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| Greetings to all. I am a forty year old male slave and am here at the bequest of my owner. It should be noted, that while i am here on CM and welcome any communications from members of any stripe, i am Her fully owned property and am completely unavailable to ANY others. That being said, i am a very happily kept slave who is in chastity nearly permanently. Her property currently resides in a classic Birdlocked device (to be upgraded to a Mini in the relatively near future). At Her insistence, i am required to refer to Her as Master. While this may seem strange to some, it makes perfect sense to us. As time is passing and i am slipping into an existence where normal male sexual practices are very much out of my reach, our gender roles have become somewhat reversed. While, this is not manifested physically, i am certainly evolving into the passive partner. Some may notice that my profile name is a little different. One of Her favorite sayings is kismet - in reference to how perfectly we are in sync most all of the time. In creating this, the play on words 'kizpet' is a nod of acquiescence to Her. I've enjoyed this road immensely so far and truly feel i have found my true self within it. As She has told me more than once, this is only the beginning...
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First true milking
Before i begin, i ought to say that a little over a month ago it was my time to do this and i made an awful mistake.
It was really my first attempt, and used a smallish curved dildo in hopes of stimulating my prostate - in the end it turns out i didn't have a milking at all, but an anal orgasm.
It was not very far removed from the effects of a normal male orgasm, powerful for sure, but with the inevitable emotional and physiological letdown.
For men who orgasm on a regular basis, either through sex or masturbation, this i imagine is somewhat diminished. For a male in full denial, it's as intense as the feelings that arise from the denial itself.
In effect, the higher the high, the lower the low when a chaste man does have an actual orgasm.
For me, since i without question have a very strong drive to be kept and remain without - the post orgasm time is especially unpleasant and emotionally draining.
Enter milking...
This time, i donned the rubber gloves, lubed up and began. Pressed my finger against my ass and it slipped right in.
I should say that as tine has gone on without, any real gratification of my male areas, i'm finding any stimulation - especially anally, wonderfully stimulating and truly pleasurable.
Then came two fingers, and they went in so easily i couldn't quite believe it - the anal training i've been doing for Master has certainly paid off!
Almost immediately, i found my prostate and started gently massaging it. Was hard to a certain degree in my device, but after almost ten minutes it subsided quite a bit.
Slowly, i could feel something was starting to happen, and quite a bit of precum was coming out, followed by the rest.
In all, it took about a half hour. Could feel my gland becoming a bit bigger as it went on, becoming more of a pump than anything.
Then it slowly slowed and stopped - i was completely empty.
I didn't feel any different - nothing like a normal orgasm at all. No letdown for sure. In fact, aside from the feeling of the pressure inside of me, there was nothing i could associate with a release at all. It was very much a needed draining - without any of the usual, and detrimental effects of a man releasing his 'load'.
As i saw it slowly coming out of what by the end, was a mostly flaccid part of me, it struck me how little i missed it.
Compared with the usual and fairly mundane way i once had, i really feel this is a far better way - at least for me.
A lot of questions have come into my mind regarding the nature of my own sexuality, even the makeup of gender itself.
What i do know is that i may appear quite male on the outside, but what lays within is very much the opposite. |
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As I have gone on quite a bit about my chastity to Master, i felt that i should speak at least a little bit on about the device i am secured in.
I am currently secured in a Birdocked 45mm Classic.
The overriding reason i chose a silicone device is that i work in a profession where a great deal of contortions are necessary - not to mention the risk of a fall. I don't want to slip and risk damaging the boy bits now, do i?
Were this not the case, i almost certainly would have chosen a hard model of plastic or more than likely stainless steel.
So far, i have nothing but glowing praise for it. The fit and feel are fantastic, as is the security. The only downside is that it's, of all things a little large on me.
The cage portion, has a bit of space in it and as my body has adapted, the ring could stand to be just a touch snugger.
This may well not apply to everyone, but in my particular situation, the Mini model is certainly the ideal.
It would preclude even the possibility of any erection at all and for all intents and purposes remove any male sexual function from my control - in my mind, not a bad thing in the least! |
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It's been a little over 1 month now - more like five weeks, and i thought it would be good to write a bit about my progression into an existence (and very happily, i should add) as a fully chastised slave.
I had dabbled and toyed with chastity on a completely voluntary basis for a number of years. Mostly due to never being able to find an amicable/interested Domme partner, i never engaged in it in an enforced manner.
Then about a month and a half ago, i bought a silicone device as was the desire of my Master. I positively couldn't wait to put it on. For the first time, i really had no choice in the matter - and i realized it was something i completely thrived on.
The first few weeks were nothing too unusual - going that long for my own personal explorations and edification had been something i'd done a number of times before. What really struck me was the constraint. I no longer had the option of an appreciable erection (though, i'm now looking forward to not even having that) of any meaning and any touching there has only a cursory effect at most.
Week three rolled around and i started to notice that things were changing. My submissive feelings were really increasing, but more than anything else, i was enjoying and positively feeding off of being emasculated. Not just a little, but beyond belief. I felt as if i had really found my way home.
I noticed that i was starting to lose control of my arousals. They were coming completely out of the blue and there was simply nothing i could do. After a few days, things started to subside somewhat, but i'm now completely reactive there. Any thoughts, feelings, anything Master says to me that even subconsciously turns me on, sends it going in it's cage.
I never knew that doing this would prove to be such a powerful and indeed wonderful thing. The truth is, i'm looking forward to it being the way i am kept - period.
Almost makes me wonder what the big thing was about normal male masturbation in the first place. |
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Woefully overdue in journaling, So many thoughts and feekings racing through my head can barely keep up with them.
Will be remedying this very soon. |
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| Age: 27 |
| Franfurt,
Germany |
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