Hello hello hello.Well thats the hello's out of the way.How are you tonight well i hope im back here now being not so loud in my profile.Because yes i found happiness and hope its going to be forever.And i wish all on CM the same.Although now i will not be on here so often there is one or two special people that hold a place in my heart and still wish to keep in touch with.But i am still open for friendship to chat away about anything and every thing as i think CM is still a good site and good tool to find friends and meet people from all walks of life.(still think they should have a seperate bit for pro Dommes/Doms though.It would help).So please if you want to chat and get anything of your mind.I am here to listen and be a friend.I would like to thank CM for giving all of us in the world of BDSM and D/s relationships an avenue to express our desires wants and needs.And to be able to freely comunicate. Lorraine :-)
Well tonight i have enjoyed so much.And i know when a problem has been ironed out we shall be happy.I spent the afternoon/evening with a very very special person and laughed and talked and spoke of each others feelings and desires and later as i hoped(and have done for a long time) connected spiritually and sexually and she is my everything.(Yes another same sex relationship)But please be in mind that my last relationdhip for 14 years was with a woman.Dont think please i mislead i am bi but nearly all the men i chatted to was not interested in me as a person or after the 3rd message pushed to move into there fantasy not how i would want to live.And some i let on to my google thinking they were different suddenly changed and once again pushed and directed to there fantasies and wants.And some that were just plain evil or bullies.So its not really a suprise i went for more of the female spirit.Who although expressed Dominace also had an understanding of love and the need for cuddles as well as obedience.To understand the difference between fun play and natural need to order and my need to obey.To understand this sort of need i can only give while i love and be in love and to be loved.Not an object to pull round by my hair and be thrashed just for sadistic pleasure.I can however be pulled round by my hair and be thrashed by some one i love and understands i deserve that at that time.But after wards be able to cuddle up in bed and watch tv together and talk and laugh.Instead of smashing my back doors in as one put it.Throw me in a room while they watch football and burp.But there is two males on here that shone through.A Master who in the very true sense is a Master and another i got close to and hope to meet and befriends with.i am sure(I hope) that they wont mind me naming them.The Master is Master94109 and tbh im not sure if he has anyone(Hope he has)But he was interested in me as a person and helped me by just being a gentle guiding hand and he would pop up now and then and be interested in my journal and happy when i was doing well and when i was down he gave me words of encouragement.He is also a very spiritual man and gave me good advice to stop me fearing 3 and 4am here.And it worked he also did not judge me or make me feel low when the horrible profile of me popped up.I would i know if i lived near in America where he lives would have met and if i was right for him be his.I mean to me he felt like a guardian Angel just keeping an eye on things.Gal's if your near him look him up because he is a Diamond shining in the sky.And as a Master(if your searching for one) you could not do better he is wise strong and firm.But understands love and tenderness is as important as dicipline.And spiritual to :-) >just every now and then he would pop up and i would feel better.I want to thank him for that:-) The other is a sub in Birmingham i enjoyed very much chatting with him.He really listened and i listened to him we really had a good laugh(mostly about his tugging and life in general).And he seems so nice and fun his name on here is Aphex2 So any Dommes that want a fun obediant and good conversation sub look him up.I hope to be his friend for as long as time is. And hope he finds the right Gal to love and serve he is also a Diamond in the sky.(He will make some Domme a happy Gal i know this)
I see it in your eyes there is something you want to tell me.I dont want to say im sorry i know there is nothing wrong. Don't be afraid be it will be alright. :-)
No need to run or hide its a wonderful wonderful life.Yes i had a wonderful day and i for a long time feel happy now.And i wish happiness on everybody on cm.One day it will happen and thats the truth.:-) .
Music is a good way to express feelings i think. :-)
