lovenhate

Anybody ever get off to gender bending in a non-domination context?  I think about it sometimes, especially when I'm in a clothing store.  I think of it like: I am in a heterosexual relationship with a guy.  We look kind of similar, are built in such a way that we can easily wear each other's clothes.  So we do.  I wear male clothing which he takes off and he fucks me from behind like he would a guy.  Or I penetrate him with a strap-on while he wears my black bra.

I think sometimes about this guy I used to date in junior high.  It was a completely vanilla relationship, before I even knew what S/M was really.  I wonder what he'd think of me now, if he knew all the kinky stuff I've done.

A friend told me they're considering doing blood play with someone they're dating.  I'm really envious.  Because I would love to do blood play, but...not just with anybody.  With someone I'm truly intimate with, I mean emotionally intimate as well as sexually.  Someone who understands all that the blood means to me.  Someone who I trust enough to want their mark on my skin.  It's not even really about power or pain for me at all, it's about...sharing... 

It's really hard for me to find someone I am both attracted to and can also really relate to on a deeper level.  Let alone what I really want...I'm embarrassed to even write it...my other half, my shadow, me in another body...I don't think I'll find that person here.  But at least I'm able to release those hidden desires out into the cosmos via the journal section.  That alone is worth something.

Had a dream 2 nights ago about fucking a snake woman/dragon woman...didn't want to wake up...

I miss being with a woman

I've been stressed lately and really need some good dirty fun.  Would love to find someone--pref. either a guy approximately around my height/weight or a girl with a nice thick ass--to do an erotic wrestling session with.  Any local takers? 

PS Seems like it's mostly guys who email me here--women, don't be shy!

This site has sucked for me as far as finding someone.  So why spend time on it?  Because the anonymity of the site lets me reveal my secret fantasies.  Right now I am obsessed with Jaime/Cersei on Game of Thrones.  Why?  Because it is incest.  Because they are twins.  Because of some things I really have no words for.

A bit more about who I generally go for:

Guys: BE AROUND MY OWN AGE.  I am not attracted to older guys unless they look like they're in their 20s.  I am usually more into non-white guys: latino, black, asian, arab, etc.  Love thug/street, gothic, metalhead style/attitude.  Not into fat/chubby guys.

Girls: Love all ages/races/body types.  Just be smart and passionate.

PS would love to find someone to do BDSM play with in an occult/ritual context...

Something different to reveal to the world: I have a very strong brother-sister incest fetish.  Many might find this sick or strange, but those who know, know: it's more than just a fetish.  And, sibling incest fetish is NOT related to any other types of incest fetish so let's not even go there.  I have never had any biological brothers or sisters but have long dreamed of finding my long lost...

To everybody who I planned to meet and didn't, especially those in NY: I'm sorry!  I have visited NY twice, but both times I've been completely occupied with the Occupy movement.  At Occupy Wall Street, I'm doing something real, vital--the comradeship is real--the violence is real, too, and I don't get off on it, although I'm sure the police do.  It's occurred to me more than once that they should just go on Collarme!