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February 2011 Update:
I'm on a sabbatical - for at least the next three months. I need time to think, sort things out, refocus myself toward what I need, and refamiliarize myself with the void. That means I am not looking for a controlling partner at this time and will not answer (and may not even fully read) e-mails that are directed toward that goal. I'll take this notice down should my status change. I strongly prefer you not write me at this time.
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Ah, how does one begin?
Actually, I'm a lot more interested in how one ends.
I'm experienced, eloquent, curious about everything, and very intense. I like complexity in people, and people who like complexity. I'm cute for my age and don't, I believe, look my age: olive skin generally means slower aging. I try to practice submission as intelligently as I am capable of doing so. I do this because I am intensely passionate about submission, subservience, service. My best qualities are extreme patience, more-than-extreme open-mindedness, a good sense of timing, perceptiveness, and a very warm and welcoming heart. I'm also very experienced with obedience. I'm a woman looking for her master, I'm looking for absolute ownership...and nothing else. I give it all, and I do mean "all." Yes, I'm one of those strange girls who can't say "no"...to the right person. If you live in a world of safe words and limits and ssc or even rack, we don't speak the same language, I'm afraid. I do understand "master" and "slave" very well, however.
My character flaws include social cowardice (also known as shyness). In this context it means, I find it hard to contact those I think are "too cool for me" as I fear their rejection. My past experience tells me it's often an unfounded fear, but that doesn't do much to quell the fear. :( I'm working on that one, though. I'm pushing through it. My overall paranoia is a bit higher than most peoples', but not out of control. If you knew my background, it would probably make sense to you. I'm also a bit of an elitist, not for fine wines, but for fine minds. The last decade has been quite rough on me, but I've survived it and also done considerable recovery (this is ongoing).
I'm seeking a (ideally--but I'm not married to this, see next paragraph) single male dominant owner, and not much of anything else, as I believe the one checked box on the profile indicates. I've been owned before and it's the only way I wish to live. There's nothing better for someone like me.
Although I suppose I have my "nice-to-haves" and my standards, I will ignore every one of them for the one (standard) that trumps all: I insist that a future owner actually (in deed, not in empty boasting) be able to control and dominate me! This should go without saying, but on even on a place like this website, this particular standard is, alas, almost impossible to get met. Of course, I only need to find it once. :) To me, actually controlling and dominanting me means doing so in person, not perpetually over a computer.
I'm not particularly hard to control (I know, all the girls say that. ;) But consider this: not only have I had extensive--as in years and years--of submitting to authority but after that experience life knocked a great deal of the silly and petty attitudes out of me--leaving me pretty much with only my core need for the "right place" that never goes away.
My non-sexual interests include exploration, travel, online exploration, games & puzzles of all sorts, learning (any area), reading, hiking, discussing interesting philosophical ideas and world events. I like silly web humor--well, at least that which I haven't seen 10,000 times before. I love and greatly appreciate art and music, although I don't make either. For relaxing, almost meditative times, I may mine minerals on WOW and sort my inventory on SL. (Yes, something of a geek here--but a simple sort of geek.) I love nature and the outdoors. I love my pet and interacting with her.
I work for a living but I've never been ambitious or a careerist. My true vocation is unstinting service, giving, loyalty, and devotion to someone who can enslave me. I'm something of a doormat, I have low self-esteem, and I'm looking for someone who appreciates this quality.
Sexual interests include pain, more pain, maybe even some more pain, humiliation,/degradation, extreme control, slavery, unfairness, domineering attitudes, perversity, restrictions for the fun of it, brainwashing, mental/emotional control. The activities actually do not matter nearly as much as the attitude and the overall tone of the relationship (one of crushing control). With the right attitude, the most vanilla activities can become laden with perversion. I have that attitude--in spades--but this cannot be a one-way street. You need to possess its complement, to possess me.
I don't have preferences about your occupation, appearance, finances., social class or standing, race, religion, politics, and possibly gender identity or age. These things are surface-y things to me. But the key thing I absolutely need has to be in place first: a dominant who can actually control me and, since we are meeting each other online, someone who knows how to convince me of this over a computer. To me, neither control freak nor doormat are dirty words: in fact, which these two types get together, it can be a close-to-perfect fit.
I'm not worried about your vanilla interests matching mine. I assume I'll adopt most of yours and perhaps you'll tolerate a few of mine. Or perhaps you won't, and that's fine too.
I am unencumbered and can and will relocate for the right person. I want to be owned, preferably permanently, in a physical relationship in which I am kept close to you and, preferably, on a very tight leash. I am not interested in permanent or long-term online-only relationships. I need physical contact.
My inner nature is sweet-tempered, generous, calm, and full of wonder...and also a bit silly. I protect that well online. If I grow to trust you, I'll slowly let some of it show.
But I do need what I need. Which is, to say it one more way, a relationship I cannot walk away from. Cannot. Ever. If you're expereinced with engineering such situations, I'd certainly like to hear from you.
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"Every woman needs a man to hold her reins," Fraser said. "It’s God’s plan for the relations of men and women."
Mallory scowled.
Fraser saw his look, and thought the matter over again. "It’s Evolution’s adaptation for the human species," he amended.
Mallory nodded slowly.
:)
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A quote I've seen on a number of profiles:
"There is nothing more erotic than being understood" - Molly Haskell
I personally find it far more erotic to be misunderstood. |
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