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8.14.2004
i've come a long way since i first discovered this world, yet there is so much more for me to learn and experience..... i am a new sub.... i started my journey in back in april. i had been reading romances and stories off of an erotic website for a while when i finally wandered into a chat room on that site.... i started chatting with a Dom (actually more like troll lol) which led me to exploring the world of D/s. wow, it was like lots of lightbulbs going off in my little head.... the more i read and reflected, the more i realized that this was something that i needed to explore. this was not something that appeared out of the blue... these thoughts and desires had been an unconcious part of me for quite a while.... an ache deep inside me......
while the physical aspect of a D/s relationship is important, the mental connection is of even more importance to me. (btw i'd prefer to receive emails from single Doms in my area that would like to explore the possibility of a relationship. i am only looking to pursue a r/l relationship with someone who would be able to share both the mental and physical aspects...).
in my vanilla life (lol, i still get such a kick out of saying that!) i am a very independent woman... i have varied interests such as travelling, reading, sports, museums, music, and so much more.... although i appear to be a comfortable extrovert in social situations, i am really much more of an introvert... i have always been quite quiet and shy, having a hard time letting people in to see the real me, however, it is something that i have been working on... honesty and trust are two very important values for me.... i also value loyalty, kindness, openess, fairness.... i am usually a very serious person and a hard worker, but i also have a very silly side as well.... ;)
i am very serious about pursuing a D/s relationship, i ache with the desire to submit to a strong, passionate, yet experienced and patient Dom.... i have so much to give but don't want to settle.... i am a pretty cautious soul so while finding a patient Dom is important to me, i am not looking to rush into an unsafe situation. open communication as well as trust must be established before i can take the step i long to take into a full r/l relationship.
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while the Dom that i have had contact with has had a positive impact on me and has helped me to begin to explore myself and all that i have in me to give, he has not been able to give me the kind of guidance that i not only need and ache for, but also deserve. being a new sub left on my own for weeks at a time was very difficult...and writing emails expressing my thoughts and asking questions without getting responses or being able to communicate and share myself and grow closer together also stunted the growth of our relationship. i have done a lot of thinking about this and have talked over my situation with some very supportive subs that i am lucky to have met (thanks k and bare!!!!)--- and have come to the conclusion that it is time to move on.
i know that moving on is the right thing to do, but it was a difficult decision that i did not make lightly. i have expressed my thoughts, feelings, and concerns to Him in a detailed, respectful manner and have given Him ample time to respond. i had hoped to resolve things and move forward together, unfortunately, has chosen to remain silent and i will be moving on alone. not quite as lonely thanks to my new friends, but still a lonelylittlegirl looking for the One that will make me His in every way.
this lonelylittlegirl knows that He is out there and hopes that He will find her. she has much to offer Him and knows that she needs His strength to guide her, she aches to be found but will remain patient until the time is right.
a couple more thoughts.....
some characteristics that i hope to find in a Dom:
experienced, patient, firm, strong, single, intelligent, a sense of humor, creative, safe, passionate, affectionate, a dark side, consistent, open, strict, compationate
some of my characteristics:
single, cute, intelligent, loyal, kind, passionate, silly, serious, affectionate, honest, adventurous, shy, considerate, relaxed, naughty
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june 2004
i am now 2 1/2 months into my journey. i feel very fortunate to have found a Dom who has taken an interest in me. He is helped me to open my eyes and realize that the journey starts within.
right now i am most interested in chat/email with other subs that would be willing to share their experiences with me. i would be most appreciative of your help!
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april 2004
i am an intelligent, independant, professional woman who has only just recently come to recognize that at heart i am a submissive.
i am still a little shocked that i am here, but i feel good, although a little nervous, about finally beginning to acknowledge and be open about the needs and desires that go far beyond the sexual fantasies i've had.
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june 2004
i am now 2 1/2 months into my journey. i feel very fortunate to have found a Dom who has taken an interest in me. He is helped me to open my eyes and realize that the journey starts within.
right now i am most interested in chat/email with other subs that would be willing to share their experiences with me. i would be most appreciative of your help!
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april 2004
i am an intelligent, independant, professional woman who has only just recently come to recognize that at heart i am a submissive.
i am still a little shocked that i am here, but i feel good, although a little nervous, about finally beginning to acknowledge and be open about the needs and desires that go far beyond the sexual fantasies i've had.
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