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It has been quite a while since I have been on here, and I have to say that I have met several interesting people though here over the years. So I have decided to make an appearance once again.
In telling you a bit about myself, I will attest that I tend to keep my kinkster tendencies (we shall call them) as a private matter. I have made contact with larger and more established groups but have never ventured out to actually meet any of them..though the invitation has been extended on several occasions. I am not closed off completely to the idea of course. Namely because I realize that going it alone for so long on the "scene" has not only left me in a state of disconnect but has also closed me off from learning many new and interesting things. So there is definitely some wiggle room with me there :P
I of course have designated myself as a switch. I am primarily a dominant person who tends to have a lot of passion in the things that I undertake. In a top/bottom dynamic this means that I tend to expend a lot of physical, mental and psychological energy. Now although this is how I tend to naturally lean so to speak, it can understandably get exhausting. This, coupled with the fact that I have a soft spot for my masochistic side that rarely gets expressed or enjoyed, has led me to the place which now allows me in my mind to be ok with calling myself a SWITCH. Perhaps a more correct term would be, "a switch in waiting." If only I could convince my better half to smack me around a bit. (who is completely vanilla BTW :( )
I am a strong minded and passionate person, who is humble enough to know that we as people never stop learning.....my world will not come crashing down should I find myself in a situation where I was wrong or had made a mistake. I value each opportunity in my life as another piece of knowledge that I have been fortunate to obtain....even if it hurts for a while. This I feel has given me a rather healthy but well tempered ego.
I find myself to be pretty confident in most of my dealings but do proceed with caution at times, which is a pretty good indicator that I am out of my element.
I have been a kinky person since I was a child. It was not until I was in my early twenties though that I got my first taste at being able to act upon these impulses....with mixed results. Furthermore it was not until my early thirties that I really got to get my feet wet with a relationship that had strong fetish overtones. It was always a bit of an element in former relationships, but this was of course rather different altogether. Since then, I have moved on from this often wonderful existence with that sometimes wonderful person. I have found love again on several occasions, but I have never been able to get back to a true Un-vanilla interaction with another person.
Be well, and thank you for taking the time to get all the way down here to the bottom of the page. And may your own search bring you lots of lustful and carnal excitement.
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Ok, so I know that I have not been back on in a while, but I am going to try to commit to checking my messages atleast once a day.....boy scouts honor.(holds up his right hand, and darts his eyes away as he gives a little whistle....lol) |
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up and open to chat...drop a line. |
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I find that reading back upon my first 2 journal entries, I have done well in revealing a glimpse into my inner nature...any interested parties should perhaps take the time to look them over.
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HELP....SAVE ME FROM THE VANILLA!!!! |
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Oh it is so nice to finally make some friends that are into this sort of thing, and have so much to offer in thoughtful discussion. I love making friends, because I tend to be a bit of a hermit with all of the things going on in my life now.
I think that I prefer making female friends over the male ones though (not for the obvious reasons...you dog..lol) but because I tend to find women to be intellectually a lot more open minded and less driven by raging hormones then men. Guys tend to want to talk about conquests and fucking, not really my comfort zone. This is also not an indictment of all men, just a general observation based upon what I am noticing.
So, thank you to my new contacts...who I hope to mature into RT friendships. LOA, gotta love it. If you don't know what it is, then simply ask...most of you do though as i tend to be drawing that sort of crowd at the moment (no surprise).
Would love to get coffee some time with some of you folks! Professor Javas...bring a favorite book and grab a chair...I am buying!
Joy. |
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May have just had the proverbial JACKPOT land on my lap, the more that I get to know this person, the more amazed that I am about the way that life works. Perhaps finding an unsolicited need and an expressed desire being filled in the same decisive swoop. Even if only to make a friend, the parallels are still rather profound as I find myself humbled by the forces moving in my life right now.
Thank you for your time. |
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Sharing a story with a new friend recently, brought this little memory back to my mind, one which I share with you now.
Star, as she had come to be known when we played together, was already on her knees in my livingroom when I opened the door to my apartment, having myself just finished a long day from work. We had spoken earlier in the day and had made plans for the evening together. She had been given a set of tasks to perform to prepare for our evening as I was not available to do so.
Among these tasks, was to light all of the candles in the apartment and to turn off all of the lights in my home so to set the mood. Classical music was playing softly in the background from my stereo which she had put on a constant loop so that we would have some pleasant background noise for the entire duration of our evening together. Her body, was prepared by taking a shower then covering her self with perfumed oil so that her skin would glisten and shine under the soft candle light. Her hair was slicked back and tightly pulled into a pony tail and around her neck she wore the pink leather collar that we had bought together months earlier which included a shiny chrome dog tag which contained her name on one side and a line from our favorite poem on the back. She was instructed to wear no clothing until I had got home, but to instead, pick out her desired outfit and have it neatly folded and ready on the floor in front of where she would wait for me. Star then got settled in comfortably on her knees (on a small black leather pillow) and waited for me in my livingroom looking only at the floor in front of her.
When I arrived home, my eyes were offered a delightful sight of Star waiting in all her beauty as instructed. I walked over to her and gently touched her cheek then with the slightest of pressure lifted her chin with my finger so that her eyes now met mine. After showing her a brief but warm smile, I told her to stand which she did so promptly. I took a few moments to slowly walk around her, and inspect her. I reminded her once or twice to keep her eyes looking forward and to keep as still as possible with her back straight and her chest out so to make her beautiful glistening breasts more noticeable and obvious. As I walked around her, I gently stroked her skin, running my hand over her smooth butt, shoulders and breasts. After I was satisfied with the beautiful job that she had done, I began to slowly dress her in the clothes that she had set out which included a black and pink leather corset and black fishnet stockings, which I had her sit so that I could put them on her kissing her lovely legs as I slowly rolled them up her thighs. This was all brought together with the final piece of clothing, a black leather garter belt, which held the stockings in place.
Taking her by the hand I walked her to a full length mirror and instructed her to look as she stood before it. I stood behind her as my hands reached out in front of her slowly rubbing the soft flesh of her breasts. I brought my mouth close to her neck so that she could feel my hot breath upon her skin, then looked up at her and met her eyes in our reflection. I softly spoke in her ear, "Look at what we have created, see how beautiful you look?" I then gave a small nibble to her ear which made her shudder a bit before I began kissing at her now sensitive neck. My right hand slowly slid down the front of her body while I continued to enjoy her breast with my left hand. I reached in between her legs and began slowly and deeply massaging her clitoris which was already swollen, sensitive and wet. Again I whispered into her ear, " I want you to watch yourself cum for me." Her eyes grew a bit wider as she moaned, looking into her own reflection. I continued like this with her, kissing and gently sucking on her neck while I brought her to orgasm. Her body began to shake and her legs grew weak, I felt her weight fall into me and I ceased massaging her breast with my left hand so that I could support her standing while I continued massaging her with my right hand. Her eyes clenched shut as she let out an restrained scream. I responded by telling her to open her eyes, "I want you to see what I am doing to you." My right hand began to rub her more quickly. She pressed herself to look into the mirror but it was only for an instant, for just as our eyes met in the mirror I felt another orgasm overtake her and her legs gave out completely. I wrapped both arms around her and gently brought her to the floor where I kneeled behind her holding her for a while while she sat in front of me recovering.
The night went on of course for several more hours, and we played in several different ways but this is pretty much how it began. |
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Like a wounded fawn
she lays nestled neat
quivering at my feet
In a place
where her body can give no more
And I myself
Feel my knees quake
What before my eyes
Cause my heart to break
I too suffer
with every single thing I take
In a place
Hallowed in relief
Upon my cold chamber floor
For standing above
Or be it by your side
With each ear piercing crack
I too died inside
But only to be born again
-in a space that is not a space
Within this place that except for us
-was truly not a place
But the pleasure and pain speak different
When I read it upon your face
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I have edited my profile description in the hopes that It will clear up some confusion that people have been having about it. Sorry for not being concise earlier. |
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For an Audiance of one
My mind is racing
My pulse peeking
at the anticipation
of mind erasing ecstasy
Give it to Me
The very sanctity
of your virginity
No, not physically
but rather mentally
I manuever my speech
just to make you quiver
as I drive deeper
into the wet pink folds
of your frontal lobe
Welcome to my world
locked in a mental embrace
pass thy gates of hell
that we may sit face to face
but not one moment before
for your place is upon the floor
and it is in this highest regard
that I love and adore
I sanctify you in holy vestments
of black and steel
confine your eyes
and close the doors upon the real
so that there is nothing left to do
but feel
Shackle yourself upon the alter
and be purified by pain
every whimper that you offer
has a purpose in vane
from the Top to the bottom
W/we are the same |
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For those of you who do not know me well, I love poetry. I like to write it and I even like to perform it. I am pretty good at it in fact. I go to some of the local open mics here in Albany on occasion and perform said poetry in a beat/slam format. So I get to have that outlet for myself.
What I do not have an outlet for, is some of my OTHER poetry, stuff that would not do well in front of a vanilla crowd or would be inappropriate to perform in public. I have decided to post some of it on here....just so I can feel like it is being shared and not wasted. You do not have to read it obviously, but still get some satisfaction from simply posting it. So those will be ongoing though out my journal entries i think. |
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Ok so I was feeling a bit bold, and posted two more pics of me on here. one is really bold...lol, but I find the thrill of having posted it to be quite exhilarating. The other photo that I added was from several years ago, and makes me smile because it is proof of how far I have come in getting things in my life back in order. It is not a horrible photo I don't think (not referring to the quality of course) I am just a much more fit Mike...lol. |
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