Kaffinated

Let me start by being honest - I'm not so sure I belong here. Well, I do, but I'm really new to all this. I've known I was a sub as long as I've understood exactly what that meant. All my life I've looked for someone who would be my bestest friend and who would show me the key to my true soul. I've been through hell and back the past few years and I'm finally coming into my self again. I'm losing crazy weight, meeting amazing people and finding facets of myself that I didn't know existed...

And then I'm reading the Anita Blake novels and at one point Laurell k. Hamilton writes that (and I'm paraphrasing atm) to not be able to be yourself in the bedroom is like a small death. I thought about that for a minute. I thought about the few relationships I've had over the past few years... have I been myself? Have I been able to be myself both in the bedroom and out? ....... nope. And I think it's time for a change...

Now, granted, I am no angel but the last few years have been so vanilla for me that I feel almost as if I'm a virgin again. I need someone who can understand that. I need someone who is definately dom but who will respect that I don't think this would ever be a 24/7 lifestyle choice. It's definately fun for me, it's something I've wanted for a very long time and I want to find someone who's kind, gentle, understanding yet firm, strong and who will push my boundries while still letting me set the pace......