Kidsphoenixx

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	About Kidsphoenixx We are back in Oz...permanently. Have found a house in SA and will be going there mid-Feb. Owned/married..... only interested in those who wish to be friends. I am unable to use the CM chat feature, so please do not be offended if I decline your invite.

when mastery fades, so does the freedom of slavery....all that remains are the chains of commitment.

He said:" teach me to know what you're thinking"
I thought: "How?"

Wouldn't it be nice if the rain that falls solely on the soul could be made manifest for a parched land.

Moses Supposes His Toeses are Roses....

.......but Moses supposes erroneously.
Moses is NOT alone.
I think it's time I "unsubscribed" to some theories I have obviously believed held a modicum of truth......it wasn't truth they held...it was hope.

on the beach
a shell
looking complete, whole, being what it IS
inside
empty

i took Master to the Dr, and, as i had secretly suspected, He was immediately put into the hospital. He will be in for at least 2 or 3 days. He has severe asthma apparently ( normal breath test is 60, His was barely 20 ).
He is not happy about it, but He knows He needs to be there.
Hopefully, now, He will allow me to take care of Him as I see fit. i begged Him for weeks to go to the Dr before it became so bad.It's hard to take care of someone when they won't allow it.

i'm sitting here, worried about Master. He's ill.....just after we arrived back in Oz, He picked up a chest wog....so did my son-in-law, and a few of his workmates( strangely, only the males caught it...odd). Master went to the Dr ( after much begging on my part), took His meds, and whilst He was a bit better, it seems that this wog has done some other damage to His lungs. Since we moved to Hammond, His lungs have been getting worse....the dust in this house, and the dust storms have been a big factor, we know( but we can't do much about the house until we can get all the renos/repairs done).
He has been getting progressively worse...i begged Him to go to the dr....all he did was buy some dust masks...which do help a little.
I lay in bed awake, listening to His breathing, worrying.
He can do very little work before He becomes so breathless he has to sit down.
FINALLY, this weekend, He admitted he better go to the Dr....so, tomorrow, off we go to Boolooroo.
i know it's pointless me worrying/stressing so much...but i can't help it. He made such a sacrifice to His life to bring me home, and i feel responsible? for how His health has deteriorated so much since we came here.( i know in my head that i'm NOT, but i can't escape the fact that He became this ill after He came here.)
i tried and tried to convince Him he should have gone to a Dr weeks and weeks ago....i give Him as much care/help as i can....if anything happens to Him i will be lost.

It's nice to be Home.

"When all else fails.....read the directions"
Which is fine, if you haven't lost your direction.

"Into all lives, some rain will fall"

4 years ago, i met Master in person for the first time...when he picked me up at Austin airport.
How life has changed since then. He has what he has always wanted, and i try to always be that for him.
:-)

Apathy
Emotion
Irrelevant
Old
Unwritten

Today, while I was looking in one of my many backup discs, I came across a poem I wrote well over a year ago.? I wrote it after the first time Master used heavy steel chains on me.

With vision obscured by smooth leather

Awareness of sounds, scent and skin

Enhances the anticipation

Small soft shivers and quickening breath

With the sensual rhythm enfolding

Standing quietly, senses alive

Held captive by chains and submission

Cold steel triggers heat deep inside

Draped over, across and then under

Burning skin , icy fire, hotter still

Cold clamps binding tighter and tighter

Each cold link driving senses aflame

Still exploring this sensory explosion

Warm fingers suddenly trace

Soft pattern for cold chain to follow

Embraced by a girdle of steel

Link by link, sliding lower and lower

icy steel seeking heats deepest core

Indrawn breath, quickens, spreading

Cold and fire encompass the soul

Yanno, it's the "Off Topic Discussion" Forum which always reminds me why I'm a hermit.

Well, the nasty weather over the last few days has wreaked havoc with Master's repairs to our roof, and we now have the major leak back in the foyer. :-(
This is a right royal PITA, with all its attendant wet carpet, moldy smell and now having to do a total re-roof of the whole front section of the house.
It sometimes seems that life is determined to undermine every "high" spot with an immeidate crashing back to earth "low" spot. It sure wears down one's aility to see the glass as half-full.

Tonight we have just finished transferring our computers back into the? lounge. They had been in the dining room since late last year, when we painted the lounge. It's nice to have more room again, and nice to be back on the left side of Master again. He is deaf on His right side, and I have developed the habit of always being on His left side. It is such an ingrained habit now, that on the rare occasions I walk anywhere with, say, my daughter, I automatically move to the left side, and if she yawns while I am talking, I automatically stop talking until she has finished. ( This is because when Master yawns He is totally deaf.)
Yesterday, Master bought me a new ergonomic keyboard, and it's fantastic! I reckon I'll become a touch typist very quickly now. I did take a few lessons a long time ago, and it seems this new keyboard encourages all the correct finger placement for touch typing! Master was also going to buy me a new PC, however, it seems one cannot buy any new PC that doesn't have Vista. I am not ready to succumb to M$ Vista yet, so Master said He will have my old PC upgrades to a dual core, 2gig RAM and 500gig hard drive.( Which were the specs of the new one He would have bought me.) That is something to really look forward to, especially as it will help me develop my whole new idea of helping people have their own website.
I also received a lovely email from a lady on here, praising my written words. To her, I say Thank you!

99% of the time I am very happy being a hermit. Occasionally though, itdrags me down.? Sometimes, after Master has left for work, it dawns on me that unless the phone rings( rarely), I will not speak one word out loud until Master returns home. Though, I guess I should take into account that I so speak to the cats. lol( But I think that is more just to hear a voice...even if it's just mine. lol) Actually, upon reflection, I DO speak through the day....especially to my computer if it's being a PITA!
Often, when Master is home, I will speak....and He replies( usually with a "What?")...and I have to tell Him I was talking to my computer. lol
All of this is not a new thing....I spent many years living isolated, where I would not speak to another human between the time my UMs left for school and the time they returned.
It's only every now and then that I feel any negative feelings about not having any human contact during the day.and it seems today is just such a one. But I need not stress, this too shall pass.
:-)

arrrggghhhhh! I can do a lot of things with my pc, I can use the net pretty well...BUT, for the life of me, I cannot seem to grasp the "intracacies" of IRC-type chat! I follow the instructions ( " type /nick", for example)...i do it, hit enter, and see a big error message about it! I have read up on it, intermittantly( whenever I venture in to an IRC chatroom...which is now very infrequently lol), but just seem unable to work it out. Oh well, back to MSN & Yahoo meesenger then LOL

Since returning to Texas, and indeed, even whileI was in Oz, i thought a lot about how, in all honesty,I had never really given the USA a fair go. I will admit, long before I ever met Master, I disiked( intensely), the USA. I won't give my reasons, for they are my opinions only. BUT I do admit that those feelings did seem to stop me from seeing the "good" here, and I have spoken to Master about it ( He is very aware of all my opinions on this country, and He is in? full agreement with me-? except for the gun laws, but we've agreed to disagree on that LOL...oh, and the wearing seatbelts, and bike helmets have joined the agree-to-disagree list lol......however, I feel He did not try to force me to try and see the good side, and for that I am grateful.? He has allowed me to work out my thoughts and felings, and listened to me about it.
I think I lost sight of the "home is where the heart is", and I felt my "home" could only ever be in Oz. Master knew those thoughts, and He was so adamant about me being happy, that He decided to take me "home"......and even though I knew He put the property on the market just so He could take me back to Oz, I tended to put that knowledge aside, selfishly.
To make a very long entry short.....I talked to Master about all this last night, and told Him I would really like to try and give here a second chance.........soooooooooo, we are now going to go ahead and divide off a good portion of our 20 acres, and, yes, sell it...BUT, we are going to use some of that money to bring our house up to the dream we have both had. We will be looking to buy a small "camp" at Lightning Ridge in Oz, so that we can go there over the? HERE summer, and Master can fossick for opals to His hearts content for a month or 2...I'd call that a "win-win" resolution. * smiles* ( mind you, I haven't told my kids yet! LOL)

Yes, our sleeping patterns have gone pretty much back to normal..which is good. lol
I have been flat out since my last entry...making Master His own website.? He has a keen interest in making His own tools/toys and furniture, and He thought that maybe there were others who do too. So He asked me to make a site... home made fet gear(dot com)...so I did! We would both love it if like-minded folks would come visit... join in, stay a while, offer some suggestions/ideas/plans. We? know just how expensive some of our "tools of the trade" can be..and we? know how much fun it is to shop at Dom Depot...so if YOU have some "tried and true" ideas, do please come let us know.

Arrived back in Texas on Monday. A terrible flight, I only managed about an hour sleep.
Was wonderful to be held by Master again.....by some quirk of nature, we have both been unable to sleep much at all since I arrived back. for 3 nights we averaged about 1 hour each.( "activities" not withstanding...which usually give both of us a good long nap..but didn't)
Oh well, perhaps we will slip back into "normal" sleeping pattern when Master goes back to work next Tuesday.

Well, the wedding went beautifully.....with the usual pre-nuptual stress for the bride. lol
Master loves Oz, and can't wait to come back. He had to return to Texas on Saturday...I return next Monday.....the fact that I will get on that plane is a testament to His total ownership of me....and that is as it should be.
( Anyone want to buy 20 acres in Texas?? LOL)

Well, it finally happened! LOL
?? The "Master" who emails a blistering, abusive diatribe........then blocks me from answering. LOL
I feel kinda "honoured".......I hear so many others have it happen, and I was beginning to think I was the "odd" one out.
Thank you sooooooo much, you wonderful "Master Palmer and your 5 daughters" you. * grinning*

Though I am quite happy to chat to anyone who just wishes to be friends, I am unable to use CM chat function. So, if you would like to chat, please just email me here.
Please also be aware that I AM an Owned/Married woman, and friends/friendly chat is all I am interested in.
Thank you.

I was on CM quite a while ago. Some things change...some stay the same.? Eventually the "birds of a feather" syndrome always kicks in....so here I am again.

Kidnapper69 Male Dominant, 43, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania	Kiddoo Male Dominant, 52, Miami, Florida	kidd60 Male Submissive, 61, Westland, Michigan	kiddnomore Male Dominant, 56, chicago, Illinois
Kidnapper Male Dominant, 45, London	kidfifty00 Male Dominant, 57, jesup, Georgia	kidvdw Male Dominant, 33, Hillsboro, Oregon	kidnapme Male Submissive, 19, Birmingham
kidnapme22 Male Submissive, 47	kidnapandkeep Male Submissive, 46	kidnapmast Male Dominant, 33, denver, Colorado	Kidd Male Dominant, 44, Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Kidsphoenixx

About Kidsphoenixx