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I am at this point a DO-ME sub. As a service sub/slave, I SUCK! :)
I have been a 24/7 slave in earlier parts of my life, and have wanted to return to that. But my experience with CM (and other venues) makes me believe that is not likely.
SO, I am looking for play partners in Southern California for extended, intense edgy sessions of submission, sexual use, abuse, TORTURE. I have few limits.
I'm a single, mature, experienced, submissive guy who has lived 24/7 slavery twice in his life, for a total of 10 years. Both situations were largely happy. The submission I now seek will be one with a very large component of harsh pain, humiliation, sexual use and abuse, which will stretch me to the limit.
I am comfortably retired, with vast technical and intellectual knowledge and skills. Out of the scene, I can be good fun and entertaining.
My preference is to submit to a female, a couple in which the female will have contol over me (not excluding any control the man may have), a man, or TV/TG.
In other words - gender is not the issue, CONTROL is the issue.
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One thing about me that is difficult when not in the slave mode: I LOVE TO BE CUCKOLDED.
This is one of the most submissive experiences - to prepare a woman for her date with sex and ?, to open the door for her date and serve him a drink while he waits for her, making it clear to him that I am only here to be of service, to see them out with best wishes for a wonderful evening (or whatever), to await her return so that I might help her get ready for the end of her day, putting away her clothing, etc.
...unless of course she brings the man back and they enjoy each other while I await whatever she orders - drink, food, condoms, whips and chains, etc. Perhaps if I am fortunate she chains me in the bedroom to watch as my Mistress gives to this man what I may never have, humiliated and loving being so humiliated. Perhaps she has me clean them with my mouth, or wash them after sex. Or she may have me get him hard with my mouth, or even have me submit to him sexually or otherwise...
there are SO MANY VARIATIONS!!! |
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I came back to visit today. I found the format changed, probably for the better. I don't know that anything else has changed.
Maybe I will come back again and see if there is anyone local to San Diego who interests me, and is interested in me as a sub plaything.
I know I truly need to be taken and put in my place - whatever that is. I doubt that I can be a useful service slave right now, so that leaves me as an available painslut/torture-victim....
That's not so bad from my view: I LOVE being helpless and being taken to the edge...and just over; I LOVE being used sexually without my own release; I LOVE being cuckolded; I LOVE serving as the lowest of a group of sluts, and being required to service anyone/everyone.
But what is the likelihood of this coming true again? I'll come back and see.
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A thought has come to me. I describe myself as a painslut, but I think that requires modification.
I think that I should call myself a 'submission-slut'. The hours I spend under the control (which does not necessarily mean restrained - save by the force of personality) of an Other, no matter what happens, are the most ennobling times of my life. It truly is a religious experience to give up control and one I cherish and want to experience every day, every moment.
That it usually involves PAIN is not the most important thing, though that is certainly something I look forward to with the most humble anxiety and anticipation; that I will suffer with no self-control, terrifies me and stimulates me all the more.
But the hours spent simply serving, again with no self-control (for I surely would not run), doing whatever that Other requires, undergoing whatever that other requires - those hours are what submission is about to me.
If it only could be every day, every hour!
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I have a dream...and it is of slavery.
A particular scenario: I am taken by an Owner, and she decides to take me on a motor trip around North America in a motor home (fitted out, of course, as a traveling torture chamber as well as a living/working place).
In each city we visit, we meet local Dommes, where my Owner requires me to serve the Domme we are visiting (perhaps exchanging for that Domme's slave, or that slave and I serve together). Each night I am subjected to a new and different milieu of slavery, a new set of rules, a new way of being of service, a new set of tortures. And then we move on to another...and another.
Perhaps it is nothing more than a dream.
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Some comments on a month's experience with CollarMe.com.
First. I have found the Dommes I have written to uniformly rude and unpleasant. Now, I HAVE generally written to those who indicate that they practice a harsh slavery, which is what I seek. But I don't think being called a 'worm' because I did not include a life history with photographs, when the Mistress did not request one in her self-description, is sensible; for her to go on and on about how I wasted her time by a brief but informative initial e-mail is just plain silly. I've no doubt that had I initially sent her all that she wanted, I would have been taken to task for wasting her time.
Second. A Domme, on the basis of THREE e-mails in which there was no real indication of true mutual interest, demanded my Social Security number (for police and credit checks), copy of driver's license, health records and reports, school records, work records, etc. No, I didn't, and I wouldn't; identity theft is one of the largest crimes in the nation. Though she writes a lot on this site, and claims vast history and experience, I wouldn't believe a word after that, and find her dangerous.
Third. I am well aware of how many responses every Domme receives. But it is not expecting too much for a Domme to respond to a well-written, individual e-mail from someone she is not interested in to simply send back a "Thanks but no thanks" response. Maybe I'm old fashioned - but politeness is not a sign of deficiency in domination.
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| Age: 99 |
| Las vegas,
Nevada |
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