lavisub

Last night, I had a cyber interaction (cybercourse?) with another member of this site.

It was my first time.

I didn't think about it much at the time, but I've been reflecting on it the whole of last night and today, as to what happened!

I started thinking more about who I am. I've been asking myself this question a lot for the past three years. As I've been living my normal life, having normal interactions with people, partaking in normal activities, I've developed a what used to be an abnormal habit, psychologically and sexually, through these years, which manifested into reality last night, in a cyber sense--that is as real as reality can be in this Day & Age. (Killers anyone?)

I don't know how it should be. But I think I do.

You see, when I was little and went to grade school, for a period of some time (maybe a few days or a few weeks), I was an acting slave of another student, a friend of mine. I would follow him around, do as he said, kiss his hand, and even carry his backpack home after school. I enjoyed it. I didn't know the meaning of dominant or submissive at that age. It was just something that came about, which I can't recall how, and I went with it. Until one day he got tired of me obeying him and told me to stop!

I was shocked, sad, embarrassed...

Why the story? I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to justify the fact that I feel this way. Maybe I was always meant to have this personality and I've been hiding it within myself because of society's accepted norms.

Last night felt good. Weird, but good. I would really like to experience it in person; feel the touch, hear the voice, and breathe the same air.

I'm looking for an older woman--to do [open to experience]!