lustysweetone

It seems many think they will be the exception.  Under NO circumstance will I become involved or seek to be involved with anyone not local. If you are outside the Portland Metropolitan area, it is too far for what I need and desire. Period! 

Friends is always an option. No that does not infer friends with benefits. 

Please respect this.

Communication....

I feel I am damned if I do... damned if I don't. 

Why is this?

The brat within... and her purpose... 

Throughout my journey as a submissive there have been many a things that I have learned. Some would be considered monumental discoveries while others, minute. A recent discovery that I have made ranks up there with being pretty monumental in the grand scheme of things. For those who have helped me into realizing this, I cannot thank you enough.

Many submissives consider themselves brats and are proud of it. At one time, I would (or did) consider myself one of those. A few years back that started to diminish. I would say roughly about the time I discovered my slave-like qualities and desires. With some dominants/Masters over the years this brat has lay fairly quiet, while with a few, that's just about all there was... brat. Through discovery with a dominant whom I now consider a very dear friend, I have come to realize that brat is not the "real me". Only select few have avoided the brat within. It was not until this recent discovery that I realized why that was.

When a submissive or slave is with a certain dominant, she senses him, his power, his control, and just his overall demeanor. It takes little, if any, words, but it's known. It is then, that this brat inside, all but disappears. She holds no purpose in those times. The submissive/slave... myself... feels safe and secure. She does not feel the need to test him or the limits around her. On the other side of this though, if that security is not felt, the brat rises to the surface. It's not only to test the dominant and his control, but to protect herself, as while the brat is upon the surface, the slave cannot fully submit. Thus, until the dominant can tame the brat and reassure the slave of his control and dominance, he will never fully have her.

This discovery, while enlightening, is also a bit scary. I am finding lately, that the brat has been surfacing far more than she is lying dormant. Having been on this journey of that One for so long, becomes then discouraging, as while the brat is about, the true slave does not show. I suppose though, once that right one shows himself, the brat will fade away and the true nature of the slave will shine through.