Latinlibertine

I love nights likes this. Nights when it?s windy and loud as it breaks against the trees. The air smells like storms. I wish it would it rain. Not the sprinkles that we?ve been getting but the relentless pouring for hours kind of rain. I miss that. I miss the sound of the rain crashing. I miss the violent sound on the patio roof.

I think it reminds me of my previous lover and all the naughty things we did especially in the rain. The things I made him do out of his devotion to me. I look out seeing the tree he used to be tied to completely naked in the rain. I didn?t care that it was freezing. I didn?t care that the neighbors could look out their windows seeing him crucified against my tree. I didn?t even care that the rain collected in puddles at his feet forever ruining my grass. Did I mention I threw out the last of his things just today? His clothes, sun glasses, books, all the bedding. I had to change the drapery too.

As of right now I?ve been celibate for seven months. I?ve kept myself distracted by working myself to exhaustion. I opened myself up to a long distance relationship having no intention what so ever to follow through even when time and resources were available. It was safe. I wasted time in someone I didn?t like as a person, as a boyfriend and as a submissive. Nothing about him was good or decent. Just a shell of negative energy that was so one dimensional that I couldn?t help but feel empathy. I was looking to repair someone else?s damage. My entire purpose being to distract myself from having simple mundane sex, or worse I could have been wasting time and energy in dominating someone undeserving of me.

I?ve always been somewhat lascivious, but now for whatever reason I?ve been very quiet. I?m out of practice. I need to practice, but my whips are dusty. My eel shoes with the 5-inch metal heel are somewhere behind the hemp sandals and animal friendly bags. The leather straps are now used to hold my plants. My extensive collection of police quality handcuffs is now holding bird feeders in my back yard from my favorite tree. My German custom-made corsets are forever lost in a box in my parent?s house since I had put them there 8 years ago. I have vanilla-d myself. Is that a word? Vanillad?