LaMaestra

I have decided to include a per-requisite here.  I will never, ever, under any circumstances knowingly play second fiddle to another woman, not a wife, not a girlfriend, not anyone.  I do not accept the extra crumbs of your life as an offering of interest. Either I get the best of you or I want nothing. 

So when approaching Me, the first thing you will state plainly and without guile is that you are single and live alone.  If you cannot make that statement honestly you ware not qualified to be considered by Me.  The only condition I make to this is children.  However if you cannot speak to a woman on the phone in front of your children, your level of secrecy is prohibitive to any interaction with Me.

Moreover, as I have stated repeatedly throughout this journal it will be within hours that I will expect to speak to you on the phone.  And while I respect work hours, home hours should be entirely accessible to Me if there is no one else vying for your time. 

After that, we will meet within days.  If this is not your capacity, do not contact ME.  

https://www.dreamloverlabs.com/index.

WOW I want one!

Pictures added to My gallery

I was speaking to My daughter today and she was describing a recent couple she had observed and I realized it is exactly what I am seeking. She said, "the Woman is clearly in charge of the show and the man was just grateful to be a part of the show." My life is a big life, and I would value the care and support of a devoted toy, specifically one who is truly grateful to be a useful part of a "big show."

I am not unserved.  Sometimes I think it appears that I am without adoration.  I am not.  I have a lovely former toy who tends to Me gratefully and artfully.  The devotion and worship that My ft offers to Me is difficult to rival.  The attention he brings to detail often daily delights Me.  So then, why am I here at all...why do I continue to seek?

Well in the first place, no matter what I own I have the right to own more, at least as long as I am able to maintain what I have.  But the truth is, that while I do enjoy thoughts of cucking from time-to-time I am not greedy, moreover I have a very strong sense of commitment to the betterment of the world I live in, therefore I really do not have the time to own more than one slave.  And it is quite possible that if my ft were free for ownership, I would take him.  However he is married.

I was first courted by him some years ago when he was separated from his wife.  As far as I knew the marriage was ended and he was headed toward divorce. However in the subsequent years, as we each continued on our individual journeys his led him back to his wife and Mine eventually led Me here.  When I first put up this profile to seek for someone of worth to own he stumbled upon My journal and was immediately drawn to Me, even though he did not know it was Me.  The old Pina Coloda in the Rain song.  And while he is ardent in his devotion and attentiveness to Me, we both know his capacity to serve Me is very limited. 

Still the flowers he brought last time he came and served Me sit right here next to the screen.  My toes are beautifully red because of the paint he brought Me the first time we reunited.  Tomorrow My floor will shine with his ministrations. 

But it bothers Me, it does.  I do not like to consume another woman's resources, and his energy belongs to her first.  I do not like to be second, ever. 

My former toy is beautifully trained.  It is with sincere gratitude that he both approaches and removes himself from My presence no matter what the form, in person, online, in text, he is absolutely grateful.  With focused attention he seeks to know what I need, not by questioning but by relentless focus to the details of what I relay to him about My life, My concerns, My thoughts of the day.  From this he picks up what I need and often brings them to Me without ever a word from Me. 

I am taken care of in this interlude by a valuable treasure.  Because he is owned by another, I will never own him, but he cares for Me until I find one who is as worthy as he to wear My collar.

It was confirmed tonight, the absolute best way to truly clean after releasing My bladder is with a soft, moist, entirely focused tongue.  They should sell them on the roll!

I have been mulling over a rant for some time now.  I do not really like to read rants in profiles, so I have not acted on My determination, however My position on this is so strong I feel it is remiss to resist expressing it any longer.

As a dominant Woman I find it offensive that in nearly every single image I come across that depicts who I am as a stereotype is Me being objectified by those wanting to worship Me.  I am depicted, nearly always with bullet shaped tits darting from My chest, melon full ass and V-shaped legs all wrapped up in painted on garter and bra.  From My perspective there is little difference between the way I am depicted and the way a female slave might be depicted except that I am standing up over a man and she is kneeling down beneath him.   Moreover the majority of those approaching Me to worship do so from this same paradigm, as though I am some sort of cartooned Dominatrix, whip perpetually in hand, cigarette holder dangling from My other hand, six inch heels propping Me up and all I could possibly be interested in is where to dig into their flesh, or how I want to sit on their face.

It is not that I do not want to dig into a toys flesh, nor sit on its face, but come on, this is not what I look like day in and day out.  I am a real Woman.  I am not a cartoon, nor a personification of sexuality.  I resent being depicted as one and being approached as one.  I will not demean Myself to respond to you as though I am a cartoon version of Myself.  I will be worshiped, I will be adored, but it is Me, the real Woman, complete with flaws and stresses and determination, growth and agonizing epiphanies that you will be aware of and care about when you approach Me.  I am not hiding Myself in order to become your cartooned idea of what a Domme looks, sounds, and acts like.  Coming at Me describing how much you want to be queened by Me bores Me.  It says, this thing that has crept up by your foot needs to be wiped off as soon as possible. 

If you want a Woman, any Woman, any where, you have to woo Her, delight Her, engage Her, even romanticize Her.  Flowers, yes, of course...duh!  Jewelry, sure...Toys, yes!  Compliments...only of the most sincerest kind.  But if you treat us like an object, you need to re-evaluate who is the toy and who is the One who gives the toy value. 

Being a sub, or a slave does not mean you are off the hook from being fascinating and endearing.  If I objectify you...that is what you seek, but if you objectify Me, you have turned Me into your toy, and that aint happening!

A fearful admirer wrote to Me of female virility the other day and I wrote back My thoughts.  I realized that this concept very closely identifies what I see Myself as.  I wrote:

Female virility...that term produced an immediate sense of personal identification.  I would go so far as to say that this term is probably the very best way to describe Me.  While the dictionary goes into the masculine attributes normally ascribed to virility the synonyms more deftly applicable to Me are vigor, potency, spirit and I would even add capacity.  Indeed, it is My belief that My virility is threatening to most, not so much because I challenge, but more because in the face of it their own virility seems to wane.

 I have pondered this dynamic often in My life, and I even have from time-to-time considered the effort to shadow or perceptually lessen the virility I exude in an effort to become more embraceable by the general public.  But I have repeatedly come to the same conclusion and that is that each of us, exactly as we are, in the fullness of who we are is what the world needs from us.  It does not need a watered down version of Me, or of you, whatever form or distinction you do or do not have.  If we only present the watered down, socially acceptable form of ourselves to our world, then we are lessening the tapestry of life that we are all a vibrant part of.  So, while I struggle with those who are intimidated, because I have as big a heart as I do a mind, I accept their reticence as the price that has to be paid to be fully that which is needed from Me by My world.

I feel as though it will do no good to state this yet again, but I have decided to emphatically state that if I find you of interest I will require real time meeting within hours or days.  I have no interest is building a fantasy based identity with you only to find out we have no chemistry nor compatibility.   

In addition to that, I have very high standards when it comes to acumen, and if I do not detect the capacity for it in either your note nor your profile I will not waste either of our time.  Countless boys have begged and begged to be considered and then when they are speaking directly to Me in whatever form, phone, chat, even text, whatever it is abundantly clear to both of us that they are way out of their league and it does not go well.  Trust Me, if I do not contact you, you do not have the cerebral capacity to dance with Me.

Upon further contemplation I have come to the conclusion that it is the struggle, the sacrifice a toy must endure for My pleasure that arouses Me.  The idea behind queening is that the toy has no capacity to free themselves, to eek out oxygen, that their immobility and powerlessness is dictated by the pleasuring of the woman.  And I can see how that is true.  Still, listening to the boys and toys as I do, I know this state of complete exposure to a Woman's pleasure is not a struggle or difficulty for them, rather it is a reward.  To have My arousal opened with no hindrance or price paid to access it thrust into a toys mouth somehow lessens the pleasure.  I just do not think such a gift should be bestowed so wantonly on a boy.  It seems like it would just spoil the child.

No, what is much more appropriate and I should say appealing is to have the toy tied up on a stretchy rope.  The tip of its cock and one of the balls tightly bound to a hook in the corner, but the capacity to pull, to stretch the rope tautly still available to the toy.  Then a few feet away, at least one or two, I open Myself to be worshiped, to be pleasured.  Then the queening is just that.  The toy straining against the pull on its cock and balls as it works diligently to reach its prize. 

Yes, this makes sense.

This arouses.

The rest, I cannot imagine, is ever possible to be earned.  But maybe, maybe there is a way to provide a toy unlimited access to My pleasure, I just have not thought of it yet.

or

I have been contemplating the experience of being queened.  For Me the true pleasure comes when I am taking what is tightly grasped.  As it, whatever "it" is, is slowly and irrevocably removed from the loosening grasp of the toy that offers it to Me I find Myself more and more aroused.  Surrender, then, is what really sates My soul.  your surrender to Me of that which is the most precious, the most dear, the most cherished by you.  

I am methodical as I search the toy, the edges, the bulk, the hidden crevices, where are you hiding that which I want?  Where is that thing that you are so afraid to release, to relinquish?  Then with the sudden focus of a hawk, I zone in on it, that is what I want...right there, that thing, the thing you are so loathe to submit.  Yes.  That is what I want.

So, the problem I find is that queening is what we both want, and at some level the slave's ache to worship Me in that manner interferes with My pleasure at receiving said worship.  Please take this, take this they chime at Me as I walk by.  I suppose that is why the toy on the chin in the video I have tagged and the toy tied so very awkwardly in the photo I have employed both appeal to Me.  I want, no, I will be worshiped in this way, however it is for My pleasure, and My pleasure alone.  I suppose it is the sadist within,

I lo

Six times I have made arrangements to meet, and six times these very earnest, very needy toys disappeared.  At this juncture I know for sure, "it ain't Me!"

If you contact Me and I find you of interest, expect a phone call within 2-3 emails, and a meeting after the first call.  Moreover, just to make it clear, I will not be the amazing Goddess of the Universe the first call, or second.  We will talk about your job, My job, our past, our future, the Universe and the mysteries held therein.  We will not talk about My power over you, and how I will wield it.  It is a given I have the power.  However I am not exerting it, or Myself over you until you have come out from behind the pixels and showed Me flesh and blood.  Give Me something I can bite.  Then you will feel My fangs....

La Maestra

I have decided to designate the two I am currently speaking to as former toy (ft) and current toy (ct) respectively.  I noted with some pleasure that ft could also stand for fuck toy, and ct could easily be cunt toy, and how entirely appropriate each of these distinctions would be for their prospective stations.

I am thinking that ct owes some gratitude to ft for his generous gift of the luxurious red paint.  I am thinking that ct needs an opportunity to express his gratitude to ft.  I will have to consider the solution to this question.

La Maestra

not

The weekend passed very pleasingly. The last of the first three made his decision to bow out, though he has not stated so implicitly, his decision to not respond has been accepted as his withdrawal.  

My former toy met with Me for a lovely dinner on Saturday and provided Me both with a delicious bottle of Red Carpet Red nail polish, but also laid his particularly provocative cerebral acumen on the altar of My pleasure, and I did relish it all through the meal.  He purchased a tie to go with the polish and as I gazed at him through the meal I repeatedly thought about My nicely polished toes laying across his neck on top of the JGarcia tie. It was nearly an aphrodisiac. 

On Sunday the first toy from this search to make himself flesh met with Me at a local park and knelt on the ground in the sun to paint My toes with the gift from My former toy.  There is something particularly pleasurable in handing the offering of one toy, into the hand of another to serve Me with.  His efforts, while quite eager were faltering and nervous.  I am afraid the job will have to be attempted again, perhaps this time with a little help from Me for his focus.

We shall see how he progresses in his journey.

As I reflect on the weekends activities I find Myself growing hungry.  I will go now to sate My desires thinking of those who labor to bring Me pleasure.

LaMaestra

w ww

There is all this flitting about...pick me, pick me.  Anticipation, build up, hopes for more, for a foundation, something to build on, a true power exchange.  Even I fall into this, and yet, here it is two weeks in and My toes remain unadorned.

It is on My to-do list, they will be painted this weekend.  The proverbial prospects maybe severely thinned down as I take push to shove, but some boy will be painting this weekend, or none will remain standing.

There is a truth I have accepted and yet have not ever really understood, it is the truth of chemistry.  With a Woman and a toy, intellectually it would seem that chemistry is not a necessary component.  After all, if the toy is actually that, they will "become" whatever it is their Owner desires.  Yet, in practice, this simply is not truth.  It is not possible to become that thing, that thing that surpasses decision or even awareness, the thing that is the core of the being, DNA, pheromones, or chemistry if you will.  At some level there has to be sparks, attraction, hunger, and that is more than an equation, more than balance or yin/yang.

Chemistry is both the spark and the fuel.  Chemistry is the pulsing of heat and the breathlessness of the kiss, whether a soft brushing of the lips over the top of his head or slowly snaking your tongue down his throat until he feels his very soul invaded while his head is steadied and held in place by your firm grip on the handful of hair clutched tightly in your fist.  It matters who it is.  It matters that chemistry exists.  It matters.

LaMaestra

, or

I am now 2-for-2.

Twice I have gotten to the point in the dance where I have requested a face-to-face meeting and exactly twice those invited disappeared immediately following that invitation.  The first one eventually popped back up to withdraw his application to My interest.  The second one is still MIA, though I image he will write in the next 24-48 hours with some dire message of woe that wicked him away...

Please know before approaching Me at all, that it will only be two or three contacts before I get to this point.  I have actual toes, with actual paint, that actually need to be worked on.  There are virtual toes, and virtual  paint, that can be worked on in a virtual world, but this is not it. 

Moreover, the Universe strives perpetually to maintain balance, and with the same measure of disrespect you show Me by approaching Me with nothing but virtual reality to share, you will be disrespected and disappointed.  Perhaps your wife, or lover, or whomever it is you are keeping your real self a secret from will be the source of the balancing, I do not know. I just know from 50 years of living that balance will be restored. Treating Me this way will not go unpunished.

La Maestra

dAs I read and write I cannot help but wonder if those I am writing to also interpret the information provided on this site, the time a letter is read, the time a toy visits the site, each and every time.  These details are not lost nor insignificant.  

When the heart is racing and the hunger at its peak a toy will write back to Me within minutes of opening My response.  When reticence sets in and they start to feel Me invading their safety, an hour or two will pass...and then when they feel as if they may be losing their selves in Me...well, you see the pattern.

Perhaps then I should be a better fisherman.  I should watch the bobber bobbing and just yank it hard at the first nibble.  But if I do, if I just yank it out of the water what have I really gotten but the edge of the lip?  What I want is for the hook to go deep into the belly, into the loins and snag the very soul of the catch.

One toe at a time.

LaMaestra

Like a child in a candy store I find the hunt drives my hunger to a fevered pitch until I want one if everything. But if I cannot control My own appetite how will I ever control you?

I wonder why it is so hard to get what you want...They say it, "Be careful for what you wish...for you might just get it."

I heard today from a long ago toy.  He was always such a delight, always the gentleman, accommodating, mmmm and such capacity to worship!

Perhaps I should have those who are fearful contact him for a reference.  That is a good idea, CM should provide a forum for references.  Even if they were simply anonymous, like on Google, or E-Bay, a rating system if you will.  Why not?  It would help with our little selection system greatly.  Of course there are haters out there, but sheer numbers usually indicate a trend. 

I am what I appear to be.  The colors I have chosen here to share My thoughts are being shared with these colors because I am this bold, this intense, this present.  If you are afraid of finding what you fantasize about best not to contact Me at all.

LaMaestra

wh

Hmmmm.

Such fickle boys.

One cannot bear being exposed, one balks at a modicum of devotion and the third wavers at the thought of competing. Surely the very fact the I have chosen you indicates you possess more than enough to win the hand of thy fair Lady. Where is thou temerity, tenacity, chivalry?

If you cannot bear the little it cannot be expected that you can bear the much. Glances at the waiting polish, then again at the empty Inbox, then turns off her light, turns over and goes to sleep.

LaMaestra

Both prospectives have grown resoundingly silent. One has to wonder if perhaps My largeness overwhelmed.  I am aware that it can. Still I thought that Chicago boys had more temerity than that.

Ah well, we shall see what the morning light brings.

LaMaestra

res

The hunt is so very pleasurable.  Indeed it is ashamed that in My current state of affairs I do not have time for more than one boytoy in My life.  But One must respect their own limits, in real life as well as in the realm of ownership.  If an Owner cannot respect their own limits what hope does a slave, who has no right to limits, have?

The two boys I am toying with at the moment are eliciting a delightful hunger within.  They are remarkably different.  I take great pleasure in their differences, and in the assurance I have that the only opportunity they have to "win" My affection is to be brutally naked before Me.  Naked, not nude.  They do not know who I am, nor what I seek, so their only hope is to be utterly exposed, open, vulnerable, and naked before Me.  Showing their whole hand before ever seeing even one of My cards. 

My hunger peaks as I consider their position of mercy before me.  I will have to go and eat before playing further.

LaMaestra

Not yet even 24 hours in this search and already one of the boys has dropped out of the line-up.  Things can move so quickly in this venue!

I did enjoy the video posted.  However it would have been more pleasurable if the toy had been a boy rather than a girl.  girltoys are good for sticking things in, but how I love a high flying flag begging for My ministrations.

Each of the boys have written back nicely.  One is very much a blank canvas, which has its value.  It is nice to possess a blank canvas when one is an accomplished artist.  You are able to create unfettered.  Still there is also value coming upon a medium that already has structure, like Michelangelo described when creating his David, “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it."  It provides a different challenge to the artist and a different level of skill to free an "angle in the marble."

It is good that I am a Creator.

Sadly however My toes remain colorless.

LaMaestra

nng

A boy asked Me this evening to clarify My thoughts on queening.  I found this lovely video and thought it did a great job expounding on something that a Lady would not.  One of honor does not kiss and tell, still the Internet allows us to be graphic without ever getting our hands (or mouths) dirty.

http://xhamster.com/movies/1316846/lesbian_dildo_face_sitting.html

as

Tonight I began My search.  I chose three lucky boys to explore.  I chose them for different reasons.  One I chose because his entreaty was well written, meaty and respectful.  his manner was generous and elicited a sense of belief from Me.  Already he has written back and is waiting patiently for My response to his eager reply and a small sating of his curiosity.

The second I chose because he sent Me very sweet pictures of his person.  Chaste and respectful, but also clearly demonstrating a boy who is created to please.  his profile indicated he is ready to move to real life, face-to-face communication.  These qualities enticed Me above the rest.

The third I chose because he may bring to Me something I do not normally have.  Luck.  It has yet to be proven, but I will consider it.  For the now it will be only these three that I continue to speak to , and then only until I have chosen one, for I only have time and inclination for one.  If all three cannot meet/exceed My expectation I may write to another...

The first time a boy paints My toes it will be this color.  I will post the results here.  Perhaps to challenge their efforts I will require they paint them without hands, only using their mouth to paint My toes red.  I think that would be a great way to determine oral dexterity.

La Maestra

rr