From previous ID on 6/6/2005 1:07:06 AM
 
i came upon a thought today that has caused me to type a few thoughts in my journal.i am two people.  i am two different creatures in one skin.  It's sometimes difficult to balance the two within a normal daily routine.  One side is always ever present litterally POUNDING on the door to be let out.  She's screaming.  She's alone, but knows if she keeps working on her male counterpart, he'll relent (as most males do for females), and she'll become more a part of every day life.He fights it.  He's scared and justifiably so!!  He can logically put things together, but when it comes to sharing emotions, communicating on an intimate level, and generally being less in control, he fights it.She would like nothing more than to just lay back and let life pass by with a smile on everyone's face.  She longs to pamper someone... make them feel nice, warm, and safe.Neither want to be taken advantage of.  They are both hardworking, but would like to be effectively trained to get out of an ever present laziness through the direction of their Mistress.This is me, but where is my Mistress?  How would i compliment her?  What can i do now in order to make myself more appealing to  my special One?ugh... i hate nights like these.  Talking to air with the realization that after searching for 10 years, i'm STILL not able to be happy making someone else happy.  Is it THAT unattractive for a Domme to have both a male and female in their submissive??  i don't think so, but i can't question that can i??  Nope.  i'm stuck!  Grrrr!