kevinbh

Today i joked with my Goddess and acted like i was in charge when we first spoke.  She seemd amused at first.  Now i am waiting by the phone, desperately wanting to touch myself but i don't dare without Her permission.  She owns me and this cock...

my Goddess is out on a date with another potential slave tonight.  She called me and described Her short skirt, stockings, sexy boots and tight top.  Before She left, She had me thank Her for allowing me to be Her slave while she goes out tonight and reaffirm how pathetic i am, how i am no longer a real man, and how amusing it is to Her that i am sitting at home hoping to hear from Her while She is out with another man.

i have truly and am really being broken and molded to serve and please Her.  i am Her pathetic bitch slave and long to please Her in any way, shape, or form.

Today my Goddess told me about some additional subs/slaves She is allowing to talk to Her.  i thanked Her for allowing me to be such a slave to Her and i am so lucky to love and worship Her.  My goal is to please, serve, and worship Her.  i am truly Her pathetic bitch.

as i write this i am on my knees for my Goddess where i belong worshipping Her.  i am naked at Her demand and She has had me place a banana inside me for Her amusement while i thank Her and pay Her bills to show my devotion and love for Her. i am truly a lucky pathetic bitch for my Goddess and worship Her.  She owns me and everything.  i love Her, my Goddess.

Today my Goddess told me about a new potential lover of Hers.  She told me about what She is doing to this lover and eventually i was thanking Her for allowing me to be more pathetic and subservient to Her...She then had me eat cum for Her as She smiled and laughed about how pathetic i am for Her. 

She also discussed how i will be caged in chastity and serving Her as She continues to have lovers if She so desires.  i thanked Her for allowing me to please Her as she is my true Goddess and i am beyond pathetic for Her existing to please and amuse Her.  i am truly Her pathetic bitch.

Tonight my Goddess let me take Her out to dinner...i am very lucky indeed.  When we returned, She had me immediately dress as Her whore and then begin puppy training.  i fetched a rubber bone for almost a half hour for Her and learned to sit, yield, beg, pant, speak, give paw, heel, and roll over.  At the end of the puppy training She put me in a pair of black boots.  She was wairing sexy black boots as well and stepped on the back of my head shoving it into a bowl of dog food.  She continued to do this as i took money out of my wallet thanking her for doing this too me.  It was such a surprise for Her as She didn't know i had secretly visited the ATM. 

She thanked me for being so creative and awarded me by taking pictures.  The only time i was able to stop eating dog food was when She would take Her boot off my head and either allow me to give Her more money, repeat how pathetic i was to one of Her commands, or drink cum water.

i am truly a lucky pathetic bitch slave for Her...for my GODDESS.

i will soon be permanently locked in a custom cage for Her and She has told me i will further learn to love dog food, cum, and paying Her money in a Pavlovian way as sexual pleasure and serving Her continue to be linked. 

Last night my Goddess let me take Her out to dinner.  She, of course, picked the restaurant, ordered for me, and allowed me to give her my credit card to pay.  She also made sure i was wearing a pink negligee top and lace pink panties...i am a lucky pathetic bitch slave and couldn't wait to come home to please Her.  

She decided i wasn't worthy pleasing her and i was allowed to iron her clothes while she watched some tv...i was then left to sleep in the negligee and panties without touching Her...hopefully she will post more pictures soon...

My Goddess has also told me that if i am lucky i will be doing puppy training today...i have been told i must purchase roses, shoe polish, and a can opener for Her today.  She told me that tonight, if i am lucky, She will let me order room service for Her while i eat dog food at Her feet.

today i was allowed to be my Goddess's secretary and prove how much more of a pathetic bitch i am for Her.  i am so lucky to be Her slave.  if i continue to please Her my next training will be doggy obedience school.  i can't wait to be Her dog...to sit under the table while She eats the meals i have prepared for Her...to bark when the doorbell rings...i am truly pathetic, owned, and lucky. 

i haven't spoken to my Goddess in a while and i am so pleased to be on my knees for Her saying and doing whatever pleases Her...i can't wait to do so much more in whatever capacity She desires...i exist to please my Goddess!

today i paid bills for my Goddess....Her bills which means mine....i am truly Her pathetic bitch!  i love it and Her.

today my Goddess made me do a tasking for money or really payments for Her bills...although apprehensive i was drawn by forces i can't explain beyond Her complete and total power as my Goddess...i couldn't help but follow Her commands and instructions and somehow wanted so much to complete Her taskings as quickly as possible just so i could tell Her..it made me feel pathetic and tiny...i am pathetic and tiny for my Goddess...i am without power unless She provides it...i am looking to please Her now however She chooses: humiliation, patheticness, financially, socially, mentally, and physically.  i am owned by my Goddess.

you are My dog, My slave, My bitch...

you live to serve Me.

Everyone who sets eyes on this page knows it, though they don't understand how deep it goes.

That's only for U/us to understand.

I'm breaking you...and I'm writing about it here because I want everyone to know how devoted you are to Me.

when I have you on the floor in a heap, wrapped around My ankles, telling Me how much you worship Me and live to serve Me...that is when you are at your most honest, isn't it?

~PB

i get hard when my Goddess allows me to get hard...in fact, i almost have reached a point where i can't get hard without Her telling me to or without Her permission.

i eat whatever She has me eat including my own frozen cum...

She can have me on my knees licking Her boots, posing for pictures, or groveling in a trans-like state where i can only listen to Her and follow Her rules, wishes, and desires.

i am truly Her pathetic bitch and desire nothing more than to please and serve Her...my incredible Goddess...i am so lucky...

kevin is learning to anticipate My needs on a regular basis...

he is being programmed to know that I am right about what he wants and needs...

I will be having a custom chastity device made.

he will be My locked up bitch...learning to serve Me, please Me and live for Me.

I cannot *wait* to keep him as My housemaid, locked up, dressed as I see fit, completing task lists, making appointments...

~Pastry

i am starting the cycle of where i need to be reprogrammed by my Goddess...where i am being remolded in a way that completely satisfies my Goddess...i find my daily routine including leaving Her messages of my patheticness...begging to learn new ways to please Her...making Her laugh at my humiliation...needing her...wanting to be Her fucktoy, cum hole, whore, 1950s wife, and slave...i can no longer keep from writing these things...She is incredible and a Goddess my Goddess.  i worship Her and bow at Her boots.

i find my patheticness to have grown to new levels...i find pleasing her to be my reality and part of my life...consuming me...Her life really.  i find i look at cages, a pet store, gags, everything to please Her.  i am no longer in charge of this life and it become more and more Hers...although i really find i can do nothing about it, it pleases me still.  i am so lucky and long to be a total slave for this incredible Mistress.  She truly rules. 

8/5/11

kevinbh becomes more and more My little bitch every day. he is in almost constant contact with Me, needing to hear My voice and receive My guidance. he calls Me in the morning, whenever he gets a free moment at work, on the way home from work...

he's completely pathetic for Me and is becoming increasingly dependent on Me as the days pass.

I've taken measurements of My cock and will be ordering a handmade cage for it, which he will be wearing unless I tell otherwise.

While his job does not allow for him to wear a training collar (really, whose does?) he has purchased, at My direction, an item which he wears in plain sight, everyday, to remind him of his place beneath Me.

the level of my patheticness for my Goddess has grown to where i can no longer control it...in fact, She knows that as i write this i have Her smiling at how much She has come to own and control.

Imagine helping solicit slaves and subs to serve Her and loving it, imagine wanting to be caged and have Her control your ability to cum and touch yourself, imagine being humiliated at will just to please Her and hoping She will futher put you in your place where you belong....it is incredible and i almost have no ability to think other than at Her will...

She will do this to me more each day, each talk, each stomp...

my ability to control my life is being taken...it has become Her life...i almost can't do anything without Her permission...She has asked me also known as commanded me to begin asking for Her permission to do the most simple of tasks whether in front of Her or away from Her....

How is it that i desperately want to give Her gifts and money to prove my worth...how is it that She has taken such control to where i almost can't think and desire nothing more than to serve Her and please Her...

helping to train a new pup for my Mistress is incredible...so pathetic that i am training another slave to serve next to me for Her...soon we will both be beneath Her boots that we purchase and outfits we beg Her to let us buy so that She can torture us, enslave us, own us, use us as furniture, and mold us into Her pathetic slaves.   thank You my Goddess.

i am starting to learn my role with Mistress and how She has truly begun to take over what was once my world...how it has become Her world and one in which i exist to please Her...i am not sure how exactly it came about, but i know i am much happier and find myself each and every day trying to please Her in any way i can.

Her humiliating tasks whether publicly wearing clothing for Her, having Her tell or show people of Her control, or even order a drink for Her while She is flirting with someone else are just the beginning...

to those She is recruiting...understand the power...be honest, sincere, and by all means friendly and respectful....it is Her world and one from which you will never return...say goodbye to anything you once knew...She is all.

today She spoke to me about engaging another couple.  one of Her goals, in addition to Her slaves, is to find another Femdom couple and both Her and the other Woman be served by us.  i will do whatever i can to please Her.  They could have dinner and laugh at us under the table please Them and Her.

Tonight i am sitting at home while She is out with friends.  i patiently await Her phone call to let me know She wants or needs something.  Last night She made me sit at home and call Her all night while She wouldn't answer but instead would tease me....She makes me such a pathetic bitch...Her pathetic bitch...i want Her so badly...so so badly...

3/30/11

There is a pathetic feeling about not being able to touch yourself unless She lets you, even when you aren't caged.  There is something pathetic about when She has you on your knees with your hands extended waiting for your collar and cuffs.  There is something pathetic about when She makes you touch Her cock and then makes you stop before you cum.  She makes me pathetic but i can't help myself...

3/27/11

Today I am required to write a profile describing how happy i will make Her.  i made a few mistakes and She corrected them for me....thank you for Her guidance.

My plan is to continue to be broken by Her until i am a total pile of playdough ready to be molded and reformed in whatever manner She so chooses. i imagine i will be anything from a footstool to any other type of pathetic furniture. i am sure at some point i will serve Her drinks while another slave/sub pleases Her. i additionally welcome it when i will greet her on my knees with my arms extended waiting for Her to cuff me. i will be collared and caged in some chastity device.

3/26/11

Even when i think She is mean to me or perhaps deliberate to me i still can't help yearn for Her power and complete control over me.  She has begun to control all aspects of my life and i want nothing more than for Her to take more control.  She has almost completely broken me and She tells me She intends to rebuild me as the perfect slave, bitch, and whatever else She desires.

3/19/11

Today my Goddess has allowed me to begin writing a journal for her.  She has shaved my body and as i write i am wearing wrist and ankle cuffs.  i can barely think by myself at this point and She has kindly agreed to allow me to begin training.  Each moment i become more of Her pathetic bitch.  She has started to teach me responses and commands, "I am Her pathetic bitch, She owns this cock."

There are times when training a new submissive can get cumbersome.

they get defiant, they try to trick you...

Secretly, though, they want you to catch them.

they need you to.

Usually, no harm is meant.

submissives are like children, they test the waters...see what they can get away with.

they're acting out because they need the attention.

it's just a phase...

  ~Pastry

I can no longer look at plastic wrap or certain items without being reminded of how she owns me and binds me; mentally and physically



when i see or hear a man being bossed around by a woman i am excited and desire her to discipline me



i read the articles She sent me and they have only strengthened my convictions to serve her and have her take more control of my...her life...I want and need to please her and be her 1950s wife.

today i was hard after i read her messages to me about being her bitch, cleaning for her in a thong, and buying her boots...although i am hard, i dare not touch her cock as i am now starting to have a mental block about being able to cum without her permission. i feel myself hard, but will not touch myself...will not touch her cock without permission. what is happening to me...

7/12/09: Is it that difficult to find someone who just enjoys being pleased and pleasing another? Not looking for crazy, just crazy together...  please contact me if you agree and are looking for something similar.