I am a sensual sadist seeking a short or long term relationship with a submissive female. I am 50 years old, 5'10, shaved head, 175 lbs Scots Irish, blue eyed, well groomed professional, drug and disease free. I am dominant in my vanilla life. I am variously a father, business owner, employer, homeowner in the community, guest lecturer at a local university. My dominance is supportive, nurturing, guiding, dependable, capable, a rock when needed. My Myers-Briggs is INTP/J and that describes my personality pretty well. I observe, think, learn, and try to figure things out. I study the people I play with and learn their psychology and brain chemistry and I take control of them mentally, emotionally, and sexually. For me BDSM is largely about learning and applying that knowledge during play. I don’t just swing a cane or throw a flogger. I play to create an intentional effect in a submissive – a floaty high, love, cathartic release, lust, humiliation. I constantly tinker with my play style to improve my effect. Every one of my scenes is different because every person is different and never in exactly the same mindset, mood, or emotional state. As my relationship with a submissive evolves, and we build mutual trust and respect, my play changes. Building the intimate bond that BDSM can create about takes time and attention and caring. I am patient and greatly enjoy experiencing my dynamics unfold. And after play I do my best to make sure my submissive is warm and happy and safe and loved. For me dominance comes from a place of inner peace, calm, and exercise of skill. Top space for me is well describe in Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s book When I play I like to think of myself as similar to an athlete “in the zone” or a carpenter making a work of art out of simple wood. Except of course my masterpiece is my submissives’ mind and body. Or maybe just her ass ;) I have found that I am most compatible with submissives who are alpha in their public life and wish to give over control in private. I am not intimidated by strong, educated, accomplished, and smart women. That said, I do not like to play with brats or those who 'top from the bottom.' A bratty submissive breaks my mental state. I find that a submissive who is bratty for additional attention and punishment is being a selfish lover and not giving me the submission that I treasure. My dominance does not depend on making someone else submit. She will submit because I have inspired her to do so.
