kristenelectra

I am interested in making friends with other submissives that can help to mentor (or just listen.)

It seems like people in the BDSM community are always more interesting and educated, but that is terribly biased! I guess I should say that profiles on this site tend to be more revealing than anything I see on Match.com.

How long have I been into the lifestyle? I guess forever, but I don't consider myself to be particularly experienced. I have never been part of a local BDSM community or gone to the sort of parties I see on HBO. I don't own a single piece of latex or leather.

I have read and own most of the Gor books, but I don't consider myself gorean. I do, however, consider John Norman to be more logical than most of the text in a sociology book. (Come on, I don't read it just for the preistkings!)

I know I am fascinated by the mechanics of D-S. I know that I want to be submissive and controlled in bed. I cannot say that I want to be a 24/7 slave. Perhaps in the right situation, I would feel the desire. I couldn't know because I haven't met anyone I could trust to that degree.

Everyone has expectations. Most Men on here seem to have very specific standards for what they are looking for. So I will try to be as honest and succinct as possible.

I am single Mother and I am 32. I am not rich or thin. I am used to taking care of myself and my family and like being independent. I have never had promiscous sex before, and am not looking for a hook-up.

I am not looking to find a man to pamper me for fix me. Although I know I want to be submissive in bed, I am not certain how muchy D-s I want to bring out of the bedroom.

If your profile says that you arenot looking for online chat, I won't respond. If all you are looking for is a girl who has already been mastered and has accepted her slavery, then I am a waste of your time. There is no saying I will ever be a slave, but maybe someday I will be ready for that.

I think it is great that there are people out there that know what they want. I applaude the Dominant Men out there that won't settle for less. But that isn't me, so I will let you know now so I don't waste your time.

I think trust and emotion need to grow and therefor slavery should not be a prerequisite for the first email I send you.

Yet...... Every day I wish that I felt the
rapture that love can bring. Somehow, that emotion is harder to find now that I am 32 than it was it was when I was 17 and naive.

When I was younger, I didn't know what I wanted. And even after I figured it out, I sure wasn't about to ask for it!

Now, older and wiser, I wouldn't waste my time on the average date. All that work to talk just to find out that my sexual desires are abhorent...

I never really used to know how to admit my own feelings. I used to read Gor books in the bathroom at night, mortified that someone would catch me.

Now, I like to think that if I were on a vanilla date, I would just put it out there. I would say to a guy, "I want you to spank me. I want you to tie me up. I want to struggle against you. I want you to love me. And more than anything, I want to find someone who is worthy of all the love I have inside me."

Reading my own profile, I sound at least as demanding as most of the Dominant Men. And I haven't once spoken about what I can offer.

I can promise to be honest and open to the best of my abilities. I have many interests and always have some sort of innovate idea in my head. I am never boring, unless I am lazing in bed. (Of course that can be interesting too!)

I am one of those few rare souls that recognizes that I have more to gain by listening than I do by talking. Speech is silver; silence is gold.

I absolutely love nature and the tranquil beauty to be found in it. I am knowledgable about many new and old age religions. I have the same deck of tarot cards that I bought when I was 13. I teach my children about native american religion and buddhism. I teach them about Jesus as a great prohpet as well.

I love being outside the box. I love it that when I am in a group, I am generally the one who comes up with the good idea that noone else thought of, but everyone else likes. I love genres of all different kinds.

To me, a good zombie flick is like a slice of heaven. I live more in the world of ideas than the mundane. I listen to everything from Broadway to Rap to Classic Rock. I don't give a fig what kind of car a guy has or how much money is in the bank.

I have the bad habit of always running late. I am always preoccupied with vauge ideas. Sometimes I might be working on a scene for a manuscript. Other times I might be thinking of something nice I can do for a loved one. Maybe I am delving into a sexual fantasy. Either way, I tend to be preoccupied most of the time.

I value kindness and open-mindedness. I value honesty and communication. I value intelligence and colorful perspectives.

Perhaps this sounds like most of the things that people in BDSM value. Maybe we are more in touch because we have the creative side of BDSM already within us.

One thing I love about men who call themselves Dominant is the way they value honestly and communication. All of them seem genuinely curious about the girl in question. Sometimes it is like finally being seen after walking a mile in darkness.

Of course, I am just going off limitted experience. I am hardly an expert.

Hopefully, someone out there is willing to run the risk of wasting his time. I want to start talking in a no pressure sort of setting.

I once read a story about a successful Master-slave couple. They started off small and things just got bigger. They married before they even began to explore D-s.

When they started exploring, it began with small things like bondage in the bedroom. Little by little, things got more intense. Softly, yet suddenly, it had occured... Total power exchange.

The interesting thing about this story is that it was painless. It was like a natural progression between two people. Painfree, dramafree, struggle free. It was started on a good basis for a relationship, and not just the common interest of D-s.

For them, it was like watching snow fall on an evergreen. You can't see the change as the snow gradually builds. Eventually it
accumulates enough to fall from the branch. Another level has been breeched; layers have been broken. The snow continues to fall, subtle, but tangible.

I think it was easier for them because they already had a basis for a good marriage. Also, they both had the innate desires to explore their Dominant and submissive selves.

Irregardless, there was more there than just the desire to own or be owned. True mastery could never have occured if their relationship was merely average.

I know that sometimes people set their expectations too high, but I can't seem to help myself. I think, that for a submissive, you need all or nothing. And wouldn't it just be so wonderful to find someone who had such good judgement that I could just let go...

I would be happy to make friends here, and encourage anyone to contact me. I love hearing people's ideas, and it doesn't bother me if we are on opposite sides of the fence. Some of my greatest teachers were people whom I disagreed with.

I wish everyone here the best of luck with finding whatever it is you're looking for.

Sincerely,
Kristen

(BLOG FOR THE DAY 3/21/09)
the day after I wrote what is seen above

Here is an addition to my profile- a day later. Zombies are now walking the earth. You are most likely to die if you don't check a room thoroughly. Bring a gun and shoot for the head.

Okay just kidding. But I do need to add a post here....

I have recieved a few emails that make me think that I represented myself as some sort of die-hard gorean. To set the record straight, I just want to talk to guys that at least know what Gor is.

After all, this site is called collarme so gimme a break if I mentioned Gor on a profile. Honestly, I can tell you at least a dozen writers I read more than Norman. And as my profile explicitely expresses, I am not looking for a slave outta the bedroom thing.

Maybe sex is more than I should discuss. I have never met anyone off a dating site and I have never had casual sex. This isn't to mean that I wouldn't meet someone; I don't see this as an alternative to renting a movie either.