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About LeBlueDude
I have a very strong personality and mind, as
well as a strong sense of self, but deep down inside I want to be swept
off of my feet.
I'm looking for a dom who will is loving and caring, who will learn
my limits and strive to carefully, constructively, push me beyond them.
I'm looking for a person who while I normally would not consider
subsuming my will to anyone, I could develop such a deep bond of love
and trust with them that I would do anything they ordered.
I want a person who I'm willing to let hurt me, because I know that
they will build me up from the pain, and make me stronger and better.
I'd like a person who will comfort me when I need comfort, and care
for me, to such an extent that I feel the only way to properly
reciprocate is complete and total subserviance.
If you can earn my trust (Which is NOT an easy task, if you're looking for easy sex go elsewhere) you'll find that I'll be willing to do almost anything for you that won't kill me or you.
Some people who have earned my trust have lost it again later, for
example a 'friend' of mine who asked for a few of my pills.
This happened when I was much younger, and much more foolish. Looking back on it, I know it was stupid, but at the time... well... you'll see the stupid mistake I made.
I take
Adaral XR 30mg a day. I was young and stupid. I handed her two pills so
she could 'study for a test'. She had told me that she was ADD, as well, but that the meds were too expensive for her to afford.
I made her promise not to take them both at once, because if she
took both at once, because her body weight was less then half mine, it
would have hurt her badly.
I was willing to do this because I had trusted her. See this was the
closest thing I had to a domme sub relationship at the time, though I
didn't realize it at the time. I was probably even a little in love
with her.
Well that went fine and a month later she asked for two more. A
month after that two more again. About two weeks later she asked for
three.
I don't know exactly what happened, but around that time she either
took too many of my pills, or mixed too many other drugs with them and
had a heart attack. She wound up in the hospital. She had nearly died
because of them, and then started begging me for more. I didn't give
them to her. She had lost my trust.She eventually stopped calling me, stopped asking for my medication, and disappeared from my life. I like to think she cleaned herself up. To this day I wish I hadn't given her the pills in the first place.To this day I wonder if, by giving her my pills, I enabled her addiction to more powerful drugs. I wonder if I had been smart enough to say "no", if maybe the relationship with her could have developed into something more.
So yeah. No asking for my meds. It's O.K. to ask me to stop taking them, but you probably won't like who I am when I'm not on them, all my my worst traits are multiplied several times when I'm not on them.
Still if you can put up with me like that, or think you can, go ahead and ask me to stop. I hate being on the pills, they make my mind itch. I only take them because the people around me assure me that I am more tolerable to be around when I'm on them.
They're not for depression, they can cause depression. They're not for my health, there's even odds that they'll eventually be what kills me when I get older. They're so that the waking world and the world of sleep and dreams don't bleed into each other.
That being said, I like reading, I like writing, I enjoy creative pursuits, and I like deliciously hedonistic things... like comfortable socks.
I'm a physics math double major, and I want to be the poster child of 'why can't we all get along' but I tend to annoy people too much to be able to pull it off.
I have a great deal of respect for people like mother Teressa and Mahatma Gandhi.
My hard limits are mostly based off of incompatable idologies. Namely I don't do 'scientology'. I don't do 'women in general are better then men'. I don't do 'men in general are better then women'.
I have a high pain threshold but a low pain tolerance. I am willing to let you help me with that.
I want to have children, eventually, and I want to be involved in raising them... If I have to I'm willing to adopt, but I'd rather they be related to me. Further I can live without ever having children, if I have to.
I'm sure there's more to say, but off the top of my head I can't come up with it. I'll edit in more later.
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I dislike weekends. Most people like weekends, and I can understand that. They're a welcome break from the stresses of the week to most people.
Me? Well, on the weekends I don't have anyone to interact with, so I sorta... vanish off of the face of the world for two days. I mostly sleep. Also, I never notice if I'm sick or injured on week days. I always notice on weekends.
Peace |
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Ugh....
O.K, if you message me PLEASE read my profile. I don't submit unless the other person has proven they are worthy of my trust. I am not wet clay to be molded, I am dry clay that needs to be moistened with trust.
The way you can prove you are worthy of my trust is easy... be a friend. Life isn't 100% about sex 100% of the time. I don't want to be a submissive to someone who has nothing in common with me what so ever. I don't want to be a submissive to someone who wants to use me and ignore my emotions either.
I want someone I can trust. I'll do anything for someone I trust, I'll do next to nothing for someone I do not trust.
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Gah. I'm so sleepy... I'll get more done on this (bland so far) profile later, like tomorow. Depending on how badly my college courses overwhelm me
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