leslienaturally

For some of us, who the younger crowd call "old fashioned" and "boring", we both recognize, and constantly remember, that we learned about BDSM prior to the internet age (in what the majority of My group would refer to as "Old School BDSM").  We learned about the lifestyle in person at an actual dungeon first, at meet and greets ("munches"), from someone who we knew well or was related to us, or from others we exchanged correspondence with, and then met in person.  Many of us had the pleasure of getting the full shock value (NO, I am not talking about the shock from a shock collar, which is commonly used for training dogs to obey commands and observe boundaries) when, for the first time, we were put into bondage, or had our first experience with crops, canes, and paddles.  Generally this did not happen until we had enough information in writing from the other party, and had spoken to them directly, either on the telephone, or in person.  In the "Old School" age, the ability to be honest was treasured by Superior men and women, and even more highly prized by submissives and slaves, especially when that honesty was consistently present from the very beginning.  Honesty between the two persons enabled their interactions, and in many cases, their relationship, to begin with full disclosure.

"Full disclosure" are two words, which form a single term (Full disclosure, definition [finance and investment] noun:  "In general, the requirement to disclose all material facts related to a transaction".  The term today also is used in computer security, and in journalism.  The origin is traced back to the Latin term used by most Roman merchants of "caveat emptor", or "let the buyer beware", signifying that the purchaser has been made aware of any defects before the sale"), that has been used by politicians ever since political systems were created.  We rely upon those people that we do business with to always be completely honest.  Honesty is one of the most important factors when it comes to being able to say that the integrity (the best definition for integrity is this one in reference to the world of BDSM:  integrity, noun, definition:  "firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values") of a relationship is uncompromised, and that the relationship holds true to the adage that honesty always delivers truth along with it wherever it exists.

With the arrival of the internet to the masses in the early 1980s, something different began to happen with those who saw the research tool as more than just a way to locate merchandise, housing, government resources, but to also leverage the tool as a means to establish relationships with others.  I noticed that the lifestyle began to diversify into what I would consider to be two separate and distinct categories:  real life, and "virtual".  As our society began to embrace this new technology, suddenly people, who had never been exposed to the BDSM lifestyle, were seeing images and words that represented different aspects of it.  Suddenly, a homemaker in rural South Dakota or a mechanic in Anniston, Alabama, were able to be magically transported into the living quarters of people both hundreds and thousands of miles away.  Even those in countries outside the US were able to connect with persons in the US, and suddenly, without warning, the era of "online Mistresses and Masters" had begun in all of its electronic glory.

I began to see many personal ads advertising "online domination", "online slave seeks Mistress", and many other categories of the lifestyle that had everything in common with the lifestyle, with one major exception:  there was no physical contact whatsoever between the participants.  As even I came to learn, distance relationships have no ability to sustain themselves the great majority of the time.  There is no contact with human flesh, and no humanity, for the time when I was apart from those who lived a great distance from Myself.  As I became to truly abhor this change, I started to find it more and more difficult to actually make direct contact with My peers within the lifestyle.  Yes, I went to munches, but there were fewer and fewer participants in the dungeons.  While I have no way to quantify whether, in fact, the internet itself was playing a part in this, I still managed to wade through the volume of novices and non-participants to not only establish and keep committed relationships where BDSM was practiced, I even was able to actually enter into three marriages with people of a like mind, while all of this was transpiring right before My very eyes.

In 2013, most "Old School" practitioners of the lifestyle no longer trust the information that they receive through the internet about other people.  We use webcams and camera phones to verify the identity of people we interact with, and we still use the "in-person" method to establish and solidify our relationships, as well as negotiate the details of any new relationship that we establish.  And so, with the reduction in trust, some predators began to completely misrepresent themselves, and to go to any length necessary, solely to mislead another person.  These deceptions now permeate the lifestyle and are a part of the daily lives of literally hundreds of thousands of people around the world.

I thought about this matter for a long time, and I believe that I have to come to the conclusion that it is up to Me to be responsible for My actions, and be 100% honest in all of My personal dealings with others like Me in the lifestyle.  My quick way to determine whether I am talking to a male or female is to use voice communication methods, like the telephone and internet voice applications, as verification of voice.  I use live video technologies, like Skype and others, to verify the appearance of the other party.  However, even all of this great technology cannot replicate, by itself, one VERY important thing for Me:  the touch of a warm body against Mine.

While I can't control the actions of others, I can control My own, including making decisions about the viability of the relationship, and using schedules to ensure that commitments to responsibility are kept and adhered to, without excuses.  I considered how I could tell you what I look for most importantly from someone else, and I found Myself today, as well as most every day, turning to the lyrics of a song which was recorded by singer and songwriter Billy Joel.  The song is called "Honesty".  Here are those incredibly powerful lyrics (and what you need to remember about where My priorities are placed):

Honesty (Lyrics and Music composed by Billy Joel)

If you search for tenderness
It isn't hard to find
You can have the love you need to live
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind
It always seems to be so hard to give

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

I can always find someone
To say they sympathize
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve
But I don't want some pretty face
To tell me pretty lies
All I want is someone to believe

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you

I can find a lover
I can find a friend
I can have security
Until the bitter end
Anyone can comfort me
With promises again
I know, I know

When I'm deep inside of me
Don't be too concerned
I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone
But when I want sincerity
Tell me where else can I turn
Cause you're the one that I depend upon

Honesty is such a lonely word
Everyone is so untrue
Honesty is hardly ever heard
And mostly what I need from you 
If I have to demand anything from a prospective submissive, the very first demand is that person must be honest in every aspect of their interaction with Me.  It truly is "mostly what I need from you"...