Majestic1

I suggest that on a first date we have a sumptuous dinner in a very good restaurant... preferably one with tablecloths
However I need adequate notice so that our date can coincide with my annual shower..so there
A sense of humour is essential..otherwise I may be forced to tickle you to death and then shoot myself !!

And I do carry a small ladder and a medium-sized chandelier in the car boot...well just in case I get lucky...after all I used to be a ermm... Boy Scout !

Now please note, that due to possible impending arthritis I may have difficulty in removing your undergarments..so be kind to the elderly and don't wear any..thank you...also I expect you to be on time...otherwise you leave me no option but to spank you before, DURING and after dinner...ermm...do try and please be late !!

Oh by the way...please don't refer me to another site to view your photos, or see your contact number...because I will not do it..so spare both of us the aggravation....sooo kind..

I am a non-smoker...but have no qualms if you do....as I carry all kinds of equipment...like a fire extinguisher !

Now please answer promptly, as time is running out, so I hope that I won't be forced to pursue you round the bedroom in my motorised zimmer...and who knows perhaps an oncoming case of Galloping Alzheimer's muttering....what's your name again ??!!
Now if you insist on using text speak, this is perfectly acceptable as I have sufficient funds to employ a 12 year old to decipher...
Perhaps I might add that if you are seeking the elusive "spark" we wait till Guy Fawkes day ...
And to the woman who suggested I play with her belly button for 2 hours prior to ermm.."having her"...I repeat that "the only attraction of your belly button would be as a receptacle for the salt as I have my dinner on your stomach..."