I have been away for awhile, needed to take a break.
You know when you fly 500 miles to look into His eyes to know, and find that your eyes lower automatically, and you cannot look unless bidden to do so. You know when the response is felt just above the belt,and not below it.
You know when you find Him in a strange city or in a crowded room, not with your eyes, but with your belly. You know when your mind focuses on any small detail. A look, a gesture, when His fingertip becomes important.
You know when you push past your own inhibitions and sense of embarrassment and insecurities to do what will please Him. When you seek to please Him without thought of reward, only with the thought of feeding Him.
You know when your back is straight, your body is still, and your mind is sharp.
You know when the article He gives you could have been written for you. When you see your own truth and desire spelled out.
You know when you think, "how would Master react in this situation?" "What would Master think of me if I did such and such in such a way?"
You know that even as a strong, capable, protective person; you feel small and safe in His presence. You know when He responds to your smallest self with either a shake of the head and a "shape up", or with a pat on His lap.
You know as you walk down a dark street, at His heel, feeling protected by His energy; yet feeling ready to defend Him with your life if need be.
You know when you fall in behind Him, when the rings of His footsteps embeds in your mind, when your feet follow His, when your footsteps seek to match His, and you feel pride in just being with Him.
You know when you know without any hesitation you can trust your life, your soul in His hands. When the fear is at the head level, but does not touch your belly, your center.
You know when you can see past any obstacle, when the image and visage of your Master are clear cut and sharp. When the slightest sign of approval makes you soar and the slightest sign of disapproval makes you search deeply for the strength and resolve to not do it again. You know when you always carry yourself with dignity and with Him in mind.
You know when you genuinely care about Him. When the sight of His rumpled shirt makes you want to iron it, when you wonder if He has eaten well today, or slept enough, or still has a headache. When you think of Him first and yourself second because in doing so, you know you are truly serving Him, and by virtue of it all, yourself.
You know when He comes up behind you in an unexpected touch. And although He described this to you, nothing prepared you for the feel of His power, His strength, His Mastery.... and your knees buckle. When He presses Himself against you, for only a moment, it feels like an eternity and you wonder how you will ever bear His touch.
You know when you wish to serve Him in whatever way will serve Him. When He suggests some way of serving Him and you feel gratitude rather than put upon. When even the most menial tasks put you in a state of devotion to Him.
You know when your first thought is, "what does He need and want?" You know because your true desire as a submissive is to serve your Master. You know because your true Master would never ask you to serve in a way that is not you. He knows what is best for you, and how it is best that you serve Him in order to ultimately serve yourself.
You know when you feel His concern, His compassion and His intolerance for your less than best. You know when you want to emulate Him. Not out of a sense of hero worship, but out of a genuine and sincere respect for Him. You know when you respect Him as a person, and as a Master.
You know when the slightest touch from Him sets your soul on fire. When the fire begins in your center and not between your legs. You know when self-serving and self-seeking slips away and the desire to serve Him becomes paramount.
You know when there is only truth between you, when a lie is impossible and when you cannot hide from Him. You know when you want to be stripped bare, when you want the secrets of your soul revealed to Him because He understands and appreciates them.
Most importantly, if it is kinky sex you seek, that is what you will find. If it is the space to live out some self-hating, self-abusing part of you, that is what you will find.
If it is a true Master you seek, sit firmly in your own submission. Submit to yourself and to the idea of submission. Give in. Give it up. He will see it. He will be drawn to it. He will know. He will hear your cry and see your hunger and it will cause His own to rise. Express it without hesitation and without vulgarity. And most importantly, express it with dignity and in a language of whispers only He will hear. Live it from your center, from your soul.
Follow His lead. When He tips His hand, tip your's too. When He folds His cards, fold your's too..... But don't let this dissuade you from finding ways to get Him to tip His hand.
Be ready and prepared when He does answer. It will consume you. It will engulf you and you had better be able to handle it. Just keep the thought of pleasing Him in the forefront of your mind, and let Him pace you. He knows.
He will wrap you in His protective strength and make you see the beauty of who and what you are. He will see your gift, even through all you may cover it up with; bravado, ego, insecurities, lies. He will unwrap that gift, layer by layer until it is open fully to Him. Then He will posses it, and in the possession, the gift will be returned to you a hundred fold.
It may take a very long time, but it will happen. As water seeks it’s level, a Master will always seek His counterpart.
I am able to relocate.
[COLOR red]I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Find out where they hide her[/COLOR]
This is what I strive for:
A Master is spiritually awake.
A Master is actively engaged in regular spiritual practice to strengthen and deepen his awakening.
To the best of his ability, a Master loves unconditionally.
A Master strives to be uncompromising in his integrity.
A Master is honest, trustworthy and consistent in his words and actions.
A Master is willing to be emotionally open and vulnerable, and does not hide his feelings but instead expresses them in a healthy manner.
A Master is self-sufficient.
To avoid causing suffering in himself and others, a Master remains in control of his ego, even when he indulges it.
A Master does not accept the service of a slave casually, and does not take the responsibility of mastering a slave lightly.
A Master knows what he has mastered, what he has of lasting value to offer a slave.
A Master understands and accepts that he is engaging in a relationship of equals with his slave.
A Master accepts from his slave only that which is freely given.
A Master accepts the gifts of his slave's body and trust with gratitude, and takes neither for granted.
If SM is to be a part of the Master/slave relationship, a Master has or acquires the requisite technical knowledge and skill.
A Master is fully conscious of his fetishes, and of the power they have over him, and acts on them only when doing so does not cause harm or suffering
A Master understands the importance and value of discipline and protocol, and develops discipline for himself and a protocol for his slave that is both nurturing and nourishing.
A Master possesses and uses healthy and functional communication skills, and insists that his slave do so as well.
A Master is willing to stand in the middle of his slave's projections about the Master without moving, neither supporting nor fostering the illusion, nor destroying it.
A Master is willing to bear, without complaint or self-pity, the awareness that doing his best may at times not be good enough.
A Master is willing to admit his mistakes, acknowledge his shortcomings, and make amends whenever possible.
Despite appearances, in exercising his authority a Master's primary intention is not to get his needs met, but to meet the needs of others as revealed by the Universe; it is a manner in which a Master fulfills his Divine purpose.
A Master fully understands and embraces the paradox of the Master/slave relationship.
Offering my Dom the gift of my submission, will be the greatest gift I will ever bestow. We will grow together, you will bend, shape and mold me into your perfect sub. I will always be in your control and there to please You in anyway I can. We will share all things together. Yes, those things I have yet to experience too. I know you will always be Respected, Protected and Cared for and that you take ALL my needs into consideration.
