KINGLIZARD

Male Dominant, 55, Las Vegas, Nevada

Male Submissive, 31, Riyadh

Male Dominant, 35, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Being "MASTER" is about INFLUENCE and AUTHORITY A Dominant's role assumes Authority within the D/s relationship and His influence can have a positive or negative effect on his submissive partner. This little Essay is an attempt to summarize the "good, bad and the ugly" of D/s styles. ? Some years ago I came up with what I call the "The ABC's of Power Exchange: (A) stands for: Adoration... a relationship based upon love, respect, honor and desire to please. (B) stands for Benefit... a relationship based upon shared or mutual gain, simply a bargain between counterparts with agreed upon value to both. (C) stands for Coercion... a relationship based upon physical force, threat, fear, and avoiding discomfort or punishment. A Dominant who prefers Force is a "fist in your face" tyrant. Coercion may achieve short-term results, but it produces a long-term drop in morale and undermines self-esteem in a submissive. Intimidation such as, "Do this or you will be punished," is a dictatorial style and I believe demonstrates a weak and insecure person. Manipulation of a sub using tricks and lies, is another coercive and one-sided style of Domination. Perhaps the Dominant gains what He desires, but the sub cannot understand what has happened or express her own imagination, initiative and eagerness to serve her Master. Co-dependent relationships fall into this category and a submissive who tolerates this style is likely to harbor resentment and unlikely to respect her Dominant, in the long run. Many Doms use bargaining and negotiation, a "give and take" style of influence. This is very common in "players" and it promotes fairness in D/s partnerships. The good news is, bargains can be reasonably effective for both Dom and sub, as D/s emotions and instincts are evoked without great risk to either partner. The downside is that "keeping score" tends to occur, and bargains can only last as long as both agree they are fair. I have noticed that many Dominants use this style to justify "trading up" and leave a sad and misused sub behind. The other problem is, it will eventually occur to the sub, that she has simply made a DEAL and is in control of her own fate. This awareness causes underlying doubt and stress, as she knows that she isn't truly submitting 100%. The Dominant who realizes that true submission arises from love and trust, (Adoration) accepts His responsibility to treasure and protect the D/s relationship. Authority is granted out of trust and respect and the highest form of influence is INSPIRATION. It seems to Me that it's much better to stir the heart of a submissive and appeal to her emotions using persuasion, reason, wit, charm, education, logic, and above all LOVE. This is difficult, as words (eloquence) and ways (actions) must be congruent. When a sub truly feels the emotional bond between herself and her Master, whatever tasks He asks of her will be a pleasure for her. When she is logically convinced and emotionally certain, that her Master loves her and wants what is best for her, she becomes self-motivated. An ADORING Sub will do whatever she can to serve and please her Master.

Reintroducing Myself here. Hello to old friends and new. Best Kinglizard

Male Dominant, 36, middle Ga, Georgia

Male Dominant, 47, Thornton, Illinois

Male Dominant, 39

Female Submissive, 54, Long Beach, California

Female Submissive, 32, Cherry Hill, New Jersey

Female Submissive, 19, Chico Area, California

Female Submissive, 24, Madison, Mississippi

Dominant Couple, 36, SF bay area ca, California

Male Submissive, 52, Charlotte Area, North Carolina

Dominant Couple, 42, Augusta, Georgia

Male Submissive, 51, cary, North Carolina

Male Switch, 29, Kamloops