If you’re not looking for a devoted submissive or slave, and a fundamentally monogamous and male led relationship, you might as well quit reading now. Also, I will not post or send pictures so don’t even ask. If you want to meet, I have no problem with doing so if there’s a reason to meet. I realize many men are visual creatures. And, finally, if you already have an SO (significant other) please don’t waste your or my time.

Still reading? Then here goes!

I’ve been active on and off in the local BDSM community since around 2000, and played at aspects of it for about 11 years prior. What I’ve learned about me over the years is the heartfelt desire, the need, to submit, to be able to totally submit, to The One. While I do have the need to submit, it isn’t something I do lightly or easily. It takes a lot of trust and respect for me to totally submit. In other words, coming on to me as if I’m going to fall to my knees and bless you for Your Holy Presence is going to leave you sadly disappointed. And telling me this means I’m not a twue submissive or slave isn’t going to get you anywhere, and fast.

I know who and what I am. When I choose to submit to a Dominant, I do so with all my heart, mind, body and soul, IF we’re both lucky to have found our mates. And that is what I seek, my mate. I’m not going to settle for a play partner, but do hope my mate likes to play. My mate and I will be best friends, partners, completing each other, bringing out the best in each other, sharing our lives together, and devoted to each other and the well-being of our relationship. Of course, that takes time. I know I’m worth it, my mate will be worth it, and the relationship is definitely worth it. It’s happened once before, and I know it will happen again.

Until then, life goes on. And I do have a life. I enjoy it to the best of my ability. I don’t always get to do everything I want, but that is truly life. I have friends ~ bless Them! ~ whom will beat me when I need it (so I don’t want or need play dates from virtual strangers). Please don’t expect me to suddenly drop everything in my life for you, but hope to become a part of my life just as I hope to become a part of yours, making it our life. That’s the way it works, now isn’t it? Of course, as my submission deepens, the Master will have more and more control over “my life”.

So, am I a slave or a submissive? Am I a masochist? While I refer to myself as a submissive, and usually deny I’m a masochist, I’ve often been accused in the past of really being a slave and a masochist or pain slut. Personally, I can be both a slave and submissive, or either or neither. It all depends on the relationship and where it goes. As the trust and respect grows in a relationship, so does my submission. When the relationship progresses to the point where I am as devoted to you as you are to me, slavery is the natural result as far as I’m concerned. As far as physical exploration, in the beginning I will have soft and hard limits, a safe word, and safety measures set in place. Limits abate and change in direct correlation with the trust, respect, and devotion growing in the relationship. I expect my limits to totally dissolve in time, as they have in the past, following whatever limits Master has set for me and for the relationship. As for me being a masochist? The term means different things to different people. I phrase it this way: I enjoy the infliction of pleasure. Yes, some of that pleasure is exquisitely painful.

I do have expectations for a relationship. What on earth could I expect? First, and foremost, is communication. There goes that oft repeated buzz word, hmm? If honest and open communication is not your thing, I’m not for you. And this open and honest communication is a two way street. I don’t mean we need to verbally vomit every thought to each other, but if we can’t be open and honest with each other then why even bother? I am not going to waste my time or yours playing mind or guessing games. “Well, he said this but I think he really means this” is not in my lexicon and won't be in my mate's. If I have a question or doubt about something you’ve said or not said I’m going to ask for clarification. My mate will do the same. How else does one build trust in the other if we don’t share with each other?

In addition, if either of us lies to the other and gets caught, I’d expect the relationship to end. I know lying eats me up inside and I don’t like it, at all, so I try not to do it. I much prefer my serenity. If I find myself having lied, not only will I admit to it, but I will also delve into the why of the lie. Without reflection, lying is a detrimental game and a waste of time and energy. I’d much rather be spending my time and energy on more productive pastimes. Now, I know we’re all human and we do err on occasion. Owning up to our errors, being responsible for our actions, and what we do about our errors can make all the difference, for ourselves as well as for others.

I also expect respect to be shown both ways. If we can’t respect each other, again, why bother? What is respect? Agreeing to disagree seems very hard for many to accomplish. Communication comes in handy to conquer such situations. I don’t have to agree with you to respect you. I will, however, judge for myself if our differences are compatible or not for me, just as I’d expect you to do for you. Your kink isn’t my kink is respectful. Honoring limits and privacy is respectful. There’s more but I’m already teetering on the soap box.

May your day be spectacular!