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Male Dominant, 58, Roselle, Illinois
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Male Submissive, 31
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Male Submissive, 44, Grand Junction, Colorado
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About like2bfree
High independent, adventurous man seeking an intense, passionate, monogamous, loving relationship. I am someone who believes that life is about relationships and experiences. I try to explore as much as I can, and I would like to share my experiences with someone. I have a great life, but those experiences are even better if shared.
I am here because I embrace my sexuality, and hope to find someone else who embraces hers. I am very sensual and have one kinky imagination. I believe a couple needs to explore all their fantasies together, and both sides must have their needs and desires met. In past relationships, I have introduced previous partners to BDSM. The key is to go slowly, just as trust builds up. There is no need to rush things. I do not have a set of specifications of what a relationship with me would be like. It depends on me, you, and how we connect.
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This is an excerpt from an email exchange I had with a submissive on who was asking me about my view of mixing pleasure and pain, where pain is actually pleasurable.
Remember that pain and pleasure are just in the mind. Think of a massage that feels so good. Now think of one where they increase the pressure to the point that it really hurts. The same nerves are telling your brain what is going on. It is the intensity of the signal to tell your brain how much stimulation your body is receiving.
So a tap on your pussy might feel really good, but a slap doesn't. Mixing in pleasure (light taps, cunnilingus) with pain (harder slaps) combined with deep breaths are ways to train your mind to interpret stronger sensations as pleasurable.
It takes time to do this, but stronger sensations can lead to stronger orgasms, and a stronger connection. |
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I'd like to discuss my view of safewords. I am a strong believe in them. People often use red, yellow, green for pain tolerances, but I like to use those colors slightly differently. I like to use yellow as "stop for a moment, and I will say green when I can handle it". Green obviously means "go". Red is a little bit different. It means "stop what you are doing all together" as it could indicate that a line has been crossed. I've never had a sub use red on me, and I can usually predict when a sub says yellow as I generally am in tune with what my sub is feeling. I've been told that my facial expressions reflect what she is feeling, and that has always been appreciated. I do believe that if "red" is used, then I screwed up. Fortunately that has never happened and I believe will never happen. |
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