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| Sometimes I get tired of ruling everything around me everyday. I respect older people and love all kids around me. However I don't have any of my own and quite happy that way. I am a businessman and business is my passion, whether it is the Main Street or the Wall Street. I enjoy reading, traveling and rather finer things in life. I am a foodie, and an amateur mixologist. I love learning and studying different cultures and histories ever since I was an exchange student. Yes, I hardly ever left and loving the American Dream right now... But I thought the dream also included a freaky female character as well... :-(
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It is painful to be in a cuckold relationship. You love her, yet she gives you heartache. Yet you know she loves you at the end |
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We were at the major airport on the southern coast after a short 45 min flight. Our free shuttle picked us up and brought us to the all inclusive, adults only Club Med vacation village nestled between the plush green hills and the blue waters of the Mediterranean. The villas were spread across the land, several pools, different beaches, one central club house and a big bar / pool / party area. It was a slice of paradise.
My fianc?pulled out the metal cage as soon as we checked in our room. "Last night you learned what it means to be a real cuckold, pathetic boy. Now put your cage on and indulge in your impotency". I wasn't offended at all. I protested somewhat but we both knew I was born to be treated like this. We were together in an all inclusive adults only resort and I wouldn't be surprised if my fianc?sampled another visitor or two during our stay. What happened with my brother was yesterday. Nobody knew us here. Nobody would remember whether we were a slut and a cuckold match made in heaven, or hell.
I could feel the guys' eyes fixed on my fianc?as we descended down to the pool/bar area. I was sure my fianc?was checking them out equally. I loved pretending to be oblivious to the fact that almost all the guys were checking out the hot number next to me.
It wasn't long before a tall young French employee came by and introduced himself. He was the arching instructor on the resort. Arching? Who does arching? Apparently, there was an archery at the far end of the village past the larger beach, and his classes was starting in about 45 mins time. I don't know when my fianc?developed an interest in archery but I was pretty sure she was interested in the instructor. We made our way to the far end of the all inclusive village and here it was, a real archery before my eyes. Since I wasn't shooting any Bulls' eyes. I've left my fianc?with a few other women and a cpl of guys to indulge in the bows and arrows and the instructor, and made my way back to the beach. I was lost in the beautiful Mediterranean water, super fine golden sand, and beautiful bodies right in front of me.
I didn't even realize how much time has past before I saw one of the ladies from the arching class in the water. I walked back to the archery and it was deserted. I walked back to our room, thinking may be my fianc?had past by me and may be by ouch catching her in action. My heart skipped a beat or two as I opened the door, but she wasn't in the room either. So I walked back to the beach and saw that she was just walking back from the archery. I met her halfway and asked how did it go? She said the class just finished and she loved it. She suggested we dip in the water, since she was sweating and it'd be good on my already aching balls.
We've head back to our room to get ready for dinner and following party after cooling off in the water. A few hours of chastity made me feel so horny already, I was pretty much begging her to worship her virgin ass after shower. She refused to answer any of my questions about her whereabouts earlier, leaving me in the dark. By the time my tongue went as far deep as it could reach in her tight backdoor, she claimed there was nothing wrong with the staff going the 'extra mile' to keep her satisfied where I failed to reach. My mind was going crazy and I knew She was dripping wet by the time we left our room
The crowd started to gather around the pool bar area after dinner. We were sipping cocktails and people watching and people were watching us when our archer guy finally showed up. May be he had a cpl of answers to feed my emotional masochist side... I was wrong...
I could tell a hug and a kiss was a bit more intimate than a staff, customer relationship between him and my fianc? A firm hand shake with me while he positioned himself between her and I, and I was in for a ride... He ordered a lite beer and introduced my fianc?to the bar tending staff while his arm was still around her. First raise of the bottles / glasses was to my fianc?s beauty. Woohoo! The whole staff and nearby patrons cheered. After taking a large sip from his beer he finally he remembered I was still behind him. He raised his bottle again for me, this sexy, beautiful lady's lucky (!) fianc?Moi. The staff and the patrons cheered again... Yes, my fianc?was still in the arms of the arching instructor...
By the time he finished his second beer, and ordered the third, he cut straight to the chase; "your fianc?told me the meaning of the key she's carrying on her necklace, buddy"...
What?!? I Should have seen it coming a mile away. I started having that gut wrenching feeling in my stomach "That's a hell of a sacrifice you make for this sexy, promiscuous lady". Yes I knew. Meanwhile, she was giving me that 'I have no remorse for your pathetic excuse of manhood' look while being clutched under his strong arm.
Then the bombshell dropped ; "So, that means you're fine with me taking her away for a walk, aren't you, buddy?" I was speechless.
I didn't know which hurt more, looking into his eyes or her stares. Before I could mumble a word or two; "Stay put in your cage. I'm going to give your fianc?an advanced class in hitting the bulls eye".
As he finished his sentence he turned back and walked away holding my fiancee's hand. Not a single word nor a look back from my fianc?sealed the deal as she followed him wearing nothing but a black micro dress that barely covered her round petite ass, six inch pink Louboutins which made her barely reach his shoulder height, and a gold necklace which my mother presented her when we visited a week earlier and finally a brass key hanging from the necklace.
She made no attempt to pull her dress down as she walked away in her bull's arm. I knew I wasn't the only one watching her leave to receive her royal French welcome to the resort on the night we arrived...
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It was a fun, festive time. As the youngest of the family I had finally scored a prim, proper lady suitable for me to settle down for the rest of my life. It was going to be a short vacation back home to introduce this shy young beauty to my family, relatives, friends, the local clergy etc, lol. A couple of weeks long gatherings among the family and friends and a week long quiet time on the Mediterranean for the new love birds before flying back to our hectic lives in the big apple with the plans of a quiet wedding soon after.
We have recently started getting serious and living together but it wasn't a new relationship to start with. We've known each other for a good half a dozen years. Our relationship started at a dating site on the notion that cuckolding was going to be a part of it. The day after our initial meeting she was banging one of her lovers right before my eyes as I sat, mesmerized. What I had dreamt of for years and years was becoming reality in a matter of weeks. She seemed to know exactly what she wanted from me and our relationship. It was all fun and games, and I thought I've struck gold in the sea of Internet dating. However, I wasn't as sure as she was when it came to the final touch. She had pushed and pulled me thru the thick and dust of the relationship. She loved sex, she loved variety and she made no excuses. She could bang one of her regular lovers on a lunch break then end the day with hooking up with a stranger. The reality was a whole lot more humiliating than the fantasy and I started to get cold feet. However, she didn't have any time to waste for me to figure out what I wanted at my own leisure. She had found a new lover, a successful cuckold supposed to be, and she had happily moved on... Leaving me in the darkness for so long that I couldn't stand it anymore.
The reason for the that infinite darkness was my older
brother to start with. He had planted a seed in me back when I was still a virgin and ever since I was secretly /or openly searching for a promiscuous woman who appeared to be a quiet, prim, proper house wife on the outside. When I finally found one, she came with a bang. She was quiet type alright. But it was either her way or the highway. She wasn't like that in any of her other relationships with men, they came and gone, they used and seldomly abused her and they went their merry way. She was like a puppet in the hands of a strong willed "bull type" men. But the long term partner she sought, the cuckold was a specific character that she wanted me to be molded into.
there was no question when I knocked on her door again with flowers in my hand, there was no going back once I got on my knees, that I had accepted her absolute control over me. There were no more ifs or buts. She was going to get what or whom she wanted and I had no way or reason to oppose. Because I had given up and came to her terms. It was a moment of victory and defeat and it is when O/our relationship really started.
We had often talked about my brother like everything and everyone else. I had told her how he got me into cuckolding and how he caught me with another man in bed etc. she often joked coyly about how my brother was exactly her type and how sexy he was, an older bald man in shape. How bold he must have been taking what he wants when he wants. I knew she was teasing me as I told her time after time that family was out of limits and she would comply in a frustrated mode.
Finally the long dreaded trip came about. It was a constant ball of figures whom I haven't seen in ages, uncles, aunts, cousins, inner family, nephews, nieces... My fianc?was on her best behavior. Forget about promiscuity, if I didn't know her past I was about to believe her vanilla self myself... Day after night, sightseeing and meeting with numerous people, towards the end even I was getting tired of the attention, but she held up high.
The last night before we retired to the Mediterranean coast was a one large dinner/party. My fianc?was elegantly dressed in a long blue silk dress with a proper slit to the mid thigh and high heels. She was keeping up with her smiles while most members of the family was talking to her in their native tongue. There was about 25 people and the English speaking few was at one end of the table, my brother and his wife, on one side my sis, fianc?and I on the other side. The music started to get loud and the conversation louder. My brother excused himself to the restroom and that when my fianc?with a quick motion asked him politely to lead her to the restroom. My brother being the gentleman led her away... That's when my heart sank the first time in two weeks.
Could it be? Could she possibly take advantage of a last minute opportunity? A thrill? My sis and my brother's wife got in the conversation with relatives next to them, a cousin I haven't caught up with in a long time got a hold of me and drag me to the dance floor. I was dancing but my stomach was getting sick. I counted the songs, I counted the minutes one turned into five, five turned into fifteen. I was faking a laugh here answering a question there. I was checking my bro's wife and sis whether they realized how long it has been since my fianc?disappeared with my brother. Nobody seemed to pay attention. Then I thought it was impossible, with all this noise and the crowd and the guests, relatives, people at the bathroom line... Just when I was getting paranoid I saw my fianc?emerge from the bathroom in the arm of my brother, they were both smiling and talking, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. I sighed a deep breath. What the hell was going thru my mind. It wasn't even 15 minutes. I was all paranoid for no reason... I started dancing and showing my moves and and my fianc?joined me for a few minutes.
Towards the end of the night everybody wished us happiness and complimented on my fiancee's beauty which she hardly understood any of it. They wish us happy holidays, my brother asked what hotel we were staying at and mentioned what a good choice it was. He joked and said, at least nobody could hear you guys fucking. My fianc?and his wife laughed, I looked for sarcasm.
At the end of the long night we finally made it back to our hotel room. My fianc?wanted me to go down on her right away. Usually she gets horny when she gets home from banging one of her lovers and asks me to eat her out for long periods. I was happy that she was so horny. The vacation was upon us starting the next day. She tasted so sweet, but I realized her pussy was swollen, then I realized she had matching blue lace panties that were missing... I asked her whether she wore the panties earlier or not. She told me how stupid I was and that my brother kept them as a souvenir!!! With that I shot up!!! What?!? A ten gallon jug of hot boiling water just came down on my head... Are you feeding me my brother's creampie? I asked her. She said no silly, I swallowed him all... He came in buckets and it's all in my stomach. My knees buckled and I felt weak. He loved my deep throat skills. He never believed I could handle his size down my throat. But I wasn't going to let him cum inside me in that thin dress. Now get back to pleasuring your fianc? Your brother did most of the job. I need you to shut up and eat me till I fall asleep...
Your brother was everything I expected him to be...
Lick my asshole too, faggot. May be he wants that next...
Mmmphmmm..
Shut up...
As she fell asleep my worst nightmare or my first fantasy was realized.
And I was sleepless. |
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My brother had left home by the time I started walking, and he was living on his own in the great US of A. I had barely interacted with him growing up except when I had the chance to visit him in the summers. He was 16 years my senior and at the time when I started to get to know him, he was my idol. When I came here to study in college, he was going thru a bad divorce and parents wanted us to moved in together. That way I could keep him company thru hard times and he could keep an eye on the teenager me.
It wasnt long before I found a duffle bag full of VHS tapes in the apt which had scene after scene of man or two or three banging woman in front of another man. Who appeared to be in a state of pain, jealousy, joy, devotion and euphoria. (And let me tell you folks, this was way before Google, pornhub, FL, icq and all the variations of as we know of today, cuckold humiliation, interracial specific etc.) when he confronted me, and when I had the guts to ask him how come most of the scenes had a man watching the action? He told me there's nothing on this earth like fucking a woman in front of her husband, especially up her ass...
My jaw had dropped at the moment like it had never before. Imagine a barely eighteen year old virgin boy watching way too much porn at any given time and paying attention to the loser after sore loser sitting on the corner on most scenes and your idol telling you there's nothing like banging wives in front of their husbands?!?... And wait up... Anal sex?!? Wasn't that a sin to start with?!? Wtf?
We had spent about a year or so with my brother before he moved on. He had his ever growing collection of VHS porn to me, telling me I probably didn't have enough time to go thru of them all.
He came back months later and/or I visited him on occasion. At one of those occasions I remember having the courage to tell him with all my innocence that one day I would want him to bang my wife... He was quite taken aback... May be more than I was at the time. He asked me whether I was sure and still seeing him as my idol, I told him I had a lot more to learn from him... He told me may be I was one of 'those' guys and not to forget what I promised.
Years past, that conversations had cooled off long ago, may be even thrown in the freezer. One spring day my older brother was visiting me... By that time he became and "older" bro rather than an "idol" to me... I was no longer a virgin. Heck I had a hot girlfriend too. One night I was out with my brother catching up on lost time, when my gf had received a call from another girl at my place. By the time we got back, me and my gf had got into a heated argument and my brother got in between to cool my gf off. A few mins later I heard my gf shouting "get off me! get off me!" So I went into the bedroom to get my brother off my gf before he went too far... At the time I hadn't even thought about our conversation with my brother years back... And there was nothing to be worried about either.
A cpl of days later there was a block party at the college and the beer was almost free flowing. After a few too many to drink, I've struck up a conversation with this strange guy that I've seen around school a several times. There was something strange about him, that I couldn't quite point out. At some point I realized he was telling me he wanted to make me feel good. I was joking around and after he repeated it a few times, I had that strange feeling in my gut. The joking was finished and I asked him what he had in mind. He said let's find a place where we can be alone and I'll be happy to show you... I was intrigued. So, I told him my apt was just a few blocks away.
We made our way to my apt rather quickly and before I know he was on his knees, sucking my cock. I don't know whether it was the booze but it felt so good at the time... Soon we were both naked and I was sucking his cock and he was slowly fingering me. This was second or the third time I was ever tasting a guy and it was going much faster than my first cpl incidents. We had thrown caution to the wind, one thing led to another and next thing I know I was on all fours and this guy I barely knew was banging me balls deep... When we get tired of a position or I don't know what was the cue, we were changing the position and trying to get him deeper into my anal cavity.
I don't know how long we've enjoyed this incredible feeling when I realized a darkness by the open door to my room... When I looked a second time, the stranger who was banging me looked as well and finally slowed down... "Is that your daddy naughty boy?" He asked me. By this time my ankles were on his shoulders, I was half past out, and I didn't know what I was seeing or feeling was real... May be he saw my bro watching for awhile?!? Then he turned back and asked him "do you enjoy watching your boy take cock?" With that question, my brother excused himself and closed the door behind him... WTF man, that was my brother... I told him to stop, but he wouldn't hear it. "What's wrong faggot? Don't you like I make you feel good? Apparently your daddy doesn't mind you getting fucked, does he?" And he just kept pounding me and making me cry out louder in pain and pleasure. I don't know how long it was, may be 5 mins, may be 25. But after what felt like an eternity, he pulled out and came with a big roar. Almost to the point of making sure that my brother would hear it.
It was my first experience of being insulted in front of another person for enjoying another man's cock. And it was a family member! Luckily when we were done, my brother wasn't in the apt... The stranger 'friend' finally left my apt after getting a promise from me for letting him making me feel good another time. After a long cold shower and trying to figure out what just happened and what the f... my bro was doing at my place, I finally realized he was there for a visit... Boy was I drunk or what?
My brother had showed up after dark and had a quite civilized conversation with me... I was actually quite surprised at the time. He told me it was alright and that everybody had their choices. Of course I denied denied denied... I told him how could he think of that way? That I had a girlfriend and all. At the end he said it was ok and that he understood. And we never talked about that day ever again.
Long after my brother left and when the subject of my brother came up with my then gf, even years after we broke up, she always told me my brother was a 'snake' and that she would never trust him, and she cautioned me to never trust my brother either. When I asked her what did my brother do to make her say that, she would never answer me. |
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your woman finds out you're bisexual. she not only accepts but encourages.
you have a keeper. |
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When you find a slut for a soulmate, it is hard to deny you are going to be a cuckold. |
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Once a slut, she'll always be a slut.
You can't expect him to be a good wife forever.
Just like, once a fag, he'll always be a fag.
He might make a good husband, but he'll always crave cock. |
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As painful as it was, I can't help but crave the cuckold relationships I've been in. They were enjoyable although I despised at times. There was a particular one. It wasn't a real relationship. We never lived together, we weren't exclusive. Heck, how can you be 'exclusive' with a woman who loved and craved cheating, even more than sex itself. And she knew exactly what I needed. The jealousy of not being able to have her belong to me. Not that she'd ever belong to me, not even if we'd marry. She lingered me along, rubbing it in, pushing the right buttons, making me forget where I'd be physically when she was roaming all over me mentally. She pretended to be mine, yet finding happiness in the arms of another man. Time and time again.
For a man who is used to being in control, an uncontrollable woman is a bliss... |
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it is a unique bond between hot wife and a cuckold.
some women wouldn't dare think anything other than monogamy. i totally understand and respect their decision. then there are the other kind of women who are ready to cheat when the opportunity arises. they get a kick out of the mystery, the secrecy, and playing behind their spouses. and I've been in a couple of relationships with those kind of women and it was painful, yet it wasn't enjoyable... however, it is a unique kind of woman who would not only cheat on her spouse but put it right in his face at the same time. that woman is a leader who deserves to be worshipped. only she would understand what a cuckold needs and she would be more than happy to make her man follow her lead.
a cuckoldress does not appear every so often... so say they are but they are only interested in exploiting stupid submissive men. a true cuckoldress needs one man to feed her mental satisfaction. and a true cuckold is not wimp but rather a strong man who knows only by being owned by his partner that his true self will come out to play and enjoy life for he was meant to be from the start...
i have played the role of the bull for several cheaters, or may be they were cuckoldresses which i didn't know. however, as i stated above, my true calling was never to be a bull. i wasn't born for that role. whether i like it or not, enjoy it or not, the pain, the heartache, the humiliation gives me a reason to live. i hate the feeling of being weak and being cheated on. but when the woman i love comes back to me with a glowing face with the satisfaction of physical joy she just received and the mental satisfaction she takes when she looks in my eyes, i realize that is what my true calling in life comes alive... throw in the chastity cage and TPE takes over the world that i exist in. it is a degrading, painful role to be played. but that is who i am.
i can only deny myself for so long. |
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sometimes a man has to know when to let go... |
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Submission is all about numbing one's selfish, manly(!) urges and putting forth the desire to serving toward your keyholder's comfort and happiness. |
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Is it possible that a woman respects her submissive man once the excitement of a new D/s relationship cools off? |
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I was on vacation at the Mediterranean recently. I've had a chance to read cpl of books. One was quite interesting; Venus in Furs... It stressed that men and women are not equal and that women tend to accept men's dominance over them. However, if a man is brave enough to submit to a woman he'll be at the bottom of the hierarchy. Because eventually the woman he is going to submit to will seek a dominant man.
It would be heart breaking to lose my Domme to a Dom for good... However, cuckolding is still feels like a bad accident. The type that you want to stay away from but, can't help looking / staying interested in it. |
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@ Miami. 80F weather. Thinking about retiring to warmer climate sooner. Going back to the big apple hustle and bustle tomorrow. |
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Seems like I've been discarded.... Again :-( |
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New year, new beginning...
Beginning of the end?
The end of vanilla self...
the beginning of acceptance... |
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i had a comfortable childhood thank to god and my family. i didnt have to work till about 22-23. but once i have started working, i have been selfless about my earnings. i tried to be open handed to the people around me. i even worked seven days a week for several years in order to pay my family's backed up depth. people around me, friends often criticized that i was too subservient towards my family to the point of being used.
little did i know that this submissive/loser type of behavior was written deep in my character. i often felt bad for not being dominant and controlling, and using others for my pleasure rather than having myself used -even if it was my family who was using me- until of course i have met the right person. she not only understood and cherished my submissive side, she also encouraged my need to be used.
yes of course, many will condemn me for letting myself be used by another person. but her sadistic side understands exactly what i need to be happy and feel contend in my life. her only regret is that she wasnt the one who was being served my be all those years.
better late than never |
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It seems only natural to pick her up from her date's house or condo. Although somewhat embarrassing, I make small talk with her bull, and take her to dinner as she's hungry after sex. She enjoy being romantic with me and sexual with variety of men. She gives me what I need and I provide her what she needs. It's a win-win situation. As we slowly take small yet steady steps to reach what we both looked for in our lives from the very beginning. |
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I told her it was a turn on for me. I asked her to make love to another man, have sex with him. Although she was skeptical about whether I could handle the emotional break down, she agreed to continue her sexual freedom. At one point I was begging her to provide me with emotional pain.
Now I watch her dress up in sexy clothes and walk out the door, walk away from my arm to be with whomever she chooses to be with. And I realize this sexy lady no longer belongs to me. I had created a slut. She has always been a slut. However she had put a cap on her promiscuous tendencies only for me. Now that I had opened the flood gates, her sexiness no longer is mine and mine alone.
She's any guy's slut and I on the other hand, handed over my soul to her. She owns me and there's no turning back. |
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What could be more natural than spending the chilly night out in the car in order to give my lady and her boyfriend privacy in the warmth of the house and the bed?
As a cuckold I don't see myself entitled to all the details. |
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She enjoys dressing up in revealing clothes.
She may have given you the look and /or the nod. Even with her man next to her.
She may take it a step further and give you a blowjob in the bathroom
or let you bang her in the dark alley.
She may even invite you to the comfort of our home to let you fuck her brains out
while making me kneel on the floor.
But that doesn't give you the right to disrespect her.
She may be a slut but, She's still my lady. |
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I've had a long day yesterday. I woke up 4:30 am, caught a 6:30am flight at LGA heading to Charlotte, NC. The layover was one hour twenty mins. I took another puddle jumper plane to Fayetteville, NC. The home of Fort Bragg. I took the cab to greyhound station, waited another hour to catch a bus to Lumberton, NC on the border of SC. I waited some more at the tiny bus station at Lumberton to be picked up.
I finally made it to the Chevy dealer at Lumberton to pick my Caddy, only to be told that my battery was not holding charge. And the dealer wanted to charge me another $300 for a battery. Are you f..king kidding me? Good thing, I'm in auto parts business myself. I picked up my car, no turning off now till the battery holds charge. I wondered when or if.
I missed my car, since a fox went thru the bumper, radiator and condenser and I had to leave it in the middle of nowhere to get fixed and finished the trip with a rental 6 weeks ago. My eyes on the sensors my hands up on the wheel. I test the temp on higher speeds, 70mph, 80mph, steady 90mph, then I hit 100, 110mph briefly, temp is holding out perfect. No vibration on the wheels, however, battery charge is still low. Traction control keeps going off for no reason. And an occasional sheriff or a highway patrol here and there.
I make my way to Richmond, VA. Running low on gas, and fuel for my body. I pull off and refuel, skeptical about turning the car off. I hit the road, feisty drivers between Richmond and DC. I finally spotted a 556hp cts-v on DC beltway, this is my old play ground from my college days. Finally some serious competition, keeping up with him around 130-140mph. The temp is still holding, perfect!
Another pit stop after crossing over to NJ, told the attendant to watch the car so, I don't turn it off. Finally got some release, excitement has scared the pee away for hours, washed hands, got a bottle of water and got back on he road. I followed a brand new convertible SL 63 AMG doing about 100mph for awhile. It's the end of a long day and I don't wanna get in trouble and make it a longer day. I let him go ahead on the car lanes and follow him from a distance on the truck lanes till I spotted a dark cruiser dead in front of me. I slow down and while he is waiting for me to catch up AMG flies right by him on the other highway. He quickly picks up speed, switches lanes and pulls over two Arab looking rich kids. I slowly stroll by, made my way to Lincoln tunnel, thru soho to Williamsburg. I am back home, dead tired, and dirty. But a fun filled 500 mile trip in 9 hours.
What would have made it even better? Catching my dirty slut in bed with her bull, sound asleep half naked, not even realizing I arrived after a way too long of a day. Forcing me to sleep on the couch for not disturbing their peace. |
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The only way forward is to accept her total control over my life and become her slut. |
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I remember it like yesterday. Every little detail. I walked down to the hotel restaurant / bar with my lady hand in hand. She was dressed to kill as usual, micro dress with a zipper down the front. Definitely a head turner at the busy bar. The hotel was located across the stadium and it was a game day. We took a high table towards the back and she took the seat by the wall and I took the stall. We ordered our drinks and started waiting for the most exciting moment of our relationship. She was going to introduce her bf to me. By the time we finished our drinks we started discussing whether he'd really show up or chicken out last minute. We both were quite excited but I personally didn't know what to expect. Although its been a fantasy of mine almost all my life, since my first serious gf. I had never really introduced to cuckolding in person.
All of a sudden her face lit up. There he was young, tall, blond, good looking and full of energy. She greeted him with a kiss on the lips that set the tone right from the beginning. He had a full smile on his face as he set down next to her and dipped his hand under the table. I couldn't see what he was doing but her facial expression told me his hand was in between her legs. I'm sure our waitress could see what was going on under the table as she approached our table with a puzzled look to take our order for the second round of drinks. He had this sweet, obedient attitude towards her but a cocky one towards me. He openly told me my lady needed a better man to satisfy her and make her happy and all I could say was to approve his bold advances. They quickly finished their drinks and retired to our room and told me to stay put unless I could handle the humiliation. After watching them leave hand in hand, our waitress came back with an even more puzzled look. But before she said anything I told her I needed another drink. I could see her go back to the bar to order my drink and had all four other waitresses around her as well as the bartender and they were all glancing at me as our waitress kept talking. It wasn't hard to know that she was talking about me. I didn't know which was more humiliating, what's taking place upstairs or right there at the hotel bar. After finishing my drink and paying the tab for all three of us, I couldn't sit there with all the gossip going on around me and left the bar. I tried to kill time, went by the pool at the rooftop. But my mind kept driving me crazy. I couldn't keep myself away from the room.
I could hear her moans and cries from the outside. I could stand there and listen to the sounds till they were done. I really didn't want to go in and face him, clearly banging the hell out of my lady. But then I heard the elevator stopped at my floor and I knew somebody was going to come out and think of me as a pervert listening in on a cpl having sex. So, I quickly pull out my key and before the elevator doors open I was in my room and right there I was frozen on my tracks. There my lady was on the bed, on all fours facing towards the door, her face buried on the bed and her bull was behind her driving his big cock deep into her, causing her to let out a cry or a moan each time. He too was clearly enjoying himself with his hands grabbing the waist of my petite lady. His big hands covered almost all of my lady's petite butt. When he saw me come in the room, his pleasure almost doubled and his grin got bigger. He reached down and grabbed a handful of my lady's hair and pull her head up, he told her to look at me that I was there in the room with them. My lady was out on her own world, her eyes rolled back as she kept moaning and crying. His thrusts became harder and deeper, sending my lady deeper into frenzy and all I could do was to watch them, frozen on my tracks right at the entrance of the door.
I could tell it was deep mental satisfaction for all of us involved. On top of the physical satisfaction they were getting from each other. But she knew what I exactly needed, the mental satisfaction rather than the physical relief for my pathetic submissive needs were much more meaningful. That's why she wanted to keep me in long term chastity, make me go crazy with lust and need and give myself to her fully, without limits, become her sex starved doggy slave, cuckold husband. She knew how strong I was that I could give up sexual satisfaction for my own self in order to satisfy us both mentally and have us reach our nirvana.
While I was thinking about how beautiful and capable she was to have me taste what submission was and how I loved her even more after this experience, she announced couldn't take it anymore of his big cock pounding. Almost on cue, her bull came deep inside her with a loud moan of himself. But unlike the fantasy, there was no creampie or anything. However, he simply left the cum filled condom on the bathroom counter. After some more kissing and making more humiliating comments, he left quietly. All I could think of was going down on her sore pussy which was much more tastier than ever. It was and still is the most incredible sexual experience I've ever had even though I wasn't part of the sexual activity that took place that day. |
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I know I was meant to be the follower, someone special's beloved cuckold. No matter how much she loves me, she can't help but cheat on me. Not because she'd fuck just about anybody, but because she had me as her cuckold. Sex means much more to her when she's emotionally attached to someone else. She knows she hurts me deep inside, yet we both get turned on by the humiliation and emotional pain/torture. Vanilla just does not cut for neither of us no matter how many times we tried it in other relationships. That's just how life is. |
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Flight training starts Tuesday. :-D |
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There are those relationships we all have experienced. The relationship in which the sex was too good, it over took the relationship. The more you loved fucking him, the more you let go and let him treat you like a slut in bed. Heck you loved being the freak in the sheet so, why not? But, after some time he lost his respect to you and discontinued treating you a like a Lady in the streets. He knew he was too good for you in bed. Or was it the other way around? May be he was too much of a freak. But not the kind to settle down. Somewhere somehow things went wrong and what was left of the relationship was occasional booty calls. You knew you could call him whenever you felt lonely, and he'd provide you the royal fucking you needed. However, he was too busy hitting other chicks to take you out to dinner, or all that other lovely feely "bullshit" as he called. He wanted the ass, you wanted the cock.
May be that's why you called him that day as well. Although you had a date with me, you knew you weren't going to fuck me at the end of the night. May be you wanted to rip my clothes off and fuck me right when we walked back into your place. But, no! You wouldn't do that. A Lady wouldn't do that. That's why you had him meet us at the bar by his neighborhood at the end of the night. You introduced us and we were polite to each other as we are both gentlemen. But we could all feel his arrogance, knowing he is going to be the one taking you to his place, while I had to kiss your hand good night.
May be you invited me outside to the dark alley. So you could pull out his cock and have me give him a quick blow job. Just so that you could show me what kind of a freak he was, and how delicious his cock was that you keep going back to him even if it was only for sex... The mind blowing, forget where you were or who you were with kind of sex.
May be after several days you'd invite me to a party at his place, or a mutual friends' place, or may be a total stranger to me but to a party at some guy's place whom you've been flirting on line or in person for awhile. There would be some people at the party who'd know him and you both and your past. Yet I'd be the new date who tried hard to win the hearts of your girl friends and respect of the men before winning your heart... You'd know full well that it'll be ok for you to disappear with him for half an hour, leaving me in an awkward position with the people who knew you, who would ask me where my Lady is. May be it'll turn you on more, knowing you've transferred part of the humiliation of being used like a slut at a crowded party onto your date. You didn't have to face the sarcastic remarks. you were there to enjoy the cock. you didn't even care for the party. Reappearing minutes later, hair messed up, panties missing, may be even a full condom in a doggy bag as a gift for me; saving me from further humiliation(!) and having me take you back to your place or to another party which you cared for more... Or may be you have more plans to extend my humiliation and giving me what I needed...
May be you can indulge in all the joys of being, feeling and acting like a slut at nights by many and being treated like a Lady during the day by one, receiving flowers at your work place, visits to the victoria's secret for giving us both what we craved -whether is was physical or mental- the night before or the night after... Who knows? May be I'd get to worship your well used pussy at the end of the night, while my wrists are handcuffed to my ankles, helpless except for the service of my tongue. If and only if, I continue my best behaviour of treating You like my Lady... Who knows, may be the night would start that way and your booty call mate will arrive, blindfolding me in the same position and fucking him inches from me, not letting me know who the lucky guy is, except for the taste of my lady on his cock...
Who knows? May be I'm too stupid trying to get myself into such a relationship. May be I'm setting myself up for a summer of orgasm denial. A summer I will love to hate. May be the mind fuck will be so powerful that we both will agree for me to take the second place in order to allow alpha males to satisfy both our minds, and bodies... May be I will finally accept my role in life, pull the cuckold in me from the fantasyland and embrace it in real life. may be, i can surround the alpha traces in me every passing and renounce the need to treat a Lady like a slut in the bedroom personally in order to achieve orgasm. and may be, just may be you will like me enough that you'd wanna hang out with me, having me treat you like a Lady at all times and have other men satisfy the other side of you and the other side of me... May be you and I both have our cakes and get to eat it too this summer.
Just may be, this one will not turn into one of those relationship I described at first. But, may be it will be something we couldn't even imagine a year ago.
Just may be... |
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so excited to take the next step in my training in a cpl of hrs. |
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Why oh why am I attracted to control? When I know being controlled turns me on more than anything else? When I am in control I know the next step, next hundred steps. When I have no control of the situation every step is an exciting one.
Yet, I am so afraid to give up control. Why can't I take a step? Why am I chicken shit? I have been losing people who know who I really am one by one. I know they are the ones who really care about me. Because they are the ones who truly know me and accept me for who I am although society may turn a cold shoulder to me. They encourage me, they move me step by step closer to the edge... However, I am still afraid to take the plunge... Once I give up control, is it going to be all or nothing deal? Is it going to be a free fall till I realize I've made the biggest mistake of my life? Yet, i can not turn back? Or is it something that I am going to beat myself for not taking the plunge earlier? Who is going to lead me thru my leash thru the unknown? Who knows what's on the other side when it is different experience for every individual? I feel closer to the point of no return... I give away too much info to stranger and friends alike whom I am desperate for them to use against my disadvantage(!) may be a I am waiting for someone to push me over the edge. |
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After three weeks of abstinence, I seriously think; do I deserve an orgasm without the consent of my Owner? It is more exciting to hold back than simply masturbate. What's the point of masturbation any way? Release? Release of? Tension? Tension makes me excited... Thinking what I will have to do in order to be granted an orgasm.
And the time I stay absent, will I get rewarded for it?
Submissive mind works in different ways. |
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It feels incredibly attractive to be helplessly controlled.
It is a craving neither my body nor my mind can deny.
Obey, respect and love. |
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Boy, family is in town till birthdate. Yeah Scorpio baby... I might as well put the chastity back on as I won't be seeing much action for awhile :-( |
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Well I know I'm an emotional wreck inside. That's no surprise. I feel that I'm
this pathetic low life inside but I can't live to be one
Because I feel the need to hide it deep inside and show my strong cover as I am
afraid of the society's response to my pathetic needs
My strong cover is just a cover. I'm not strong inside. If I was strong mentally
and emotionally, I'd take the giant leap and live my life happily ever after as
a cuckolded, degraded, humiliated slave/hubby
P.s. I wrote this as a msg to one of the few people who'd understand and it made quite sense. So I decided to share. |
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What a change 12 hrs make...
After 2 hrs of delay due to lightning and stormy weather I made it into her town only to see my beautiful Empress waiting me in a micro blk dress with a zipper in the front and high heels. She greeted me with a big wet kiss and a hug. It didn't take more than a few minutes for her phone to ring. I asked Her who it was and big mistake, it's a fark buddy of mine, alright? Leave me alone! I retrieved my luggage and waited for Her to finish Her call. The we took a cab and Her dress was so short, basically I had to tell the cabby to turn around so he could drive. I checked in my hotel and She seduced me testing me whether I am going to make love to Her. I declined and past the test. After making out for what seemed like an eternity we went down to the hotel bar to get something to eat... That's when Her bf(!) arrived on cue. She greeted him with a big set kiss like She greeted me at the airport. As soon as he sat next to Her, his hand went down in between Her legs. After small talk he asked me whether I wanna walk in on Her getting fucked... I gulped down my drink and said, I would very much like that. So, they left and I ordered one more drink... The waitress had a puzzled look that She came with me hand in hand, flirting and all and yet about an hr later She left with another guy, again hand in hand...
I went up to the room about 15mins later and there was no sound coming from inside, so I figured I'd give them some more privacy and killed another ten minutes. When I came by the next time. The distinct sound of her moans and screams were clearly heard from outside the door. I gulped down again pushe the lkey and proceeded inside. There it was in front of me on her knees at the edge of the bed, facing me was my love, except for the lingerie, She was taking this strange man's cock from behind. When I walked in he whispered in Her ear and pulled Her hair back so She could see me standing at the door step, all frozen before the view in front of me... He drove in hard and deep making Her scream with pleasure... She told him Shhe couldn't take it anymore and again like on a cue, he came... Before he left Empress told him to leave his gift, and he answered oh the used condom, right? After he left I dove in and licked Her freshly fucked pussy which tasted so delicious. Now She is sound asleep and ordered me to put in this journal entry before cuddle up with Her. Truly a life changing turn of events. |
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Fnally about to board the plane that will take me to my Empress. What a whirlwind of events in the past cpl of months that made me come so close to the best thing that happened to me in my life. The anticipation of the future is making my heart work double shift. As a person who was afraid of marriage after my brother's horrific experience. I can't believe I am openly making plans for my wedding. Everything is happening all too soon yet I can't slow myself down to take a breath. It seems like what I have been missing all my life is on the other side of the field and pointing Her index finger and calling me to Herself. Why walk? I am running to Her. She is so clever. What better place to be get married but US Virgin islands? Her beauty in white bikini, I am in white shirt and shorts. Our bull is one of the witnesses, now the quest is to find the other witness who will either join in the fun after the wedding or respect our decisions. What amazes me is W/we already know who the bull/witness is going to be. He is this dominant controlling guy who already is witnessing O/our progress in relationship. He is going to witness U/us walk to the altar and become Wife and man, then break U/us down as wife and slave and help rebuild U/us as a couple. I am sure there will be further ceremonies in several countries as W/we have quite an extensive back ground. But, the initial ceremony will be the one to die for. I would be lying if I say I am not scared. I admit I am... But I can't continue to live my life as a scared being. I'd rather be Her confident slave, Her love, Her everything and contribute to Her fun in and out of the bedroom... Time for the flight... |
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the roller coaster ride continues...
one of these days i am going to take a step and there will be no turning back. |
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The numbered days are gone by and I am about to meet my future Hotwife finally. The beginning was a rough ride, esp for me. She couldn't be bothered as She was busy sorting thru fan/hate mail. And as it turns out, my back ground is the type She hates the most for personal reasons. However my persuasion had paid off and She started returning my mail with ever more frequency. Just after two mos, W/we already are addicted to each other. She did try push me away so many times. But what I felt like She was trying to get rid off me was actually Her building blocks of the limits She expected from a cuckold relationship. luckily for me, those don't happen to be beyond my hard limits. Though, I appreciated when I stated a hard limit for extreme pain and blood She promised She'll honor my limit.
One of the things She expected from a special relationship is that W/we hold ourselves back from sex till the wedding. This may be the hardest part to endure about a cuckold relationship. Esp hard when You have the sexiest fianc?dressing to cause car crashes on the street and when it comes to seduction, She is the master guru. But of course I will honor Her request and it will show not only us but our families that we are a match made in heaven -or hell-. Of course what better way to crown such a wedding by having a favorite bf, or fb, or a bull of Empress' to consummate our union.
We actually had a talk about it this morning. Heck, like it's the first time we talked about it, lol. But that's for next journal entry. My cousin is leaving today so busy day ahead... Next entry will be on our thoughts about how our wedding may unfold. |
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I am out again entertaining my cousin who is visiting. Btw, it's getting to be a long visit.
I am still texting back and forth with the Empress... In the middle of the night She starts texting me an erotic story about what She is going to do to me... Wtf? I am out with my cousin and caged. But I loved every single text. I think She is teaching me to get excited without being able to get an erection. I can't believe how pathetic I can be. But I am incapable of walking away from Her. Yes, I am ready to endure chastity while She takes on other lovers, or even seduces me. Because She is equally turned on by frustrating and degrading me as i am turned on with my own humiliation and frustration.
Aside from the fantasy of jerking off to hot scenes of cuckolding women, the reality of cuckold relationship is that it's all about Her. I am here to make Her life easier, more comfortable and more enjoyable for Her. After all, I am just a lucky dog to be part of Her amazing life. Thank You Empress. |
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I walked around town almost all day, took my cousin to central park, right on the corner of 5th ave and 59th street there is an apple store and we checked the prices for him and I shamelessly checked my CM mail there. -I had ran out of battery earlier due to nonstop texting and fathers day calls- and I saw that the degrading msgs finally ended. I was walking around and blowing off steam but my mind was dizzy. She taught me the first lesson of cuckolding and actually becoming part of Her life;
The physical excitement and satisfaction was for Her and Her only. The reason She was sharing the intimate details with me was to provide mental satisfaction for me. But the weak, wannabe cuckold me acting on pure physical needs could not realize the mental aspect and the joy that came from it a few days ago. But today was different, She was in my mind, Her pics, Her moans, Her wanton style. She shocked me with a lewd photo and stunned me dead on my tracks... I got a high from it so hit, I thought I was over the rainbow. Who cares for wanking anymore? Because I know full well when She chooses to provide me the privillage of shooting loads of saved cum down Her throat, She is going to make stars fly around my head. However until then, physical satisfaction was for Her only. She continued to fuck with my head. I realized in a way She was passing down the humiliation of such an act. The society taught Her it is degrading to fuck more than one guy. She was taught to marry one guy and be his for the rest of Her life. But she became addicted to cock at an early age. She sure wasn't giving up on it. But at every chance She was reminded how wrong and humiliating for a woman to become a cock whore.
By finding accuckoldvhusband, She was pushing the humiliation down to me. "he is my husband, he says it's ok, so wtf do you care?" however I enjoy such humiliation at a different level. The more degrading She is to me, the higher I get. Finally today I realized, I do not need physical satisfaction in order to find my nirvana.
I am so happy that finally Empress and I are becoming O/one. Today, the little man has left my body and left the cuckold alone. This was the first brick in the foundation. I am sure soon, I will learn all Her needs, desires and anticipate them ahead of time in order to mold myself into Her life in perfect combination. From now on its all about Her pleasure. And when She sees fit, my physical needs will be satisfied like never before. But the mental orgasm is far more stronger than a five minute wanking session. It is beyond this world. Thank You Empress for working with me teaching me how You wish to be please after now many times I fucked up. But this first part is going to be learning process that will for me to perfect Your choice of lifestyle. |
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Since when did I start keeping a journal? I guess I want to make a record of my transformation. Being a cuckold is no longer a fantasy. It is quickly becoming a reality. And the reality is far different than the fantasy I had played in my mind a million times. A million ways to masturbate. However the reality is not about wasted cum. Not even a bulls cum is wasted. It finds it's way to me in a ziplock bag wrapped up in a doggy bag... But my cum belongs to my Owner now. How dare do I waste it? The realization did not come easy. First She told me She's going to have friend over. Then She told me She was going to make him call me to humiliate me. Then the dreaded call came in. In the middle of the work day. I was shocked, I could hear Her moaning in the back ground. Did I really love Her that much that my heart sank? What did he say? Oh yes, he was asking a question. What was I wearing? Wtf? I was wearing work clothes but obviously he was naked with my Lady. I couldn't help but found a secluded spot in the warehouse and started wanking inside my jeans. I didn't know what I was thinking. I thought the more humiliating it was, the more happy my Empress would be. Bad judgement! She was pissed! What for? How could I be so dumb? Then the picture arrived. The bastard took a pic of his dick in my Lady's mouth. She was giving him a bj. That first pic of Her in action will never leave my mind. And it didn't, the next morning I jerked off twice thinking of that pic and Her moans. That was even bigger mistake. The cage was back on before the end of the day. The Empress condemn me for my lack of self control. Which She was right. How could I be so weak?
That night She was out with mr nice guy and spent the night with him. The next morning Her friend and She went to Denny's and I am trying to find a way to win Her heart but I can tell She is cold towards me. But She did send me an all natural face pic which made Her look so innocent and childish, it is hard to imagine how cruel She can be. So, I take a nude pic of me with my cage and send Her and all I receive back is verbal humiliation. I took shower and came out and there was a picture msg on my phone. I was thinking She must be ready to make up, kept sending me nice pics of Her showing Her true self. I opened the image and Oh my God! There is yet another cock and half of it has disappeared in Her mouth. I could feel my heart sank in my body. My knees got weak, my penis twitching in its cage. I couldn't move but stare into how beautiful, and happy She looked in the pic. There were also several abusive msgs accompanied the pic, telling me how pathetic I was sending Her a pic of my in chastity cage while She was making plans to hook up with a FB. My heart sank deeper. She was right. I was a pathetic wanker. While I thought I was making Her happy, She was out looking for real men to make Her happy. The thought of it still in my heart, I can feel my heart beats. This is the reality of a cuckold. I dried myself up, my dick shrank further into its cage. My steel cage was dangling in between my legs held in place with my balls. The lock on my cage was making clingy noise by hitting the cage every time I took a step walking around town. The verbal abuse continued, urging me to take off my cage and masturbate. I couldn't. I just couldn't. I sat down to eat breakfast, and when I got up I had a leak on the inside of my leg. How pathetic? Her best friend and She was fucking this guys brains out while I was leaking with the realization of being a true cuckold. It was no longer jerk off material. I was fast becoming a real cuckold. |
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A text war, and an argument over them while she is out with her lover is not a good idea. She has been abusing me verbally in front of her girl friends all day and letting them abuse me as well. The reason? I couldn't help but jerk off twice to the pic of her giving a guy bj the day before. I never knew how weak could I be. As a result my chastity cage is back on and the non stop verbal abuse continued all day. I keep quiet and thank her and her friend for humiliating me and confess that I actually am turned on by the abuse. I am sure she was well aware of the fact but now her BFF knows how pathetic I am too. She was out having dinner with her friends while I was home entertaining my cousin who is in town. I woke up in the middle of the night to send her a love message to make peace. I guess she was thinking of me at the same time and text me with the usual verbal abuse and informing me that she had hooked up with 'the nice guy' she's been flirting with for awhile. She text me in his bed with his arm around her while he is asleep. Obviously her anger over my lack of self control hasn't ceased. The thing about 'the nice guy' is that supposedly he is my competition compared to her FBs he is nice, well behaved marriage material but incapable of seeing beyond one on one type of relationship. So I asked her why she text me in his bed? To rub it in ? Obviously she's been thinking of me. She may get her physical needs satisfied by other men. However only a true cuckold like me is capable of satisfying her dire need of mental satisfaction.
I don't know why. I am not a psychologist, but may be somewhere along the line she hates men in general and taking revenge from one man, me. But at the same time she got addicted to cock. I know she use other men just for sex and if she could she would fuck more than 365 men a year. But she is a woman, she is a lady and she is my princess, I know she needs love just like any other woman. I am here to suffer for her pleasure but I am not going to give up on loving her.
Enjoy your weekend with mr nice guy, Empress. You know I love You and waiting home patiently. |
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I can picture Her teasing me all naked and rubbing the head of my cock against Her moist pussy. I beg Her to please stop. I may even cry pathetically for being so close yet not diving right in. But I promised Her to keep of sex till Her favorite lover consummates O/our marriage. Even after that I don't know how often I will get to make love to Her. But She says I would be no different than Her lovers if I engage in sex with Her randomly. I want to make this relationship special. Not just another wham bam thank You ma'am. Lucky for me, I am allowed to perform oral sex and worship Her holy temple of the most gorgeous body. Of course She is free to have all the sex She can handle before and after O/our wedding. And She is going to return the favor by giving me random blowjobs, Her deep throat skills drives me crazy. She also told me I can have as many docks as I wish since She does not see other men as competition. But I am not a male whore. Even if I let any man fuck me. It's far and in between. May be once in every six mos the itch strikes. Lucky for me, She wants to be present and add to my humiliation for enjoying cock in front of my Fianc? Wife. She is so turned on that She actually prefers bisexual bulls, fark buddies, lovers. Can this get any better? Well may be it can, once She says "I do," |
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I feel like I am slowly falling into Her web. Is it me seducing Her to my fantasy to make it reality? Or is it She who is seducing me to Her fantasy cuckold to make me a slave in reality? I don't know what it is but losing control one step at a time feels empowering. Now Her friends know and I know they will mock me when we get to meet. I feel helpless to accept Her Dominant role in O/our relationship. I am becoming a 'yes Ma'am!' dog. |
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good things happen to those who wait. |
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it is not going to be easy.
and it is going to be long.
but i am going to do whatever it takes.
destiny is calling. |
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all of a sudden there is hope...
a D/s ltr may be possible after all... |
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the frustration continues for being a submissive with no key holder. |
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| Age: 24 |
| Dixon,
Illinois |
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