going on 3 yrs together ,,,he asked me a very simple and recived anserw,, what song best describes your feeling for me ??  Alison kruss,, you say nothing at all,, he look confused and someone had it on a phone ,, he heard it for the first time,, my tears flowed as it played,,,  before it was over he had a  big one drip off his cheek,,and I gots witness es ,,, lol   he was like wow,, I do that to you ?? im like,, I am still here going 3 yrs aient I ?? got my lil ass pulled onto his lap n told,, ill be here for you till my last breath,,,im like funny lil butt me,,, you get another one of them spiked plugs,,,,that last breath could be soon,,everyone laughed ,,then I got my big long kiss ,,, and yes ,, we sneaked away n made love,,just for the need to know group,,, lol

actually had one of his geek friends ask me ,,,,, did it hurt ?? when you fell from heaven ?? I looks n says,,, hell yeah it hurt,, I came so hard like to spray down half of hell

he tells me dress for a  day at the park,, tight white shorts,,yes,, white brief panties,, bra,, t shirt type top,,flip flops,,  as we walk out to the car  a limo pulls up,, not one of them mile long stretch ones,, just a limo with the seats that face each other ,,, he gives me a big hug,, and a one of them  make my knees week kisses,, says make me proud to own you ,opens the door n I get in,,  im still looking at him all confused as he fades away,,a phone beeps I anserw,, im told to strip,,and put on the dress and hose shoes and g string in the compartment,,omg  this dress,,, putting it on was pointless very thin,,, dam near sheer short,,tight,, the driver watched me change as he drove,,, I was told to look in another compartment,, bringing out a long fat  buttplug and cock gag,, the driver instructed me to insert the plug,,, when I looked confused he said louder,,, don't make me stop and put it in you bitch,,, I scooted to edge of seat drew my knees back,, pulled the g string aside n spit on it then forced it in,,,  crying out several times,,, reminded by the driver,, I have to stop your really going to hurt slut,,shivering,,summn bout him I belived him,,gag in place sitting up now the car finally pulls off at a really run down area in front of a old apartment building,, the driver gets out,, hands me a key to apt 14 points,, I walks in finds the apt ,, walked inside,,, you guessed it,, the driver is the dom,,,quickly puts wrist n ankle cuffs on me,,, hooks hands over my head lifting me off feet,,, legs hooked to floor hooks stretched painfully wide,,, the dress is shredded off me,, after some serious use and fucking,,, Master appears,,, hed been watchn me since I got in the car,,, the lil prick,,,,lol

ok its karzy time for me,,mommas birthday,,, all the times ive pushed him away ,, hed gold me close n let me cry,,, all the times ive cursed him only to turn away n cry ,,he knew,,,he gave me the space I needed,,, and kept me close knowing hes there for me,,got me thu this ,, once again,,yes ive no doubt hes the right one for me,,, and he says im worth it,, time to pay up,,,lol mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ok so hopefully the questions about his ex gf and the baby stop,, I understood about she was his first love and how its so hard to just let go ,, and ok,,like I had any real choise in the whole matter,, he had to be the one to let go,, several yrs agao I got involved with a man whos ex came back after we got pretty serious,,, they both realized why they split in the first place was just plain silly,,stubborn and tempers just let them grow apart,, ok now im in the way,, wasn't until I actually met her,, talked to her I realized,,just that,, I was in the way,,, just tryn to say sometimes,, you just have to be the one who walks away,, for the happiness of others,, oh just a fyi,,, I knew Masters ex was a lieing whore just after his money,,, he finally cought on,,and he does support the son,,very well I might add

all I can say is why ?? Master has a cousin in another state ,,, a really really nice well manored man,, cought his gf cheating on him,,he beat her half to death then threw her out of a 2nd story window,,,no she didn't survive that,,, now he will spend the rest of his life in prision because she didn't love enough tobe faithful,,shakeing my head,,will people ever learn to control tempers ??

just a ps to last entry,,we never did anything out of the useal in front of the girls and was a rare occasion they ever even saw me there,,, well cept for the 2 mornings id mentioned,,, most of the time I was still tied to the bed when she got them off for the day or was up and gone before they got up

way back when I was single,,,lol,, this couple I saw like once or twice a month,,both very dommant,, was this like a bar between the liveingroom and kitchen,, they had twin daughters bout 7 yrs old at the time,,early one Monday morning grand momma was picking them up for a day of shopping ,,, I just done remember why wasn't school that day,, anyway,,, im under the bar,, hands cuffed behind back ,, chain between ankle cuffs,, naked,,pluged nip clamps n chain,, hes wearn pj bottoms,, her the top,,,they are standn in the kitchen,,, momma is only few feet away in living room fussing over the girls,,,, lol im tryn to nip at his cock and licking her legs and them tryn not show it,,, was so funny ,,took them forever to get out to car,,,ok so after they finally left,, I got mine,,, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm did I ever ,,, somehow this don't read like I ment it too,,on another occasion same couple the girls had been maken momma crazy with  sassing her,,im in just a t shirt at breakfast table  being mouthy me as useal,,, all of a sudden she gets me by hair ,,drags me off the chair bends me over the table face on table and lays into my butt with a plastic spatuchla telling me how fed up with my mouth she is,, the girls are in total shock mouths wide open,,,the spatula broke,,,, goes flying,,, she grabs a metal one out of drawer n goes back to wackn me,, telling me ,, and what did I tell you about always wearing underware young lady ?? as shes beatn me,,, im crying screaming begging,,promiseing to be good ..finally she stops,,, im runnn around in circles holdn my butt cryn,,, she looks at the girls n goes,,,, whos mouthing off next ??? they ran,,,to this day they are still leary bout talkn back to her,,,

one of the very few nights around here,, Master and I get to bed early ,, nice,,sweet peacefull,, falling to sleep holding each other ,,perfect right ??not in my freaking world,,i feel him stiring,,, then pulling me rally close to him and a soft tender kiss ,, he says I love you so much,,Karen ,,,who the f ing hell is Karen ??I leap out of bed screaming at him demanding to know who Karen is ??ok stupid,,, shes a girl he had a mad crush on back in 7th grade,,,i mean yeash ,,,ok  normal person,,lets it go ,,just a dream ,,me ?? I cant let it go ,,,, auggggggggggggggg I hate me sometimes

early this past summer Master and I,,his brother and his slave had a little picnic at a park near here,, they had just had a 5 mile run for breast cancer awareness,, was a good hour after the last runner  finished or so they thought ,, the clean up crew was busy when someone noticed this very large man  half walking toward finish line ,, me being the goof I am im jumping up n down cheering yelling to this man I had no clue who he was ,, Master gets in on it whisleing really loud,, brother Patrick and his slave are  jumping cheering now,, I pull the finish line banner out of the trash can,, well what was left of it,, a lot of people took a piece of it ,, mmaster n his brother put us on their shoulders so we could hold the banner high ,, the poor man staggers over the finish line,, were cheering him patting his back  doing our best to keep him from falling down,, guy had tobe every bit of 400 pounds,, but he finished ,, well anyway,, not 15 mins agao we had a very pleasant surprise vist from this man,, a sleek 210  pounds standing 6 1,,he told us was our cheering and enthueasm ok I cant spell for poop,,,what drove him to lose the weight ,,just woke up his determaination,,,and wanted to thank us,,now that's the way to start a new year,, is so happy for him,,

Master took me to a club ,, where I see these 4 guys  kind of hanging out  ,,, all really hot looking hardbodys,, whew I mean buff,,,, dam had me drooling ,, now im almost wearing a plungeing neckline short tight dress,,, a tiny lil thong ,,Master told me I could only crawel on my hands and knees to them and ask if any of them wanted to fuck me ?? ok so me being a idiot and trusting,, I do it ,, showing everyone  my ass n breasts as I craweled ,,im lookn up as sweet n sexy as I can,, ask,, they all have a big laugh and inform me ,,altho im very cute the way I came over n asked,,, they are quite gay,,, omg I walk back to Master in tears,,, everyone is stareing laughn at me,,, that's when Master informs me he knew  all along they were gay ,,, told me I should be more careful what I drool over ,,,

ewwwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwwwwwww and ickkkkkk ewwwwwww,,, someone just me a vid ,,, like the dummy I am I open it,,, its a guy injecting himself in the butt with cummmm,,,, I mean like whats the point here ?? not something id care to see but,, if you want a creampie in you butt,,,be a f ing man go out n bend over ,,, im sure someone will come along n fill your tank,,,, ackkkk

for now just sayn the party was awesome ,,, by 7 pm,, 6 slaves gowns around waists on backs on a table arms held over heads legs spread ,, having fat long dildos ramed into twats squrritting into the crowd,,rang in new yr with 6 slaves bent over elbows on table getting  the 10 countdown cracks with wood paddles,, the screams made nice bells,, all im sayn for now,, oh were bout 150 people there and ive already been asked  how many fucked me ??? who the hell counts after 3 ??  think of it this way guys,,, if you had a long line of girls waiting to sit on your face and suck your dick ??? would you count how many ?? would you even care ??,,,

was recently asked if I was ever commanded to change clothes in a moveing car ?? RLMAO,,, back when I was single and worked 2 jobs and still trying to have a life,,, I changed clothes often while driving ,,,, peed along side my car many times,,, changed  beside car,, once in mid afternoon at a busy wal mart parking lot,,, had a real hotttt date n was in a hurry,,,im sure are plenty of other girls did same,,

finally ,, hes done it,, something ive always dreamed of aspireing too,, used unbound,,i guess its called mental bondage,, so not fair,,anything to do wiff me is mental,,anyways ,, this entire day has been spent in  complete obeadance,, told how to stand,,bend,, crawel,, whiped hard ,,, deep insertions,, self impalement  ,,all unbound in any way... not moveing untill told too,,yeah ok,,, cried like a big boobing baby,,  but i didnt move,,did everything i was told to,, and with who,,awesome feelings inside me ,,i cant begin to describe the high im still on,,,swoons,,days not near over yet,,, i have to go for now

 did it again,,,,, forgot my yahoo password,,, try tinastorm46 now,,,lol sooner or later ill run out of numbers

how many of you have smelled cow poop up close ,,, gag gag,, as ive told you before  I am soooooooooo not very graceful,, some would even say a clutz,, I don't pay attrition to whats around me much,,helping some friends clean out a old barn I somehow mananged to  fall out of the loft and went headfirst in this huge deep tank,,,, oh yeah it was,,, ewwwwwwwww,,,  by time the ropes sliped off like a couple hundered times,,, and droped me back in,, when I finally got out  I was  just bout naked ,, shreds of panties n bra left,,, completely covered in cow poop ,, oh yeah,, choke gag  coughing it up ,, was early in the week and I still stink,, at least in my mind I do,,i wasn't going to share this but master says I have too,, he says I looked so cute standing there crying covered in well,,, yuck,,

frowns ,, im not allowed to finish the pool story,, sorry ,, it may step on others lives,, hey I just do as told,, how I met a special lady dome in a western state,,hot  hot weather ,,the kind you sweat min you step outside ,,anyway ,, army dom I was living with ,, I was working he was sleeping on   eve shift ,, I figured id sneak home at luch time and surprise him with some wake up sex,, I parked my loud old blazer down the block n walked to house,, I get inside I hear  noises ,, like someone screwing ,, mmmmmmm 3 way  wake up sex,,  I sneak to bedroom and looks ,, ackkkkkkkkkk the pig hes screwing I wouldn't touch with a 10 ft pole ,,some bar wench no one would go near ,,, now you think id go nuts n beat em both to death,, I just cried ,, I ran out jumped in the blazer n took off as fast as it would go

this road bout 10 miles from town goes up steeper n steeper to a  400 ft drop off at  a graniete quarry ,, like 6 inches of dust on the road makes it like your going thu heavey snow,,just not slippery,,unless its raining then look out,,so im going as hard as the old girl would go then it came ,,, loud rap rap rap till she stoped ,,, now I really don't know if I intended to turn at the top or,, drive straight off,, guess ill never really know,, all I know I hurt ,,inside ,, im sittn in the dirt beside the truck cryn my eyes out ,, I looks up and this pair of the bluest eyes are staring into mine,, im like ,, are you my angel ?? am I dead ??she smiles n laughs,, no your not dead baby ,,but you sure look like you can use a friend ,, she s a very well dressed pretty woman in her mid 40 s,, driving a new Lincoln,, I get into her car n we drive to her place as I relive the moornings events,,at her house  we got very very drunk as we talked ,,telling her about who I am ,,where I came from n such ,, I remember meeting her husband ,, then nothing ,, lol I wakes up in a very nice bed ,,alone,naked  unmolested,, rats,,, I goes down to kitchen in a short sheer robe that was on the bed ,,n they are having breakfast where I remet him,, they tell me everything about the house and what would be expected of me if I stayed with them,, then tole me about the dungeon,,, im like ,, DUNGEON ??  lets go see it ,, once inside,, im like I don't care what you want ,,, im sold,, im stayn,, lol and that's how I met maam and scott ,2 of the best decisions of my life ,,my 18 months there serveing them were the best  in my life,, but alas with all good things they end,, they had to move to Germany for work reasons and I wasn't ready to make a change like that so I left ,, yes I did it the cowards way ,, after my going away party,, I snuck off in the middle of the night ,, I just cant stand goodbyes,,

ok what im thinkn is just a afternoon at a  friend of his at their pool,, drinks,, lots of  talkn about the life style but  no one elese actually into it,, master is telling some people bout  making homemade restraints and toys and hes  got everyones undevided attrition,, then it came,, the can you show us some  ?? so he gets 2 long sticks ,,, makes a rope collar,, ties one stick across back secured to collar then my wrists,,,, then has me lie on table  on my back n ties ankles wide apart,,, ok they are amazed how easy that was,,, then he unties wrists n   ties to center of the ankle spreader,,,  commenting on how helpless I am,,, hes lookn and I saw it,,, that pure evil grin of his,,,, hummmmm something is missing he says,,, snaps his fingers n says I know,,,, shes way over dressed ,,, and he removes first my bottoms then bra to my bikini,, daam strings made it so easy,,, I knew I should of worn a one piece,,, stuffing the bottoms in my mouth ,,, he takes clothes pins and  lines my twat lips,, then breasts saveing the owwwwwwwiiiiieeeeee nipples for last,,, everyone laughing at me cryn  ha ha ha,,,  then the bottoms are removed n some woman is tryn to get  pins on my tounge n lips and of course im squirming not coperateing at all,, then wack,,,, that  wish sound n the sharp sting on my butt,,, then again and again,,, im shrieking,, it freakn hurt,,, then  realiseing hes using one of them carnival bamboo canes on my ass,, holy crap,,, shreaking crying begging he got me a few more good ones then he told me hold still and stick out your tounge,,, duhhhhhhhhh dam right I did,,, more later

oh poop,,i forgot,,, this has been a public service announcement by a know nothing screwed up subbie whos been thu a lot,,

I see a lot of  ummmmmmmm errrrrrrrr doms ?? calling girls flakes cause they are not ready to move in after a few emails,, I saw one profile by a smart lady read,, just because you read my profile does not mean you own me,, it does not mean im relocateing  in a 3 sentence description of yourself ,,I mean come on really ?? do you really think women are just going to leap to you cause you think your a match ?? I mean ok   as subs were not exatly right in the head,,, but were not mental either,, well ok,, some of you aient,, not speacking for myself,,, give it some time guys,,, build a little trust between you and youll go a lot farther than the  block list,,not every sub is as lucky as I and have the man of your dreams trip and fall on you,,its not like sometimes we are put into situations by others,, like once I was totally into this guy ,,  3 months I lived with him  and I found out he had a bf,,, ewwwwwwwwww,,,, I confronted him,, he just threw me out ,,, I mean serious,,, pushed me out the door n my clothes behind me ,,,now here I am,,, id been living off him on the sidewalk no place to go ,,,I ened up at a motel with some guy id met in a bar for a week ,,,ok so not smart,, but it gave me a chance to figure out what I was going to do ,,I guess im tryn to say,, don't let yourselves get cought being 100% dependent,,,least wise till your absolutely sure hes the one ,,

locked my dumb butt out of yahoo ,,, new nic,, tinastorm45

ok,, not the kind of entry yall look for so,,,Master got this friend has this old farm type house,, really creepy looking place sits way back down a lane all by itself  big trees surrounding it all down both sides of the lane,, house has 5 rooms downstairs,,, 5 more up,,,and a full basement,,, every room cept kitchen and living room has some kind of dungeon furniture,few with several,,, slaves are hooded and led to the next room where are bound to a chair,,, or put on the furniture and wait until whos going to use her comes in,,,she can hear  the slaps and screams of others in other rooms ,,,, oh yeah wet city,,, ok I really suck at writeing about the details ,, but wow,,, this place will turn you on long before you get naked,,,after that your staying soaked,,, I don't care who you are,,lol,,Master asked me where I wanted to go for the hunnymoon we never took,,, I said right here,,, I cant think of a funner place,,,lol,,, I mean just think bout it for a min,,, your bound ,, blind,, don't know whats in this room until the hood comes off,, you don't know whos going to do what to you ?? your peaked already,,, the hood comes off they touch you don't matter where or how,,,, your going to cummmmmmmmmmmm and hard,,, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,,, I got to go back now.cant wait,,,

wow,,, where mistakes in life can lead you ,,,ran into a friend from back like 12 yrs agao,,,she was seeing a very married man ,,got pregnant and you guessed it ,,, dumped her,,she ended up hooking to get money for a abortion,,hated herself for doing it got deeper into drugs,,one bad relationship after another,, in and out of jail,,,finally od ing,,, shes 3 yrs sober now,,has a beautiful daughter,, and a good husband,,told her  for what its worth im proud to call her my friend,,, laughing she asked me how I ever stayed out of the funny farm ??.. the look on her face when I told her I was there,,twice,, laughing again,,, she said you always were really dumb and had to do everything twice to learn anything,,guess im just tryn to say,,, we happy for each other,, where the road of life has led us ,,,,, so far,,

first master wasn't always a total dick,,just want people to know that,,he made my b days very special ,, and other days,,guess the best was my 16 th b day,, worked a double shift,, got home bout 11 pm hot night ,, I walk in the yard and hes standing in front of his pride n joy,, a 74 ford 150 pickup ,,like 5 feet off the ground,, yeash,,, he scoops me up and puts me in the truck,,, got her purrrring like a kitten lets ride,,, im what the hell lets go,,, off roading thu the brush he stops where I cant see no road,, like a cliff,, he lifts me down  puts his hands over my eyes from behind me pushing me to the cliff,,, when he removed his hands,,, OMG,, the moon on this awesome lake fed by this huge waterfall,,,, I just cried ,, was the most beautiful place ive ever seen,,,he whispers in my ear,,happy birthday angel,, id clean forgot,,he tells me with the truck we can get down there and swim in the falls ,, yeeeeeeeeeeee hawwwwww,,,we swam,,, drank beer ,, ate chicken hed made himself ,,, now that really impressed me,,ok ok,,, so he did all the cooking,, in self defence,, im a horrible cook,,,still am,,anyways,, the suns comeing up,, were half in the water half on the warm rocks butt ass naked and im shakeing him ,,, I gots to get to work,,, hes half sleep lookn at me,,, why you think you worked  a double yesterday goof ??? your off today ,,,, ok fuck time again and I dove on him,,

back in early 20s ,fresh up from ky,, so new to the dateing secene,so submissive,, so so stupid,,had a job in pits wore skirts or dress mandantory,,my job was to hear peoples complaints in a dept store,,, lol nuttn I could do about it,,, just listen to people bitch me out all day,,,i was rather good at it cause I cry really easy,,anyway one day on way home getting off at my stop is a park there,, this guy had been askn me like everyday what my name was,,i felt really good this day n told him we started talking and ,,, yup ,,, dumbass me ended up walkn into the park with him ,,before long was another guy,,, then another,, then another ,, all kissing,, gropeing me pulling me more tward some kind of a tunnel,,when I tried to run was when I got my clothes riped off and they were slaping me harder n harder to do what they wanted ,dragging me now by my hair and wrists got me into the tunnel where they took turns at first n then 3 at once,,went on until way after dark then they just left me layn there,, spent,, covered in semen and piss,,managed to get to a foutian and cleaned myself up somewhat,, then used the trash bag liner as a dress to get the hell out of there,,lesson learned,,

freakn fantastic day,,,, Master drives me to this house at end of a street ,,, very pvt,, strips me and throws my clothes into the car,, ties my arms crossed behind my back leads me into a basement  play room where are 4 naked men and another naked slave ,, Master and his brother go off with the other girl and leaves me alone with the 4 men who are on me like flies on a rotting apple,,pulling fingering  slaping ,,,, on knees,,  cock in throat  holdn me by hair in deep,,, other hands fingers in both holes,,,, by now im so wet its like a flowing river ,,, dragged over to a couch,,,  one man has me straddleing him ,, then another goes up my butt ,,, another down throat again,,,, this is how ive spent most of day,,,,,red boobs n ass from slaps,,, fucked in every hole,,,,,, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yesssssssssss

last evening we had in low 40 s ,, Master took me to this  restaurant near the river,, has a really nice small park beside it,, nice nature type trail,, ok after dark,, fuck park ,,, we got down along the stone wall to this area not like totally pvt but not many came down that far,,,he told me to strip which I did quickly,,, id already got in big trouble  that day,,, my big mouth again,, picks up one of them sticks,, wooosh sound as he swings it around,,, ok like I always say,,, <<< big chicken,,, im cryn,,, begging,, please master,, me sooo sorry ,, ill be good I promise,, he just motioned for me to bend over hands on the wall,already sobbing ,,,1 ,,, 2 ,,, 3,,, 4,, im shreaking,, he moves close ,, says,,, keep screaming like that,,, the whole restaurant will be down here watchn,,,  now biteing my hands,,,  5,, 6 ,, 7 ,, 8 ,,, im dancing around holding my butt,,, crying a lot but quiet,,master opens his pants I drop to knees mouth open wide ,, expecting to suck him off,,, im chokeing on hot piss trying to gulp but surprised,, so coughing ,,, chokeing,, he don't even slow down till he was empty,,,hes laughn at me,,, says ,, ok you  failed,,, 10 more ,, now the real begging started,,, real tears,,, my bummm already so sore,,, 15 he said,,, sobbing  near incohearentt,, he says going for 20 ,,, make me tie you and will start at 100,,,, I quickly got in position for 15,,,lines from top of my ass crack to backs of my knees he got to 15,,,danceing around trying very hard not to scream,,,,    he opens his pants again,,, hard as a rock,,, I drop,, and hes in my throat,,, firm grip on  my hair,, trying to breathe,, still sobbing from  my sore bummm,,just a min or so ,,  I can feel his warm goo filling my throat ,,, and he pulled out,,,  im a lil angry,, didn't even get to taste it,,oh by the way,,, my retarded cunt is just pumping out cunt juice,, not really any orgasms ,,, just that wet ,,, ready at slightest touch,,finally,, he reaches down,,, im still on knees,, twists on my clit,, hard,,, I cry out ,,, and im off,,, blasting one hard stream after another,,, body convulseing  no control of anything he has me by hair so idont bang my head off the ground,, when  I got to where I knew what was going on again,, he still has my hair and is slowly lettn me down till im face down in the ocean I just made in the dirt,, mud now,,he walks over to a bench and sits,, watchn me,, as I slowly got up standn,, face,, breasts muddy,, tells me ok get dressed,, im like the mud ?? ,, he looks around,, no water here,, deal with it,,

late evening master calls saying he cant get home in the snow storm,,i tell him of a phone call from a man named bill,, wanting to come over this evening and have a few drinks with him catch up on old times,, he informs me that bill ,,, or Master William to me was his mentor,,and I will call him invite him over and extend him every curticy,,, grrrr I cant spell for crap,master puts it that way,,, I know zakley what he means,,,, another sex pervert,,,the bell rings I open the door,, wearing only collar leash wrist n ankle cuffs ,,, I kneel head down,,,the mman laughs,,, says,, wow  I nerver expected this from the feisty little fireball hes told me so much about ,,, explain yourself child,, I looked up and I don't know,,, I shivered,, I mean one them from inside to out shivers,,scared,,saying,, you were his mentor,,, you thought him to do the things he does to me, again laughing loudly,, no dear,, I thought him to let his deamons out ,let the power inside of him loose,,again laughing realize my fear,,  he said,, now is this how you greet your master ??? look at the mud on my boots,, I went to turn to get up going after a towel,, he stoped me with hand on my head,,, your tounge pig,,gulpppp,,,, werid,,, I squrrited  on the floor as I licked,, him laughing loud,,, oh yeah,,, this is going tobe a very long messy nite,,

this was with last master,,, hed been working double shifts  Friday finally comes ,, and he calls on way home  I can hear in his voice hes in a really foul mood ,, so I surprise him when he comes thu the door wearing a pink soft corest,, sheer pink hose and a tiny lil sheer pink g string  and heels,, collarhewalks in all smiles,,, breathless,, says wow,, just when I thought you couldn't ever look better you do this ,,, I go to him a long deep kiss as I begin undressing him ,,  ok he riped of the g string and is fingering me to one orgasm after another,, when he stoped long nuff for my brain to reboot,,, I take his hand n lead him to bathroom,,, a nice hot bubble bath  roomlit only by candles,,  he sinks into the tub pulling me in with him,,,  holding me close tells me ,,, strip,, I do,, pushes my face down,,, ickkk tryn to suck him the the soapy water,,, hes laughingpulls me onto him and he slips in easy,,, hes big,,, I mean really big,,,  pushes me down onto him till tears are flowing ,,, just holding me down on him in me deep,,,, he slaps my boobs and im off,,,, cumming one after another,,, he laughs,,, whispers in my ear,,,  as hes lifting me up,,, your butt ,,,, fill it,, and pushes me back down on him,,, deep in my ass,,,,, augggggggggggggggg cumming more even harder n b4,,, my body convulseing till I go limp,,,,he laughing hard as he scoops me up and carrys me to the bed    lays me down,,,,, he goes back into the bathroom and gets several of the candles,,, looks at me,,, don't you dare move,,, as if I could??   shreaking,,,c rying as he pours wax onto my breasts,,, belly,, twat ,, then shoveing his cock down my throat n holdn there a long time,, I can feel his cum blasting straight down into my belly,, he smiles at me ,,,,, and lays beside me falling to sleep,,,

took me to this old building only had a thin halter dress and heels on,,, leather cuffs with a small padlock locked together under my chin to front ring of my collar,, led me a long chain hanging from the celeing in middle of a big empty room .,, locked it to ring on side of collar,, removed my dress and heels,, put me on my knees,, bent me down till nipples were on the floor ass high ,,, told me to stick my tounge to floor n don't dare move it

beat my bum blood red with a small leather paddle ,, then backs of both thighs,,, screaming crying begging for mercy but I didn't  pull my tounge in,,,honestly,,, I was scared too,, hes been in a wickedly evil mood lately,, he let me up  and uncuffed my hands,,, still locked to the chain to collar,, pushed over a bowl of ice cubes to me,, told me to put as many as  I could up my butt ,,, I begged no and he showed me a cat,,, shivering sobbing I got 5 in,,, he then hookd my wrist spread wide to a spreaderbar and   took the chain off my collar n hooked it to the bar and rasied me up till toes barely touched the floor ,,,,  fingers deep in my butt,, laughing as the melted ice flowed out ,,  cramed 4 more up there,,, yeikes,,, brought out a singletail whip n give me a full body whipping,, after just a few good ones he went into the next room and came back a few seconds later wearing heavey duty headphones,, told me to scream away,,, no one is going to hear me,,i tried lifting myself with my arms and mananged to turn enough to spoil some of his really good swings at me,, lmao,, wow big mistake ,,, he drags in this big cement thing with a  ring in the top,, puts it right between my ankles,,  runs a clover clamp chain thu the ring and up to each twat lip,,,yeikes,,, that eneded the  turning n lifting up,,,after I have no clue of how long he whipped,,, toyed me into so many orgasms  ,, just knows when he finnaly lowered me to the floor ,, I couldn't even crawel,,,cuffed my wrists under my chin again,, put a metal shock plug in my butt and told me to squirm my way to the door,,,,, hell I didn't make it 2 feet just layed there gettn shocked screaming n crying,,begging ,,, he finally gave in and carried me to a small mattress where he give me a really good twat fucking,,, and we both passed out ,, last thing I member was him hurrying me to the car,,, still naked cuffed and pluged sayn summn bout our time was up the next custermer was comeing in,,,lol ,,, ill pay double to go back,,mmmmmmmmmmmmm

ackkkkkkkkkkkkkk,,,,,, is there no end to the endless number of bitches who call themselves dommants and only   after money ?? or the men who call themselves dommants are only bullys or looking for a date ?? good greife people ,,,look at the picture you post,if you look like your down and out or drunk,,or just escaped from a rubber house,, odds are you wont get a response ,,,, thinkn what little iq I used to have has been reduced greatly by some of the messages ive got on this site,,im homeless,, zero desire to work,, but I want you as my slave so you can support me in the manor I deserve,,,, ( rolls with laughter ),,, yeah im going to go work 20 hrs a day to support you and have no say in what you do to me,, or when,,just cater to your every need ?? sound like something you said ??? think,, maybe its me that has it all wrong  ?? I know a handful of other subs,, slaves,, yeah ok,, when I tell them what your looking for,,well,, no need to hurt your feelings,,if ya got even half a brain you can figure out the response I get ,,, oh and one more thing,, guys,, I mean really,, you have a lot more to offer anyone than just your pee pee,,, yeash,,,ok im done with the rant someone sent me off on this morning,,

few weeks ago was very warm around here,, went out in cotton shorts and a tube top,, was near a hour later than I  expected getting home,,master met me in the driveway belt in hand,,dragged me by hair into the garage closed the door and laid into me as he riped my clothes off,,im trying to ask what I did ,, he was grumbleing something about thought id been with someone he didn't know,,confused ,,scared,, finally he stoped,,, laughing,, said he couldn't keep a straight face no more,, now im real confused,, he says,, are you scared ?? im like ,,, hell yeah,, he said  spread ,,, I did,, blushing,, I swear I was dribbleing,,floor was soaked under me,, he laughed even harder said,,, yup now im convinced,, its the fear you thrive on,,ill be dammed,, shhhhhhhhhhhhh still of the opinion im just plain masochist,,,lol

ok,, as insane as this may seam,,back when I was like 22,, area living in were zero decent jobs,, me being the coo coo I am and my twisted way of thinking ,, its not the lack of jobs,, its what your willing to do to work,,so I did basicly gofer for several area men,, you know,, across town file work,, bringing lunch,,yes escorting ,clients to events,,for 25 dollars a hr,, if I had to bend over n take it,,, oh well,,just saying,,wasn't always sexual involvement in this job,, but it was there,,just thinking back if my neighbor hadn't gotten me into trucking back then where id be now ?? married to some big shot ?? or buried in a field someplace ,,who knows what lil twists and turns fate has for us all ??lol master just pointed out ,, I had to mention ass sex,, my thoughts,if a man is paying for sex ? hes going to want what he cant useally get,always been my experance anyway,,then ive always been told my ass just jumps out and says,,fuck me,,loli think id best leave this alone now and let those deviant minds run wild and free,,, ni ni

rut roe,,, going to be in a cage all week at the home of another dommant couple,,, they plan to have me used at least 20 hrs a day n nite,, lets see how I hold up,,, grits my theeth,,

how many ways can my big mouth get me in trouble ?? without going to extreame details,, I made the dumb comment that a real Master needs a dungeon to get to extreame play,,, lol,, Master sends me to friend of his home,, im told to be on my best submissive behavior or will be hell to pay when I returned,,i choose a very short pleated skirt,, a nice silk blouse and of course as told no underware,,  long dangley earings,, cute necklace ,, I strut into his house,, are 2 men there,, a nice house,, hardwood floors  the min I walked thu the door I get,, oh look at miss im way above your class out of both of them,,  and a quick face slap just to show me im meat,, ok gotta love dom men,, go straight for the hair,,  drag me bent over walking to a small table like a coffie table,, pits me on my knees on the table  ,, hands on floor ,,, both of them whipping me with floggers till my bum is on fire,, squirming unable to hold still crying ,, ,, pull my head up,, spitting in  my face n mouth ,,, calling me all the useal degradeing names,, one chokeing me,,other one pulls out cock,, I open my mouth thinkn ok here we go blow job already,,,, lol he pees,,, in my face,, mouth ,, other chokeing telln me swallow some,, how the hell am I posed to swallow gettn choked ?? face slaps cause im not gulping,, other shreadding my blouse off,, slapn breasts so hard,, gawd felt like he was usen a whip ,, but was just his hand,,then I got my face in the puddle on floor ass high and one of them shoves a huge toy in my butt telln me to lick the floor up,, well that did it ,,, I came,,, and hard,, squrrtting cnvulseing ,, they are laughing heads off calling me a freak,,more whipping told to move my hands every time I reached back,,, then whipped harder for the hands,,, I was loseing my mind it hurt so bad,ok so with detail this went on for around 2 hrs,,, used me in every hole,,got my fair share of cummmn too ,, they came like 3 times  each,,always in my mouth,,, duhhhhhhhhhhhh of course I swallowed,, leaveing me laying on the floor the one looks at me says,, ok lil bitch ?? who needs a dungeon to use a cunt like you ?? lesson learned as useal,, yes,, Master was very happy at my performance ,, hed watched the whole thing from another room,,,

wow,woke up this morning  remembering something happened bout 13 yrs agao,, now theres a feat,,, I cant member yesterday half the time,,i was in ky with my 1st master,, took me way out in the woods,, striped me naked and tied one ankle to a tree n left me there,, I saw him go over the hill ,,I waited and I waited and he didn't come back,, im thinking ,, ok this aient fun  no more,, so I got a sharp rock n I cut the rope,, now im just mad,, so im walking to where I thought was home,,, walked so long my feet were bleeding tired,, was getting dark ,, im gettn cold,, scared ,, I keep hearing noises  like im being followed thinkn its him,,,he wants me to find my way home myself,, so I walk some more then I saw it,,, a big ol black bear,,,,omg I was scared I ran like hell to these big rocks and right into this lil cave,, and holy poop 2 small bear cubs,, im a dummy and even I know im deep poop now,,, momma bear is going to protect her babies,,, that means im toast,,i can hear moveing closer n closer groweling,, the cave is black father back I cant see nuttn,, just there shivering waiting  for my last breath,, then I could hear larry,,, cissy look up,,  im whispering I don't see nuttn,, he said feel around,, I felt a rope,,   he told me to quick tie it around my waist n next thing I knew I was going straight up,, I never held him so tight in my life ,, hugging kissing him,, then all of sudden im mad,,, boy was I mad  and im hitting him,, pounding on him as hard as I could yelling you left me out there ,, hes laughn at me,, got me calmed down,,  showed me where his leg n back was all scrathed up deep,, he blushed ,, I fell down the hill  hit my head I guess,,, I woke up was getting dark and you was gone,, hed tracked me to where I was,,gess he wasn't all that bad,,, he could of left me for bear food,,sorry it wasn't a sexual story,, guess I ust woke up thinking how lucky I am tobe where I am today with Master,,,oh,, HAPPY HOLIDAYS to all of you and your familys,, wishing you a safe and happy holiday,,,

lol over at a friends house ,,, master got   to ummmmmmmm fooling around in the back yard,, its dark,, a little snowcovering every thing,, he bared my breasts,, made me bend over  by pulling me by hair,, till my nipples were touching the snow on the picnic table,,, instrucking me not to move ,, he pulled down my strechpants and gave me several hard slaps on my frozen butt,, yeeeeeeeoooooooowwwwww,,,  feeling the cold dhivering now   he lifts me nuff to put bells on clamps on my nipples,,, then twat lips,,,  omg ,, now hes hard,,, right up the butt he goes,,  going at me really hard pulln on my hair,,, ting a lingeling  i go,,, then opps,, all the  xmas lights come on,,, holy crap ,, was like a landing zone with the snow,,,master never even slowed down,,, he kept at it,,  im noticeing   all over the neighborhood curtians moveing ,,,blushes,,, min he filled my butt n let me go im running for the house as im fixing my clothes,,, yeah ok,,, i gots a whipn for  leaveing without being told too,,

i made master so happy he instructed me to share,,he had to go and see a lawyer bout some very unpleasent biz,, so i was not allowed to make the drive with him,, i knew hed be stressed,,even angry unpon his return,,when he came thu the door i was on my knees head back mouth open wide holding the heels to my shoes,, collar leash wrist and ankle cuffs,, several crops and floggers lay on the table beside the door ,, he smiled,, and took my only my leash,,, led me to big chair,,pulled me onto to his lap and asked puzzzled,,,whats in that pretty little head of yours today ??lol i told him i thought hed be pleased how i met him,, again laughing he says,, of course im pleased,,just surprised,, not my usal fight of putting you back in your place,, and i do belive im a little disapointed about that,,grinning ,,, i look into his eyes and stick out my tounge,,, feel better i ask ?? he roared with laughter ,,, well is this good slave finished behaveing herself ?? i replyed,,, oh no master,,, slave is only begining ,, a nice hot bubblebath  is waiting for you,,and 3 ice colds buds in that little ice bucket you like so much,,,,, and shhhhhhhhh ,,,, i even got you one of those cigars from your uncle you like so much ,,,he looked angry with me then,,, he didnt make you do anything to get it did he ??? nooooo master,,, id never without your permission or order,, so he leads me into the bathroom ,, i underessed him,, he slid into the tub as i bathed him ,,, had his beers as we talked about life n love and how i think this is going,,, plans for our vacation this summer actually our honeymoon we never really got,,when i turned my head he cought a tear in my eye ,, confused he asks ?? i am truely happyer than i ever dared dreamed and i leaned to kiss him ,,, the evil prick got both nipples n pulled hard,, stoping me,did i tell you could kiss me ?? angry now,, said fine,, and spit,, followed by imeadate begging ,,,  im sorry im sorry ,,, lol hes laughing ,,, now theres my little spitfire,,, and  draged me wet n naked out of the tub and over his knees,,,, yeeeeeeeeeeowwwww,,, reminder,,next time  remove that big wood hairbrush from the bathroom,,, just in case,,

oh yeah,,,just a lil story bout what a stubbron lil hard head i can be,,this was awhile back,, master was watchn one of them boreing shows bout computers and i wouldnt leave him alone,,, opps,, he finally took me into the bathroom bound me writs to ankles n closed the door,, well i started shreaking at the top of my lungs,,lol he came back in put a long cock gag down my throat,,,could barely breath let alone scream,,, so got where i could kick the tub,,, kept kicking till he came back in,, this time he whiped my pussy with a small cat o nine tails,, screaming in pain sobbing he leaves again,,, i wriggle round n now bacnging tub wiff my head

he comes back in,,, rolls me on knees face to floor,,, n paddles me hard with a leather paddle all the way down to knees,,then pees on my head leaves again,,, ok now im hurtn bad,,, all i can smell is piss,, hard to breath im sobbing softly,,, i hear him at the door ,, then i feel his fingers going into my puss,,,, fingering me hard n fast i came like its been 10 yrs,,, sprayed so hard i pushed his fingers out,,he picks me up still bound mind you,, puts me on bed ass up,,, ass fucked me for at least 20 mins,, on his 3 rd cummm,,, he flips me over n cums in my face,,,letting it slowly trickle around my gag leaking into my throat,,,, when he untied me n held me tight telling me what a good lil slut i am ,,he asked are you going to defi me any more like that ??? ,,, thu tears my only anserw was the truth,,, probly,,lol

thanksgiveing day yeikes,,, after 6 grueling hours of catering to his parents ,,( been sperated 7 yrs and still act like 2 kids on playground wanting the same ball )after they left ,,for my  saying,, for crying out loud not now when he slaped my ass,, draged me kicking and screaming on my ass by my hair  down the steps to the dungeon,,and showed me just how sore my lil butt can be,, and many other parts of body as well,, ok who am i kidding ?? after like a gazillion orgasms,, i was on the floor  knees in ocen of my twat fluid begging to get fucked,,,

sighs,,yet another batch of men that couldnt get laid in a womans prison adding sir ,lord or master to a name  not knowing a single thing about the lifestyle,,,lmao,, yeash,, shoot me already,,

putting this as a question please excuse the spelling and grammer,,, grammer patrol,,,      

 wearing a chasity belt,, im sure are some subs who just plain like it,,like myself n plugs,, i dont feel right without one,,my point here is trust,, if you dont trust your slave/sub ,, i mean whats the point of being together ?? id truely love to hear  points of views on this,,

led into a dimly lit dungeon ,, instructed to remove my dress and shoes,,, told to put my hair up into a tight bun,, in just a thong master ties my breasts tightly  so are sticking out the way i just hate,, bent over a  wood like sawhorse my wrists and ankles quickly secured  with leather cuffs ,,, heavey weighted clmaps to my nippples  ball gag ,,, master sat on a bench in front of me so he could see my face ,,, about 11 or 12 men and women  come into the room ,,, in my posistion  i feel embarrased,, they are  runing hands over my body,,, lightly slaping me,, my twat so cited and embarrased im driping thu the thin material,,, i hear laughing behind me st the site ,,,my face flush ,,,i feel the sting of a flogger on my exposed butt,, again and agin harder and harder,, then on back at same time ,,my thong is shredded from me ,,, rung out in  front of me more whips used on me,,, shreaking crying masters face pleased,,,a large dildo on a pole forced into my buttt,, the roars of laughter as i confulseing orgasm after orgasm ,,,, flooding the floor ,,,rats,, have to contine this another time,,master calls

earlyer this week Master took me to a dom friend of his place,,hed gotten a new stocks and was dieing to try it out ,, striped,, boobs tied so they stuck out like odd shaped water ballons ,, master knows i hate that look,,not to mention they get sore fast,, ickk,, they  put me in the stocks,,, lil the holes for wrists and ankles were so big i pulled right out of it,,now they are standing there thinkn  about how are going to tie off wrsts n ankles  im looking around,, i spot  handcuff type shackles on a table n i say if you  put the shackles on me  i wont be able to pull thu duhhhhhh ,,, well that got me a hard slap on buttt ,, but they tried it,, lol worked perfect ,,, go figure,,, well my idea got me a fat cock gag ,,, and a huge plug wihich took at least 10 mins to  painfully work up my butt,,, eeeeeeeoowwwww,,,nipple clamps with weights ,,, owwwwwwwiiiieeeee,,, by now the ahummmm towel hed put on floor between my legs is saturated,,, master laughed said i told you  well need a bucket,, the  domm laughed and went n got a  5 gal one,, saying lets see her fill this one up,,master laughed ,, if we have all night,, possible,,im like G U L P ,,, i hope not ,,started in a flogger then both at same time working over ass good,,,back legs,,, n eeeeeeeeeeeowuch twat,, actully hearing them laugh as the flogger litterally spashed when hitting twat ,,  the dom saying,, damm im sorry i didnt belive you ,,,by now i can hear the bucket ,, my juices hitting water n not the hard plastic bottom of the bucket,,, like ive always said master knows me very well,, removes my gag long nuff for a big drink of water from a  bottle with a huge nipple on it,, gag replaced,,   paddles were next,,,,, my bum acheing,,, burning like fire  they took crops n worked  boobs over giggleing like lil boys at my shreaking ,,, the dom takeing a long dildo n forceing it all the way into my twat,,, im cummming ,,, i can feel it spraying around the dildo as my body forces out twat juices spazeing so hard itactually hurt  squezzeing on the thing inside of me the one in my butt makeing like a acheing sena=sation,,, only way i know to put into words,,now im begging for a drink,,, blindfolding me ,,, gag removed again  the nipple in my mouth ,, im sucking ,, ewwwwww the pricks peeded in the bottle,,,  whip hitting my already very sore ass,,,  told to suck,,, ickkk,, least it was wet,, gag replaced and  i feel the burn of wax  driping on my back,,, butt ,, and so on,,finally letting me out of the stocks im kneeling on the floor ,,, just exausted,,master pulls the plug out of my butt,,, freaking owwwwwwwww hurt as much almost as going up there,,, lol,,,boobs untied and draged by arms into the other room where a single bed and bare matteress waited for their sexual pleasures on my  body,,use your imgination,,, more later

ok i knew it would happen sooner or later,, ,, master has discovered the  joy in,,, lmao ,, for him maybe,,  filling my butt wiff hot water,, inserting one of them wigggley dildos like in the jap vids,,  vibe or shock egg in twat ,,   full head harness with interchangeable gags,, and  just watch the begging ,,,

today was memorys day,,, good ones,,went thu a few months in mid 20s i thought i was done with men for life ,, silly me,,i real feel sorry for men ,,lol  im late alot,its not that i dont care,,i lose track of time when im working on looking my best for a date,,, now women just dont want to hear im late cause i lost track of time ,,,men,, they have learned to accept that,,not women they have one track minds,, its who were you with ?? rolls my eyes yeash,, like they aient never been late, lmao ,, anyway just one of my rambleings

giggleing ,,,, tried pulling im not sucking cock today with master,, ended up  in chains ,,,able to move around the house but  not use hands,, or run,, crouch chain pluged both holes,,ouchies ,,,, ring gag ,,, him and his brother ,,anyone stoped in that day used just my mouth,,, when not in use,,he kept this long cock gag in my throat,,, damm i love my master,,i soo cant get over on him

been awhile ,,, wow how do i describe this one,,bound in differnt posisitions ,, unable to even wiggle,, he puts this paste he makes up on nips n twat,, sometimes inside bumhole,,works like a super hot iceyhot,, gets really hit then cools back n forth,,but also dont leave my skin blistered like reg icey hot,,like to lose my mind in pain tho ,,had me on dungeon floor ,, bound on knees,,arms  crossed behind head,breasts bound to stick way out ,butthook with 2 balls  to hair real tight ,,,ring gag in mouth ,,caned ass to get me crying harder,, brung in 4 men tobe oraly serviced,,told me id get no relife untill they were soft,,,,omg the one came 3 times,,,then used my face n mouth as a urineal,,, finally master used some kind of a wash to relive the burning ,,,, untied me,, hung me like a swing and let the same 4 use toys in me untill id came so many times,, i couldnt move,,, i couldnt even scream anymore,,, just hung there sobbing  unable to move ,, and yeah,,, he made me cum 3 more times,,,ackkkkkkkk,, what a feeling when it hurts so bad to cummm

this is for iamworthless,,, please for a very very long time i thought the same , full of self pity and lotheing of what i am,,im not tryn to claim tobe all knowing or nuttn,, just asking you to think,,all the bad things youbeen thu,,, how many have been your own fault ??learned a long time ago to take  the blame for wrongs ive done,, stand up,, move on already ,, you can sit and wait untill the right one comes along wishing ,,well you can wish in one hand and poop in the other,, only thing your getting is a handful of poop,,get off your butt and meet people,, yeah ok you may go alot of them ,,then you may luck out fast,, who knows ?just saying your not worthless,, your special,realise it and wake up,, hugs,, never in my wildest dreams did i ever think i could be this happy ,, im hopeing you can find the same ,, good luck ,,

                                                                              licks and lashes,,, tina

wouldnt you know it,,as long as ive been on cm looking,,i found  my one right under my nose,, hes been right here all along,, ive met alot of people id like to call friends on cm,, some id call something,,but ill be nice,,some who are into the same things i am and now i dont feel like such a freak,,thank you alll you lovely people of collar me

ive had a really really hard time fully subbiting since my 1st master ,, a deep rooted fear of going back to the abuse he put me thu ,,accepting it as the way my life was ment tobe ,,,Master has renforced something ive been told for years and just hasnt heard,,, there is no going back ,only forward,every day is a new one ,as much as he adores useing me for what i am ,,he loves me for who ive become,,the warm loveing adoreing imp ,the little slut and pain freak,,the one so willing to gulp down his warm urine just to prove how devoted to him i am,, yes,, my life has changed,for the better and i move forward,will always remeber and fear my past ,but i am done liveing in it,,any of you feels you can not overcome who you were ,, please, you can just keep trying,,i did not change overnight you can too

im begging any sub or slave  that reads to listen,, if you have to lie to defend him form others calling cops for abuseing you ,, RUN,, get help ,, get out,, you dont have to take abuse,, please trust me ,, is someone out there for you ,, who love and cherish you,,, above all elese always remember your special ,,, even if your the only one who thinks so,,  ive learned you do right  in your life  ,,, your rewards will be many ,, ive personally overcome so much,, only  bcause im stubbron,,, i refuse to stay down ,, made some truely hard decissions ,, but were the best ones in the long run ,, im not just putting down words,, ive been there,,, abused  very young ,,, contineued till my 20s,, 2 attempted suisides ,, many stays at mental  hospitals ,, near completely lost my mind ,, when the abuse is sooo ,, you lose parts of your memory  big parts,, yrs,,and you regain even the bad ones,,, it  helps to give you a whole picture ,,i dont know how to phrase thoughts,,, i never went to school ,, i learned to read n write after i was 20 ,,i still try to learn something everyday,, trust me ,, is only person on the earth that can always completely count on and thats you,,, pull yourself together ,, change things,,your the only one can,,, wishing for a better life will get you nothing but more heartache,, you only get one life ,, live it happy for you ,,, everyone already  knows ,,  slaves and subs are stronger anyway,,, lol,,, we let them control us because  we do know we need it ,,crave it ,, love it,,

werid how when your hurting inside ,,, your guards are down and it all spills out,, your deepest darkest secerts,,, the ones you wont even admitt to yourself ,,shakeing me so hard my theeth rattleing ,,  why do you have  to act like a 2 yr old wacko,,, i  know theres a mature woman in there he asks,,,what the fuckn hell is your problem anyway ?? you try liveing with a genetic defect that can end your life within  a week,, no warning,, ro reason,,, just heat up and die ,,,known that since i was 9 ,,, my childhood stolen from me by a drunk,,,so much anger inside me,,, and yet another twist of fate makes me submissive ,, for the most part i keep all this inside me ,, some gets out now n then,, lol ,, thinks thats more the irish in me ,,its been a constant war inside me,,, fuck,, thats nuff to make any one loopy,oh by the way,, this image of total love of the 1st master,,, forgetaboutit,,, more memorys everyday,, mind getting stronger,,he really was a abusive asshole,,kept me in constant fear,,, how the mind lets you accept what you can deal with,,, beat the crap with fists  out of me many times,,kept me tied up till the  bruises faded nuff to let me go out of the house

i swear some days i think my head is gonna explode trying to figure life out,,, is there such a thing as not being ready to meet the one you want the most ??..  i mean this man is makeing mistakes,,, ok who dont ?? he completely forgot  valentines day ,,, i mean like how ???he aploigised profusely   today,, and yeah made my  arrival home just freaking awesome,, has alot of plans for the weekend to keep me busy,, he even called my boss  and got  me off till monday,, grins,,, but  grrrrrrrrr,,, my head ,,,any comments are totally welcome

some would consider this insane or unsafe,,, i trust my current master fully ,,even if it is only a  name to me,,naked ,, whiped,, welt s all over my body ,, gaged with a long cockgag deep into my throat,,, no noise escapeing ,,large plug streahing my bumhole open  and in deep ,,, traped arms crossed and tied behind my back tightly ,, breasts tied makeing them swell into odd shaped ballons,, nipple clamps n chain,,,,, holy crapppppppp it hurts ankles bound together    pegs added on twatlips and clit,,,  blindfolded , lifted and packed in a cardboard box ,, good 20 or 30 min ride across town,,in a open pickup truck,,,,, omg so cold

  finally into a warm place and unpacked ,, only to have many hands on my body,, slaping,, fingering,,, pinching ,,,forceing me to  cum over and over ... drools yes ,,, more soon

gotta love a  dommant man  with a chain and strap ,,,,, locked chain on collar and to a pole,, sure not going far ,, told hes swinging untill hes tired,, keep my ass out  or regret where elese it hits,,, yeah ok,,, instant wet spots

ps to last entry,, wasnt that im insane botu the cupcake,, its the fact he had to go 12 miles out of his way to get it,, and he thought nuff bout me to do it,, thats what made it so special to a simple countrygirl

1st  master ,, dinner was always 5 pm,, failure to have it ready was a severe whipn with the razor strap ,,, one evening ,,  7 came ,,went  no call,,, 8 i put dinner away in the fridge ,,, 9 ,, im furroius and yet worried sick to my tummy ,, calling everyone i knew askn is theyed seeen him,,,, 10 ,, im paceing crying,,  scared to death and mad as hell at same time,,, 11:15 i hear his truck comeing down the road,,, thinkn this better be good ,,, furroius again,,, he get to door im loaded n cocked ready to give him what for ,,,, he reaches in the door waiveing a hostesscupcake ,,, im squeling like a kid that just the bestest xmas pressy,,,   he comes in im all over him hugging and kissn him ,,, told him ican heat up his supper,, he showed me 300 dollars wed won playing poker and just plain lost track of time and higed me so tight ,,, i forgot all bout being mad,, yes,, one of the rare nights we made love and not fucked

woke up crying for brian ,,, grrrrrrrrrr,, sob left this hole in my heart i can not fill in,, his new gf,,left him already,, he slaped her around,, now shes afraid of him,, f n home wrecking whore,,,no im not going back,, he cheated on 3 times it will only continue,,

made em nuts in the dungeon today ,, one of my bad  days,, just couldnt stop myself from sticking out my tounge in defiance ,,, they tried everything ,,  arms bound behind my back ring gag,, weighted clamp,, hot souce,, pepper ,, among some things i just wont mention,, every time they turned backs,, got a few feet away from me,, out came the tounge,, opps

ok so im bent over this stand ,, being floged ,, something is being forced deep in my twat,, then yeikes,, another up my butt ,,, it hurts,, im begging  pleaseeeeeeeee pull them out ,, deaf ears ,, or dont understand gagmumbleing ,,  fucking and whiping  im going nuts,, tthen  clamps i thought gooing on my nipples,,, then i feel the surge of the tens,,, tingley at first then more n more till shreaks escape around the gag ,,,  my drool pours out of my m outh off my chin,,   snot  from my nose  into my mouth,, yuck,,, how pretty i must look,,, ickk ,,   they finally stop  and pull out the toys,,,  only to be replace by something cold,,,  then i know,,, holy crap tens probes in both ends,,  pads going on my buttocks and pelvis,, then clamps to twat lips,, omg nooo please im begging ,, unheard,, then eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiowwwwwwwwwwwww,,,, my mind raceing escape only im tied tight is no escape ,,, seamingly forever im finally released,, lying on the floor ,, twitching ,,,  my fluid still just pouring from my twat ,,, i cant move ,, i realise im free but helpless,, im picked up by 2 men carried to matress,, taken for hours,,,in everyway ive ever done b4,,  finally ,,   draged off the matress by my hair,, limp,, exausted ,,   and  oh gawddddd no,, trying to crawel away as they make a circle around me and start peeeing on my head ,,,  holding my legs and usen my hair as a mop ,,, eeickk,, ok,,, nasty ?? tell that to my retarded pussy ,, im drooling down there like i got a garden hose inside me ,,,  when i wake up,, im alone,, its cold,, but im free ,, rags of my dress on the floor ,, laying in a ocean of piss ,, i get up find my way to a door to the outside ,, open it,, its daytime,, and im in the middle of downtown,, people walking past ,,, gulp ,,,  calmly proudly like nohting is wrong i walk naked to the corner and remove the trash bag from the can ,, poke head and arms thu holes i made ,, useing what was left of my dress as a belt i walked home,, oh ps,,,, hell fucking yeah id do it again,, grins

liveing alone can have seroius drawbacks ,,went 2 whole weeks without  even a spanking once,, was several yrs agao,,  chated to this dom on yahoo late one eve,, wed chated many times b4,, he said he visting a  friend lived close to me,, so dummy me runs out to meet him at midnite alone,,, he picked me up sy yhe   mini mart on the corner ,, and starts driveing ,, hes yummy lookn ,,  hands me handcuffs,, ok like siad been weeks,, im wet instantly and put the cuffs on behind my back,,  he pulls over   brings out a gag ,,blindfold and   cufs for my ankles ,,, gropeing me lifting my dress up rips off the tiny thong i had on  and put some kind of a clamp on my clit ,,, yeeeeeeeeeeeoooowwwwwwwwww ,,, we drive a bit and the car stops,, my door opens he pulls me to my feet by my hair ,,,  slings me over his shoulder and carries me inside,,,  puts me down standing and im hearing voices being forced down onto my knees ,,, gag removed,,b4 i could say anything my mouth is full of cock,,  someone is pinching my nose an d  hes pushn down my throat  i paniced and bit,, not hard ,, he pulls out and the cuffs come off my ankles,,, my legs held open and my twat beat hard with summn i think was a belt ,,, bite me ?? you little pig,, lets see how you like a giant pain between your legs ??after several mins of this,, im  carried to something put face down so just my tummy touches it and my hands released ,,only tobe streched above my head n out to sides as my ankles were,, whats left of my dress is  riped off of me,, heavey weighted clamps on my nipples,,, hes beatn my ass with i think a flogger,, then a cat ,,, now im svreaming ,,begging ,, crap have to contine this latter

why is it when i tell people im insane they never belive me ?? ,, ok try  ,,coo coo,, loonyer than a toon,, nuts,, krazy as a bat,, or even bat shit crazy ,,,  aient no way id of survived my life mind intact ,,,im a flake ,, goes with the momment,,  lol get to know me just a lil ,,  coo coos are fun,,,

walks up to this tall dreamy dom,,, blue eyes sliceing thu my thin black dress ,, he puts his strong arms around my waist and pulls me close to him leaning his head down as he pulls my head back by my hair,, im expecting a deep kiss and he spits in my face  ,, as i reach up to wipe my face he lets go of hair ,slaps face hard ,,, leave it he barks,, hand back to pulling hair,,, leans down  lips to lips kissng me deeply  ,,, stradddleing his foot i peee,,,, by time he notices and pushing me back,,, what the fuck is your problem ???  im laughing,, and i spit at him,,, i see this fire rage in those blue eyes,, then im on my knees face to his shoe,, you put it there,,, lick it up he barks,, holdn me by the hair ,, i feel sharp stings on my bare bottom,, fucker had a  strap in his back pocket ,,, few good shots on my exposed twat and im licking ,, lol ,, opps another  idea gone bad,,

just my humble personal opinion,,bear in mind  call it a curse or blessing ,,ill never bear children,,therefore been able to live a extreamely permisscuious life,,point is  stop dreaming  and live,, the only one that can change your life is you,,get off your ass and stop waiting for this big change to fall on your head,, youll wait forever

once again the dweebs have gotton to me,, sighs,,deep breath ,,, for all the horndogs,,please i can get laid by whistleing out my front door,, i dont need to travel hundreds of miles for that,, yeash ,,,really hates to break your lil bubbles,,,your not the worlds greatest lovers,, or you wouldnt be on this site  hounding anything with a full slit ,,,fact,,, 1 in every 50 men knows his way around a twat with his tounge ,, i find it hard to belive i get  all 200 of you in just one evening  mesging  me,,and i guess while im on a pointless rant ,, again,, sub males ,,your wasteing your time,,i am not interested,i try tobe nice about it but i swear yall thrive on rejection and being rude ,, im sorry to anyone that deserves better,, but all sub males will go stright to blocked

why is it some people just wont take a nice polite no as a anserw ?? i was tought tobe nice to everyone i meet,, but hell come on now ,, so many old men lookn for a kinky lover and  im just plain not interested ,, i try not to be rude but they wont stop,, oh gawd ,, and the young boy masters,, lmao,, even worse,, hey you know what ??? i can live without your dick,,,i mean like yeash please,, if its so great ?? why you hounding me ?? go down to the highschool,,im sure you find some oversexed  cheerleader will take you ...

im hearing so many men whine about being rejected by all the females,,, pros with no picture are not taken seroiusly ,, bottom line 60% of them are married or  otherwise involved,, 20% of them are not who they are portraying,, are young boys  without parent supervision hopen to get some dumb cunt on cam,,( why do the rest of us have to babysit your kids ?) ,, be a parent take the pc,,10% are so geeky they couldnt get  laid in a whorehouse with 100 dollars bills hanging out of everypocket,,, the last 10% of the no pic profiles are just the ,,,, sigh,,, i wannabees, and for petes sake if you think your dick pic is the most interesting part of you ?? please do not waste your time messageing me

thanksgiveing day ,, sighs,, just reminds me of my lil brother ,, im tiny ,,hes huge ,strong as a bull and a mean streak like the ex when angry,,just membering how many times hes protected me,,lol ,, once we 2 boys harrassing me in a drug store, lifting my dress up and makeing comments about my  thong and myself ,, very rude comments, the  woman at the counter told them to leave and  they gave her the finger just as guess who walks in,, lmao ,, when she said they were harrassing me he took them both out the back door and  showed them how impolite they were ,, when i  peaked out they  both had heads in the sewer,,, i like to laugh my head off,,lil brother just went on his merry way,funny how he always seamed to feel when i needed him,, anyways,, that went both ways ,,when i met my girlfriend kelly i knew from that momment she was the perfect slave for him ,, introduced them and they hit it right off ,,  rarely apart for 9 months then travis asked her to marry him,,they live in cal now ,, im a aunt ,,beautiful baby girl ,named tabithia

im hearing alot about once meeting the subs are not what they claimed they were ,,now i know im going to piss off alot of doms and dommes,with this,, please consider the mental state of most subs  ,,are not zakley the most stable people ,,tend to be true to that submissive nature and tell people what they want to hear,, even belive it themselves,,then they find out when put in the actual situation and the brain clicks on,, it is not what they wanted , it does not mean you were intentionaly deceved ,just means you may have led them along to a place they were not ready for ,,just my unwanted opinion,,, least not we all forget,,, a woman has to compete in a dommant world these days,,its not easy to maintain that true submissive nature,,does not mean its not there,,just means the doms have to get off lazy butts and work a lil to bring it out ,, lol

sorry,,the smart ass sliped out there

recently read some pretty disturbeing journal entries,,one of which said i wish i was prettyer ,, these kinds of things dont happen to pretty girls ,,, dont you ever belive that,,neing pretty cute young has brought me more heartache than good,, the ones i fell in love with and didnt work out were my fault ,,, i was crazy ,, it wasnt my looks got them ,, it was who i was inside  ,,thats what they loved about me,, only i was too dum to know that ,,too shalllow ,,whatever name you want to give it ,ive been cheated on,, a pain id never pass to another human,, if your unhappy with yourself,, trying to kill yourself is soooooooo not the anserw  ,, i know  tried twice ,,, yeah over cheating men ,,go figure ,,the last one i was withh for 18 months beat me up so many times i was begining to fear this was my place in life,, tobe  his punching bag ,, i loved him that much i was willing to just keep takeing it,, it took him moveing a very pergnant girlfriend to wake me up to what a fool id been,,, are some things you cant fix no matter how hard you try ,,, all im saying  you dont have to be that covergirl tobe beautiful in someones eyes,, its who you are on the inside that counts the most  to someone,,be yourself always ,,be true to you and you too will have your knight in shineing armor ride up on his white steed and resue you from the world ,, ok im rambleing ,,, kelly i love you ,,

                                                                                           cissy

iam so very sorry hasnt given this update sooner,, totally rude of me ,, maam is doing very well,, the tumor was  bloodclots from a leaky vessle they couldnt tell untill were in there,, she is recovering rapidly ,,

another kinda nilla  date ,,, a gf talks me into going to a local rodeo ,, now i dont know what went thu my goofy head bout this,, i wore a short tight denium skirt  tight black tank and my cowgirl boots with my hat ,,, a neat look but not for a family type thing  ,, had to were a thong the damm skirt climbed when i sat

anyways  were like 4 rows up from the ring and this mmmmmmmmm cowboy had his eyes on me the whole time ,,, id sliped my thong off and threw it at him as he rode past and he damm near ran over a clown catching it,,, opps,,  so now its over ,,,oh by the way i was standing at the railing and no one saw me throw it but him,,,   he rides up to where we are sitting and throws his rope around me ,,  gently pulls me down the  rail ,,,  and tells me to get on,,  like ive siad many times,, im not zakley bright somethimes

 the cheers when i hoped on ass fully exposed,,, opps ,, he quickly rides off and we go behind the trailers,,,  hell hes off the horse lifting me down and sliping his cock in my puss at the same time,,, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hawwwwwwwwwww,,, puts me down on a hay bale and hes going at me yelln im gonna bred you baby and cumms in me

im laughn so hard  near bucked him off,,,   hes got hold of my hair and rams his mmm big long cock down my throat ,, and im suckn,, now any  woman loves to suck can tell you,, feeling it get hard  in your mouth is such a mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sensation im soaked ,,,  he pulls me up by the hair and slaped my tits hard ,,,  pushes me face down bent over the hay bale  and rams it up my butt  holdn my face to the prickly hay   slapn my hips yelln move bitch

 several more hard slaps and im crying  ,, hes pounding me so hard felt like if i opened my mouth hed pop out ,,,    lucky for me he was a quick poper and came in my buttt ,,,,  again with the hair ,, pulls me up onto my knees slaped my face hard suck it

  down my throat again ,, just bout time it was gettn hard again ,, im choken on summn,, hes peeing in my mouth ,,,, im coughn,, chokeing  piss spraying ,, he pulled out slaps my tits so hard several times,, im cryn hard hes tell  me swallow whore and peed some more ,,, im gulping it down now ,,,   pushed me down on the wet ground and just got  his horse no pants  and rides off,,, now just how stpuid am i ?? by time i got myself cleaned up and got back to car with my gf,, he rides back up and tells me sorry ,, i took off so fast,,, i just told my wife im leaveing her for you ,,,, i went with him,, it lasted all of 3 days ,,,, im such a tard

was asked if anyones ever excited me more nilla like ?? hell yeah ,, tall,, muscular ,, mmmmmmmmmm  ,, i mean  yeash im still a woman,,,  met this guy  a couple yrs older than myself back when i was 25 ,, i was traveling thu indiana stoped for night at this motel ,, air on my car broken,, hottern hell out,, i went into the bar before checking in, standing at the bar was this omg ,,, 6,6 short dirty blonde hair ,, steel blues eyes,, them kind that cut right thu your clothes,, and here i am wearing baggy shorts and a  old t shirt flipflops,,,  i order a glass of bud  and  downed it ,, was so thirsty ordered another 

he came right over and asked me if i was new round there,, the useal chit chat,,, icoldnt take my eyes off his eyes,,, giggled alot whichis so not like me ,, asked me if i likedto swim,, imlike ,,, id rather swim than eat,, invited me to  a friend of his had a big pool,, im like what the hell ,, so i went  ,,  wernt there2 mins  lol he pushedme in the pool anddove in,, tossed his shorts out of the water ,, pulled me to him and b4 i knew it my top n shorts were on the  paito and he was in me,,rare i cummm so hard so fast without some kind of pain,,,kissing him was like magic,,his arms were so strong i felt so safe,, lol still inme he carries me into the house  into the bedroom and lay me on the bed ontop of me and mmmmmmmmmmmmmm hours,,, cant even member how many times i came ,, was ina euporic world ,,, woke up  was dark,,,realised was like 4 am,, i sliped out of bed and foundmy clothes   got in my car and drove off ,, sighs,,,

to cut down on the question of why ,,, former owner has a brain tumer,, will be operated on monday ,, why im going to germany ,,,i will accept no less than she will be fine

soooooooooooooooooooo bored doing naked summersults up and down the aisleway

been getting alot of mesgs of doms into makeing slave wear diapers ,,, wtf ?? is up with that ?? just remember,, you maybe able to make me wear one,, but if it takes me a year to do it,, one day you wake up to a pooped one on your head ,,, keep that in mind

Why do i keep geting mesgs from the lonely heart club.. With dom master in his name ? 4 out of every 5 of you wouldnt know which end of a cat to hold let alone know what it is. ..If your lookn for just a kinky lover move on.

the ex,, mmmmmm he was 6 3 280 pounds of muscles ,, had a scar ran down the right side of his face from his forehead to his neck ,, beer bottle in a fight at 17 ,, oh he beat the poop out of the man ,, he got involved when the man was usen a belt across the face of a young girl ,,anyway,, just getn ready for work one thursday morning ,, the phone rings,, its a gf from down the road hes seen leaveing the trailer of the local hooker ,,, day b4 payday scratching change for cigs ,, oh im just furrious,so angry,,why he need a hooker i the 1st place ,was no sexual act i wouldnt have done for that man,no or tired was not a option with him,,so now,, hes comeing up the steps to the deck ,, i pops out the door and swings a wood kitchen chair as hard as i could ,,hit him right in the face ,, set him on his butt at bottom of the steps ,, standing on the deck yelling crying jabbering so fast nothing coherrant comeing out ,,hes laughing at me blood gushing from his nose ,, when i finally got out what i knew ,, he really started laughn at me ,,  calmly says babygirl ,, whats today  ?? im lost, thursday ?? more laughing,,, its your b day babygirl, her bf has owed me 50 dollars for months now and i was collecting it b4 he put his paycheck up his nose,my mind raceing,, why today ?? then it all clicked ,, months ago i seen a  dolphin necklace with matching earings in town ,was 45 dollars ,, may as well been 4500 to me,,, he smiled said jake has it under the counter for me ,, i dove off the deck onto him,, hugging kissing apoligiseing for thinking that of him,, hes still laughn ,, looks at me ,, isnt anyone on this planet as sexy as you are babygirl,,,   got him cleaned up and went to town ,hed already called me off for the day ,, we stoped at the bar on way  home so i could show off my necklace ,, by then he had 2 good  shiners,, everyone asked him who the hell ??? laughn as hard as he could pulls me close,, killer thought i was cheating on her,,, they all thought that one the hoot of a lifetime,,,  just wants yall to know life with him wasnt all bad ,, the good far outweighed the bad

id like to make something very clear,,, MARRIED men stay away ,, i will do everything in my power to make sure your wife finds out,,that said,, the woods is not a dungeon ,, once in a while diversion,, but not your personal playroom,,, yeash,,ickk bugs,, gross,,i dont know why i cant get my interests to post in this goofy site,,, so ill try like this ,, other than no blood or bruises  that can be seeen tomarrow,, pretty much anything goes,,im there to have you put a collar on my neck,, ive given my body to use to do as you see fit,, its that simple,, this will not happen from a few exchanged messages,,may happen first real face to face meeting ,,, ( im such a slut ) i am interested in dungeons ,, has a real thing for them,, that does not mean i want to be chained or caged the rest of my life like a animal,, you want that ?? try the pound ,,they gots lots of doggies and kittys looking for homes,,i want to say are alot of related things to this life style i do not like ,, that does not mean i dont ,, not my choise now is it ??i like to play rough,guess im sayn ,, if your lookn for a kinky gf ,, friend with benifits ,,a one night stand ,, a diversion to life,, keep looking ,,

humilliated in public does not have to be  actual sex,, just in case are a few newbees aient figured that part out yet,,master brian,, took me to his country club ,, all of the  guppy dressed yes guppy ,, the whole bunch of fish egg suckers do not deserve the word yuppy,,thin halter dress and heels,, yes,, one of the many buttplugs i have,, this one was pretty red jeweld one,,he took my hand  and led me into a side room from the bar ,, put on my collar and a blindfold,, told me touch it ,,  hed parade me naked to the car ,,took my dress left me unbound,, just held the leash as i heard men come in,, many men,, i felt hands on me,, pulling ,,slaping, fingers in my mouth ,, ass and pussy ,, rough ,pulling,,exploreing me like they saw  a woman before,,all jokeing and laughing ass fingers from butt an d pussy were put in my mouth to clean,,then they were gone ,, my collar and blindfold removed,, he handed me the dress,, told me to get dressed showed me the rest room to pull myself together and meet him at the bar,,oh he is just evil,, i came out of the ladies room,, now had tobe near a 100 people in the bar area,, i had to make my way thu all of them to the bar alone,, not knowing who had even seen me naked ,, let alone touched me ,, know about how far im willing to go ,,by time i got to him at the bar i was in tears ,, embarrased everytime a voice sounded right ,, a steare at me blushing ,,,he took me in his arms ,, unoticed put his hand to my pussy and he smiled ,, walked me to the car,, the parking lot is in the back and not very well lit ,he knew how badly i needed him then,, and yes,, he roughly put me face down on the hood and ramed me in the butt knowing hiow bad i wanted it in my twat,, laughing as i came and came ,,, he knew i was mad,, i hate cumming from only anal,,after so many orgasms, he also knew id settle down ,, enjoy the ones im haveing ,, and yes,, i sucked him after like im expected to do,,on the ride home my simple act of holding his hand while he drove myhead on his shoulder,,he knew i was content.

wow ,,just when you think your talking to a true dommant ,, you find he was no more than the rest ,to you older wiser masters and doms,, when a younger sub/slave is not attracked to you ,dont be angry at her,it is not her fault she came along so late in your life,rude and unsavory comments are not nessary ,, she has feelings too some more than others,,just try putting yourself in her place ,, would you want to wake up to a sub/slave in your bed  20 to 30 yrs older than you ?? all i ask is to show your are supeior and use your heads

wow,, ive elvolved once again ,, i am now able to submitt somewhat by simply cliping a leash to my collar ,, chain ones seam to work best,, this may not seam like much to most,, is a big step for me

the sooner you half wits figure out ,, submissve/slave ,, does not mean,, Hos R Us ,,,, this is a bdsm site,, not a lets meet for kinky sex form ,,requires trust , comittment ,, respect ,,you get none of the above with a one night stand ,, so perves beware most of you i wont waste my time responding

she has 4 broken ribs and a leg,, hes staying with her untill shes breathing easyer

well met ,, he asked me if id wear his collar,, then his phone rang and he flashed,, his sister was in a car accedent ,, hasnt heard as yet how she is,,,  im takeing it as a bad sighn for a relashonship

what is about a man haveing your hair wraped around his hand ,,, twisting pulling your head anyplace he wants it ,,,  forceing my face to the floor and licking up a mess as he just beats my ass blood red ,, yes ,, it excites like no tomarrow,,i know im not alone in these feelings,,all i can say is ,,, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yes yes yes

ive beenasked so many times to tell what it is i seek ,, problem is how do i tell what i do not know,,is like im two entirely deffernt people ,, my brain hates pain,,it hurts duhh,,my body however craves it ,, guess who wins ??when my master ,, hurts me ,, whips,, tortures me ,,, i get this fullfilled feeling inside,, like  my tears ,, my shreaks of agony ,, begging for his mercy ,,ive fullfilled his need ,,,yes,, i crave his praise, how happy ive made him,,makes it all worthwhile ,,looking for a man,, that wont hesitate to use me either as a pain or sex toy when and where the mood strikes him,, yes daily whipings ,, many times a day if it so suits him,,ok in front of others,, humillateing me,, letting them see the tough lil bitch is just a act for the scared lil girl,,pain,, somehow strips away any inhibitions i have ,,hurt me good,, and yes,, ill lick your ass drink your piss or any other  nasty discusting things you crave,, its like ,, ive no longer a free choise in what i have to do ,,at least im finding out im not the only woman to have full powerfull orgasms from anal use only ,,, altho im still extreamely embarrased about it,, at time even angry ,, but the real men know how to end that nonsence,,, i work my butt off to keep my body fit and clean ,, i feel is my duty tobe clean and fresh for my master inside and out at all times ,,i trust him not to put marks on my body that wont be there tomarrow ,, so he has a fresh canvas to work with ,, devencie didnt tear up his canvaas to paint master peices,,i expect to sleep next to my master,, not in a cage or on the floor ,, if you want a dog the pound is full of them,,i expect to be part of his life,, take care of his needs ,, a degree of nilla,, but always hes the boss,, the final word ,, even if its with sore breasts the argurement is over ,,i just know  somewhere,, is the happy medimum of the dommant i seek ,, ill never stop trying to find him

my sirs had me hanging by ankles  spread wide ,,, gaged,, wrists to a floor ring streched tight ,, after a good 30 min whiping ,, ramed huge toys in both holes,, blindfolded me,, put some kind of a plug in my peehole,, then i heard voices,, other men were comeing in and examineing me  pokeing pinching slaping ,,, soaked in sweat,, and my own fluids,,laughn   ,,driping wax on my twat ,, around the toy in  my butt ,, my shreaks into the gag ,, they were bidding on me,,,, all offers were refused ,,, they left ,, later my sirs asked my feelings,, i was scared out of my mind,, i thought you selling me off,,, they laughed,, that was the idea,, the men were just friends of theirsbeen begging to see me up close ,,, blushing,,

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i hate makeing entrys and them not posting cause i get the fuckn word wrong i mean like really,, what bot is going to post jurnal entrys sheeese

ive been asked about one of my  over the edge eposides,,, maam and i were grocey shopping in new mex,, iwanted a box of sugar smacks cerial,,, she told me no,, you have 7 open boxes in cubbard now,,when those are you you may have more,,, i sat on the floor at the top of my lungs yelling i want sugar smacks crying kicking like a freaked out 2 yr old,,, scarey thing, i could see me doing this,, i was powerless to stop it ,,, maam finally slaped my face hard and snaped me out of it ,,i was so embarrased i wouldnt even look at anyone ran out tothe car and hid on the floor of back seat was still bawling when dhe came out,,should anyone read this has had or delt with same experance ,, and has some insight,, please contact me

my 1st master ,,  was insane ,, i was young,, just as nuts,,if i annoyed him too much at the bar we hung out in,, hed take me into mens room  strip me,, after a good belt whiping to wear me out,, hed tie me on my knees between 2urinals where one was missing,, a cardborad sighn over my head ,,, use this one ,,, pull hair to open ,,

i get a kick out of how these doms all want to protect me,,, protect mefrom what ?? the torures they inflict on me,, the whipings ?? the training ,,, im confused ,, and my biggest question of all,,,, who thehell is going to protect them from me ?? ( grins)

just came back from a run with the big truck ,,,, still wearing my work clothes, they both met me at the door put me on my knees by hair,, just bout riping it out,,,  ordered me to not close mouthand soaked me in piss,,, gagging chokeing ,,, ok crying too,,,  told me look at this mess,, drop your pants ,,,  beat me hard with   crops as i licked up the floor ,,, told me ,, now go clean your nasty ass up and get backhere with just collar on ,,, yesssssssss ,, my pussy was soaking wet ,, not from the pee,,, lol,, ok i am crazy,, maybe

for those of you interested in why i left cm,,, saterday july 2nd i was at a bbq ,, of a smal bdsm club,,, sunbathing topless on the deck ,, on my back ,,  2 doms walking past checking  me out ,,, the older one triped ,, grabing hold of the younger one,, both slowly falling ontop of me ,, the older ones face on a boob,, others head between my legs ,,,, now the others in the group not knowing me very well at all ,,as im new to this group,were agast thinking i was going flip out or something,,,  i just giggled lookn at em and said,, well hell you could say hello first,,afternoon of chit chat n lots of beer ,, i woke up in bed between them ,,, and ive been here since ,,, still has only my bikini bottomes to wear if i needed to go out of house,,clueless where the bra is

they asked me to drop my pro,, then th e news of ex slave returning so here i am again,, still haven a blast here till she returns