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Female Submissive, 47, NothField, New Hampshire
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Female Dominant, 36, Brisbane
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Submissive Couple, 18, British Columbia
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About Katalgar
Greetings and Salutation,
My dear wife(whom I met online) and I have talked at length about the life we want to live and the ideals we hold. One of the concepts we agree on is that love is never diminished by sharing. So, we began looking into the polyamorous lifestyle. We have decided that we should explore the possibility of a third in our relationship.
Now, as you are reading this, you may be asking yourself if we are what you are looking for. I could be all juvenile fantasy filled BS and say slaves don't choose, they get chosen. Sigh, but anyone who is wise will know that a BDSM relationship is truly about trust. It is more about trust than a regular relationship. I know that, depending on what forms of play you indulge in, improper play can result in unwanted injuries or at least awkward questions from surprise visitors. So I can neither ask nor tell you if I am the Dom you are looking for, nor can I say if you would be compatible with my wife. Only you can decide if you are to be at my mercy.
To better allow you to decide, let me describe our relationship. We don't have a one sided Dom/sub relationship. I don't make all the decisions and she doesn't obey without question. I don't believe people should truly be nothing more than doormats without will and soul. It means nothing to submit unless you have the will and ability to choose not to. Nor does she question, chide, balk or taunt me with defiance, as once a pledge is given I expect it to be kept wholly. I consult her on decisions I make, I listen to her wants and desires, then I decide what I think is best for all. I act as a benevolent king instead of a supreme overlord. I feel it is better to have loyal subjects who obey out of respect and love than out of fear or obligation.
We practice an adaptive form of a 24/7 relationship. I don't tell her what to do every waking moment and she doesn't wait on my every command. It modulates depending on circumstance, environment, and current obligations. We have some code words and phrases that are innocuous but convey commands. We have divided the responsibilities of our lives to play to our strengths and to minimize our weaknesses. I intend to continue this practice if we find one we can truly trust in a relationship. For instance as I seem to have a black thumb of pestilence, I have her tend the garden.
As for my interests, I am what is known as a polymath (or would be if I got on better with the inane inefficiency of our school system). For those of you who don't know what a polymath is, the simplistic definition is that a traditional polymath would have PhDs from disparate disciplines (ex. Mathematics, and Art history.). In other words I'm an interested in just about everything that requires thought (as my library will attest). My spouse somewhat lesser so, but intellectual discourse is usually a side dish at our dinner table.
For physical activities we are outdoorsy people, camping, hiking, etc... We believe in self reliance and in enjoying the beauty of nature.
As for what we are looking for... Well that is a harder question. I know some things about she whom we may share our life. She is kind and considerate. She has compassion. She has a brain and isn't afraid to use it. She has a beauty that shines from within. She chooses to submit not because she is weak and helpless, but because she wishes to lend her strength to form a stronger whole. I am not a harsh Master. I will not force you to obey (at least outside of designated play time). If you are she whom we seek, know that you will not be lesser or greater than my current pet in my affections nor in hers. For we don't seek a V style relationship but a true triad, one in which all parties love and play together.
I hope this has shed some light our us and on She whom we seek. If you are interested in getting to know either of us. Drop us a line. It's always nice to meet new people. |
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I'm aware my profile is currently a wall of text. I'll have to ask my dear sweet wife to offer revision suggestions, perhaps I'll put most of what we are and we want in journal entries. I'll have to see what happens and what comments I get. Constructive criticism welcome, deconstructive criticism will be laughed at then ignored.
I have to say that I will be acting as a filter for my wife. All serious or friendly messages will go through unfiltered (she is not a unused to the horrors of the Internet fuckwad theory), however there is little reason to waste her time with trolls. Also her responses will also be unfiltered. I only mention this this as I very strongly believe that all love is built on open honesty and trust. Open honesty means that as the relationship forms you can and will be hurt by the growing pains. It is impossible to love someone and be in a relationship with them and not cause them emotional pain. It just doesn't happen. Love is where the respect, compassion, caring, little treasures, understanding, sympathy, unrequested aid, pleasant surprises, and the million other joys of love far outweigh the scraps and bruises that must accompany the friction that is caused when lives rub together.
One of the reasons we feel we can look for and bring a third into our life is that we do truly trust and love each other. My wife and I don't have secrets from each other, at least none that matter. I don't have to know everything she has ever done or thought or felt. Nor does she know all that lies in my heart. But part of our relationship is that we pledged we will never lie to each other when asked not to and answer all question truthfully no matter how painful the answer might be to say or hear. We've had rough times in the beginning. But no where near as bad as any of either of our prior relationships.
We felt and still feel that the open honesty we shared with each other not only brought us closer together, but slowly build a web of love and trust that can withstand anything. We feel that this is why it is safe for our relationship to look for a third.
Why, you might ask, do we wish for a third? I will only answer for myself and let my wife write a future post with her answer. For matters like this I will not put words in her mouth.
I want someone with a different point of view to bounce ideas off of. Someone who will open my eyes to new insights and ideas. Someone that will show me new ways to show they care and love, and invite me to show them the same. Someone who will stay up all hours talking about the mysteries of the universe with either of us. Someone who is not afraid of self-examination.
I expect only two things from anyone I will form a long term bond with. Compassion, if you can not care for yourself and other then you can not care for me, nor should I care for you. And self improvement. I believe we are all less than perfect, ignorant, unskilled fumbling through this existence. But I also believe that you should always strive to do better, be better than you were yesterday.
more will follow.
Katalgar |
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