depravity, is it an obsession or much more than that? are we the trigger or the target? i wonder.

whar frightens me in all this is what the future will bring. i see older couples who seem so happy, so content. and i wonder how it will be when i grow older, when i am rejected. but i also know that those older couples are birds of prey, and for the time being i can accept my fate as fodder for them, for him, for her, for both

once again on line, once again available after a few days which were complicated. once again ready to explore.

thanks to CM i have already met people into BDSM here in NYC. It has been at times frightening, generally rewarding. And yet, i feel there is still more to it.