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kittenheels1968
Slave / Dom Couple, 48/59,  Durham, United Kingdom
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kittenheels1968

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Friends:
Gondor angmar SissyNortherner HumanInstinct linger1776
sirseeksaslut Ironside69 TheStrongMaster Dragonians

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 kittenheels1968

 Slave / Dom

 Durham 

 United Kingdom

 02/21/15

 09/15/20

Primary Partner:

Gender Identity:

Sexuality:

Orientation:

Height:

Weight:

Age:

Ethnicity:

 Female

 Pansexual

 Slave

 5' 6"

 165 lbs

 48

 Caucasian

Secondary Partner:

Gender Identity:

Sexuality:

Orientation:

Height:

Weight:

Age:

Ethnicity:

 Male

 Hetero

 Dominant

 5' 11"

 207 lbs

 59

 Caucasian

Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

Switch Women

Male-Dom Couples

 Lives For:

 Shopping

 Collars

 Spanking

 Whips

 Sewing (Expert)

 Loves:

 Art Galleries

 Beachcombing

 Fine Dining

 Movies

 Museums

 Musical Theater

 Travel

 Camping

 Anal Play

 Blindfolds

 Bondage

 Breast Binding/Play

 Canes and Crops

 Corsets

 Fisting

 Gags

 Hair Pulling

 Leashes

 Needle Play

 Orgasm Control

 Shibari

 Vibrators

 Watersports

 Science Fiction

 Tattoos

 Mathematics

 Poetry

 Writing

 1950s Household

 Lifestyle BDSM

 Victorian Household

 Heavy Metal Music

 Rock Music

 Likes:

 Amusement Parks

 Coffee Shops

 Gambling

 Opera

 Renaissance Faires

 Volunteerism

 Dancing

 Begging

 Electrical Play

 Humiliation

 Massage (Getting)

 Obedience Training

 Stockings

 Vacuum Stimulation

 Wax play

 Arcade Games

 Card Games

 Comedy Shows

 Historical Shows

 MMORPGs (Expert)

 Online RPGs (Expert)

 Role Playing Games

 Sitcoms

 True Crime

 Cooking

 Drawing

 Archaeology

 Low Carb

 Classical Music

 Eighties Music

 Opera

 Pop Music

 Punk Rock Music

 Tolerates:

 Antique Shows

 Bar Hopping

 Flea Markets

 Garage Sales

 Corner Time

 Horror Movies

 TV Sports

 Curious About:

 Cages

 Chastity

 Enemas

 Exhibitionism

 Eye Contact Restrictions

 Local BDSM Community

 Hoods

 Knife Play

 Medical Play

 Mental Bondage

 Munches

 Outdoor Bondage

 Sensory Deprivation

 Speech Restrictions

 Strap-Ons/Packers

 Suspension

 Dislikes:

 Raves

 Fire Play

 Foot Worship

 Objectification

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

 Public Play

 Role Playing

 Rubber Fetish

 Theatrical Scenes

 Swinging

 Hates:

 Clubbing

 Diapers

 Gas Masks

 Housework

 No Strings Housework

 Pantyhose Fetish

 Queening

 Serving as a Maid/Butler

 Tickling

 Female Supremacy

 Hard Limits:

 Diet and Exercise

 Veganism

Fetlife same name as here. i am there more than here.

there must be a reasonably local, reasonably attractive couple out there somewhere who would get as much pleasure from playing with us as we would with them!

i, kittenheels1968 abase myself at the feet of my Lord and Master and await his pleasure, however he should chose to acquire it

i am his, now and always, mind, body and soul. His pleasure is my pleasure, his desire is my desire, complete surrender of all i was.

about me

very much a little girl

pain slut

slut

intrigued by blood, not huge amounts, just trickles

rope

bi-curious

mildly exhibitionist

needles

electric play

whips and floggers

bruises



about him-

my world

badmandave



I am a very happy little girl, I met my DaddyMaster on cs, february 2015, at first he was simply a very supportive friend, helping me through a nasty potential break up. once the breakup was a fact, and i told him so, he said well then you have no excuse not to meet me now and i agreed. we talked a lot in those first weeks, i told him much about myself and life, and he in return talked of his. out first phone call happened a week after my prior relationship ended. that phone call lasted 3 hours... we met on grand national day in 2015, he picked me up from my house (i know, giving your address to someone youve never met...) he got out of the car, and i walked out of the house, down the path, and my very flared skirt was caught in a gust of wind and i basically stood there, trying to keep it down, in full marily monroe mode! he told me recently that hed thought all his christmasses had come at once!

he collared me on my birthday that october, and i signed my slave contract that xmas.



we have had our tough times, he struggled to accept that it was ok to let me into his heart, he was afraid (i know right) of the commitment of what he knew i ultimately needed - marriage. and he freed me on January 18th 2017 because of that fear.

but he found that fear of not having me was greater than that fear... (pussy) and although we tried to remain friends, it seems we were not meant to be friends

we had been in each others company often since our break, not least because he was teaching me to drive, and took me for my test on the 30th (passed, flying colours)

and on the friday (3rd feb) he brought his laptop to me to fix for him (IT illiterate) and we also discovered i had a flat tyre so he drove my car to the garage to have it fixed (driving on a flat is very difficult) and afterwards i drove us to durham as i wanted to practice some of the bigger busier roundabouts and junctions with someone who could rescue me if i panicked.

we had lunch, shopped, and had fun (he dragged me into the mens loos and tried to lock me in a stall!) we both felt it, our needs, and when we got back to mine, he tested me, by pretending he was going to pull my dress open and peep down inside... i stubbornly crossed my arms and told him he couldnt

then he took my face in his hands and kissed me

i kissed him back, briefly, ok more than briefly, but i pushed him away, said it wasnt fair, and kicked him 6 times on the shin....

hed asked me was there any way i could see us living together without marriage as an end result. i said no, not now, i would always feel not quite good enough for him.

he went home

i went to my friend for support, advise and tea.

we joked i should send him the link to Beyonces put a ring on it

being a bit of a brat, when i got home, i did just that

and he replied i might just do that

a little later he asked me if he could see me Saturday morning, he had something he needed to do in town

we went to Darlington, and he took me to a jewelers, and bought me a beautiful engagement ring, and matching wedding band, ready. put them in his pocket (sulk)

he took me to a crowded cafe for tea and cheesecake

and after wed eaten, he pulled the table out of his way and got down on one knee...



there was a chorus of awwwws and OMGS and happy chuckles...


and my ex-Daddy, er Master


became my Fiance


and Daddy again

and Master again

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Journal Entries:
4/14/2018 2:52:03 PM
it was mine and Master's 3 year anniversary this week, i had been at work on the morning, but finished early enough to go through his afterwards, stay over and spend the following day with him. i arrived at tea time, and he was waiting for me, Master is not a particularly 'romantic' man, although he is very loving and caring, sexually he is more ...aggresive, i guess (which i adore, 'making love' has never particularly done it for me) but as soon as i arrived he grabbed me, kissed me deeply, again and again, .. i was like jelly.. he then used me, of course, roughly and possessively, just how i need to be used... 
the following day we were DIYing as usual (doing the house up ready for me to move in) and unexpectedly he 'took' me again, including a whipping of my tits and ass, he has been trying to train my ass to open at his touch, but it is stubborn and just wont do it, so when he was fucking me he decided that it would be the last time he uses my slit until his birthday, in July, until then he will use only my ass and mouth... and maybe then my stubborn ass will learn to open when he wants it. 
i thanked him, i need this, partially because i need to prove to him that i am his toy, there for his pleasure, not mine, my own pleasure is derived from satisfying HIS needs, not my own, and partially because i am disappointed in my inability to train my ass. so i will have to be patient, and frustrated, for the next 2 months, because lord knows he loves to tease me, i am sure i will have quivering lady-bits and aching inner muscles, daily, and by the time he does use me there again i guess i will be ready to pop... oh i adore him, he is God to me.


3/23/2018 3:22:41 PM
very sore boobies, puss-puss and bottom hole today, Daddy played with his toys, not quite hard enough to break them, just hard enough to make me cry. Happy little fucktoy. 

punished too, with very hard whacks on the puss-puss, it is so hard to hold my legs open wide when i know what is coming, but Daddy will not tie me down even if i beg, he much prefers to see the battle in me trying to obey and open wide, whilst quivering, sobbing, afraid, cos it hurts so much, he made me scream, and cry harder than i ever have, but i was good and even though i struggled, i opened them and took the beating. when i say he hit me hard, i mean really really hard, so hard, it burned. when he was done, i was sobbing like a child, curled at his feet, wrapped in his ownership, begging him to promise it would never change, that i would always be nothing but a worthless cunt, living to serve my Masters needs. 

i have never been so loved, cared for, and happy in my life.

3/7/2018 1:48:49 PM
Daddy likes to educate me on ancient history, which I find a little boring, as when I'm in little space especially, I tend to sulk and refuse to listen, so imagine my delight to discover that historians have got it all wrong! Cos apparently the trojan war was won because the army built a giant wooden unicorn and filled it full of fairies! My Daddy told me so, so it must be true cos rule #1 is 'daddy is always right'

2/28/2018 1:38:39 PM
daddy and i are dieting, we have both gained a bit of weight since meeting, sir got me on the scales, cos i didnt believe i had gained weight, and i was horrified to find i had gained over a stone since we met! so for the last 3 weeks i have been on a low carb, high protein diet, and so far i have lost over half a stone! i have met my first target, to get under the ** stone mark, my next target is the weight i was when we met, which is another half stone, and then my third target is to get below that **stone level (another 4 pounds) so a total of 20 lbs i guess, and this will return me from the size 14 i was 3 weeks ago, to a size 10 ! daddy's weight doesnt bother me, but i guess if he lost the same as me we'd make a rather adorable couple!

we go on holiday end of april, and at my present level of weight loss i should be down to below my second target, which will make us both very happy....and require a major shopping trip, cos all my clothes will be huge on me!

2/17/2018 11:53:00 AM
daddy bought me earrings for valentines day, real silver, and real padlocks Heart Padlock Earrings Sterling Silver Earrings-Vintage Heart Padlocks in Sterling

2/17/2018 11:48:15 AM
my new t shirt, i will wear it when its too chilly to be naked, at Daddy's house, with my yes Daddy panties ! or probably without the panties... (you need to click view journal to see ed pictures)
Image may contain: one or more people

2/4/2018 2:10:56 PM
today is one year to the day when my Master asked me to marry him, happy anniversay Sir, may this be the first of many anniversaries we share xx

1/7/2018 1:50:21 PM

occasionally my mind wanders and i think about how frustrating the world has become, how roles have smudged and merged and become almost unrecognizable. and how people, couples, are so miserable. the job i work in i get to chat to a lot of people, and i have come to realize this : the majority of couples i know are stuck in a rut, they have little respect for each other, rarely, if ever, have sex, stay together, as far as i can see, because they're used to being together/scared of being alone/dont want to give up the big house, new car, holidays ... most claim they stay together 'for the kids' but thats bullshit, its an excuse, its them trying to sound like a martyr to their family...
most of all i have noticed this... the women dont seem bothered their sex lives have died... the men are, the men are frustrated, i know cos of how many have tried it on with me...
and from my own past experience in vanilla relationships i think it goes something like this...
he didn't help make tea tonight or wash up, even tho i'm tired too, so i'm in a mood, and when we go to bed and he starts touching me, i am secretly still mad so i say no-too tired, and expect him to know why i am mad, but he doesn't cos he isnt a mind reader.
next day he's frustrated cos his balls ache, and his only option is yanking off in the bathroom... and he's feeling unloved and neglected, so when he comes home he zones out in front of the tv, and ignores me... we go to sleep facing away from each other...
we each resent the others apparent 'selfishness' so we each with-hold affection, neither will offer the other a cuppa, or a glass of wine...
and so it spirals, and tho we dont realize it we are at war... a war of he didn't/she didn't.

but in my world now it is different. when i am annoyed with him, yes, i sulk, i DO all those things, BUT, He doesn't stand for it. he takes me by the throat and he says 'who owns you' he clicks his fingers and points to the floor, and i drop to my knees, he tells me 'get my cock in your mouth now' and i suck until he fills my mouth, and then i place my forehead on the ground at his feet and beg forgiveness... because He is the Master, i am the property, and therefore there can be no conflict and no spite, and no battle of wills...

i feel sorry for the vanillas, trying to be 'equal' when there is no such thing, even if the balance of power fluctuates, one is always Dominant, one needs to always submit, accept your differences, put them aside, serve - or rule - but make your choice (even if tomorrow you switch)


11/29/2017 11:55:30 AM
my surrender is more and more complete, i literally woke from a dream where i had my face buried in Masters arse, tongue deep inside, and i woke up mid orgasm. and the last 3 times i have slept with Master he has held me close, stroking my back and letting me nuzzle into his neck while he talked of simple things, not always sexual, mostly just of how well i am doing in my descent into full slavery, and i have begun to whimper and grind and he has told me 'yes sexy, come for me' and it happens, firstly a small orgasm, but the fact that he triggered it with a simple command triggers a second harder one, and then a third, even harder still. 
we talked into the early hours last night, of how total this has all become, and he has promised me that the next time we have significant time together (in 2 weeks i have a week off) he is going to begin to train me to drink his piss, i hope and pray that he means it, i need it, to show him how completely i worship him, worship everything that his cock produces, need to serve him there, believe that even that is too precious to be wasted, i have begged that he will allow me to be there every time he needs to empty, to clean him when he finishes if nothing else. i need to be allowed to demean myself completely in his service, and to feel absolute pride in doing so. to work up from the last few drips, to taking it all, and lapping up any spilled drips from his feet. 
and the same week we hope to complete my labia piercings, and replace the exsisting ones with a larger gauge, so that we can work towards locking away that hole completely, because i do not need it, because it is a selfish hole, and i do not want my Master thinking i am selfish with my holes, lock that one away, keep it for when Master wishes to reward me for especially good behaviour, and allow his slave to serve with her 2 other cunt holes, as she was created to do so.

and i have a wish to present to him, and do so now, and here for all to read.

Master please, a tighter reign on me, to assist me in transitioning from the work bosslady mindset to the owned property one, a proper respectful greeting routine, NEVER to be neglected, to be ENFORCED on every meeting in private, and with a simple publically acceptable version when not in private. i beg this, i need this, but i have no right to ask this, as i am only a slave. 

11/18/2017 1:37:31 PM

cutest thing my Master/Daddy/Fiance has ever said to me...

we were working on a bay window fitted dressing table and he was unscrewing a stay, i stepped back a couple of feet and he asked why, i said
because you need to see, and i was blocking the light
he said
you are my light

he never says soppy stuff to me, how adorable was this?


10/29/2017 3:27:48 AM

yesterday Daddy came to mine, and i greeted hm as usual, naked, and kneeling in the bedroom, i was feeling particularly slavish. he cuddled me and stroked me for ages until for the first time ever, i begged to be allowed to suck his cock. I have a feeling that is something he has been slowly training into me, and it was another little breakthrough for me.
my birthday is today, but unfortunately i have to work, se we celebrated yesterday instead. Daddy spoiled me rotten, with a beautiful new pandora bracelet, with 3 heart charms in silver and rose gold and an adorable tiara charm, cos i am his little princess. plus a sapphire ring, and 49 lashes with the horse whip, one for each year of my life... rough sex and whipping and gagging on his cock, there is nothing better than the release of real tears and heartfelt sobs as Master uses me like the 3 hole cunt i was born to be. thank you so much Daddy.


9/22/2017 2:13:57 PM

Master gave me a beautiful beating this morning,

hmm

whip - whipping
cane - caning
belt - belting

but you cannot really say

crop - cropping, cos that suggests something getting cut off!

however, he used 2 riding drops, first a smaller single ended one, then the larger longer one which has 2 pieces of leather one on top of the other, i dont even know what its called!

he beat me until my bum was literally numb!

it was beautiful, i feel so much peace and so safe afterwards, curled up on the floor at his feet, wrapped in a blanket, while he strokes my hair, and my back, and tells me what a good girl i am. i am so in love with my Master


9/21/2017 3:13:35 AM
new forum at https://www.kinkaholic.com/members/home 

8/29/2017 11:48:54 AM
i find endless deions of sexual acts a little boring, and believe it is much more fun to let the reader imagine that part themselves, but none the less i have a truly filthy mind and some very dark and demeaning fantasies, i just wrote this one tonight, it is, as always, a gift for my Master, but my Master is not selfish, and wont mind me sharing

earning her keep.

‘it’s time you began to earn your keep’ he had said, taking hold of her by her upper arm and guiding her to the wardrobe door, which he opened with his free hand, he slid hangers across the rail one at a time, a look of concentration on his face, finally stopping and removing his choice, a black dress, very short, very tight, high necked with a lace insert which stretched from just above the nipples to a plain black band which would cover her day collar.

‘this’ he said handing it to her. Silently she took the dress and put it on, covering her nakedness, barely.

‘shoes’ he pointed to a pair of heels, quite plain, high, uncomfortable things which accentuated her calves, and hurt if worn for more than a few minutes

Her hair and makeup were already done, she’d not long been home from her day job, and only needed a little touching up. He handed her red lipstick, which she applied and handed back to him. Replacing it on the dressing table he stood a moment eyeing her up, a slight sneer on his face.

‘car’ he said, and she silently turned, left the room, descended the stairs, a little precariously in those heels, and waited at the front door which was, at present, locked.

He unlocked it, pulled it open and waited for her to exit.

In the car, she sat, knees together (never crossed, that would earn her a slap) eyes downcast, hands folded in her lap. He drove in silence, occassionally glancing at the girl beside him. It only took a few minutes to reach their destination. It was a house in a fairly public street, nothing elaborate, 3 up 2 down, your typical family home, small courtyard to the front, curtains closed, loud music seeping through the windows which were just slightly cranked open on this warm summer evening.

He got out and walked to her side of the car, held the door open for her, and she stepped out.

‘time to earn your keep’ he repeated the earlier words, and she raised her eyes to his face questioningly.

‘you do as you are told, you do not say no, the only rule is, no marks, your skin is to remain unblemished, understand?’

A little panicked now ‘Daddy?’

‘YOU DO AS YOU ARE TOLD’ he snapped, ‘you make me proud, understood?’ ‘you do EVERYTHING they demand and you DO NOT RESIST’

He grabbed her arm once again and almost dragged her up the path, stumbling in her heels, to the front door, where he rang the doorbell and waited.

The door opened, a man, in his 40’s perhaps, stubble of the kind which says ‘look at me, I am so cool’ he looked her over and grinned, ‘the entertainment is here guys!’ he shouted over the loud music and laughter coming from inside.

Her Master placed a hand in the small of her back, and pushed her forward

‘make me proud sweetheart’ he said softly, and turned and left her there.


In the living room there was a cloud of smoke, the smell of whiskey, and a half dozen men of varying shapes sizes and age. Another door stood ajar, and yet more voices on the other side of it.


She stood there trembling a little, surrounded by men appraising her openly. The one who’d opened the door stood close behind her, his breathe on her neck smelled of cigars and alcohol.


‘ok boys, heres how it goes, money in the jar on the mantle piece if ya wanna play, and apparently its no holds barred, she’s a real goer!’

A cacophony of ‘woohoo’ ‘yeah’ ‘I’m in’ and men rifling their pockets and passing a jar around, stuffing notes and handfuls of change into it. The room was becoming crowded as men gathered from the other rooms in the house, she’d have counted but she genuinely couldn’t, she was dizzy with fear and realisation.


Her dress fell away at the neck, someone had undone it, and someone else was tugging it roughly down, so rough the fabric tore, and she let out a panicky squeek, which apparently amused a few of the men.


‘remember what your Master said’ whispered close to her ear, as a hand gently cupped her breast, ‘we WILL hurt you, but we won’t HURT you, understood?’ she turned to look into the eyes of the whisperer, calm gentle eyes, holding her gaze, she nodded. And stepped out of her torn dress as he held her hand to help her. ‘be good and your Master will be well paid, he told me to tell you, you may cum’ instant submission, eyes downcast and pussy wet and quivery, nipples hard as bullets. ‘good girl’ he said ‘such a good girl, now kneel’

She literally dropped to the floor, automatically spreading her knees wide, feet together, hands behind her back, mouth open and ready.


‘oh yes, such a good girl’ he said as he undid his fly.


And hour and a half later, the last of the men finally satisfied, and she was once more on her knees, eyes glazed, rocking a little back and forth, head lilting to the side, almost in a state of hypnotism. And a blanket was wrapped gently around her shoulders, as she was heped to her feet and led to the door, on the doorstep stood Master, stern expression, waiting. The guy who’d whispered reasurring words just whenever they were needed held her with one arm wrapped around her waist, in the other, the torn remnant of her dress wrapped around a glass jar of money, which he handed to her Master.


‘well?’ Master asked


‘you lucky bastard’ said the man


Master grinned, chuckled, and said ‘I am that mate, I am that’


He took the little bundle in one hand and walked away leaving her to follow helped by the man with the stubble, naked all but a blanket, he sat her in the passenger seat of Master’s car and strapped her in.


The drive home happened in a daze, Master had to almost carry her into the house, blanket slipping from her body, her nakedness shocking the pizza delivery guy who had just pulled up 2 doors down. It didn’t matter, Master didn’t care so she didn’t care.


Once inside he laid her on her floor cushion, casting aside the blanket.


‘little girl’ he said ‘little girl, talk to me’


She opened her eyes and took a moment to focus on his face


‘good’ he said ‘back with us’ ‘how many were there?’ he asked


‘i don’t know’ she said ‘ a lot’

He laughed

‘how many times did they cum in you, and where?’

‘i don’t know’ she said ‘a lot, everywhere’ she gasped, a small sob broke free

‘its ok baby, its ok, you did good, how many times did YOU cum’

She looked him in the eye

‘Daddy, I came, I came so much, it wasn’t you but I came and came’ she began to cry, big heaving sobs, tears streaming

He slid from the sofa where he’d sat, to the floor beside her, and wrapped his arms around her, cradling her so gently

‘yes baby I know, and its ok, its ok, I will beat you for it and you will be forgiven, its ok, its fine, but first we have to get all that cum out of you don’t we?’

He laid her down gently, as her sobs abated, and opened her legs, she did not resist. Her cunt was swollen from use, her arsehole red and visibly damaged, of course.

In one hand he held a small bowl, in the other a small spatula, with which he slowly and carefully scooped out the mess inside of her cunt. A dozen or more mens ejaculations, all mixed up together with her own juices. On her ass he used a small plastic syringe, lightly coated in lube to make insertion easier, but she whimpered none the less. When he was done the bowl held quite a surprising amount of frothy white gunk.

‘come now sweetie, all done, sit up now, nearly time to show Master who really matters, but first, supper’ she pushed herself up into an almost sitting position and looked at him in confusion as he held the bowl to her lips, ‘all of it sweetie, then we will beat you, put Daddy’s marks all over that beautifully unbleamished flesh of yours, and when Daddy thinks you have made amends for all those stolen cums, he will take you upstairs, into the bathroom, and let you show him how sorry you are…are you thirsty princess? Daddy has been saving his piss all night for you’

8/29/2017 2:51:37 AM
 
just spent a couple of days being used and abused, some seriously nasty beating with a metal ruler, and some ass stretching and pussy stretching, couple of pics of the bruises, sorry they're quite dark, they were taken late at night in muted lighting








8/16/2017 2:05:10 PM
i am finding, more and more, that when Master is using my holes, i don't want to cum (no i dont mean it doesnt make me cum, i mean i choose not to cum) i consider it selfish to cum while he is using me for HIS pleasure, and i fight the need and beg him not to let me, so when he feels me nearing, he withdraws and waits a moment before continuing. and once he is done, and i am curled up either at his feet or in his lap, the taste of semen still in my mouth,, drowsy and in that place which is neither quite subspace, nor quite sleep, and my body begins to relax, then i feel the pressure building, and i begin to moan a little, and wriggle a little, and he knows why and asks me do i want to? and i say yes please, and he says go on then, let it happen, and that is when i cum, while he strokes my hair, or holds my wrists, and i writhe and press my thighs together, and whimper and moan and with nothing touching me anywhere personal... i cum. 

8/13/2017 11:41:58 AM

why is it the so called Doms who think this is just about sex also have a total lack of bdsm ownership etiquette?

take this guy for example,from the eastern cape SA, and his profile pic is a dick pic (yet another red flag in all honesty) i won't name and shame but here is the conversation so far

his opening remark entitled 'kiss' - Prove worthy to serve as my slave for life

my reply - Dude I am already OWNED, and since my Master enjoys owning me i doubt he'd give me away!

him - 💔I would not do that either, you would suck/lick/swallow my dick/balls/ass/cum/pee/scat while i fuck your 3holes and being an expect in fisting

me - no i wouldn't matey, i BELONG to someone else, now leave me alone and learn about proper etiquette before i put in a complaint about you

i really want to give these uncouth arseholes a good shake and possibly a castration


8/1/2017 9:33:34 AM
step one in my new training plan

i was up earlier than Master, and when i heard him moving around i quickly popped in the kitchen to make his breakfast, he only has cereal, toast and coffee, so it only took a minute, and i met him in the hallway as he came downstairs, he hugged me, and said 'you need to go get in the shower right now, cos i need to whizz and i can't hold it much longer.' i am not sure whether i went pale or blushed, cos this obviosly meant he was about to begin my training to be his piss whore... at last. 
in the bathroom he quickly removed my sleeping cuffs and collar, and waited while i positioned myself on my knees in the cubicle. he drenched me, but not my face or mouth as yet. when he was done, he had me suck him clean, first real taste of masters piss, and the promise that there will be more.
thank you Master for making another dream come true x

7/30/2017 1:28:00 AM
browsing profiles i came across a lady from london with a mention in her profile of the following site
http://bdsminternational.org
i must say it is a very proffessional looking site, easy to read and navigate, and i hope it will take off as well as here and fet! the more access points for our people the better right?
so i made an account there and intend to keep an eye on it, i hope you'll all join me

7/20/2017 10:59:37 AM
and another creation, 4 days off, house full of fabric off cuts and thread, but sooo worth it
Image may contain: one or more people and people standing

7/19/2017 12:29:14 PM
and another creation

7/18/2017 6:35:30 AM
talking to Master over messenger and made a request of him, which was something we have talked tried once or twice, about but not begun as a regular thing, and he decided if i want it i must write an open letter, here, begging for it, and i asked may i list all the things i crave? please note, we have and do, occassionally, ALL of these things, this is not a fantasy list, this is an open request to make these things a part of my day to day service and surrender.

here goes

Master

i your humble and devoted Cunt-slave, ask, nah beg, that Master consider the following requests of further submission/surrender/degredation for Cunts' service to you.

that Master allow his cunt to accompany Him to the bathroom whenever he wishes to relieve Himself, where she will kneel beside him in her assigned position, with the knowledge that He may, or may not, allow her to clean him, that He may, or may not, require her to accept some of his water as his blessing bestowed upon her, as his sign of ownership and control, or as a reminder of her place beneath him. That he may place her, instead, in the shower where she will accept the flow over her, inside of her, or fed to her, as the benediction of her Lord and Master and understands the honour he does her in so bestowing. Cunt will endeavour to accept an increasing amount each time with the view to eventually not spilling a drop. it is this cunt slave's desire that such a thing become a daily ritual.

Cunt requests that Master consider allowing her to consume a mixture of her Master's bodily fluid and juice/water during the day.

Cunt requests that her Master understanding that cunt is unworthy of equality and should not be allowed to assume the use of the same facilities as her Master, and therefore refuse her use of the bathroom on occassion, instead putting her outside in the yard when she needs to pee, so that she will understand and know without a doubt, that her dignity may and will, be removed at his whim. cunt believes that especially during fine weather, there is no need for her to be allowed to use the bathroom when all that is required is bladder release.

Cunt requests her Master accept her suffering at a more intense level than as yet attempted, Cunt wishes to bleed for her Master, Cunt wishes to be brought to uncontrolled sobbing, and allowed to continue suffering without the mercy her Master usually shows her. this is something Cunt craves and needs, the tears are purifying, and the bruises and the welts are marks of honour which she treasures. Cunt craves further use of needles in the labia, both outer and inner, further use of nettles/chillis/ginger so that her suffering may entertain her Master.

Master has always been careful not to use phrases such as 'rape' as he knows his cunt slave has had a difficult past, but now she wishes to ensure Him that although she will always willingly submit, and therefore it is impossible for her Master to rape her, she craves the violent use, and the word. she craves choking, smothering, stretching.

Cunt has a desire to accept her Masters fist both vaginally and anally, and apologises for having failed in the past, if her Master will persevere she promises to try harder.

Cunt feels a failure whenever Master needs to clean himself after using her anally, even though she uses a douche, therefore she requests Master to take control of the issue with the use of a full enema session whenever he wishes extended use of cunts arse. cunt understands this will be humiliating, and accepts that it should be so, as a punishment for requiring it. 

cunt wishes her Master to understand she considers the following as correct titles for her body parts
mouth - primary cunt
arse - slave hole /slave cunt
vagina - slaves greedy cunt

cunt wishes her Master to confirm that her mouth's first and foremost purpose is pleasing her Master and no other use may ever be considered equal.
Cunt also wishes to thank her Master for thr training he has so far bestowed upon her, having taught her that her own fulfilment can be acheived better through giving Master pleasure than receiving it herself, so much so that she now is able to cum from serving with her primary cunt, indeed cunt feels guilty for needing to come when her Master is using her greedy cunt, and in truth, disappointed when he allows her to cum when he is in that hole. cunt believes only her slave hole and her master own pleasure should be allowed to give her orgasms, her greedy hole should be controlled and preferably locked away.

in closing i wish to state, i worship my Master, to me he is more than human, to me he is the sun and moon and the stars. i offer him all that i am, all that i could be. i withhold nothing. i have the soul of a delicate and gentle creature and i beg my Master to handle it as such, whilst he uses, abuses, hurts, and even scars, my body.  

7/18/2017 5:33:23 AM
new dress just finished today, 12 hours solid work, and vry complicated! 

7/13/2017 3:35:24 PM
incredibly bizarre and rather worrying, my mailbox feed keeps showing someone elses mailbox!! literally i could read their messages, a mommy and little boy in early stages of relationship... i had to log out and back in to get my own feed back!

7/12/2017 2:14:24 PM
Reading through recent journals and just so disappointed by the number of self professed 'superior' dommes, declaring that 'not one sub/slave on here is worthy' because they won't adhere to her ridiculous demands.... And every third word she types is miss-spelled, and her grammar is about worthy of the average fifth former. How could anyone be expected to gain instant respect for such a creature. Pathetic.

7/5/2017 1:47:58 AM
more excited about Daddy's birthday then my own! gonna spoil him rotten today

6/30/2017 3:10:56 PM

How it came to be

 

I have been replying to a few threads about slavery and the Daddy/little relationship and it made me think about how I came to be what I am, so I thought I’d write a few words about how I came to be what I am, namely a little slave with masochistic tendencies…

 

Firstly I need to say I grew up in a loving working class home, with nothing weird going on, no abusive uncles, no beatings, not even a spanking, ever. Mom was firm Dad was fun, and Dads displeasure was a truely painful thing, no, as I said, he never raised a hand, nor his voice, but the look of disappointment on his face tore me apart inside.

 

I believe what I am was born in me, not created

 

I played ‘you show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ with friends, girls, not boys. But the closest I got to girl on girl was touching tongue tips with my best friend once, aged about 7 or 8. lol

 

I was never afraid of pain, I wasn’t the type who cried if I grazed my knee, I’d walk through thistles and gorse without much more than a wince. Nettles I avoided, cos it itched.

 

About the same time I had this odd thing I liked to do, it sort of gave me a feeling of power… I would deliberately walk barefoot over lego, toy soldiers, even gravel…

 

My parents had arm chairs in the kitchen diner, I’d sit on the floor resting my head against one of their legs and I felt warm and fuzzy and relaxed like this.

 

A few years later before I had any sort of sexual desires, I would lie in the bath and soak a sponge in the hottest water possible and press it to my ‘fru-fru’ then swap it for icy cold, I had no idea why it felt so good.

 

I’d stitch my finger tips together until the skin was tattered, but not bleeding, just very tender.

 

I never ‘self harmed’ I just sort of ‘self hurt’

 

I was a pretty child, kind, clever, even if I say so myself, and my teachers had me helping kids who struggled to learn to read, hence the boys who were ‘bullies’ and ‘rough’ liked me, and looked after me, not one boy in my school ever stepped out of line with me, because there was always someone a little bit dangerous who’d step in front of them, fists clenched and ‘don’t even think about it’ on their lips.

 

I married at 19, a soldier, who was very protective, very old fashioned, gentlemanly, just a year older, he nicknamed me gigi, which he said was because of my green eyes (green goddess-G-G) and I called him Daddy-lamb-chops or DLC I know now that the ‘lamb chops’ bit was to make the Daddy a joke rather than the scary public opinion of a bdsm Daddy, not that I’d heard of bdsm or anything like it. I never saw it back then. We didn’t do physical bdsm, but we did do some role play and he did control me, but not in the right way and not with my consent, and when I wanted to do simple things, like go to a colleagues baby shower he would bully me for days until I was too distraught to go… unfortunately neither of us knew what was going on, there was no internet back then. I left him when he beat me for objecting to his relationship with another girl which was the talk of our friends circle, unseemly whether innocent or not, I still suspect not… unfortunately I was screwed up by then, nightmares every night, low self esteem, etc

 

I remarried a couple of years later, a guy who was no threat to me, saw me as some sort of alabaster goddess not to be defiled, but safe and comfortable, and he gave me my 2 wonderful kids, and I was content. Until my father died, and I realised I wasn’t living, my kids were my life and when they grew and left I’d be empty. I’d developed an eating disorder, it was horrid.

 

I did manage to get him to spank me though, initially it was a few swipes during sex, it helped me come.  and we moved on to a riding crop, I was really accepting the pleasure of pain. But it did nothing for him, he did it for me, and that was no good, I needed him to need it.

 

Then I met a guy in an online war game, a natural Dom, though not an actual Dom if that makes sense, he too wasn’t into whips etc but he tried it for me, and was surprised to find he loved it, he bacame quite a good Dom in the bedroom, with a few out of the bedroom traits. But when I mentioned I get a need to use the word Daddy he was horrified, so we never mentioned that again.

 

It was an on off relationship, he’d move in with me, leave me (usually a few days before xmas) and go back to his hometown (I now know he kept returning to his ex wife)

 

During one of our splits I began talking to an old friend from my late teens/early 20s on facebook. I don’t remember how the subject was broached but I told him I had submissive tendancies, and my need for spankings to the point of bruising… omg, best thing I ever did. Turned out he was a full blown Dom, and bless his heart he directed me here and the other equally well know Ds site… he mentored me, for years, without price, we’ve never ‘played’ damned good man that!

 

I had one bad experience, we learn from these, and a few amazing ones. Between the comings and goings of the afore mentioned cheating bastard :D

 

One Daddy remained a close friend until his recent death, taught me a huge amount about myself and about how a Dom should be, he said ‘once I have taken on a submissive, it doesn’t matter what happens, I have a lifetime responsibility for their wellbeing’ (unless they cheated of course)

 

When the disastrous on off relationship was finally crumbling I began chatting casually with several people, one of whom stood out, supportive without judgement, listened but gave no opinion, only asked me questions which made me think deeply, told me about his life and asked about mine, couldn’t spell for toffee and apparently his keyboard doesn’t have punctuation marks… but a real intelligence there, a worldly knowledge I found awe inspiring. By the time I was actually single he knew everything I knew about myself, and I suspect saw much I had no idea of. And when I told him the twat had finally moved out… he simply told me I had no excuse not to meet him then…

 

He knew I needed a Daddy because I’d told him, he knew I wasn’t a role play little, or a dressy up/play with dollies type… it wouldn’t have worked for him either, for both of us it is more that he needs to guide and protect and discipline and teach, and for me it is the need for cuddles curled in his lap, to sit on a the floor, head on his thigh, while he strokes my hair silently, and to be brought back into line when I brat out, which I certainly do… he loves that, not the bratting out, the way he can with one word or one glance bring me from sulky stompy brat into instant acquiescence, on my knees, tears of shame on my cheeks. Its not an act, it is the inner child subconsciously testing her boundaries to check they are still there. The one thing I cannot bear is to disappoint him.

 

So as you see, everything that makes up what I now am has roots in my childhood, ones that were not planted by experience, but which were born inside of me and which lay buried and suppressed until something or someone wakened them.

 

Though on a side note, I am not sure where the desire to become a piss whore comes from, or whether that will germinate the way the others have… perhaps there will be an update to this sometime, lol. 


6/29/2017 3:13:26 PM
When I am not with Master, my favourite part of the day is when he texts me my bedtime. Just knowing that he is making sure I get my sleep,and that it matters to him, he could send me to bed at 9pm and I'd happily obey

6/18/2017 3:30:07 PM
Daddy gave me such a thrashing today, there was bits of broken cane all over the bed! Well that's what you get for saying 'im trying to cook dinner, if you want to talk to me get off your arse and come in the kitchen' ... Yep realised my mistake instantly by the look on his face. Lol

6/10/2017 6:49:34 AM
its almost disheartening reading profiles on here, especially of new members. its like

monday the 1st - makes profile, registers as submissive - hi i am new here, no idea what i am looking for, submissive tendaencies

tuesday the 2nd - under consideration (ie some asshole wants to make sure no real dom gets chance to speak to me)

wednesday the 3rd - changes profile type to 'slave' - writes 'now the proudly owned slave of (insert name). 

thursday the 4th - some bizarre stuff about proving herself to said random dom with humiliating pictures

friday the 5th - seeking sister sub to serve Master alongside me...

if you wouldn't MARRY a man after a week, then DON'T TAKE HIS COLLAR... and stop being so desperate ffs.


5/22/2017 1:20:26 PM
Daddy and I just had our first proper holiday together, we spent a week in Malta, in a little hotel in Bugibba Qawra. I have never been to Malta before, but Daddy goes at least once a year with his diving clubs. He hired a car and showed me all the places he loves there, the places he dives, like the blue grotto. oh my lord it was so beautiful. and we met some lovely local kinksters too! had great fun at a spontaneous roof top party thrown by a couple we hadn't even met... no, not THAT sort of party... you dirty minded bunch! 

I never wanted to come home! in fact i am afraid i was a terrible brat the last day, i think i was probably pouting. and i know i still have to pay the piper for a few minor transgressions...

unfortunately the heat, the sunlotion, and my allergies meant he had to remove my collar temporarily while we were there, he had to pick the lock with a belt buckle, cos the daft bugger forgot to take the key with him! I felt a little lost without it, but it is back where it belongs now. 



5/3/2017 11:50:38 AM
this week i had a bit of a shock, sad news which shook me up quite badly.

my previous Daddy, with whom I had remained friends and whom had been a pillar of strength whenever i needed him, has died.

i knew something was wrong, i had last spoken to him in September,he usually checked up on me every couple of months, to make sure i was ok and happy and ask about the family etc, and we were still Facebook friends so we'd occasionally 'like' or comment on, a status update. but he hadn't replied to my last few messages, and there'd been no activity on his Facebook since we last spoke. i was worried, so i did something i don't normally do, and i checked out his sons pages, both had pictures of themselves with their dad as profile pictures, but no mention of him, or comments by him, BUT i did see one thing, a link to a 'memorial match' with the club Terry played rugby for... i clicked it, and the he was... turns out just days after our last conversation he was playing rugby and collapsed on the pitch. 
As  my Daddy said when i told him, he died doing what he loved best, and i would imagine its just how he would choose how to go. but he was only 48 years old...

so this update is a memorial of sorts, to a wonderful man, a great Daddy Dom (though not the right one for me) his profile on here is still active and many of my friends will know him too. 

Tel - one of those anchor's in my life who has been and will be, missed.

pretty sure he's sat on his little cloud, smoking a spliff and watching whichever rugby match takes his fancy. 

RIP Tel

xxx

4/26/2017 2:24:35 PM
little bit of holiday shopping today, took a warm coat cos it started out so cold, but got to Darlo and it was gorgeous so i left mine in the car, Sir left his sweater but wore his jacket, couple of hours of shopping, and lunch and it started raining! well don't anyone try and tell me slave's are to be considered less important than their Master's cos mine took off his coat, put it on me, and walked around for the next half hour in a t shirt, getting wet, cold, and worshipped (by me) i felt like the luckiest little girl in the world, totally drowned in Daddy's huge coat, and with the biggest grin ever... happy little fuck-slut

oh, and drove there, and back, with a boob out, he insisted it would help my concentration...lol

3/27/2017 2:01:16 PM
today i was 'summoned' to Sir's house, apparently he had an 'urge' ...

by the time his 'urge' was satisfied i was rag-dolled out, curled up on my cushion on the floor and slept for 2 hours! 

then i had to drive home, i swear to god i was not on this planet and drove home on auto pilot!

feeling so relaxed and fuzzy and glowy, and lots of other things ending in y

happy little fuck-slut

3/6/2017 10:31:09 AM
saw this on a friends pic list and stole it, lol, tho i did at least message him to say i was going to ... (if you can't see the picture, click view journal to see it)


2/26/2017 3:56:08 PM
the bruising from my latest labia piercing, its quite painful, i think there must have been scar tissue from the previous piercing as the needle met some resistance going through, and master had to push really hard! 

2/24/2017 1:40:47 AM
a few months ago one of my labia piercings lost its ball closure, turned in the hole and caused irritation and swelling, before finally dropping out (i didn't realize what was wrong, just thought i had pulled it and hence the discomfort) i couldn't re insert the jewellry so had to leave it to heal. last night Master re pierced it, using a horseshoe shaped ring and replaced my others with the same type. my pain threshholds have lowered recently (due to lack of pain infliction lol) so i screamed, squeeled and cried, but as always i remained still on the table, kept my legs wide open, and accepted the pain as an offering to my Lord and Master. it bled quite profusely for a while, but this morning there is very little pain, so i am happy. 



2/20/2017 9:18:55 AM
just spent 2 lovely days with Daddy, lots and lots of cuddles, and lots and lots of ouchies too. strung up and whipped, paddled, flogged, and generally treated like a piece of meat, just how i like it. 
also made cushions and seat pads for the window seat, and cut the fabric ready to make his new curtains.
happy little girl

2/5/2017 12:03:11 PM

 

I am a very happy little girl, I met my Daddy/Master on here, just about 2 years ago, february 2015, at first he was simply a very supportive friend, helping me through a nsaty potential break up. once the breakup was a fact, and i told him so, he said 'well then you have no excuse not to meet me now' and i agreed. we talked a lot in those first weeks, i told him much about myself and life, and he in return talked of his. out first phone call happened a week after my prior relationship ended. that phone call lasted 3 hours... we met on grand national day in 2015, he picked me up from my house (i know, giving your address to someone you've never met...) he got out of the car, and i walked out of the house, down the path, and my very flaed skirt was caught in a gust of wind and i basically stood there, trying to keep it down, in full marily monroe mode! he told me recently that he'd thought all his christmases had come at once!

he collared me on my birthday that october, and i signed my slave contract that xmas.

 

we have had our tough times, he struggled to accept that it was ok to let me into his heart, he hwas afraid (i know right) of the commitment of what he knew i ultimately needed - marriage. and he 'freed' me because of that fear.

 

but he found that fear of not having me was greater than that fear... (pussy) and although we tried to remain friends, it seems we were not meant to be freinds

we have been in each others company often since our break, not least because he was teaching me to drive, and took me for my test (passed, flying colours)

and on friday he brought his laptop to me to fix for him (IT illiterate) and we also discovered i had a flat tyre so he drove my car to the garage to have it fixed (driving on a flat is very difficult) and afterwards i drove us to durham as i wanted to practice some of the bigger busier roundabouts and junctions with someone who could rescue me if i panicked.

we had lunch, shopped, and had fun (he dragged me into the mens loos and tried to lock me in a stall!) we both felt it, our needs, and when we got back to mine, he tested me, by pretending he was going to pull my dress open and peep down inside... i stubornly crossed my arms and told him he couldn't

then he took my face in his hands and kissed me

i kissed him back, breifly, ok more than breifly, but i pushed him away, said it wasn't fair, and kicked him 6 times on the shin....

he'd asked me was there any way i could see us living together without marriage as an end result. i said no, not now, i would always feel not quite good enough for him.

he went home

i went to my freind for support, advise and tea.

we joked i should send him the link to Beyonce's 'put a ring on it' 

being a bit of a brat, when i got home, i did just that

and he replied 'i might just do that'

a little later he asked me if he could see me saturday morning, he had something he needed to do in town

we went to Darlington, and he took me to a jewellers, and bought me a beautiful engagement ring, and matching wedding band, ready. put them in his pocket (sulk)

he took me to a crowded cafe for tea and cheesecake

and after we'd eaten, he pulled the table out of his way and got down on one knee...

 

there was a chorus of awwww's and OMG'S and happy chuckles...

 

and my ex-Daddy, former Master

 

became my Fiance

 

and Daddy again

and Master again

 


2/4/2017 6:21:39 AM
well its been a monumental week for me, and i hope my friends will be happy for me, and those who have said how sorry they were when Dave and I split up, how they'd followed our relationship and always thought it a match made in heaven, will be especially happy...

Image may contain: one or more people and close-up

he decided that actually he liked it, so he put a ring on it

i feel like cinderella

1/30/2017 5:30:19 AM
guys, i totally  ROCKED  my driving test!! 

go me, go me, go me...

1/26/2017 2:51:10 PM
my ex (badmandave) took me for a driving lesson today, i am pleased to say there was no awkwardness, no nastiness, we had a laugh, i drove well and we have agreed we can move on to be the best of freinds. and he has said some lovely things about me too. 
ok so he cannot offer life commitment, but any girls out there who require some training with no other expectations, he's your man... 

1/24/2017 2:05:43 PM

please Doms, (and Dommes) accept that not every girl on here is looking for a Master, some of us are here because they have friends here, some of us enjoy keeping in contact, in a PURELY FRIENDS ONLY way with others of a similar mindset. it doesnt make us fake, it doesn't make us 'not real' actually it might make us the most real people on here, because we are not pretending to be available only to cut contact when it gets too real.

 

i was only freed from my service to my previous Master on January 18th (coincidentally the same day my vanilla marriage finally became dissolved - decree absolute arrived on the 20th)

 

i am not going to go into details of my private life at present, for many reasons, not the least of which being respect for my previous owner, he wasn't able to commit to what he had hoped to offer, and he freed me... that's enough said. i wont be posting anything about new Masters (should it happen) because i know it would hurt him and i have no wish to do that either. 

 

all i will say is that I am NOT open to offers

 

friends i am open to, but step one toe over the line of propriety and you WILL be blocked instantly.

 


1/18/2017 3:11:01 AM
well its over, apparently its not 'me' its his inability to commit, well fair enough, but next time you lead a girl to surrender so completely try to be what you told her you were and not leave her like a fish out of water. 

so im back 'on the market' but not actively seeking, if someone comes along they'll have their work cut out, i was damaged before i met him, i'm even more so now, i may never trust again

11/19/2016 2:05:11 AM
BBB TOMORROW...WOOHOO

11/2/2016 11:33:32 AM
my latest creation, as you can see, poor old David tennant couldn't help himself, photo bombing me... sigh


10/18/2016 12:54:15 PM
how beautiful is this collar?

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/96980828/cage-style-predator-latex-rubber-collar?ref=related-2

Cage style PREDATOR Latex Rubber Collar With Lock  (--Made to Order--)

10/18/2016 5:04:16 AM
a whipping master gave me during the summer, and me masturbating at his feet, while he watched from the sofa.






10/14/2016 5:07:08 AM
you know you won when they devolve into insults, and having blocked them they make a new account to continue the insult tirade. it would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

10/13/2016 11:01:09 AM
i received a mail from a 'Dom' , a 68 yr old californian african american. it consisted of one line, all in capitols 'HOW VANILLA OF YOU'

I laughed because it is quite clearly intended to create a response in me, he is quite clearly sitting there feeling all superior and megaDomly, one of those 'only vanillas have feelings' types we all adore so much.

so i did reply to him

this is the content of my reply


your mail to me whilst only 4 words, tell me a huge amount about you. you 'accuse' me of being vanilla based on reading ...what? profile, journal? the fact that you dont specify what precicely is 'vanilla of me' suggests you wanted to 'get my back up' as we english say. the use of the word vanilla was almost certainly intended as an insult, and to demeen my worth as a submissive. your use of exclusive capitols suggests one of 2 things, it was typed in anger and intended to be taken as shouting, or you are too unintelligent to realize that the use of capitols is reserved for this reason.

overall your mail to me was intended to attract my attention, it didn't, other than to reply with my own opinion of you based on it. and i haven't even looked at your profile, cos i don't care 2 hoots whether you are the Domliest Dom of Domlanshire or the subliest sub in the suberbs.

i dont require the approval of someone so insignificant.

10/8/2016 11:48:38 AM
amazing shrinking woman... especially in the booby department, wonder if i should start a 'go fund me' page for a boob job?

10/8/2016 7:24:13 AM
my apologies if i have lost off any conversations, i am not ignoring anyone, just had 27 pages of messages in the last 4 days and its very confusing.

called into the piercing shop on the way home from work, feeling rebellious and brave...
i was going to have the christina re-done since it rejected last time, but having spoken to Ruth who owns the shop, i decided to go with a hood piercing, i'd had one previously, but incorrectly placed at another shop, and when I met Dave he took it out because he said any piercing i had would be his decision... ( i squeeled like a piglet )


10/7/2016 12:31:13 PM
in the last month i have lost 10lbs, thats over a dress size, that means the photos of me are slightly misleading now, lol, and the hilarious thing is, according to the weight height charts the nhs use i am still 10lbs over weight, i am rather worried if i lose 10lbs more i will have no boobs, no hips and nothing to grab!

10/7/2016 2:47:25 AM
wrote this a few years ago, and having been asked if i have any fantasies i am posting it here for all  to enjoy

The Surprise

Not every gift comes wrapped

The bags had been packed for a week, She was so excited, a long weekend away with the man of her dreams. She’d been in a daydream for days, as everyone around her commented, The blondeness had reached epic proportions. However she’d made it to the day in one piece, and here she was, sitting in the hotel bar, sipping a cocktail, with him. Every time he looked at her she blushed, he had this way of looking at her that made her feel naked, and sometimes it seemed he could read her mind. Of course he knew the effect he had, he would see her blush and squirm and he’d grin at her just that bit more, saying nothing, but telling her everything ‘you’re mine little girl’ his eyes told her. And she was, they both knew it. She leaned forward and whispered ‘I REALLY need to pee’ dignity went out the window when you had to ask permission to pee, she’s asked 3 times already and he’d said no every time. She blushed even more, feeling eyes on her from the next table, had they overheard her? Wondered why the hell this grown woman didn’t just excuse herself and leave? ‘go’ he said, and she slipped out of her seat and scampered off to the ladies room.

When she returned He was at the bar, chatting and laughing with the group of guys there, she wasn’t quite sure whether to go to him, or resume her seat. Ultimately she was saved, because he saw her, turned to the group of men and said something quietly, laughed, then turned and came to her. He took both her hands in his and spoke very quietly. ‘Go to the room, strip, pull the covers off the bed, lie face down, and don’t move until I tell you to. Not a word, not a peep, understand?’ she nodded silently. This was how it was, he ordered, she obeyed, this was how it was meant to be.

In the bedroom she did as ordered, folding the bed linen neatly, placing it on the sofa, slipping out of the little lacy dress she had been wearing, and leaving it on the floor, she wore no underwear, she never wore underwear, it got in His  way. She climbed onto the bed, one of those stupidly large hotel beds with the headboard attached to the wall, and she laid flat on her tummy arms raised above her head and her eyes  pressed into her upper arm. She waited, it seemed an eternity, but was probably no more than 10 minutes. There were footsteps in the corridor and the sound of the door opening, more footsteps stopping by the bed, silence for a minute or two. Then the sound of a zipper, the bag he had brought, and a blindfold slid over her face. She laid still, compliant, just as he liked her. More rustling in the bag, and then her hands were pulled behind her and tied, tightly, bound from wrist to elbow.

She waited, her breathing a little shallow, the anticipation of the moment was always her favourite part, wondering what he had planned for her today? There was laughter in the hallway, a group of guests making their way to their room probably. There was a knock at the door, room service? His footsteps and the sound of the door opening, low murmurs and laughter, her heart was beating fit to burst, what was going on?

Her ankle was suddenly grasped roughly and she was dragged down the bed by it, she struggled weakly, her arms were pinned so there were only her legs free, and one of those was in a vice like grip. As she kicked with the other one, it too was seized, and a voice she did not recognize spoke ‘feisty! Nice one’

Someone grabbed a handful of her hair, and her face was roughly jerked to the side ‘What…’ she began, she got no further. It is hard to speak with a mouth full of cock, it is hard to think of what to say when you have no idea who’s cock it is, even what colour it might be, it wasn’t his, she knew that much, because as it thrust deeper, making her gag, she felt the thick mass of pubes on her mouth and nose.

Her legs, still scrabbling were slowly but surely being brought under control. Spread wide apart, strong hands gripping her by the ankles and the thighs, and she felt a hand sliding higher and higher, and heard chuckling, which she assumed came from the owner of the hand. She tried once more to jerk free, but all she succeeded in doing was pulling her own hair so hard that she saw stars.

The hand was now probing her pussy, hard rough fingers pinching and pulling on the delicate pink lips, and a thick callused thumb slid inside her and probed deeply making her gasp around the mouth ful of cock.

‘you’re wasting fuck time’ a voice said, a third voice, how many of them were there?

The hand was withdrawn, and before she had time to brace herself she felt the pressure of a thick cock forcing its way inside of her, the owner grunting and the others laughing. She was almost choking on cock, tears stinging her eyes, panic setting in, when suddenly the cock was with drawn from her mouth. No mercy elsewhere however as the one now inside of her began to pound into her, his hands clawing at her arse and he was grunting like an animal.

‘Master!’ she cried out, but had no time to say anymore, as her hair was grasped again, her head jerked now to the other side, and another cock thrust into her mouth, this one clean shaven, but not Master’s she knew it wasn’t him, because she knew the feel of him.

She heard a soft chuckle from across the room, her Master, was watching from the armchair by the window, and he was enjoying it.

‘My turn’ was that another one? Or the first one again? She had no idea, but the cock in her pussy withdrew, her legs were grabbed and pulled to the side, pulling her almost off the cock in her mouth, the owner of whom burst out ‘what the fuck man, busy here!’ and resumed his violation of her throat, she could barely breathe, and was gasping for breathes in between the  bursts of fast thrusting, when he would almost withdraw, only to thrust deep again, whispering ‘you love it whore, I can tell you love it, you gonna take it all, you gonna be drinking my spunk all night girl’. And there was a cock in her again. Pounding again. And hands reaching around her thighs, fingers poking at her pussy and forcing their way in with the cock. ‘fucking perve’ the owner of the cock said. ‘damn right’ the owner of the fingers she assumed? Then with shock the fingers suddenly thrust into her tight little arsehole. Her body arched and her struggles renewed.

‘slap her’

That was Master’s voice.

The fingers removed from her ass and she felt a sudden stinging blow across her cheeks, then her hair was grasped once more, and her head roughly jerked up wards, her back arching away from the bed and to her horror, there were two of them, playing turns, one cock in her mouth thrusting as another was slapping her cheek, rubbing her neck, in her hair, then swapped. The mouth fucking was getting more frantic, and she almost didn’t notice the cock withdraw from her pussy. Until with a muffled scream, she felt the burning searing pain of her arse being forcibly entered, no mercy, this guy was in there and fucking her full on, as the first of the guys at her head began to moan and  she felt the hot stickiness of his come shooting across her face, dripping off her chin. The second cock now rubbing itself in the come and then back into her mouth, fucking deep, she felt the pulsing of his orgasm before his moans gave him away, and he pulled out too, grabbing her chin, holding her mouth open and letting his come shoot into her open mouth, dripping onto her tongue, his fingers following it, covering themselves in the sticky mess and rubbing it over her face. ‘suck them bitch’ said a voice. And she did. Meanwhile her ass was on fire, she swore it must be torn, but the man riding it did not pause, he rode her until the end, only withdrawing as he came loudly, shooting his load over her back. She thought maybe it was over now, but she was wrong, as hands grasped her arms and she was turned onto her side, the bonds on her arms were loosened, and she was pressed down on her back, her legs spread once more and she was penetrated once more, a mans weight pinning her to the bed… there was murmuring, rustling and the quiet thunk of a door opening and closing… not more of them? The body now riding her felt familiar, smelled familiar…hands now fumbled in her tangled hair, releasing her blindfold, slow rhythmic thrusts of cock inside of her… as the blindfold finally slid from her eyes and she blinked in the sudden light, she looked up into his eyes, smiling down knowingly, ‘good girl, Master is proud, you liked that didn’t you baby?’

She smiled at him, tears still flowing freely from her eyes

‘yes Master, it was lovely’


10/6/2016 4:00:54 PM
just received a message from a 'Dom' all it said was 'have you tasted piss yet' 

first message hes sent me,

i replied 


charming first message, well done on a new low. i applaude your tactlessness and a medal to you for the fastest ever 'block'


gave him time to read it, then blocked the wanker.

10/6/2016 2:57:45 PM
i've recently begun 'coming out' to work colleagues, a couple have known about me for some time, 2 others i told this week, one who's known a while is a young lad (well he's 29) and he is soooo curious, we worked together tonight and it was so much fun, he asked so many questions, i answered them all, we've laughed none stop... i was explaining that those straps you can buy to put under a mattress really aren't that good, its much better to have ones properly attached on the corners of the bed, as a young male customer entered the shop... customer overheard, eye brows nearly flew off and jaw dropped... i laughed and said 'pet, its no good being a prude if you work in a betting shop, the conversations we have in here would make your hair curl' 
bloody love my job i do.

10/5/2016 2:34:13 PM
wasn't kidding about it being a long day at work, by 5pm i just wanted to crawl under the counter and sleep! but i made it theough, and its pennies in the bank. but another 14 hr shift this sunday... i could cry, why do i volunteer for these shifts?

10/4/2016 10:06:54 PM
12 pages of mail yesterday, lol havent been this busy ever. long day at work today but i will try to reply to everyone this evening, it will be after 10.30 pm however so please dont be mad if i leave it til tommorrow

10/4/2016 12:38:47 PM
i want to take this opportunity to thank everyone, old friends and new, for the amazing support today, havent had a moment to myself to be honest. im working a 13 hr shift tomorrow so im afraid i wont be available other than to read a few mails in my lunch break, replying may not be possible, ee sucks. 

10/4/2016 1:17:11 AM
i have blanked my journal, as i have split with badmandave, and my journal was all about us, so i need to begin it again. as for him, he taught me a lot, but ultimately he lied to me, cheated on me, led me down the garden path and left me there. but no worries, it ended because it was over, some things you cannot come back from, some hurts you cannot forgive. hopefully we'll remain friends, but i don't know yet

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