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| Male Dom from the South Orange County area, 51 yrs young, strong, responsible, confident, 6 feet, 205lbs. I love travel, the outdoors, BDSM, sex, work, music, kids and animals. Non-smoker, non-drinker. Don't use dope.
I am finishing a vanilla divorce, have 3 grown kids, am self employed and own a mainstream marketing company and an adult paysite company.
I'm interested in the intensity, intimacy, and clearly defined roles d/s relationships bring. I am strict but compassionate. I love to make it hurt so good. I push the envelope but always respect limits. I love to experiment and enjoy the creativity/artistry of play.
First meetings are always in a safe, public venue for a relaxed conversation about common interests.
I am looking for a submissive woman to train and protect. I am not a wanna-be dom, and although I'm fairly new, I am under personal training by Mistress Chrystal Rain, regularly attend brunches and discussion groups, regularly attend learning workshops, study all I can find about the lifestyle and have regular subs I am training.
I understand the supreme importance of trust and respect in any d/s relationship. A wanna-be dom is turned on about the idea of finding submissive girls to serve them and have sex with, and to hurt. He/she often invites a new sub to dinner and demands that he/she assume the role at their first meeting. A wanna-be dom does not understand the supreme importance of a sub's trust, and this trust is earned, not awarded. A wanna-be dom has not the experience or respect of others in the lifestyle because he/she is not serious enough to invest the time, energy and heart in attend bdsm functions and receive training.
My role as a dom is to provide a safe, fun and learning experience to you and your role as a sub is to humbly understand and accept your submissive role and how it relates to your dom. Trust comes with time, as the relationship builds. The result is a deeper understanding of self, a feeling of safety and security, and a lot of fun!
Guys - I removed my cock pic because I only heard from guys who want to suck it. I love to get my cock sucked, but this is not what I am all about. If you can submit to another man with no expectation of pleasure on your part, write why you are interested and tell me about your experience. Only select few are considered. --------- begin ideal person ---------------
My Ideal Person:
Looking for submissives who are very serious about the lifestyle and interested in possibly developing a relationship. Must be very submissive or newbie to be trained. Women and possibly a few select men invited.
Age and appearance is not important, but one or more photos are required.
I enjoy highly erotic and sensual play. We will discuss both of our desires and limits before our first scene and only play if we reach mutual agreement. After mutual agreement is reached, only a safe word will save you from my discipline and demands. You will not dictate your desires. I am not a 'do-me' dom. You can tell me about them, but it is up to me how the scene is played.
I am strict but also compassionate, and always respect limits. Have fetish about clothing and bondage. Special interest in paddles, floggers, canes, clamps, rope and chain. Soon to acquire gear and training in violet wands.
I am real and are serious about the lifestyle and not just looking for a cyber quickie. You be real too. ------------ end ideal person --------------------------- begin topics profile ---------
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My First 'Sampler'
OCLA (Orange County Leather Assembly) holds a pan-sexual BDSM event every year. It is limited to about 70 attendees and is a great way to 'sample' aspects of BDSM you may not have tried before by working one-on-one with some of the nation's most respected Masters and instructors.
It was held in Palm Springs this year, on a weekend in October, and was an indescribably wonderful experience for me.
I learned about Master/Slave relationships from Master Jack Rinella, professor, lecturer, author of six books on BDSM and Master of a 19yr relationship with his slave, Patrick. One of his gems was the way he described BDSM relationships. He said that the labels are fine (D/S, M/S, Daddy/Boy, etc), but the most important thing is that every relationship is defined by the people involved, not by anyone else. He also suggests that the terms of all relationships be written down because paper and ink never forget, but humans do.
Jeff Cooper, American Leatherman 2001, was one of the flogging instructors and I took training and my first flogging from him. What an experience. He started with a heavy flogger (something he calls a 'mop'). It felt like a deep massage on my back. He changed to harder floggers with fewer tails as he continued and raised the pain level. I always said I don't like pain, and still don't like 'bad' pain like stubbing my toe, but this gave me a good understanding of erotic pain. And a better understanding of how to use a flogger. Jeff sure knows what he's doing!
I like to slap my subs sometimes, especially to humiliate, so I signed up for Adam Lathsn's one-on-one for Punching and Slapping. Did you know there is a good way and a bad way to slap? Neither did I! Slapping can be dangerous around the ear, jaw, teeth or neck, but cupping the hand and holding it vertical can make this type of erotic pain safer. Punching is another thing. I think it's mainly between two men because of the forces involved, and Adam said he's broken ribs when he an another dom get carried away! Sounds like fun. To watch, that is!
LR Smithline (aka Uncle Chuck) travels the country to speak at various BDSM events and is an expert at paddling. As I entered his room for our one-on-one his bed was covered with different kinds of paddles, canes and switches. He prefers to paddle buns laying over his lap, while I prefer my sub to bend over a piece of furniture so I can get a better swing! I brought in a young Boy (Jake) for my sub on this one and we all had a blast! LR explained the differences of the various paddles and materials they are made from, as well as safety issues to be aware of. Jake was a great sport, and said he really enjoyed it, even on the next day when he still felt the warmth from the marks that lasted a couple of days. Nice.
This was all happening on Saturday. I was fortunate to have some private conversations and a one-on-one with Fluffy that night. Fluffy has been in the lifestyle for 38 years and travels the country with LR and speaks about BDSM at colleges and BDSM events. She has experienced the lifestyle from many sides, and has an amazing amount of insight to give. I truly valued my time with her and hope we will see each other again soon.
On Sunday, Slave Debbie held a group workshop by the pool and talked about the various roles played within the BDSM community. It was great hearing from old-timers and new-comers alike and seeing again that this is a creative lifestyle, not a rigid one with fixed rules from some book. And again, each relationship is defined by the people within the relationship.
Before lunch I 'sampled' something I never thought I was interested in - urethal sounds. Jesse Duran, Southern California LeatherWoman 2005, was my instructor and I invited Madaam Diana, matriarch of Threshold dungeon to do the actual sounding. The scene in Jesse's room was about as erotic as I could imagine. Between listening to Ms Diana's hot, nasty commentary while being watched by three sexy looking lesbians was a real turn on for me! Unfortunately my cock must not have felt the same way because he just wouldn't get hard. Fuck! It didn't do much for me, but my mind and nervousness was probably in the way. I'll have to try it again.
After lunch, Adam Latham taught me about the various types of single tail whips and how to use them. I could tell that this requires lots of practice and training. It's much more difficult than throwing a flogger. But amazingly effective when you know what you're doing. I'm in the middle of making my first quirt, which is like a single tail whip, but with two tails instead of one.
Dimitri, Ms Cynthia's slave/husband, showed me a new way to make a rope body harness. I've always used knots, but they are uncomfortable for extended wear, and his technique avoided knots. Thanks, Dimitri!
The final one-on-one was with Ms Cynthia, Chairperson of The Leather Leadership Conference, author, lecturer, and body-artist extrordinare. I have an interest in body branding after reading The Story of O, and went to her to check it out. Little did I know at the time that I would be the one being branded! As I entered her room another guy was leaving and I saw this cool design on his back. He said Cynthia had just branded him, and it lit a spark inside me. She explained all about it and showed some art samples she would create a brand with. I loved the crouching, crawling panther and she did too, saying it's 'YOU!'
Then I thought to myself, okay, you're here to sample. And you should know what it feels like when someday you develop a slave that deserves to be branded. So I did. God, it hurt! But using the breathing exercises she taught me it was very tolerable. I was proud of my ability to withstand the pain.
Then something strange happened about half of the way through. I asked her to pause. I took a drink of water. And realized I was floating. OH! So THAT'S what an endorphine rush is like! What an incredible feeling. I'm happy and proud to have it done. You can see some pics in one of my albums if you are part of my network. If you're not, just ask. I'll invite you.
I met some wonderful and inspiring people at Sampler, and hope many of them become life-long friends. Like Jeffrey, LR, Fluffy, and Bo; the presenters and staff. And Leonora and Morgana, two hot Dommes - from LA and St Louis, Dave and Jeannie - the couple I played with from San Luis Obispo (and hope to play with again soon!), and Jake - the sweet Boy from Long Beach who I hope to see again soon.
For those reading this, don't miss next year's Sampler. 2007 will be the 16th year for Sampler, and it will certainly be a great experience for the experienced and newby alike! |
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