, back on track. After weeding through all the possible property mishaps, I think I've found a few that will hold up to further scrutiny. That means a trek there to make sure before I purchase. I have a real-estate guy who is, I think anyway, fairly trust worthy and knowledgeable about Alaskan land. I round up the properties and send them to Him..He checks them over and gives me the run down on what He finds. I would even trust buying a property site unseen through Him if it came down to it. Practical reasons may just lean towards that. We will see.
Thank God for the hide button lol.
How can you expect to get anything serious when you have your arsehole posted for everyone to view? It never ceases to amaze me how someone could compain about the quality of people wanting nothing but sex when they have their body exposed in their main pics.
I expected as much. When you challenge people these days about what they do and say and they run yet state they are firm in their beliefs. I just have to chuckle.
The "Gift-o-SUBmission"
I received an email last night, took a look at her profile and found that word"Gift". When I think gift, I usually think weeee this is going to be fun but not so much anymore. :> I've learned to ask "What did you get me and if it sucks..Where do I return it?"I have yet to see if it's a gift or not. I think where most people have
a problem with the word gift is when submissives think they're doing
the Dominant a favor or they walk around with attitudes because they
think they're gift is uber-special. (So if your looking to do me a favor...I'll pass..If this is another way to place what you have on a pedestal...Then I'm liable to knock it down where it belongs)In most cases it's not and at best
it's your run-o-the-mill subbie talk. Your form of submission may be a
tird with a pretty bow on it. So don't think so highly of it just yet.
Unfortunately, in this case, it's not the thought that counts.
How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(Null and void instead of voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just different from what you've seen
I feel like hurting someone: I've got someone coming over this weekend. I don't do casual play but I wouldn't exactly call this casual. Besides there's no sex involved. That's the way I need it and she understands. I really want a creative release..It's been some time since I've had my hands on the willing flesh of a maso. My tastes can vere to the extreme at times. It's hard to find someone you can make a M/s connection with so I appreciate her willingness. She's a real friend. I'm sure we're both going to enjoy it. :>
Advice: I rarely give it when it comes to a relationship. A: People never listen to rational reasoning during emotional turmoil. B: I'm coming from a totally different mindset than the next person as do most people. How many people do you know that will give you advice based on what's truly best for you? Usually most give you advice on how THEY would handle it. (Hypothetical) Girl "A" get's dumped by her fella...girlfriend "B" says screw the guy..go out and jump every guy you come across...Well that's not usually girl "A's" standard operating procedure but her friend is a "free spirit"(euphemism for whore) and she's distraught over the breakup so she date's immediately. Good intentions but bad advice when the rational thing would have been to deal with the hurt like a responsible adult and face the fears. So you see folks..most of ya should probably keep your opinions to yourself until your adult enough to face your own fears before you help others face theirs. In the end..your not actually helping anyone. I was told as a child that if you didn't have anything good to say..close your hole. Always base your advice on the person not "your life" or just keep the trap shut.
I had a female ask me about two weeks ago "What are you looking for?"(In a female) It's easy to answer because I've thought about that extensively for some time over my years. When I first started dating as a young teen of course I had little to no idea what that was. I went on instincts but my instincts were'nt as honed as they are now nor do I go solely on them alone. I look now for signs of goodness in the person, levels of submissiveness, (Despite what anyone thinks..there ARE females that are more submissive than others. Just as there are alpha males and levels of dominance and aggressiveness. Don't be foolish in thinking different.) as well as willingness to work hard, Less prone to drama/causes trouble. I look for a woman that's comfortable in her slavehood..one that's confident without being cocky or arrogant. Someone who can easily give her will to another because she is driven to by her nature..She would be most likely one who others think as a doormat but with nthe knowledge she would never be discarded or treated as such because what she offers is valuable. Of course she knows this about herself and projects it in a classy and humble way. She feels no need to bash the previous Dominants that have come and gone because it's not in her spirit to do so.
I've had some "interesting" females come into my life in the last few years. There was "p". A newbie just entering into the lifestyle who romanticized the Gorean lifestyle. When she found out she would be put on a diet, exercise plan and had to actually live by rules. Real Life wasn't as pleasant as the fantasies were. Then there was "j"..Ahhh my dreams must have been working overtime there I have to admit because I thought she was the love of my life, a soul mate, a friend for life.(Bubble Pop) She wound up being the most afraid to live person that I've ever met. All her friends patted her on the back for being such a brave woman but little did they really know her. She makes her decisions from the belly of fear. She teaches others how to be good slaves while living alone for the last 10 years because she's still traumatized by her last relationship. That brings us to another "j" . I should've turned her back when I first learned of some of the things she told me. She's done some really nasty things to me and others. I guess the only reason I didn't is because my heart was torn open from the last mishap and I didn't want to do to another human being what was done to me. I could'nt see not at least giving it a shot because she did have a good side as well. I think we all do or at least most do.(Now who's living in fantasy world? :>) I've learned lessons from all of them so I wouldn't trade the experiences but I'd gladly give up the regrets. A gorean that has feelings! Who would've guessed it? May God Bless you as He has me.
Some of these journals are funny! Girls professing undying love for their Dominants and cursing the earth the next week cause He's not around anymore. I see it coming a mile away like that proverbial train wreck you can't take your eyes from. Girls with such drama or such lofty fantasy driven ideas about their wants that it's no wonder they keep going from one to another. Seriously, If you have to fluff up the relationship with dramatic expressions of "love" then it must be lacking somewhere. This isn't meant for the ones who get caught up in a good relationship just the ones who seem to fall in love with every Dom that passes by. Then you have those who refuse to settle! I'm actually fond of those except when their wants are based in space instead of earth. I'm all for sticking to you guns till you get someone who is compatible to you but realistically there is no perfect fit from two imperfect creatures. I look for females that are hard workers and just good people. You might think "Those are simple terms" you'd be surprised how hard that is to find these days.
To recent crazy journals I've read: If your skin is white you will not be right! If one arm is too long you must move on! If your eyes are blue, I am not for you! If we don't have the same political views, what would you have my heart do? If you have too much skin on your forehead, to me you might as well be dead! If your too fat then that is that! Now we all have preferences but I would personally list you as one of the dumbest, most idiotic slugs on the face of the planet and probably wouldn't want to be with you. So, superficial it is! :> I don't know about everyone else but I just want a good hearted person. Of course I'm being a smartarse but on a serious note. Some of that has been in journals. It says to me that they aren't very rational people. I'm fairly specific with what I want as well but it's where it counts.
I've been the odd person out the majority of my life. I've always done what I wanted to no matter the consequences. When I do things, all but a few in my life, I've known the possible outcomes and accepted them. I'm fully aware that my ways don't mesh with most people, even here, where one might think I would fit better but even here I stand out. Not in a special way, just different. I'm an extremist and a conservative. I run a business in a city where I sell to people all day but I really don't like people. I'd prefer to be in Alaska amongst nature and animals, which I love to be around. I like having the house I'm in but would trade it for another of my many trips across America with no more than a sleeping bag for warmth and a bicycle for transportation or hell walking for that matter. At the age of 21 I had an itch to travel and refused to wait or do it like everyone else did. I was told..save your money..travel in style..stay at nice hotels and dine at restaurants....I didn't want that kind of security. I wanted to test my metal, so I bought a 10 speed and headed north/northwest in search of adventure. I believe this is partly why I want to move to Alaska. I've heard the call since I was a child..Of course I hear the same ole tired whispers of caution...Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you can do this? Why in the hell would you want to do this?!?! Honestly on many levels I want out of the spiraling BS that I see a majority falling into. I want my freedom back in a way you'll never have it again. It's a last ditch effort to get back the ways I think God meant us to live. A simple life! Hard, honest work. The kind that puts food on the table by way of your own hands. Trusting in the hands of God and in the hands that God gave you to make your way.
MY MUMMY HAVING CANCERS PROBLEM OVER 10 MONTHS AGO NOW
AM JUST EARLY OUT OF COLLEGE
Food: I LIKE MEAL (We have this in common)
LIFE :I LIKE MOST THINK IN LIFE I LIKE MOVING OUT WITH MY FRIENDS
Color: Blue and Purple(I like most think in life too...One of my favorite thinks was when I first moved out with friends!) She's batting 100 so-far!
Flower: I LIKE TO PLAY AND MOVING WITH FLOWER
(Okay I'm not sure what she mea nt here but I do like play and flowers..maybe she's delivering flowers?)
Religion: Christian
Hobbies:camping, video games. movies, Fishing, Bowling, Computer/Internet, Golfing, Hiking
WHAT I DO LIKE: Concerts, Live Theater, Movies, Watching Video, live musical, others.
I WAS BORN AND RACE IN VIRGINIA VA.
I LOSE MY X MASTER he died in yr ago of lung cancer he was 75 YRS before he died and he has been a good Master to me so far...
Slave MICHEL....Hey to every one on here i have been harked from my yahoo ID so i have to reopen new one now so am on
Two more bite the dust! lol What a sad state of affairs this lifestyle has found itself in. The solid influx of thrill-seekers, swingers and abusers on both sides of the fence have done to BDSM what TV did to radio..This old grey goose just ain't what she use to be :>
Be proud of your inner doormat!
I SAID "WHAT"S UP WITH THE VAGINA SHOTS!" :>
What's up with the dildo in the vagina profiles? I thought we couldn't have nudity/graphic pics up.
The old "block the email" trick lol.
I guess I hit a nerve with the bedroom submissive lol.
For shits and giggles: I'm looking for a live-in slave, someone who will take care of my house and do the things I ask of them. Whether it's keeping the house clean, cooking or helping out in my business.? I will provide in return a roof over her head, food for her to eat, protection, direction and a savings account she may have after she leaves( The account will be locked to both of us until two signatures are provided..That means I won't be able to draw the money out either) Absolutely no sex involved..Think of this as solely a "job" with special terms. Term is for one year. You must be of good character, a hard worker and truly want to serve or this would never work of course. Just as in any type of relationship, we must get to know one another and build a trust.This should be interesting. Contact me if this flips your switch in the right direction.
I wish everyone a happy and safe 4th.
Update: Everything is going well. I had to get rid of the one guy that was helping me. He tried to take advantage my generosity one too many times.(Yes I CAN be generous!) Instead of getting better as of late he started to go the other way. I've had to correct him on the quality of work he was putting out as many as 2 to 3 times on each individual job.When people know better and screw up anyway, I have little patience. I was spending more time correcting him than focusing on the next job. Anyway, other than that, work is going great. I'm having fun with my new machine. It's making my job life much more enjoyable. I don't have the hindrances when it comes to creativity that I had before.
I think if you look back through my journals, you'll see me talk either about my God, my friends, my business or my dogs. That pretty much sums up my life. Those are the things that mean the most to me of course. I love my God, I love the type of work I do(I spend a lot of hours each day doing it. 8 till 8 :> so I would love it, No?) My dogs are pretty much with me the whole time during the day. If I had to choose between spending time with them and spending time with Humans...You bet ya butt it would be my four-legged friends anytime. As for my two-legged friends..I could do without the hassle at times but I do still love them as well even if they are a pain in the rear lol..The only thing that might be "missing" would be a female slave but she'd have to be a good fit for me. All in all I'd say I'm 98% happy with my life. How many can say that and it be really true?
I was asked recently "What do you like to do for fun?" I thought to myself...Should I? Yes I should. Listening to "Raindrops keep falling on my head" while driving down a freeway at 70 miles an hour in a thunderstorm with your head stuck in the passengers window nice and tight. Just thinking about it gives me the goosebumps. She gave me the oddest look. and then laughed and said "Your so funny". I chuckled too but never said I was kidding. Go figure.
Alas it is no more I hear her name calling from the darkness to me. Time has come in vain. All that I knew of her fades away and hearts trumpeters, slain. Fear?
I bought Zoe a squeak toy. Much to my dismay she loves it to death.? Now we have a high pitched squeal and squeak that goes on about 3 hours at a time at least once a day. :>. I'm glad she's enjoying it but man my ears need a rest lol.
catalyst, would be killer of a dream imperfection, not what she seemed Yet I still loved her she was a beauty to me delicate, passivity, behold innocence within she was to be a slave, lover and friend
I've been browsing the profiles a little lately. The two tones I'm picking up on seem to be one of anger/hate for the opposite gender or "I'm here for the sex only" lol. Based on what I consider slave for my personal tastes...I'm not seeing a lot that I would even consider submissive at all much less slave.
For the first: I can see how it might be frustrating searching for someone who is compatible but how do you expect to attract someone of quality when you aren't putting out good quality yourself?
For the second: Well that's just everywhere. People on the hunt for sex under the guise of being one thing or another. What's funny to me is that if they would be honest about BDSM being about sex for them, they'd probably get more of a response from a larger amount of people lol. People and their need for games. What can ya do lol.
New pic: It's zoe. Isn't she beautiful? A real pain sometimes but sweet as can be. :>
I'm pain and passion she cries And this you try to rationalize I'm not who you think I am nor will I be who you think I should be. I'm not the person you make believe But be my guest if it's what you need to sleep I'm just me, One in the same maybe you might have seen that if you had taken the time to know me instead you turned your head on a true love before you barely knew it's name you denied yourself a chance to feel what you knew in your heart to be real a delicate flower is she in shame that a whispering breathe is all it takes with pointed aim to break a promise made
I decided to try the second location. It keeps knocking on my door so I'll go for it and see what happens. If it works, I'll be one step closer in a year to my dream. I'm looking now for a piece of land in Alaska. Secluded with one way in and one way out. BY Water TAXI! :>. It'll be a definite change of lifestyle but it won't be the first extreme lifestyle I've found myself in lol.
If it doesn't work (The second location not the "Alaskan move". That's just a matter of time)then I have an initial short time lease with an option for more time if I want it. If you don't try then you never fail and never truly learn nor will you ever succeed.
I'm working towards a 10 year plan but if I can move it up to five I'll be that much happier.
?" target="_blank">? I listened to this recently and it's every bit as beautiful as the first day I heard it. Timeless.
Quick update:
Everything is going great. In business and in my personal life :>. I also was just given a beautiful 17 week old field lab. She reminds me of a jack russel mix that lived here at one time. She's a little mischievous but sweet as an angel.? May God bless you all as He has me.
Gorgeous day out. I think I'll let Rambo drag me around outside for awhile later :>
What a beautiful day. I love being in a place that has a seasonal change. A place where you can see the change all around you in the form of budding trees and a pep in everyone's step. I love winter but the first days of spring are just as great. May God bless.
I received a gift from God today. I won't go into details for business reasons but let's just say I had something walk in my door today and it was basically handed to me for nothing. It was something I really wanted and could make good use of in my business. Something I needed to save a good bit of cash for and I also had someone who was going to lend me the other half for it but I got it today for 1/5th of what it was worth, so I didn't need to borrow even close to what I needed before. Thank you Lord for all you do for me.
She stands on the precipice of her soul Afraid to take a chance on her own life Afraid to leap, to walk forward into the night Frozen in place by the haunting flashes that pulse vividly in the recess of her mind A storm is coming, protections blown away there's no place to hide, she's not safe. So she runs, runs back to her ways of old If only she could take a chance and let go
Happy Easter Everyone!
What a busy day today. Tomorrow is going to be busier. It's 11:00 p.m. and I just got finished with today's workday. I've been going since 8:00 a.m. this morning. I'm happy for the work and it's sweeter when you love what you do. I suppose not many people could say that. I'm really thankful. I've heard a lot of people talk about starting their own business and how they are going to have it easier than they do at a regular job. I chuckle when they say it, because little do they know the kind of work it takes to be successful. I believe the stats are that only 25% of business start ups by Men make it in the first year. 75% go out of business. I learned a lot about what it takes to be in business from my stepfather. He was a real pain in the arse but I did get a first hand education from it. I was working in? his tire shop by the time I was 10 and running it 4 days out of the week by myself by age 11. This included the tire sales, changing, balancing and repairing them when needed.? At least I got something out of that relationship lol. Just counting the blessings these days that have been bestowed upon me by God.
Some people ask "How do you mix Christianity and BDSM?". My answer to that is "Very well, thanks". I don't see the problem unless maybe you tell your whole congregation. Why would you do that anyway? It's a private matter for you and your God. I practice at home so there are no problems and I haven't felt the need or pull from him to stop. He would let me know. He knows my heart when it comes to my search and knows I'm looking for a lifelong relationship. My suggestion to those that wonder is "Find your own personal path to your God and walk in the direction He points out for you. It differs for us all." May God bless you all.
In the days of long gone bye I remember seeing our life in the reflection of your eyes... I know the two paths are at an end but I still wonder what could have been... Still glimpses flash before my mind and I recall the goodness of what was then.
It is what it is.
Update:
Things are going really well. I've picked up in my business and it looks like I'm getting a good reputation around town. People are starting to know where I am and I'm getting a lot of referral work. Looks like I'll be getting my shop equipment upgrade that I was hoping for so I'm thrilled about that as well. All in all, I'm a happy camper.
The guy that helps me is coming along nicely. He's a little slow at picking things up but the things He has learned, He does well.
Rambo is doing fantastic and has come a long way from his shelter days and abuse. He plays like a pup constantly, he's eating well and he seems really happy here. He's regained his confidence around people and has opened up with licks to the face and play fighting. I love the little fella and I'm really happy I picked him up. I'll probably get another smaller dog so he'll have some company. Whenever I've had pets, I've always tried to get them in pairs. I think it's healthier for them to be with others of their own kind.
I feel really blessed by God and I'm happy and content. May God bless you all too.
You
are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.? You are the same decaying
organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same
compost pile.? ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
There's a good chance I won't be moving to the new location. I backed away from it because I'm also possibly getting a loan to upgrade to a digital machine. I'll be able to do a number of new things in my business? and it will give me the ability to breathe new life into the ones that I already do. There would be no limitations on me creatively. I can't afford the new business and the new machine at the same time because I started this with no capital. It's doing well but not that well yet lol.
Gotta love those "light switch sub/slaves" lol. They make holding back their "natural" submissive sides look so easy. :>?
Well I was thinking of opening another shop but I'm not sure it's in the cards just yet. I have a pretty good opportunity for a second location but my funds are iffy right now. My first location is just starting to really pick up but I don't know if that will last for sure. I believe it will but one never really knows with something so new. Then there's the lack of qualified help. Do I trust my first one to someone who doesn't have the vested interest to see it succeed like I do? I know the answer to this question but do I take the chance anyway for a shot at something bigger and the possibility of 2 great shops. I think there's a possible reason the opportunity has shown itself so maybe I'll try it and trust my tenaciousness and God to pull me through. I'm good at thinking on my feet and fixing problems when they arise. I'll probably pull the rest of my hair out doing it but I know I can do it.:>? It won't be the first time I've had multiple shops but at that time I had a good woman standing next to me that was a great worker. I stand alone this time. I managed the business and she acted as another worker. I made all the decisions but she was there to help when needed. I look for that again but it's hard to find and this lifestyle being what it is..it's doubly hard to find one who matches you on a majority of sides well. One thing I've learned along the way is to appreciate the things you have and know when some aren't good for you. I'll see how things play out and if God shows me a path I'll be sure to take it if that's what he wants.
I had a phenomenal week in the business. I mean, it's still small time compared to what's possible but it really kicked in this week. Looks like I was right about the winter and holidays. The closer spring gets the more business will pick up. God came through for me this week as He always does. I needed a large amount to pay for heating and a number of other bills and bam..it hit this week. All my bills are paid and I'm looking at a possible better week to come. Thank you Lord.
Well there goes another one lol. She had a lot of responsibilities that I would have gladly taken over but I could tell she probably would never have really appreciated that. It seemed that way anyway. If you have a chip on your shoulder you had better take it off before you speak. I won't put up with shortness or rudeness in any form. I liked her too(I had a feeling that it wasn't exactly mutual...I had a gut instinct that she just wanted someone to help her out of the mess she was in..Don't know if that's true but I did wonder. I sure hope it wasn't), that makes it harder but if a person can't respect you then it's better to move on. I wish her all the best.
Rarely do I see a human being love mind body and soul at the same time. You'll see maybe two but not three. If they love with their mind, they tend to give over the others with ease. It's the mind though that will cause many new and old relationships to falter. This is the toughest to conquer these days in a female because of many variables stemming from abuse, being used, abandonment, social conditioning and just plain crappy attitudes. There's one more way to "love" someone. That's with your words. I know more than a few people that say really beautiful things. Things that would touch the hardest of hearts. In the moment I'm sure most mean it but it never stands the test of time nor does it ever show in their actions. This is called lip-service. It's one of the ways that is very displeasing to me. I usually weed this out of my life early on. The insincerity is all to obvious and it's easy to spot.? Of course this stems from the mind as well but it's slightly different than struggling with yourself to conform to another's will. This is really what I'm talking about. It's a conscious choice to follow someone. You have to be WILLING not only to speak the words but take the actions needed to show sincerity.
I've met a really sweet woman. We've only been talking a short while but I can tell she's someone that I would want in my life regardless of whether we are a couple or not. She has a tender, compassionate and extremely submissive personality. One that will compliment Me very well I think. Like I have said, It's new so we will have to see what the cards have in store for us. I haven't been too impressed with more than a few that have crossed my path but she has something special about her. I look forward to the future steps in the same direction we may possibly take together.
It's spring time weather for the next few days. Always good for business :>
Things have been pretty quite here. The amount of people coming into the business has slowed a little because of the weather. It'll pick back up again I'm sure. I went out today handing out business cards and talking to potential customers. That has paid off.(I sold a big job) I will definitely do that again.? Usually, I don't get too excited till I have a deposit :>. No sure bets in this world anymore.
Hmmm, I got blocked by someone I don't even know lol. Maybe I do?*Chuckles*
It's snowing! What a beautiful sight to awake to. I know..There's many of you that wish it wasn't snowing :>. I love it, myself.
Today started off with a bang. Business is still doing well, seems to be holding the same good pattern of the last few weeks. Rambo is back to his playful self. I'm really glad about that. It's a blast watching him play every morning. I usually take time first thing in the morning to spend some time with him. We play hide and seek. I hide under the covers and he tries to play bite me when my head pops out lol. That usually lasts for about 15 mins and then after I get up and about we play catch with his favorite toy.(a rope knotted on both ends) He goes at it like it stole his last bowl of food lol. Everybody in the house is getting along well..One of the guys is showing an interest in helping and He's doing a good job. I hope He stays around and picks it up. Well, that's about it for now. I've got a busy day tomorrow and I'm waiting for some possible good news concerning my business. Hopefully it works out, if so, then I'll be on my way to a slightly easier retirement in Alsaka. If not, I'll just have to wait a little while till I can acomplish it. It'll work either way if God has it in my future.
What a beautiful day it has been. The snow has fallen much of it and has blanketed the entire area. Of course coming from Florida, I haven't seen much snow for some time. Since I've been here though, it's a different story. It's really beautiful and I know..wait a few seasons and I'll sing a different one myself? Not me..I was made for the cold weather and I hope to one day move to a place even colder than here. It's in my 10 year plan. ALASKA!...When I go out, I rarely wear anything but my summer clothes..even in winter. Shorts/T-shirt and sandals. I get some funny looks but I'm comfortable and that's what matters to me. Just today I had to shake the snow out of my sandals after a trip to Home Depot lol. I must be nuts huh..A real psycho lol
I took a look at the ratio's of men to women on this site in Virginia and wow. It's around 6 men to 1 woman no matter what side of the slash your on. It hasn't hindered me so far but man I didn't think it was that big of a difference. I'm lucky to have found some of the good ones I have but I could do the glass is half empty thing lol. I've found a whole lot of nasty one's as well. They seem nice till they speak to you and you get to know who they really are. Good luck fellas.
Today was awesome(Dramatic I know..Great just didn't do it justice somehow) I won't breathe easy just yet but it may be a sign that the lull of the last two months had to do with the holidays mostly. That's two days now that I've sold decent jobs this week. I need it to pay these big bills coming up this week and next. Rambo is feeling better and the puppy pain pills are helping to ease his suffering a little of which I am grateful. I have a new part time helper as well. One of the guys that lives here is on dialysis 3 times a week and needs something to do to keep the cabin fever away( I understand the cabin fever part). I could use the help so why not? I can only try to imagine how bad it must suck to have to live like that. Could you imagine it? Having to go to the docs, 3 times a week or you'd die? Man, that's rough.
I had both, a great day and a not so good. Business wise, the day was pretty good. I sold a big job that I'll collect a good bit of profit on. The bad part is, Rambo has eaten something that has caused him severe pain so the majority of the profit for today went to his vet bill. Over 200 for his bill. I just thank god that he gave me the ability to pay for it because I wouldn't be a happy camper if he had to go through another day of pain. I've grown quite attached to the fleabag lol. All in all, it turned out okay. I love the little guy, not much I wouldn't do for someone I love whenever possible , even a pet.
Looks like I'll have all the rooms rented by tomorrow, God willing. That really helps with the rent for my business as well as puts a little in my pocket. I've got a lot to be thankful for and I am. I had a pretty good week last week and look forward to an equal or better one this week. I don't have a female in my life full time but there's still time :>. I'm in no hurry and I'm armed with the knowledge of my own personal tastes so I'll choose wisely. Rushing in, no matter how awesome appearances are has shown me that not all that is shiny is worth having. Some were just not compatible and at least one other was fool's gold.
I had a great day today. Business picked up and I was fielding calls all day. I really could use a good business minded female, someone to help out around the office. Having html knowledge would be a big help as well. Maybe someone who knew how to right good business copy for a marketing campaign..Maybe I should have asked Santa before Christmas? lol.?
Ahhh the old Commodore 64. I just watched a video on it from the packet sniffers. Kinda painful getting through their rc car montage but once that was over I actually enjoyed it. That was one of my first "computers". It brings me back to the simpler times :>.
I'd like to add first: I'm no saint so don't get the wrong idea.
I'm looking for someone who has business skills or at the very least, good people skills. Someone who doesn't mind working and who enjoys helping others. I do work for a couple of local charities and want the female I'm with to enjoy those types of activities. It's not a lot of work right now because money is tight but I expect it to grow as spring gets closer. We will be busy :>. I do what I can right now and I believe that God wants me to help out in these ways that I can. It's good for the soul to do something for someone with no strings attached. I always seem to get back what I give, just in another form though. May God bless your lives and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Cowardly she runs from the light Hiding her sins in the dark of night All perceptions untrue but she swore she knew yet all the things she thought right, were in fact, never the truth. Perspective is a funny beast when we all see what we want to see. One must be willing not to lie to oneself before you make judgments on righteousness
I fell in love with this town as soon as I came here. Large enough for a decent business but small enough for a small town feel. Despite what others may say..This is great weather as well.
That being said: I've made my six month plans. I will buy a house of my own by the end of the six months. I have a four year lease here, so I'll keep it going and rent out the other room. I already have two people staying with me now and look to have another soon, so when I move, I'll just add another. Unless another opportunity comes up, the business will stay at this location. It's slowed a bit, probably from the holidays, but I'm sure it will pick up soon. I'm sure though, that as soon as spring gets close, it will boom. That's part of the reason why I'm gonna get a home. I want to invest in something and this housing market isn't going to stay this low forever. Some might say "He's counting those chickens too quick" lol but this isn't my first rodeo. this house will help me on? my 10 year plan as well..It's good business sense.
Safe Journey's, Malus.
Picture of Rambo is up. He's the one I got from the S.P.C.A. locally.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
I'm partial to the tribal one. I'll probably work on it some more.I usually do.:>
New pics up. Actually they are tat designs. I was bored, what can I say lol. Let me know what you think. I do commercial signs for a living and thought I'd give it a shot. Not bad if I do say so Myself.:>
Winter is here and I'm thrilled. I came from Florida where it's hot pretty much every day of the year. When summer is in full swing it's downright oppressive. I made the move around 8 months ago and I'm really glad I moved. Not just for the change in the weather but my life in general. A lot has happened since I first came in town without the first sign of help. There's something about testing your steel against the rest of the world and coming up on top again. I enjoyed the challenge fighting my way up from nothing once more to a better place than which I started. I've done this about 7 or 8 times in my life, each time for different reasons, but all with the same outcome(most of these were for the purpose of testing myself). I've learned in all those times what I was made of inside. Yes I make mistakes, some stupid, but the core of who I am is the same. I am a good person. I am a strong person. Each time I come through the other side, worn and tattered, I am reminded of what matters most. I am who I say I am.
May God Bless your path as He has Mine. Safe Journey's, Malus.
A new female has come my way. A Gorean slave to boot. Woohoo...Let's see where this goes :>.
Third time is the charm as they say..or is that 3 strikes your out.lol
The majority of the women that are drawn to me, seem to be, hurt little girls inside. I am not your daddy. I am not your therapist. Maybe it's the strictness in my words? Who knows right? I can however be a very nurturing person but only with a select few. If you don't have a naturally sweet disposition, WE WILL NOT GET ALONG. If your not already, by nature, in a deep state of submissiveness.? We will not get along. You will not like me in an intimate setting, I assure you.
I had to take Rambo to the vet last night to get fixed. Something I wasn't really happy about but it had to be done according to the local pound. I hated to leave him alone but I was there early to pick him up and he didn't seem phased by the whole ordeal. I probably stressed out more than he did lol. As a child, I had two pets go to the vet and never return so I'm not happy when they have to go. I do accept it's needed at times. Just glad to have him home.
Grow up jennifer.
Such a complete waste of what could be a wonderful relationship. It amazes me how some crave something so bad, they say anyway and are willing to watch it fade away. Like a reed in the wind they sway from one choice to another, from one man to the next.
I miss her as the air misses the wind.. She is lost to me and I to all.. I miss her like the stories to their ends.. I smile as my soul withers within.. Yet i go on..
I miss her like the pedals to a rose.. Such a delicate beauty to behold.. So, I suffer in silence and .. hold the pain so no friend knows.. It's the burden I must carry for it was.. I who made the mistakes.. It was she who gave as I chose to take..
Finally, a Democrat in office.
Update: Things are going well. My new pup is doing great. He's relaxed a lot and has gotten use to this being his new home. Great little fella :>.. The business has slowed a bit but I'm confident it will pick up again. My last potential didn't work out but again I'm confident God will send someone that's well suited for me. When I'm of a mind I have an immense amount of patience. I'm sure I'll get a chance to use it lol.
I went out today to the S.P.C.A. and picked up an older (small) black terrier mix(His name is Rambo lol). I'll have pics up soon. He's going to make a good pet i think. I've been wanting a dog for almost a year now after buying one for someone else and having a live-in slave with two as well. I miss the Jack Russel mix named sissy that use to live here. She was a sweetheart.
The last actions of past lovers can be very insightful on both sides. If they run and can't deal..what does that say? If they curse you to hell then love you the next day...what does that say?
For anyone interested in losing weight or if nothing else a way to keep up on daily requirements, here's a good way to do it. For about 36 dollars a month you can purchase a whey protein drink from wal-mart made by body fortress that provides 52 grams of protein per serving(which is what's required daily for most people). It's good for recovery after workouts or especially for those who have had a gastric bypass surgery( I recommend it to those above all). Happy health and safe journey's.
Update: I had a great week at my business. My trust in God and all the hard work is paying off. God is effecting how I interact with people in my business and in general. It's a good thing that I've wanted and needed for sometime now. I am a person at peace and it shows in my relationships. As long as I don't hinder Him I know He will continue to work in My life.
Why is it that people fight against the very thing they so deeply desire? Even as they speak the wants they are looking for ways to get out of them. Looking for reasons to distrust. Why live in such denial over something your heart craves? You never know what could be until you have been....I can sum it up in one word."FEAR"
Music I'm Listening to...Bones:Little Big Town
Here's something my recent live-in said to me when we were discussing things in the very beginning. I've known this for myself long before she came around but it brought it back to my eyes and i use it on a regular basis again.
It goes something like this: She said " When you see something in someone else that you don't like, what you may be seeing is something in yourself that's mirrored in them"
It's not always the case but it's a good way to look at people and maybe even a way to find some insight into your own make up as well. I'll give her this: She's an intelligent female but she may just be too smart for her own good. I know someone else like that as well. Maybe even a third person at times :>.
I talk to these new females and am able to see insight into myself and it helps me look at them in a better light. I've always had a talent at seeing through others to the heart of their particular issues. This is one more tool for my bag again.
Music I'm Listening to today:
Carolina Liar: I'm Not Over :>
Puddle Of Mudd: Physco
Luce: Buy A Dog
Just like you did last time, I'm sure you've painted a picture of how much a saint you were and how much of an arse i was. Your good at manipulating the truth to fit your own needs. I tried to end this as nice as possible..I told you i didn't think it was working..all the arguing wasn't healthy but you didn't want to hear it. I could attack you back and tell them all the nasty things you did but I won't bring myself to your level. I'll take the high road on this..You keep trying to do damage. It's what your best at.(shakes head) I won't be responding to anymore of your posts.
Your son's mail is still coming here. You need to change it, i'm going to do a return to sender after this week coming up. You can come by to pick it up but after this I would rather you not come here anymore.
To my recent live-in. I won't say that the words you write to me don't touch my heart. I'm not sure why your doing it. I know we aren't compatible. You know we aren't compatible. I can understand the pain and how hard it is to deal with. You were there for me during one of the roughest times in my life and i thank you for it. This whole time you've tried to be what i wanted and that's no way to live. I want someone who does it naturally. We tried and it hasn't worked and it's not going to work. I think you know that. So take care of yourself and stay in church.
May God Bless you.
Someone has been calling me and hanging up..First they would sit on the phone for a second then do it..I traced it to a cell number from the 703 area code. I thought it might be a certain female but when i began to investigate i found they were from Arlington, Va not where she is. I bet though she knows them pretty well. When you get ready bub..come see me. You know where i am..Your not going to get anything from me from the phone..Those tactics don't work on me. :> If you want respect from me your gonna to have to actually use the phone for talking. Just a side note..For about 5 dollars i can find out your name and so on and so on. so don't think your hidden. If you like i can hand that information over to some official people.:> (if this is you female, speak, don't sit on the phone.)
Now that the wabbit's have ran back to their holes..Let me just give an update. Things are going well..My business is doing better, It's gradually growing more and more. To think, around 6 months ago( Maybe close to 8..not the best with details like that) i was in another state, barely getting by. I moved here with no more than $200 dollars in my pocket and a vision. I had began making some serious plans with a female that went awry but i was determined not to falter on my plans. So i moved here anyway and with nothing more than will and the help of God made a life for myself. Now i live in a nice 2 story home on a busy street, just right for my business and am slowly getting some other things in my life worked out.
Thank you for your Blessings, God.
Oh the games people play lol. I see it coming long before it gets here. Some can't help it...They're the dumbest smart people i know..Remember, i'm the one who has plans for plans. I know what's in the minds of men. women too. Those that make a big to do and wave their hands in the air for all to see only stir the wind. Thick skinned till the end, my friends. That's who i am.
I had an interesting conversation with another, would be master. He
knows an ex and Mine's relationship..even though it is second hand
info. He began the conversation with.."it would be better if you'd just
go away". My presence on CM is bothering someone..After this long i might add..Hmmm, I'll go close my account right now then(Sure).I guess someone's nervous because i didn't just vanish when the
crap hit the fan like they would've wanted me to. I don't run from my
problems. If i do something wrong, I face it. No matter what. One of
the last things he said was "i'm not in danger." (Him speaking? about himself)which in the context
of the conversation meant someone might be looking for me(Someone has lost some serious perspective). Really, a
childish attempt to scare me i guess but I'd expect that from him..He's
the same guy who watched everyday for at least a year while his family
needed things like food and clothes for his slave's kids, doing nothing
while he played video games. No job for a year and you come to me with
advice? Don't be a foolish person.
I loved you woman and still do, as i told you before, that's not going
to change. If you fear me for some reason, that's on you. Go get help
for your anxiety, don't make trouble where there is none.
One more thing..Why would i find you on my business server when you
knew you shouldn't be there? I don't expect an answer from you but
maybe you would ask yourself the question. Makes no sense to me unless
you were A causing some trouble or B wanted to get my attention again
or was it C wanted to cause me some heartache? If it's either..have the
courage to set down your pride and fear so you can state your case. You
might be surprised by the outcome.
?Again, believe me, after months of this I don't expect anything from you but what's been to date.
Safe Journey's,
Malus.
In my opinion, Rabbit's don't make good pets. They are cute, soft and sweet but they tend to be flighty. Easily scared and can even be prone to heart attacks if scared suddenly. They run way to easily.
I prefer a dog..now there's a noble and honorable? beast. Loyal beyond belief.
Be Bold...Be the good friend, be loyal, be loving, and for your sake and mine, if you walk this way..Do Not Be? A Wabbit!
Each day, one more piece of my life gets filled in someway. If i need this or that, either internally or externally He provides a way for me to have it. Slowly but surely, if i let him, He will be there for me more each day.
Thank you God.
Sometimes when people write words you can tell, if you really pay attention, whether or not they are happy with their life. Sometimes it's just that the words don't have any life to them. No joy. No passion.
They say exactly what they have to, so they can get by.
It's to shake one's head at.
In a corner of my heart.. Time stands still for her.. Vivid visions of smiling faces.. Warm remembrance of would be places.. Come crashing in with winters chill.. While I sit upon? my window sill..
Still..I hold to a dream and won't let go.. breathing deeply the lingering .. scent of her tender soul..
I was in your head and once i get a taste of who a person is. It remains forever imprinted. I know the reason's for which you do what you do.
The games a female will play..I see you a mile before you get here girl.
Things are getting better. My business is growing. Each day i get a new person stopping in. That's definitely good news.
I miss the dogs, they were good company. I'll have to make a trip to the S.P.C.A. to find a four legged friend.
I'm meeting a few new slaves as well but nothing has clicked as of yet. I don't expect it to come overnight but it will get here. Like all things, patience will pay off.
All in all, I'm in a much better place these days.
Thank God for his help. I'm a blessed Man.
To you i say, congrats.
I can tell by the look on her face that she's doing exactly what she said she wasn't going to do.(seek vengeance) for what, i don't know other than her self satisfying petty ways.I asked her about my socks today.(they vanished when she did)she said "don't know what to tell you".nice and nasty too.lol, to think, i was going to share some of the stuff i made a trade for in my business.she reminds me each time i see her, why i don't want to see her anymore.I'll pay for a six dollar bag of socks, it's well worth it.
I had a somewhat hectic day but a good day.Made a few new customers, got some financial things straightened out.I had a moment of zen while working.I was doing my next job..the wind was breezing through the door and a calmness came over me.Pure satisfaction was what i felt while i pondered the happenings of the last few weeks.Despite what was once there, i know i've made the right decision.I feel no anger or remorse in her leaving.I've made mistakes but as i've posted before..don't we all from time to time.The final act of this relationship was no mistake.It wasn't what i wanted and i never would've been happy in the long run.Hell i wasn't happy then lol..To her..I wish you well but i don't want to see you around here after you get the last of your mail.
ROOMS FOR RENT!!!!woohoo.Seriously..I have 3 rooms for rent now :)
The new pic is of my favorite dog(sissy)I mentioned her earlier.Sweet as can be she is.
I feel like a really large burden has been lifted off of me.Finally some peace and quiet.
Thank you, God.
I dine with Heaven's eyes tonight... she comes to me in the dark of night... A feast of sweet submission... set forth for me alone by given right... The tenderness of her soul hastens my delight... Soft skin, hair set ablaze by full moon's light... Gently she gazes upon me with an open heart... Sleeping sounds to push away a harsh worlds bite... Was this real or was it just a dream... I wonder in the halls of my own mind... was everything what it seemed?... searching for the memories of what was left behind... in the farthest reaches i still find... where all the good things hide... this was once mine...
I once believed a dream that came to me...
soft and sweet it told a story of things to be...
a future filled with love and light away from the fear and fight of everyday life...
it spoke to me of beauty and happiness but a road traveled less...
it was a dream i would gladly live in...
if it were only allowed to be told again...
In the early hours just before the sun breaks..
i wish with all i am and for true loves sake...
that the dream would come once more..
just once more before i have to wake...
Just an update. So far, so good.Good things are happening.I've got my business opened up and things are going really well(in a nice two story older home on a busy street which I run my business in and live).My slave and I are working through some blockades with one another.Also, I'm a big animal lover(did i mention that) and i have two great dogs to boot.One is called Domino(nick named Dom-a-ho for laughs) and the other is sissy(she's gotta be one of the sweetest dogs I've ever owned)besides the occasional mess on the floor....they are fun to have :)(the dogs..not the mess)Life is good(knock on wood)I thought i would share with the rest of the class since some still seem to have an interest :>
Now, what would you be doing on my business server?Although, I left the password open to see if you would use it, I didn't really think you would...The whole I'm much more honorable than you thing came to mind..Ya Know?You were even up to mischief it seems huh jess?If you want to talk or vent, have the courage to do it upfront.I can understand how a person might be upset...say or do some things they don't mean.How about you?I'll pull the server records to see how long you've been visiting. I'm not angry, just curious.
Fly Home.. It's been way to long.. i've searched the heavens.. i've searched the earth and seas.. praying for the day of your rebirth.. with eyes closed i've heard.. the fluttering of your wings.. what does it mean to be free.. i've heard the whipsers of your soul.. and they've given the answers to me.. i was so far far away it was hard.. to hear the beauty of your words.. but i know now what it all means.. you were my winged gift.. and you gave your wings to me
I look to the weekend with anticipation.i have my first meet set up..woohoo, lol.i can't wait.what a good girl she is!
(i've met someone new.that's why i havent been on as much...i'm still here though so if you would like to know more about me..just email me :)
(this poem is for her.) i wanted to say that i've really enjoyed talking with you..it's been refreshing..i look forward to the possibilities.whatever they may be...i believe we are going to be good friends if nothing more...
new tenderness speaks to me.. full of hopes and promises.. that may soon come to be.. whispers of truths yet to be told.. loving touches that i may yet behold.. humble heart and lowered eyes.. bent kness and soft smiles.. she is who she is with ease.. no fighting against slavery's release.. she speaks to me..she speaks to me..
I've had some hard decisions to make recently.Not everything is what it seems and i've finally realised that they are for the best.i feel like i've missed a bullet with what has happened lately.i gave so many chances to work it out, because i didnt get any second chances recently myself yet nothing was learned by the other person..i felt like it was the right thing to do, definitely.i firmly believe with all my heart that we ALL deserve second chances, no matter what we do as long as we can show we've learned.
i'm on alot reading the forums so send an email to say hi.
if i could only touch her again.. she might know and understand.. she might feel the passion in me.. i can only hope she will see.. through dismal days, across miles of land.. that my love burns bright.. that i long for the sweetness of her skin.. the taste of her soft words.. as our lips make a tender embrace.. that i too crave her caressing hands.. for her to look into my eyes.. cupping her hands agaisnt my face.. run her fingers through my beard.. touch me in my soul, she did..
Anyone ever see The Deadliest Catch?I love that show..of course i have Alaska fever, so i would.Ever since i was a child, i've had dreams of seeing that part of the country..Another one of my dreams is to have a piece of remote land there..a nice cabin(that i would build)alongside a large lake..fishing, hunting and farming for my food..i've been to about 20 staes but never made it there yet..i will though and as far as i'm concerned..not soon enough.
It's too bad some of us have to learn lessons the hard way in life..it makes life much harder....hopefully you learn instead of giving more lipservice..
Happy Mother's Day!!well wishes to all.
One of my favorite artist is James Blunt..very soulful music and lyrics that stir my core.my favorites are Goodbye my lover, Tears and Rain,You're Beautiful and I Really Want You..but i love all of his stuff.
i can feel the rythme of her heart.. beating next to mine.. a sense of being found and yet being lost .. in the endless gaze of her loving eyes.. our bodies touch for what seems like eternity.. fused together as one,skin on skin .. embracing the sweetness of her inner light.. we dive deeper into one another, drowning without care.. i gasp for her,she is in my very breath.. the pulse that quickens in my veins.. the essence of our souls, intertwined.. we love as one, bound not by distance or time..
shattered dreams are what i live now.. broken promises of love and discarded vows.. they were once the sweetest things to me.. she was once the most beautiful thing to see.. i looked forward to the times we would spend together.. yet now, out of my mind with grief.. i felt it coming to an end.. she's clouded truths, seeing things that arent there.. making them more than they were, easier to bare.. twisting the love we felt into hate.. sized just right to fit her, sealing our fate..
hope springs eternal seems long gone dry.. against desert winds i slowly die.. pushing forward, turning and twisting within.. my mind swept through lifes past sins.. grasping what i can of happiness,i stand firm.. forvever pushing back against the sands of time.. holding out for that one brief glimpse of light..
my voice thunders
i hear you cry my heart pounds i see her die words meant well tearful eyes lessons learned pain disguised a soft touch a sweet smile love remembered passion fires with bent knees and head bowed forgiveness is given all becomes right
i wish you well, female.i broke communication because it was time to do so.i do things for a purpose whether you see it or not.i do hope you find what it is that you are looking for.and i do hope you can get to the place of service i was trying to lead you to..once you do you'll wonder why you fought it so.yes it is very calming when you know you've made the right decision.not to say they aren't hard to do but they are needed.i'm not looking for someones watered down, homoginized view of what slavery is..what i want may not be for the masses but it's just right for me.i know myself pretty well.i know my faults as well as my strong points....i know my desires and dislikes..and i am happy with who i am.when it's all done and said..that counts for a lot.
The Gorean Master desires more than a slave's submission, more than
merely her body. A Gorean man is satisfied with nothing less than all
of a slave. He will possess you, body and mind, heart and soul. Nothing
less is acceptable.
Savages of Gor, page 174
(good quote)
ahhhh, the beauty of a humble slave.
I want to soar through the vast blueness of my heart and through the clouds in my mind to reach the sun in my soul once again.this time i'll be ready for the brilliance it holds for me.
determined not to see the light of day....she stands with fists balled in the worst of ways.... angry at the way the wind blows....no real rhyme or reason for her dismay....the love has changed forms but she can't seem to escape...denial is a beautiful thing...
